Friday Thoughts: Currently
Hi, friends. How are you? I’ve been off the grid for a while (I’ll explain more below), which is why there has been a short break from recipes. But I have been anxious to check in with a Friday Thoughts post! I LOVE connecting with you in the comment threads of these posts, and with so, so much going on right now for all of us, it’s time to have a friend therapy session together, wouldn’t you say?
Today, for this Friday Thoughts post, I’m sharing what I’m up to currently (both physically and mentally). And then it’s your turn to tell me what your “current” status is!
1) Currently eating all the things.
It took a good six weeks but I finally fully healed from the gum graft surgery that kind of rocked my world. Because the surgery involved slicing the roof of my mouth to extract the tissue used for the gum graft on my front lower teeth, the healing process took a bit longer, and I was only tentatively eating soft foods at week four (I also had a few issues with parts of the graft slipping so I was on extra strict orders).
However by week six, everything had healed, and I’ve been well on my way to making up for all the lost eating time since then.
Mostly, chips.
I pray mightily I never, ever have to have that surgery again. So much compassion and respect for those of you that have had it multiple times! It was not a pleasant experience for me. Now I’m prepping to get a crown redone as a result of the domino effect that is dental work.
2) Currently listening to a lot of audiobooks.
Right now, I’m halfway through The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden; the storytelling is captivating. I just finished Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson and have enjoyed talking about it and processing it with Brian and my kids who also read it (we’re watching the movie this weekend), and The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown is next.
Any favorite audiobooks to share?
3) Currently spending a lot of time with our quarantine-acquired, new-ish kunekune pigs.
I share more details about them on my @melsfauxfarm account, but they have been a fun addition to whatever you call the random hybrid lifestyle of country and suburbia we have going on.
Also, I’ve never scratched so many piggy bellies in my life. If you can’t find me, I am 100% most likely out in the pig pasture, which has become my favorite, peaceful place in all the world (except if the pigs are hungry, and then watch out) and best way to detox from the day (and chaos of the world as of late). Highly recommend kunekune pigs to all the world.
As a sidenote: we have four purebred, registered kunes. Two girls/gilts: Olivia and EmmyLou. Two boys/boars: Benny and Eddie. Three of my kids invested money from their savings in these pigs as breeding pairs. So, next year some time, we will probably be swimming in adorable piglets for sale. (Kunes are raised for breeding and meat.) They are friendly, gentle, *mostly* non-rooting and non-wallowing pigs that eat our pasture grass and make us very happy.
4) Currently hoarding all the huckleberries while enjoying short hair again.
I dragged the kids up to pick our annual supply of huckleberries (the last few years we’ve picked near McCall, Idaho, but don’t ask me where we go specifically, because if you huckleberry regularly, you know revealing your secret spot is an unpardonable sin). We pick them solely to make huckleberry milkshakes all year long.
Huckleberries are the best, and I missed them every single day of every single year we lived in the midwest. Also, I got eight inches cut off of all of my hairs, and I feel like a new woman (especially now that it has grown a few weeks and is *just* long enough to fit in a ponytail again).
4) Currently gathering books to donate to our middle school and elementary school libraries.
In a small effort to involve my kids in affecting change for racial equality and justice in our own community, we decided to research, gather, and donate 40-50 books to both the middle school and elementary school libraries.
Books that promote, champion, and highlight diversity, black lives, and racial issues and equality. We’ve been working with both school librarians to figure out what books they already have in their libraries. Thanks to a well-stocked middle school library, we’ve expanded the middle school list to include a few other books that champion diversity in other marginalized groups as well.
Photo credit: Jane Mount
If you’re interested in the full list of books, here you go. (Disclaimer: I haven’t read every single book on this list; use your own discretion if checking these out for you or your child.)
We are trying to source and purchase most of the books from independent and/or black-owned book sellers across the country, and hopefully, we’ll be able to get them to the school libraries ASAP. It has been a fun and rewarding project to work on together.
My secondary goal is to also get these books circulated among individual classrooms and also volunteer in the elementary school to highlight and read these books in the library and classrooms so these books don’t get forgotten on the shelves – all of this is dependent on how school will look this year due to covid, but we’ll take it one step at a time.
5) Currently learning that my anxiety is at an all-time high.
It’s been a weird, hard, rough, enlightening, chaotic, frustrating, stressful six months for me. The uncertainty of everything has me feeling stretched very thin, and I’ve had to dig deep for coping skills that I haven’t had to use in a while. I wish I had the answers and all the solutions and, mostly, A Detailed Future Plan to Write Firmly in a Spreadsheet and Follow Daily.
I don’t have any of that, dang it. But I just want to say that if you are feeling like some days you are drowning in all of the noise and chaos and uncertainty and hypocrisy (on every side) and fear and stress and judgment, you aren’t alone.
As someone who has googled “am I having a panic attack?” more than once in the last few months, I can also personally attest that there’s a lot of peace and happiness out there, too. It actually hasn’t gone anywhere, it’s just been pushed and nudged aside by the louder, dominating, noisy voices.
I’m learning that for me, one of the keys to finding my inner peace and resilience again is to disconnect. From social media, the internet, and technology in general. (And even from real life people who tend to bring me down.) It’s an almost instantaneous, shoulder-relaxing effect when I log off everything. And I’ve learned that, guess what, I actually don’t miss that much when I’m not checking Instagram daily.
And then once I disconnect, I try to simultaneously connect with what I already intrinsically know brings a longer-lasting peace: God, my family (like, really connecting with them one on one), the outdoors, and sometime just being alone if I can manage it.
As a verified introvert, I’ve been challenged big time since March. Listen, I love my kids and husband. They’re great. I want to live with them forever. And I genuinely would choose family time over just about anything else (as in, family night out over girls’ night out any day of the week). But all disclaimers aside, I am mentally rejuvenated when I have a degree of quiet alone time. And that has been noticeably absent the last little while especially since I’m in the parenting phase of early rising kids (who are too old to take naps) and late bedtime teenagers. {Admittedly, the aforementioned quiet pig pasture has helped with this introvert initiative a bit even if a kid, or two, tags along sometimes.}
It’s a process and a cycle – this disconnecting and connecting thing – and definitely not a one time thing. It’d probably be better if I could just learn to balance it all on the daily, but I don’t do that very well, so when I reach my peak, I just disconnect, restabilize, and move on. It’s meant I’ve been a little hit and miss here on the blog and on social media this year. Quality over quantity, right? 🙂
What coping skills are working for you right now?
Edited to ask: if you have kids at home, what are your school plans for fall?? The school year here was slated to start this coming Monday but it has been delayed until September 8. At this point I’m planning to send my kids back to school (although it’s doubtful they’ll be *at* school very often, if at all, based on our #’s and the district’s plan to keep them home if we are in the yellow or red zone).
6) Currently traveling across the wilds of Northern Idaho and Montana in Thor, the behemoth RV we rented on rvshare.com (not sponsored).
It was a whim of an idea. With so many of our other plans canceled this spring and summer, the normally unimpulsive Brian-Mel pair looked at each other a couple weeks ago and decided on the spot to rent an RV and drive around with the family, self-contained and fancy free.
It has been dreamy so far (except for when the concentrated family time has proven a bit too much – and also, I’ve learned which of my children have a serious stinky feet problem).
Most of the time we’ve been without cell service in places where beauty and hygiene standards are wonderfully, acceptably low. And we’ve done a mix of dry camping (no hook ups) and RV park glamping (full hook ups). Hi, lukewarm shower, I’ve missed you.
We left with a general idea of where we wanted to go and what we wanted to do with all the flexibility of changing those plans at any minute thanks to driving a creaky house on wheels.
So far we’ve been up by Redfish Lake near Stanley, Idaho (which now ranks as one of our favorite places in Idaho), Cour d’ Alene (the most gorgeous place on earth), and we rode the Hiawatha Trail yesterday on our bikes (a bucket list item we have now checked off and hope to do many times in the future – AMAZING).
We’ll have to get back to real life eventually, but I highly recommend the RV adventure-on-a-whim experience for regenerating good family vibes, forcing a break from technology and the chaos of the world right now, and showing your kids, especially The Teenagers you are still grand master of all.the.card.games and corn hole.
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Ok, this was a long one. I have a lot more to say, but I’ll let you get on with your life. Ha. Remind me to tell you about our dusty living room/kitchen remodel, my new favorite pants (and the shoes I’ve been living in all summer), a cookbook idea and question, and a few other things!
Love your guts. Thanks for being here. And don’t leave me alone in the comments! I want to hear about YOU and how you are doing.
Definitely want to know about pants and shoes! Very quiet here in northeastern NC!
I’ll share soon!
Love a Friday Thought post! So nice to hear from you, Mel! We are knee-deep scrapping with our public school over their reopening plan. I think we are keeping our kids (6th and 8th grade) home- either using the school’s remote option, or homeschooling if that proves too dreadful. It’s heartbreaking for my 8th grader who misses her friends.
Thank you for the book list- what a fantastic family project!
We have been making an effort to sprinkle plenty of milkshakes, sailing, pizza, Dutch Blitz, old school video games and Star Trek into our staycation summer. No trips this year, but I love the idea of RVing. I just sent a link to the Hiawatha Trail to a dear friend in Idaho- amazing!
Your pigs are darling! Not an issue with breeding pairs, but we know several people who have not been able to process pigs after naming them and treating them like pets. No doubt you are already on top of this, having had experience with cattle. We’ve been raising Hereford/Tamworth crosses for about 5 years (great bacon pigs) and very much subscribe to the “one bad day” school of animal husbandry.
I was so discouraged and mad when we came home from our last school board meeting that I cried. It’s a very disorienting time, with no end in sight, and lots of loose ends. It’s hard to see other people making what look to you like bad decisions. No doubt, they feel the same way. What helps me get a grip is to focus on some small, concrete thing that I CAN control, right in front of me. Whether that’s a clean bathroom or a batch of cookies, a short walk, or reorganizing our food storage, I can usually get some perspective back. And even if I still feel unsettled, at least the bathroom is clean. Unplugging is helpful too.
Thank you for all you do, Mel!
Good luck with the school drama, Rebecca. Sounds hard! We took Dutch Blitz in the RV, so yeah, we’ve been loving that game lately. And yes, you are so right. There is no way on earth we could eat these pigs that have become very beloved to us all. If we raise any of their offspring for meat, we are going to have to have an alternate plan for raising them (as in, offsite somewhere). My kids have never gotten attached to our beef cows, but these pigs are different. (And I love that philosophy of “one bad day” – I hope we are doing the same as we raise our animals humanely but also for a purpose.) Thank you for your advice and thoughts at the end. That’s a great coping skill – just focus on what we can control, even if it’s small. I know there are a lot of people (in schools and such) trying to make the best decisions they can…it’s just hard when it affects others around them. I’ve been so frustrated with our school board, too. Hang in there.
There is no place like Montana. You are headed to a great state but watch out locals are not loving the out of staters and possible Covid spreaders lately! We go back to school in hybrid style. Not sure how this is going to work for us as we are and have to be a two working parents household. Half the kids go Mon and Wed and half go Tue and Thurs and no school on Friday. Distance learning in the off days. Those pigs are darling, we have about everything except pigs, wonder if my family will let me get some pigs.. . Safe Travels!
Everyone was pretty nice although we stayed pretty close to the outdoors/mountains/lots of social distancing. We didn’t do the restaurant or entertainment scenes other than finding a loaf of bread occasionally in a grocery store. Hahah. I’ve wondered how two-working parents are managing the hybrid home/in-person school thing. Are your jobs flexible enough for you to alternate working from home those days or will you have to find childcare?
Lived the boys in the boat! We start virtual school next week. Still in denial a bit about that. Really love your sun hat! Can you share where you got it?
It’s this one: https://www.coolibar.com/women-s-tempe-sun-hat-upf-50.html
I wear it literally every day. I love it.
Hi! Where did you get your cute sun hat? I love it!
It’s from Coolibar!
Here’s the link: https://www.coolibar.com/women-s-tempe-sun-hat-upf-50.html
Are you working on a cookbook?! My binder of all your recipes would make a great published book! I’m with you on the anxiety. I’m normally pretty calm but this has been hard. I work from home so I’m not sure why. The monotony of everyday being the same, the kids being stressed, the husband working from home… I’ve been meditating, it helps. And not exercising nearly enough which would also help. I love what your family is doing for the libraries. You’re just the whole package.
I’ve actually started meditating, too. And although it’s hard for me to relax, I agree, that it’s helped (thanks to a meditating app). I don’t think you are off for thinking this all is hard. I agree that the monotony (even for someone like me that likes a schedule and a plan) is a killer.
That honestly sounds exactly like a trip I’ve been wanting to do with my family! I’d love it if you’d be willing to share your itinerary!
Hey Mandy! I posted a few quick instagram stories over on @melskitchencafe about it, but we really kind of just flew by the seat of our pants. As we were driving out of town our friends called and said they had extra days at Redfish Lake and asked if we wanted them so we headed up there for three days, then drove up through Cour d’Alene and did the Hiawatha trail. We wanted to head over to Glacier Natl Park but half of it is closed right now so we’ll probably do that another time!
This is my first time commenting and for that I apologize. lol I have been using your recipes for quite some time now and I must say they are the BEST!!
I, too, am feeling the anxiety of back to school and what that really entails. Our school was supposed to start Aug. 20, but last night the school board pushed it back to Sept. 10. My type-A personality that likes things to be organized has been stretched thin from March til now and I had my hopes pinned on that Aug. 20th date. Is the universe telling me, again, to calm the hell down and take things as they come? Or should I enroll in an online school so I at least know what the school year will look like? That’s what’s going on in my head right now. Ugh. Best of luck to us all!
Um, Rachel. Hi. Nice to meet you. We are living IDENTICAL school district lives. Ours just got pushed back to Sept 8 and now I’m in the camp of “what do I do now??” Good luck figuring out the best decision for you and your kiddos! I’m digging REALLY deep to just enjoy these next few weeks (haha, I’m kind of giggling as I type that out, but it’s a nervous giggle) and go to the frame of mind that “it will all work out.” Right? Right.
Hi Mel,
I’m glad to hear of your recovery from your surgery and can enjoy food once again. Did you lose weight, just wondering. Oh and I love your pigs, but then I love all animals.
I am retired and feel kind of guilty saying that I enjoy being home. I keep very busy with my small garden, cooking, and baking. Plenty of family and friends to share with.
However, my biggest worry is my daughter and her family in Texas, but I do find solace in God and prayer.
Take care and may God bless you and your family.
Don’t feel guilty about that at all, Perla! I honestly love when people can appreciate and love their circumstances – no use in comparing it to anyone else, right? You are amazing for enjoying where you’re at and staying busy. I hope your daughter and her family stay well! (Yes, I did lose a bit of weight during gum surgery recovery but lost no time in gaining it all back, haha)
Since this is therapy I had a couple of days a few weeks ago where I was maybe depressed. Maybe partially hormone induced, but I was in a dark, weird place and didn’t know what to do. I don’t know what triggered it and I pulled out of it quickly, but as a fellow introvert, this post not only resonated with me, but gave me some insight. Thank you for being a virtual friend and sharing yourself to help us. Maybe I need to insist on my walk/slow jogs sometimes being alone and not always have a buddy, just for self care. Love my people, but gotta love myself too.
Ah, thank YOU for sharing, Shannon. Really. I feel like the silver lining of these challenging few months is realizing I’m not alone. I’m glad you were able to pull yourself out of that scary spot. Recognizing it is super helpful (especially for the future)…you are so right we have to love ourselves, too, and sometimes that means taking time to ourself.
Love the pics especially the lake with the forest behind. Would love to see a post on your bucket list. Have enjoyed reading about your travels. We have a bucket list too.
I love hearing other people’s bucket lists as well!
I second another commenter with “The Boys In the Boat.” It was slow, with a lot of detail and we just couldn’t get through it. As for your RV adventures, we too went on a 5-week RV trip. We bought an RV in March with plans to sell everything and go full-time in the summer. But, once Covid changed everything to online we decided to leave right away and drove 9,000 miles, visiting 25 states. We also have five kids (4 boys and 1 girl, ages 13-18). We ended the trip because my oldest started online MTC. We have since sold the RV and our house and are enjoying a simpler life. Good luck with everything and enjoy the time with your family. (We also used to live in MN so I think we have a lot in common).
A 5-week trip! 9,000 miles! 5 kids! So fun! And so crazy! And so much work! But seriously, so fun. I’m envious of your phasing into a simple life. That’s amazing.
If anyone has to have that gum surgery you j just suffered through, they might ask the surgeon if she could use donor skin instead of scraping it off the roof of your mouth. A dead friend had it done both ways and highly recommends the donor skin. Roof of the mouth was sooo much more painful than the gums, she said. Just a thought……
I’m thinking you probably mean “dear” friend but correct me if I’m wrong. 🙂 I have heard cadaver/donor tissue makes for a quicker recovery. Unfortunately I wasn’t eligible for that (or at least the perio recommended against it based on some issues) but I totally believe it’s a great option if you can do it!
What timing! I just got the gum graft surgery on the left side of my mouth yesterday and am in a complete depression about the food. I have eaten yogurt and smashed avocado today but it’s just not the same without the crunchy piece of toast to go with it!!! I hope mine heals much quicker than yours. That’s a LONG time!!!!
You’ve got this, Karen! I should have been a bit more positive in my post. Honestly, looking back, it doesn’t seem so long, but going through it was a little bit rough. Did you have the incision on the top of your mouth? If not, you’ll heal a lot faster! I was definitely not eating anything semi-solid like yogurt on day 2 so you’re already ahead of me!
Hi there!! It’s been a little rough with my boys home but I do love it!! They are 11 and 14. Screen time is a constant battle and added mom guilt when I have to be in my computer a lot if the day. I work from home. I’m blessed to have a job and a wonderful home to be “stuck” in. I just need to get some more family time in so that our faces don’t shrivel up in front of a screen.
Thank you fir your post! Great photos!
Mom guilt, be gone! Sounds like we’re all trying to do our best. Hang in there with the working from home scene! That’s a balancing act for sure!
We also did an RV trip with Thor this past week. I have been very reluctant and my husband has tried to convince me for years to go. Well, we finally did it! The kids absolutely loved it and it was great to spend time off grid and in nature. We did a Yellowstone and Mount Rushmore loop. I’m still trying to walk straight and I’m so thankful for real bathrooms but I have to admit that I loved it too. I need some cooking motivation. After 21+ years of cooking dinner nearly every night I have hit a wall. I am ready to revolt! Do you have any tips for scheduling a dinner rotation with the kids & husband? I am a working mom and everyone has after school activities. Help! I tried your lemon chicken on the flatbread and we all loved it. I love the posts about the pigs.
Oh yay! So fun you just did the same thing!! Haha, I hear you on getting back to ground level and walking a little wonky (and barely fitting in the bathroom!). For dinner rotation, what’s worked best for us this summer is a straightforward assigning every person a dinner night. Sunday night we sit down and plan the menu so we’re all on the same page (i.e. the 8-year old may WANT pot roast and potatoes and homemade rolls but there’s no way she’s executing that by herself, so weeknight spaghetti it is) and then someone does the grocery shopping (ok, that’s usually me but you could assign it out) and the expectation is that dinner is ready and on the table at a certain time. I have younger kids so I help the two youngest, but the three older kids get it done by themselves. Oh, and they have to clean up, too.
Sounds like you have your priorities straight! Families are forever!!! As for us two old folks, we are remodeling our backyard.
Woohoo! Sounds like fun. 🙂
Four of my kids are back in school; two more will start next week (thanks to our district’s last-minute change with middle school going hybrid). Yesterday was the first day and I was a mess after kissing my babies goodbye over their masks. Part of me feels like I could be sending them off to die, part of me is SO grateful to have just two hours a day somewhat-ish to myself (kids are on alternating in-person/virtual days so someone is always home but it’s less someones). So so much guilt and anxiety wrapped up in this, and I already H A T E driving them to/from school (which took 42 minutes one way this afternoon…we live 1.3 miles from their school). Every choice feels like Russian roulette.
I’m so glad you are doing the RV trip! We spent two weeks earlier this summer camping in Wyoming and Montana (we live in Indiana and it was a loooong drive but I would do it again in a heartbeat!) and it literally saved my sanity.
Currently looking at real estate nonstop because I can’t take another summer of living next door to the neighborhood pool and watching the complete flouting of CDC guidelines while my kids look sadly at everyone else splashing.
Gah. Rachael. I’m sorry. And I totally hear you. Every choice and decisions and feeling is like a hundred different emotions wrapped up into one stick of dynamite. I don’t know how I feel half the time and it’s hard to know if what I’m choosing is the “right” choice. What a drive from Indiana to Montana/WY – but what fun! The mountains bring me a lot of solace. Ugh to the neighborhood pool issues – there’s so much discrepancy, it’s hard to understand. Like, in my area all the neighborhood pools are open as well as the huge water park in the big city down the road (and amusement parks are opening back up nationwide) – and yet, schools can’t open? I mean, I’m not making a statement either way…it’s just odd and I don’t get it. And that would be hard to live right there by a neighborhood pool and have to manage expectations and emotions of kids about it. Hang in there.
What is the cookie recipe in the first picture?
It’ll go up Monday! Peanut butter sugar cookie with chocolate frosting.
Great post, as always. What cookie is on the top of the page? If you identified it or linked to it… I missed it. Thanks!
I’m posting it Monday! It’s a peanut butter sugar cookie with chocolate frosting. In other words, it’s amazing.
Love the post! You look smashing and really, isn’t that half the battle? Life by a lake is all we need.
I have been purveying ripe peaches and love this crisp (made with peaches and a few raspberries). It is the best crisp I’ve ever made. I also made an apricot raspberry version that was tops. I highly recommend. It must be the egg that takes it over the top and crisps the crisp. https://cupofjo.com/2019/09/best-apple-crisp-easy/
I’ve also been sewing (piecing quilts) with abandon and writing my favorite recipes on cards and laminating them (though most of my recipes are digital or in notebooks). I think it’s fun to still have handwriting. I find I need to do things with my hands. There is a body-spirit connection it seems. A box like this: https://www.posiegetscozy.com/2012/02/recipe-box.html?cid=6a00d8345196d169e20168e6fbd584970c#comment-6a00d8345196d169e20168e6fbd584970c
Your family looks wonderful. Isn’t that the best!? Take care!
Before signing off, you should know we’ve made your Cheddar Jalapeño Turkey Burgers about 3 times now since I saw your repost. My husband (a proud beef eater) LOVES them!
Karen! That crisp sounds AMAZING. I have two boxes of peaches coming my way soon and a few raspberries on my pathetic raspberry plants. I’ll be making it. Thank you! I love your quilting and handwritten recipe hobbies! Love them so much. And I think you are spot on with the body/spirit connection (that recipe box filled with handwritten recipes is so fantastic). Also, I LOVE that your husband has embraced those turkey burgers. Yay!
Mel, we may be related. I also had that gum surgery about 20 years ago, and fear I need it again. I have been blaming Covid for my procrastination in making a dental appointment. We have large families; I have 2 adult sons, but 7 siblings. Fun! I understand your reluctance about school. I enjoyed teaching for 33 years, but have never been so happy to be retired as I am now. Good luck with that. Anxiety? Don’t get me started. What works for me? I am currently sitting on the deck in the shade, looking at the sun glistening on the lake, and listening to a squirrel trying to drown out a lawnmower. Stay safe, enjoy the outdoors and savour the everyday blessings.
Ah, thanks for the comment, Gloria! I’ll consider us soul sisters since we sound so similar in so many respects! I’m loving your alone time in the shade (and giggled about the squirrel drowning out the lawnmower…hahaha).
Oh my gosh, your comment about a detailed spreadsheet had me cackling! I hear you loud and clear on that! I’m such an organizer and this everything up in the air junk is seriously killing me. I have to take deep breaths and remind myself that this won’t last forever. (Right? Please? PLEASE!?). And I’m super envious of your huckleberry spot. My family used to have reunions in Oregon and huckleberrying was one of the highlights, but it’s been years. I’ll have to get back up there soon. Milkshakes sound awesome but they make the most divine pies as well!
Ha. Take some deep breaths for me, too. Maybe I’ll venture out and make a huckleberry pie this year. If it’s going to happen, it’ll be this year, since my mental cracks are starting to show. Haha.
Those pigs look adorable! Me? My introverted self has taken to meditative weeding. Sit in the shade and work on a spot, enjoy the outdoors, and let my mind wander.
Love that, Michele.
Oh and my coping strategies have really been to read scriptures, conference talks, stay away from social media and a lot of news, take long baths with bath bombs and Epsom salts, and bake and cook A LOT. The last one prob hasn’t helped my waistline so much, but my family loves it! Haha. I have also started gardening. This has been my few minutes in the morning and evening of “me time” where I can just hang out with my plants and have some quiet. I never would have guessed I would be gardening, but nothing about the last few months has been something I guessed would ever happen, so…
I love that you’ve started gardening, Rachel! What a fantastic hobby to pick up right now as it provides some much needed outdoor therapy.
School starts next week for us. I go back and forth between being excited for everyone to be gone during the day and being able to get things done, and being sad that maybe we didn’t do enough this summer and I’m not going to be motivated to do anything when my kids are in school.
Haha, you sum up my feelings every year at the end of summer. So are your kids able to go back in-person full-time?
I love the idea of renting an RV and traveling! Maybe next year. Things stre still so weird. I want to be able to see people’s faces and give them a hug. But… maybe next year. Mentally
I feel like I’m losing it sometimes, the kids need to go to school for a bit. But all in all, we’re well. The kids are starting here the week after next with hybrid learning, they’ll go twice a week. We’ll see how that goes.
Good luck with all of that, Cathy! I keep hoping “maybe next year” too but then realize that I probably just need to bloom where I’m planted, dang it.
Thank you for being so real! I love reading your posts and your blog is my recipe go-to.. This has been quite an…adventure. It’s been a rough few months and we are doing our best to survive. I have a couple of kids doing full-time homeschool and one doing BYU online high school/homeschool, another doing hybrid high school, and another doing hybrid middle school where she goes two days and is at home doing “online learning” three days a week. It’s going to be interesting, to say the least. Cheers to chips in sandwiches btw. The salt and vinegar chips are my favorite too!
Oh boy, Rachel, I could hardly keep all those details/schedules straight. Good luck! And also, maybe chips in sandwiches is the next new best coping skill? Yes, I think so. 🙂
You are amazing! I wish I was more diverse like you. I also love my husband and kids. But this spring was rough for me. I complained a lot until my husband pointed out all of the blessings we have received.: he still had a job and was busy, our kids all had jobs, we got to spend more time with our adult kids we wouldn’t normally get including a 4 month intermission with our son during his mission.. We have been so blessed and really have nothing to complain about!! Life really is good!
I’ve given up all social media (except my son’s missionary videos on Facebook.). Avoid most news stories. Read a lot of books, scriptures, and conference talks. Take walks in the early morning with friends or by myself. I bake a lot and share my food carefully with friends and neighbors because if my family ate everything I made we would be huge. AND I drink A LOT of Diet Dr. Pepper!. These are my best coping devices.
Thank you so much for being real and sharing with us. Also thank you for all of the delicious recipes. You are always my go to girl! Good luck this fall.
You’re right Becky – I need to take more of a pause and recognize the good and the blessings all around me! It’s easy to get caught up in the stress of it all. Love all of your coping skills! You’re amazing. XO
I just love your Friday thoughts. And that picture of your family on your bikes needs to be enlarged and on your wall. Love it! That’s on our bucket list. We miss you and your recipes when you’re taking a break – but so glad you get to reboot and recharge. We want to hear about the pants and shoes and all your favorite things, because you never let us down. Thanks for sharing. Your farm account on Instagram is one of my favorites to follow. Keep on sharing 🙂
You are so sweet Jill. Thank you! Hiawatha was so fun; I hope we can do it every year (that’s a dream…ok, maybe every other year!).
Lots of great thoughts! I had forgotten about your surgery. My oldest son has to have a gum graft surgery in September, but I’m worried that it’s only a few weeks before he starts MTC training (Eeek by itself!)
I know lots of people around here that pick huckleberries, in their own secret locations, but it’s a good 2-3 hours drive, and I wonder if it’s worth it.
We’ve thought about renting an RV, but fitting 8 people in one is proving difficult, without a huge expense, and I’m finding it’s not like renting a car, they limit you to 100 miles of travel a day or there is a surcharge 🙁
As for school, my kids are starting distance learning in less than 2 weeks. I have 3 kids in school (11th, 6th and 2nd) and 2 little ones that I will have to corral while the others do their classes. My oldest starts MTC training at the end of September so he will also be in virtual meetings all day for 2 1/2 weeks. I really hope the teachers are able to do the jobs they want to do, and that my kids will be physically going to school at some point during this school year.
Unfortunately my coping skills include hiding in the pantry with chocolate, or hiding in the bathroom while browsing in internet on my phone.
However we have also played lots of games, done lots of puzzles, made lots of goodies, gone swimming (we have a backyard pool), and played outside when the weather was bearable. My husband and I have tried to have date nights which mostly consist of grabbing some take-out and watching a movie after the little kids are in bed, and making the older kids stay upstairs until bedtime.
Emma, I can assure you that a 2-hour drive to pick huckleberries is most definitely worth it! Haha. Ok, I’m a little bit obsessed, but I have a friend who drive 9 hours every year so I feel ok about my 2 1/2 hour drive. Yes, that is true about the RV. I’m not sure it necessarily saved us any money (like, if I counted up the cost of staying in a hotel) but the convenience of all driving together like that was pretty fun. Ours slept 10 and it was about $200 a night (but we did go over on mileage so for a week, we’ll end up probably another $100 in overage for miles). Definitely a vacation to plan for since it’s not cheap! Oh man, bless you for venturing into the online schooling PLUS littles PLUS home MTC. Get yerself a good supply of chocolate, my friend. You can do this!
Wait! You’re going to leave us hanging on shoes and pants?!? Your recommendations are always spot on for me, and I’m going to be impatient until I get the updates.
From one introvert to another, good luck with the family time! We’re homeschooling this year and can I admit I sometimes miss sending my kids away?
Haha, I promise to do another Friday Thoughts post SOON and it will be dedicated to all the things that don’t matter but are super fun to talk about. Haha!
MEL!!! I’ve missed you !
First, I LOVE your shorter hair ! You rock it !!! Love it!
My husband and I have been relaxing watching
some. awesome TV.
We’ve recently fallen in love with orthodox and modern orthodox Jewish shows. ( yes, I can now speak some Yiddish ). Our favorites are Shtisel and Srugim.
I have just finished a wonderful feel good, warm hugs all around ( even if some of the book is about a Doctors experience counseling. cancer patients). Trust me, it’s beautiful and uplifting and wise. It’s called My Grandfather’s Blessings by Rachel Naomi Remen, MD
And I LOVED Boys in the Boat ! Great book. And for such a long time I thought rowing was an easy sport.
Haha
Good to hear from you and I’m so glad you finally healed from gum surgery! Does NOT sound like fun !
Thanks for sharing your thought Mel!
Linda T.
Loved your comment. Thanks for chiming in, Linda! Maybe I need some Jewish television in my life?? I’m going to check those recommendations out (as well as the book!).
P.S. I think I recommended this book before but just in case, I LOVED A Gentleman in Moscow ! LOVED IT.
And I loved The Glass Castle ( memoir by Jeanette Wells). It demonstrates just how resilient we all are!
And the Gentleman in Moscow is a novel but it’s about a man can’t leave a hotel for the rest of his life and the relationships he develops while there. So good.
NOT AT ALL TEMPTED to rent an R.V no matter how fun you make it sound. But my husband is very sad about that because he IS an RV type of guy!
Oh man! You are definitely in my head. The last 6 months or so have been unbelievably hard (internally and just overall) mostly because I can never just get a minute to be ALONE or catch up on sleep (2 teenagers, bed at midnight and 2 littles who wake with the sun). I feel every word of this! I realized too that I am short of good coping skills so desperately needed. Friends, walking at night, a good show to watch and a good book to read are my saving graces. But every day is still a struggle. Bless us all to survive. ❤️
Yes, bless us all, Chelsea. 🙂 I think it’s great that you know what you need to fill up your cup (sometimes it’s hard even identifying those things) – now the trick is to work it into an already hectic, sleep-deprived day. Hang in there!
P.S. That surgery sounds terrible and I hope you had good friends around to love on you. If I were closer I would have brought you a meal. Although it prob would have been one of your own recipes.
Haha. I would have loved every bite! (As long as I could have pureed it into mush)
Oh I loved this Friday thoughts!! I am not an introvert but it has been equally hard. Hello…people home all day. An RV sounds amazing. Every time I mention it to my husband he says “sounds like work”. I am still working on him. Your pigs are adorable!! I could definitely see them being therapeutic at the end of the day!!! Can not wait to hear about a cookbook?! Pants?! Shoes?! Yes! Do tell!! And don’t stress about limiting content. We are here for you and not going anywhere! Also, love the hair!!
Hey Renee! The RV is kind of a lot of work but in a fun way. And I don’t know, I loved it so much more than cramming in a car and staying in hotels or tent camping.
“As a verified introvert, I’ve been challenged big time since March. Listen, I love my kids and husband. They’re great. I want to live with them forever. And I genuinely would choose family time over just about anything else (as in, family night out over girls’ night out any day of the week). But all disclaimers aside, I am mentally rejuvenated when I have a degree of quiet alone time. And that has been noticeably absent the last little while especially since I’m in the parenting phase of early rising kids (who are too old to take naps) and late bedtime teenagers.”
This is exactly the words I was trying to get from my head/heart out my mouth yesterday when talking to my husband. Sometimes (daily) I have to go hide in my garden. I love them all so much yet I am dying from no personal space/time to refill my introverted bucket.
May the odds ever be in our favor as we struggle through this no-where-near-normal school year.
Thanks- from a fellow need a plan introvert of late teenagers, early rising youngers, mom of kids in 2 school districts that can’t make up their mind about starting dates
Thanks for chiming in, Suzanne! Seriously. It helps so much to hear from other women and moms feeling the same way. Makes me not feel like I’m totally crazy for feeling this way. I’m glad you have your garden as a getaway. Hang in there! We can do this.
I’ve had that surgery twice and it’s awful. The only thing worse is the recovery and childbirth with a useless epidural!
Love chips in my sandwiches.
I loved the book The Boys in the Boat. So, so good. A great lesson of it’s more about attitude, perseverance and working hard than your circumstances.
I was just telling my husband that I want to rent an RV for a vacation. Sounds fun!
These last few months have been filled with lots of love, a new baby, sleep deprivation, fun, fear and sadness for the state of the world and more specifically our country. There is so much hate that it does feel overwhelming. I’m trying to not let others get me down and usually that means avoiding social media. So many opinions on race, politics, covid, face masks, school, etc etc. The best thing I can do is be kind and respectful and teach that to my children through example.
Your last line is everything, Jill! I agree with that completely and need to try harder, for sure. The RV has been so fun. I think you should do it for sure! 🙂
I’m with you on Googling anxiety attacks…fortunately it’s been a while for me (mid-July). Escaping to a quiet beach for a week helped. We are back into school and work and it all feels very fragile. I cried dropping my kids off at high school. Seeing all the masks, teachers, admin, it was all just too much. Pictures of your little pigs bring great joy. Looks like you are on the best adventure even though there’s been plenty of quality time…a change in scenery will do a person good. Enjoy!
Fragile is such an interesting and good way to describe how I think I’m feeling, too. I just keep wondering if we’ll ever get back to what life was like pre-covid, or is this all the new normal? I’m digging deep for that resilience to accept whatever it might be.
Good luck with The Boys in the Boat. I love World War Two books but I just couldn’t get through that one. I tried so hard. The author just gives SO. MUCH. unnecessary detail that it takes forever just to get to the good parts of the book.
I don’t know if someone has already said this but we read a school version of The Boys in the Boat and I really enjoyed it. You get the story without all of the historical detail.
I agree. I ended up reading the easy reader version for book club and it was still pretty dull
Interesting, Krista! My husband just listened to it so I’ll have to ask him what he thought but that’s good info from Melissa and Christie, too!
There is a young readers version (of Boys in the Boat) that hits the high points and is easier to get through. I had my done read it one summer.
Oh how funny…I absolutely loved it! ❤️
I agree with this, it is a very slow moving book but the story is so worth the read (or listen) in my opinion.
Did you try the audiobook? My family all LOVED that one from my 13 year old son to my 66 year old dad. I thought Mel was the one who recommended it to me a few years ago
I felt the same way about Boys In the Boat! But I slugged through (a rarity for me if I’m not captivated by a book) and I will say I am glad I finished. I did end up liking it. But it is a little slower than books in the “great” category.
There is a younger readers version of the book that you should try. Still gives lots of detail, but not quite as much
I couldn’t finish it either! But I have that problem with lots of big books. 🙂
I read the YA version of Boys in the Boat and it was excellent! All the good stuff but without all the unnecessary details. (I had tried and failed to get through the adult version too!)
I loved Boys in the Boat, but I taught high school history so all the details were ok with me. I also audibled it and listened while walking every day. The reminder, MIB, was very important, and I carry that message daily, especially now. Mind In Boat, focus only on the task at hand and clear your mind of all the noise around you.
Anyway, I love this blog and catching up with an amazing and normal family.
I am teaching my 8 and 10 year old grandchildren so with fear and trepidation concerning fifth grade math, I carry on
Signed,
An extroverted introvert…who knew?
Thanks for sharing all that Mel! My husband and I and our two boys are all introverts. Solitude works itself out, even with my husband wkg from our dining room. I meet on FaceTime or Zoom with two friend groups every week. I’ve got my sweet dogs and cat for instant emotional support. My youngest started 8th grade 100% online in July and it’s going well. Not ideal, but well. And staff and kids are safe. Our school and school district absolutely rock! We got away on two short similar trips. Not the plan but wonderful anyway. Turns out kayaking is inherently a socially distant activity! We’re making lemonade as best we can. I practice a spiritual program that helps me not get sucked in too deeply by my anxiety. The future is *always* uncertain and sometimes things really have to break badly before there exists sufficient strength and determination to change it. Thank you again for your post. I wish you and your family all the best.
Interesting to hear your comment. It is one of my most favoritest books. Maybe because I live in the PNW so it felt close to home.
We lived in Couer d’Alene for three years and I still
Think of it as one of the best places on earth. I love it so much. My kids started school last week but it’s virtual. There are still no definite plans for when we get to go back in person and it’s not looking very promising right now. I too love having my kids home. I consider the last six months to be a blessing. However, I am definitely feeling like it’s been a very long time since I had a modicum of alone time. Thanks for this post. It was fun to see what’s been going on in your life. I hope you can continue to find peace. I need to take a page from your book and do some disconnecting!
Wow, Heather, I can’t imagine living somewhere so beautiful! I’m glad I’m not the only mom who is feeling kind of the same way. Good luck to you this school year. Sounds like we are in very similar boats.
I love this, Mel! You are such a wonderful wife and mom and I love that you put your family first. The world would be a much happier and better place if everyone disconnected and did that.
And yes, quality over quantity
I am dying to visit Cour d’Alene! Sounds spectacular!!!
Oh trust me, I’m not as wonderful as I sound. Haha. I’m rather selfish with my time, and writing out this post, it’s clear I have to intentionally make those priorities the top ones or else I’d hide in my room alone all day! I hope you can get to Cour d’Alene some day. It honestly is one of the most breathtakingly beautiful places I’ve ever been.
I can’t wait to hear about your favorite pants and shoes. . . I’ve read Boys in the Boat and loved it. I’ll have to listen to the other two you mentioned. I’m feeling excited and nervous for school to start. I wish my kids weren’t so old because I feel like this hybrid school schedule is harder on them than my younger ones. And my high school senior is already mourning so many losses. Ugh!
I keep dreaming that my house will one day get clean, and I’m ready to do some dejunking but worry it won’t get done with kids home 3 of the 5 school days.
We just bought a tent trailer and are headed to Yellowstone for Labor Day. But I’m totally adding Redfish lake, Cour D’ Alene, and the Hiawatha Trail to our list of places to go!
High school seniors last year and this year have had it tough!! I’m dreaming for the same clean house, if it makes you feel better. Haha. But I’m realizing I better push all that off until 2025 or else I’ll just be disappointed. Have fun on your Labor Day trip!!
Thanks for sharing! I have been a hot mess dealing with my husband’s lost job, wondering what to do about school, a ridiculous lawsuit, world turned upside down concerning organized religion and spirituality, being seriously scared for our country and its most vulnerable people, and not making healthier choices for my mind and body. It’s helped me to admit and say that it’s okay to lie in bed and cry and recognize that I’m not totally okay. Love your website and recipes and you! Thanks for opening up the non-food parts of your life to us!
Oh, Carm, I’m so sorry to hear about so.much.chaos and pain in your personal life. Hard, hard, hard. But what you said is SO true. I’ve given myself the same permission: it’s ok to grieve. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to feel like this is hard. It’s ok to admit that we’re cracking a little bit. I feel like that’s what I’ve been missing (and why I tend to want to disconnect from the online world even more) – I need more people in my life willing to show the cracks and the stains and not just the picture perfect stuff. I know I don’t know you in real life, but you are in my prayers FOR SURE. Take one day at a time.
I teared up at your sweet, hopeful response. And I smiled thinking how nice it is that I felt comfortable using your comments section as a personal diary entry. You’re amazing and the fact that you took the time to so thoughtfully respond means more than you could know.
I have to know what that cookie is in one of the first pictures! It is making me hungry I am the same way with needing quiet, alone time to recharge and rejuvenate. Life is hard right now with my husband and kids home all day every day since March and same… they stay up late and wake up early and don’t take naps so I feel like I’m going crazy!
Hey Torri! I’m posting that one on monday! It’s a peanut butter sugar cookie (no rolling or cutting out!) with chocolate frosting. It’s unbelievably good!
Just have to say, this? This is the most truthful statement in all the world.
“A Detailed Future Plan to Write Firmly in a Spreadsheet and Follow Daily.”
Me. I need this. Having nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that I can write down and follow? It’s the most unsettling feeling I’ve ever had. And I’m not built for this !!
Unsettling is the most accurate way to describe it. I’m not built for it either (insert crying emoji). But we’ve got this. Because we are capable and strong and we can learn to be flexible. Right? Right??? 🙂
Well I could never leave because – all the recipes! But now I can’t wait for the pants, shoes, and cookbook idea!
XOXO 🙂 Thanks, Carla!
Boys in the Boat is the best! It’s so inspiring how hard those boys worked for a college education!
Hey! Not sure what happened to my previous comment, but I’d love to know where you bought your sun hat!
I’m so happy you can get away for a while! We left for a weekend of camping and hiking last week and after we got home I was kicking myself that we didn’t spend more time disconnected from “real life” this summer. My anxiety level went WAY down and my kids were so happy.
I TOTALLY agree with this, Jamie! I wish we would have done the escaping to the mountains thing a bit more this summer, too.
Edited to say: problem is, EVERYONE is doing the same thing. Haha. It’s been pretty crowded everywhere we’ve gone, and we’ve gone to some rather remote places on this RV excursion.
Also I make your French Bread Rolls all the time still! Love them!
Trying to get organized for this upcoming school year from home. 2 of our kids are starting digital and 2 we have pulled to homeschool. Getting the ducks in a row is a lot! My work hours change in 2.5 weeks which have me arriving an hour earlier, so that’s going to take some adjustments, too. So glad to hear from you.
Erin! You have so much on your plate. And you’re right, it’s just a lot to get set up for and manage. Good luck!
Your trip sounds wonderful! I can relate on the anxiety front and I don’t have kids and do have a good job where I can work from home. So many good audiobooks out there! Some of my recent favorites are Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell, Nothing to see Here by Kevin Wilson and Tomorrow will be different by SarahMcBride.
Thank you for the audiobook recommendations, Lesley!
Love the update! Fully support your unplugging as often as you need to! We’ll still be here for your go-to recipes!
I’m one week into homeschooling my kids and I think it will be one of the hardest things I ever do…whether it’s one year or more. 🙂
Oh man, hang in there, Emily! We homeschooled for five months a couple years ago, and it definitely was one of the hardest things I’ve done (but also super rewarding).