Friday Thoughts
1) Food Thought: I mentioned this on Instagram a few weeks ago, but I recently got Invisalign (i.e. removable braces). It’s been a little painful (they’re ripping up my mouth more than I thought) and kind of weird, but not all bad – it should be fairly short term since the changes needed are relatively minor. Mostly it’s been enlightening to see how much random eating I did before getting these bad boys (and a too-late reminder that if only I had worn my retainers as a teenager…). The Invisalign trays are removable and they have to be removed every time I eat. Then the trays are brushed and cleaned with warm, soapy water, and my little teethy teeth have to be flossed and brushed before the trays go back in.
Maybe I’m lazy (this is a very high possibility), but I’m realizing that as much as I love food, it just isn’t worth taking out the trays unless I am really, really tempted (or really, really hungry) during the day. So basically, my life is now measured in terms of “is this food worth taking out Invisalign for?” Surprisingly, even brownies don’t make the cut some days (the thought of all that brushing and flossing, both internally and externally is just.too.much). But don’t worry, when they DO come out, I’m all about making up for lost time. (FYI: for locals, this is my orthodontist; Dr. Short is awesome)
2) Exercise Thought: I gave a quick peek into my current exercise routine last month, but things have changed a bit. Here’s an update for those that are also every day moms working/struggling/irritated about finding a good exercise-life balance. I ended my Crossfit membership (lots of reasons but partly due saving money AND because Brian needed shoulder surgery which means he’s out of Crossfit commission for a while, and since we’ve committed to exercising together for motivation – or in other words, so we are accountable to each other and we don’t sleep through our alarms – we ended our membership together). Since breaking up with Crossfit, I’ve been exclusively doing the BBG Stronger program (I purchased the Sweat app and access the workouts there; so far it’s been worth every penny). Brian’s been doing it, too (modifying for his hurt shoulder), albeit slightly begrudgingly, because he hates working out in our low-ceilinged bonus room, but he loves me, so he powers through it. 🙂
I love this program more than I thought – it’s been soooo overhyped and promoted on social media that I wasn’t sure it would live up to all the paid and unpaid testimonials, but I have to say, it’s pretty awesome. Meaning, I’m reallllly sore and I sweat like crazy. I haven’t done the first BBG program because I read a lot of criticism about the lack of weights, but BBG Stronger has been super hard and super fulfilling for me so far (although I definitely don’t have a bikini body yet…or ever…haha). I wake up a whole hour later than my Crossfit stint (hallelujah!) – 5:30 a.m. – and try and do the resistance workouts on Mon/Wed/Fri and then run/jog/walk on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Because some of the exercises are written to use gym equipment that I don’t have, I have to modify here and there, but it’s been pretty easy to do a home version so far. I use Brian’s adjustable dumbbells (these are pricey; any dumbbells would work), this wood jump/step up box, a medicine ball, a moderately heavy kettlebell (for me! I’m no bodybuilder), and this exercise mat (affiliate links for all of the above). This program definitely requires more equipment than some at-home programs, but I had most of that stuff already in my little exercise corner of the playroom, so it’s worked out well. Our ceilings are too low for any jump roping so if that’s part of the daily exercise, I just hop around in place in a very graceful manner (ha!).
I’m already stressing about what I’ll do when the 24-week program is over (yes, I’m one of those people that stress about future events like this). Repeat it? Move on to something else? I don’t necessarily want to fall back into just doing exercise videos, because for me, personally, I don’t stay as motivated, so if you have any other good recommendations for programs/apps similar to BBG, I’d love to hear them!
3) Kid Thought: Randomly, I picked up a few latch hook kits that were on sale at Hobby Lobs the other day (the WonderArt brand), and a few of my kids are hooked (haha, pun intended!). It’s kind of hard to find crafts like this for boys that don’t involve purple unicorns and butterflies, so I was excited to see one with a soccer ball, another with a dog, and one with a tie-dye pattern. I used to do these things all the time when I was a kid (anyone else??) and had no idea they still made them. They do! And they are still fun, apparently! It’s been a great project for them to store away and work on when they are bored. I see a few more latch hooks (and lots of potential shaggy pillows??) in our future this summer.
4) Deep Thought: I’ve been thinking so much about life and motherhood lately. The questions of whether I’m doing enough, being present enough, nurturing enough. I know that motherhood can suck you dry (and break your heart) if you let it. And I’m realizing lately that this is not always a terrible thing. When I have been brought to my lowest points as a mom and felt completely broken and spent, I’ve been able to (later) see the miracle of how powerful the rebuilding process can be, and I almost always emerge stronger and more sure of who I am and who I want to become (as a woman and as a mom).
Lately, I’ve been focusing on how to disconnect from some of the emotion involved in parenting without disconnecting from my kids. This might sound kind of strange – I’m not saying that emotion is a negative asset in parenting, just that I need to learn to control it and not let it consume me. I find that often, I get so emotionally enmeshed in a particular situation with my kids, be it with the 5-year old or the 14-year old, that I lose sight of the end goal for that child (and for me). I’d like to think my intentions are good (I just want to help them grow up to be functional humans, dang it!!), but I also know that my inclination to become emotional, tendency to want to control, and desire to teach (which often is perceived as nagging) aren’t always the best tactics. And so I’m making a huge effort to stay calm and positive during power struggles and difficult parenting situations.
I’m working on it (and praying a lot about it), and Brian and I are figuring out ways to set clear, concise expectations and following up with equally clear, concise (positive or negative) consequences without letting the emotions take over and control the situation(s). I’ve mentioned it before but this short and simple book is one of my favorite parenting go-to’s (affiliate link), and I’ve dug it out time and time again over the last year or so (the examples are a little outdated, but it’s easy to extrapolate to today’s parenting). It’s hard to let kids and teenagers (!!) have independence and free agency/choice even within a framework of structured family boundaries…and sometimes even harder to let them deal with the good or bad fallout from those choices. I probably repeat the following line to myself at least 287 times a day: you cannot control this, you cannot control this. And then I hide in the pantry, rip out my Invisalign trays, and palm chocolate chips into my mouth.
Honestly, though, even with the ups and downs, motherhood is one of the most rewarding aspects of my life, and it’s my measuring stick for what else is worth my time (the question: “how will this impact my role as a mom?” is my first line of questioning anytime something comes up that demands my time or attention), because I truly feel that nothing else I do right now matters as much as my divine assignment as a mom to my kids.
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And…if you are wondering why I’m spewing thoughts that aren’t related to recipes, don’t worry, you are still in the right place (maybe??). This will always be a food blog, but I often feel so much more than a recipe-giver. Like, my brain is going to explode with all the other things I want to share. So…Friday thoughts. I think it might become a semi-regular thing. Read at your own risk.
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Check out kaisafit. I love her workouts! They’re definitely home gym appropriate. I love how much she smiles during her workout posts. She really makes working out look so fun!
Thanks, Annie!
Oh such good Friday thoughts! I hope this becomes a regular thing! I totally agree with the time demands and questioning is this worth it….how will it impact my family.
—-Topic change…lol…..Has the invisalign made you lose weight? My 14 yr old just started his invisalign (as in this week). He’s a very disciplined kid and we talked all about pros and cons of braces vs invisalign before he made his choice. But just after a few days he said he can see how it’s the best diet ever! He eats really healthy and goes to the gym with me every single morning before school, he is very trim and lean and does not need to lose weight. So I was just wondering if you had;) Any other invisalign tips I could tell him?
Hey Amanda! Great question on the Invisalign. Honestly, I SHOULD have lost more weight than I have because it really is the best forced self-control ever. I only eat breakfast, lunch and dinner – literally no snacking. My problem (keeping it real here) is that when I DO take them out, I am literally a ravenous animal and I can’t even imagine how many calories I’m consuming to make up for lost time. Having said that, even with my lack of mealtime self-control, I’ve still lost a couple pounds, and if I was even more disciplined, it could be a really awesome weight loss plan. I’ve heard from a lot of people they lost quite a bit of weight when they had Invisalign…and others who didn’t lose a bit. Sounds like your son doesn’t need to lose weight so hopefully he’ll eat enough to stay energetic and healthy! 🙂
Thanks Mel for taking the time to answer and chat:) I would be exactly like you and probably eat way to much at those 3 meal times! But hey…at least you’ve lost a few lbs;) I will defiantly be passing on all the invasalign info to him;) I am reading all the comments! Thanks for posting about this and putting your personal life out there;)
Oh my heck, I made latch hook rugs as a kid!! My grandma used to do so much latch hook that she kept her own supply of yarn in many boxes throughout her house. She literally made hundreds and hundreds of rugs. I can’t see latch hook without thinking of my grandma. I actually just saw those kits at a craft store on Thursday, and I had no idea they were still made either! I also thought my 9-yr old son might enjoy them (glad to hear your kids like them!). He begged me to teach him counted cross stitch this week (I cross stitched throughout my whole childhood/adolescence too), so I taught him and he’s almost finished making some mine craft gem thing. We did a million Perler bead projects (have your kids done those?) over the past few years, and that helped him a lot with the cross stitching. I’m not sure how long the cross stitching will last, but we will move on to latch hook, I’m sure. And plastic canvas — do they still make that? 🙂 Good memories.
Oh yes, perler beads on on nonstop here but I haven’t broken out the crosstitch yet, although I bet my kids would love it. They have also really loved knitting looms.
This post, your short thoughts on motherhood/parenting are JUST what I needed to read. Seriously, thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Kathleen. 🙂
Just what I needed today, both the exercise and the parenting topics! I love these posts, feel free to keep them coming!!
Thanks, Chantel!
Mel… you are not alone. All moms struggle through this either everyday or maybe every couple years. I’m just starting my motherhood phase with a 3 year old and 8 month old but I look to you and other moms with older kids as inspiration that life will get easier and manageable. I love everything about this post even the latch hooking which my sister and I loved as kids. Thank you for your Friday thoughts.. keep them coming!
Thank you, Lana! Every phase of motherhood has positives and tough stuff. I remember being a mom with toddlers and I hated it when other mothers would say things like “Oh, just wait, it gets SO much harder” and I kind of wanted to throat punch them. Like, don’t minimize the fact that I have the challenges of toddlers (or whatever phase!). Not that motherhood is ALL challenges…it’s so worth it, every minute, but hopefully you know what I mean. Anyway, enjoy those moments with those sweet young kiddos.
I have been using beach body for about 5 years now and 2 years ago the company finally made it really easy to access ALL! their workouts for a 1 time price for the whole year instead of paying that year over every month (I personally like paying it all up front instead of budgeting for it every month) Beachbodyondemand.com and then you sign up for the $100 year membership ($8 a month!) and you get every workout they have put out. They have an iPhone app, not sure about android yet I don’t have one so I haven’t looked into that, but the app is free which is nice since your paying for the membership.
Hopefully this helps you. Love your blog and have for years and years ❤️
Thanks, Katherine! I did that beach body on demand thingie a year or so ago and I agree, super handy to have all those workouts!
Love your Friday thoughts! Keep them up! Thank you for sharing!! Being a mom is the most wonderful thing, but also the hardest thing ever—especially with teenagers–I have 4!!! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….:) Keep up your good work. Be intentional and don’t be too hard on yourself! I love, love, love this quote from President Monson–I have it up in my kitchen “Sometimes you feel inadequate and ineffective because you can’t do all that you feel you should. Rather than continually dwelling on what still needs to be done, pause occasionally and reflect on all that you do and have done. The good you have done, the kind words you have spoken, the love you have shown others, can never be fully measured.”
Thank you Jen T for answering this Moms prayer. President Monson’s quote hit straight to my heart today. Thank you Mel for your amazing blog. I love it!
Oh gosh, Jen, that quote was EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. Printing it off asap. Thank you, thank you. And also, 4 teenagers (I kind of died when I read that).
Loved ALL of this, Mel! I love your recipes, too, but it’s nice to hear Mel’s Thoughts on life and your happenings. I totally get you on the parenting thing. I’m in a different stage (oldest is almost 4), but I have a lot of the same feelings already. So many things pulling at my time, energy, thoughts, etc; and yet I strive (sometimes unsuccessfully) to put motherhood and wifehood first. I will try to check out that book you recommended. Thanks for opening up and keeping it real. I’d love a regular Friday Thoughts segment. Life is Good 🙂
Thanks, sweet Ellen.
Glad I popped over to the blog to read this post! I loved latch hooking as a kid. What age are the kids doing it? My almost 7 year old got one of those pillow kits for Christmas with the million little squares of fabric you push into it and it’s a similar idea and she loved it!
It’s mostly my 8- and 10-year old and sometimes the 12-year old gets in on the action if he’s sure his friends won’t come to the door while he’s doing it. 🙂
Love it Mel. My 5 kids are about the same ages of yours and I feel the same way. It’s a constant worry about how to parent without smothering and give guidance without nagging. I love your words and feel like we would be such good friends if we lived in the same neighborhood!
Thank you, Wendi! I could use more real life friends. 🙂
Thanks for sharing. We just had some things come up this week in our parenting that made us go…”uhh…I have no idea what is going on here and how to do this!” So please share away. You are a couple years ahead of me in your parenting and I want to learn all your wisdom. 🙂
Haha, I’m not laughing AT you, just so happy I’m not the only one who has had that thought go through my head. Where is my user manual?? 🙂
This post makes me want to make your brownies more than ever. Because yes, motherhood (and exercise and Invisalign) is not for wimps. I might be in the same parenting-of-teenagers stage that you are in. I hear ya!
Solidarity, sister. Brownies are going to be my friend for the next couple years till everyone is through teenagedom. Who are we kidding? They’ve always been my friends. 🙂
Mel your blog is wonderful format for expressing your views about matters that are important to you. Because we trust you that the recipes you offer to us are good, healthy and tasty, we also trust that what you say is important and can help us if we choose to apply the principles. Thank you for your offerings in both food and thought.
Thank YOU, Pam!
Do you follow Ralphie on “simplyonpurpose” on instagram? A lot of what you were saying about parenting reminded me a lot of what she teaches. Her information has been SO helpful and influential in the way I am trying to parent. Check her out if you don’t already follow her, her insta stories are crazy helpful ❤️
Ralphie is one of my best friends and a gem of a person!
Thanks, Danica! You are one of many who have recommended that account. I actually realized I DO know who she is, but apparently I need to do better at actually reading/listening to what she has to say! 🙂
Love your thoughts. I’ve been listening to the Bold New Mom podcast and it has been life-changing. She’s LDS, too. https://boldnewmom.com/podcast/
One of the main things she teaches is about controlling our emotions by managing our brains. It’s super fascinating to me.
I love your recipes, your personality, your board game and gift guides; you have so much to offer us stay at home moms (and others). So keep the Friday thoughts coming!
That DOES sound fascinating. Thanks for the recommendation, Bonnie!
I love Daily Burn. It’s a subscription based streaming workout program and I love all the variety of workouts. I don’t have a lot of time and I do have a lot of little kiddos so being able to work out at home is key for me. I’ll have to try BBG Stronger if I get sick of Daily Burn though!
Thanks, Nicole! I tried the free trial of Daily Burn last year and really liked the workouts I did on there.
I love Friday thoughts. Keep them coming. I just have a toddler to parent right now, but I have learned sooo much from Dr. Laura Markham and her website http://www.ahaparenting.com. She also has a book that I plan to read. She has advice and articles for all ages, but my whole perspective on parenting has shifted and it’s made motherhood more joyful for me. It just makes sense to my spirit (if that makes sense). I’ll look into the book your recommended as well. I can use all the help I can get! 🙂
On a different note, keep the meatless meals coming! We’ve recently been eating more of a whole food plant-based (much less meat and dairy) diet at our house and love the results we’re feeling and seeing. I still come to your site when I do make meat dishes, but I LOVE when I get to make Mel’s tried and true plant based recipes too. Can’t wait to try the lentil soup you just posted!
Thanks for all you do, Mel! xoxo
Thanks for the website recommendation, Mady! I will look into it for sure. I’ll keep those meatless meals in mind, too. 🙂
Stay strong Mel. Do you and Brian ever have date nights? The wife always wants to spend time with me away from the kids. Overnight is best but not always possible. Think about spending some alone time. I know your kids mean the world to you, but remember you had a life (and more importantly) a relationship before them. If you worry too much you can’t enjoy being in the moment. You don’t need to “disconnect” from the emotion, acknowledge what you’re feeling (maybe share it with them or Brian), and understand that everything will be ok.
Thanks for the advice, David! A good reminder for us as a couple (we usually try to go on a date a couple times a month, but we can be more intentional about that!).
I did Invisalign a bit ago and I had the same experience with basically having to cut out all spontaneous snacking! Haha. It just wasn’t worth it for the hassle. But it was very eye opening and helped me realize how much I had been mindlessly eating. Also, now that I’m done, I’m happy to say it was worth every penny and I’m so grateful I did it. I’m also jotting down the names of these fitness programs in the comments, so thanks for that. I have done Jill K’s Fitblasts which I saw mentioned above. I have a bunch of months of those saved on my computer and revisit occasionally. I now subscribe to FitFusion which is Jillian Michael’s streaming service, like Netflix but for workout videos. It’s not going to be helpful if you are looking for a program to follow, but I love having such a huge variety of videos at my fingertips. I am interested in trying out a structured program again so I will have to look into BBG Stronger!
Thanks for the recommendations, Megan! And amen to the awareness of mindless eating. Kind of scary. 🙂
I love your willingness to step out there and share yourself more and look forward to the Friday thoughts. You are a good soul and I’m glad for having found your slice of the internet.
Thank you so much, Stacy!!
I love your Friday thoughts. I love the reminder to ask “How will this affect me as a mother?” Such a good barometer. I’ve noticed you are pinning a lot of gluten free recipes on Pinterest, are there likely to be gluten free recipes on the blog more? I recently had blood work done and food sensitivity/inflammation showed a lot of surprising things and gluten was one of them. Thanks for sharing great recipes and thoughts. Keep up the great work.
Hey Leigh – I do have a few gluten-free recipes up my sleeve, but probably won’t be posting them super regularly. Good luck with that journey of modifying your diet!
Loved this! So encouraging! My husband and I use a beach body power 90 dvd that is probably 20 years old but it gives awesome results. We use a yoga mat and resistance bands alternating sculpt and cardio daily. We have people ask us what we are using so we must be doing something right. with 3 smallish children I just can’t fathom driving to a gym and dealing with childcare. Not to mention the dvd was given to us so we are saving a fortune on exercise.
I’m going to look that book up at the library. My favorite all time parenting book is, Simplicity Parenting. I’m also enjoying Kevin Lemans Parenting a Powerful Child. It’s been really helpful. Thank you for the parenting words today. They were real and authentic!
P.s. I meant to say that I just got my Invisalign off this week. I wore for 1 1/2 and while preggo. It cut my mouth up something awful but my teeth look beautiful and I’m glad I put the hard work in. It was a pain constantly brushing and flossing so I laughed when you said decided whether it was worth it to eat a brownie. I did the same thing and didn’t drink coffee at church on sundays bc it wasn’t worth it to remove them. Best of luck!
Thanks for giving me hope, Laura! I know it will be worth it, but I appreciate your words. And thanks for the book tips (and way to go on being diligent with exercise!).
Love your message, Mel! Please keep this as a part of your regular blog!
You are on the right track with your parenting. Brings me to tears remembering about when I was raising little ones. My kids are in college and a senior in high school so I treasure the memories of the heavy, daily parenting. Enjoy the journey while your kids are home. It goes by so fast!!
Thanks, JJ! And thanks Mel… always love to hear your thoughts and connect with other aspects of life in addition to cooking and chocolate <3
Thank you so much, JJ (and Tina!).
Thank you. This came at just the right time. Motherhood is hard work. Thank you for letting us know that you have the same struggles As everyone else. I am constantly wondering if I am “too hard” on my kids (my friends say) because we live on a farm and my kids have chores daily. Small evening chores during school week and then an age- appropriate list on the weekends. They say that their kids have the rest of their lives to work so why make them work now? Uhhhh well, this momma has 5 and they all help because those are our rules. Only the infant is exempt from work until she’s big enough for muck boots. lol. I know it teaches them — It shows them that we all work together, and teaches them responsibility. It teaches them that even when you don’t feel like it, you have to do things you might not necessarily find joy in doing. Sometimes I think boy, this would be easier if I didn’t have to watch them all while I just. Get. It. Done. Or, guiding one of them to do something correctly 72 times while keeping my cool, baby fussing and scratchjng the dickens out of my neck while in the Lillebaby, the two year old dropping eggs like rocks and the dogs cornering a skunk. Lol. I couldn’t make this stuff up. Fingers crossed they don’t all go off to college and never want to see a horse or hay again. Haha
Thanks Mel! I read your blog daily and I feel like in real life we’d be friends! Lol
Oh my gosh, Brooke! 100% THIS! I agree with you completely. We don’t live on a farm, technically, but we have five acres and my kids have a ton of responsibility for the cows we pasture, chickens, and lots of weekend projects around our property (not to mention our every day week/weeknight jobs). When our kids turn 13, we also have separate requirements for work during the summer to teach them responsibility and help them earn money for future college/church service. But you wouldn’t believe how much criticism I’ve gotten from friends/acquaintances/neighbors. It makes me feel small and insecure until I realize that I want my kids to learn how to work and find value in it. And I agree, it’s actually so much more work for me and Brian to LET them do these jobs around the house/property (since a lot of times we have to help or do an “enhancement” on the job after they are done). Anyway, I feel ya. You are doing GREAT things for your kids!
Mel–I would love for you to do a post (or just answer briefly) what your requirements are for them for summer work after they turn 13. My oldest is the same age as yours (will be 14 soon) and she really needs to do more in the summers. She struggles with idle time. 🙂 I would love to hear what you do! And I’m adding my praises to all the others–I absolutely love everything you share on here! Thanks so much for all of your blood, sweat, and tears.
And, by the way–this is a different Brooke than the one that commented a few comments up, ha ha!
Hey Brooke – sorry for the delay in responding – this is what I answered up above. Let me know if you have other questions (this is definitely not a perfect system but it’s working and in place for us right now).
Last summer when my oldest was 13, Brian and I realized that we needed to give him a more structured format for the summer (or I was going to go insane). Teaching our kids to work has been really important over the years, but my disclaimer is that we really don’t know what we are doing with the teenage phase + working. Last summer we instituted a new family rule that once you are a child of ours (lucky little ducks -ha!) and you turn 13, the expectation is that you need to “work” 5-8 hours each week in the summer. This can be volunteer hours (helping with someone’s Eagle Scout project), doing an above-and-beyond project at home (not just daily chores) that has been suggested and approved by mom or dad, or find work opportunities outside of home. So last year, my oldest son started a trash can cleaning business with his buddy and they handed out fliers (that they made themselves) and spent afternoons using our pressure washer to clean out trash bins. He also made a flier to mow lawns, he got some odd jobs helping neighbors with yard work, etc. This summer, now that he’ll be 14, the “work hours” have upped to 8-12 hours a week. Next summer, when he’s 15, it will be probably 15-20? And then by the time he’s 16, the expectation will be that he should be working as close to full-time through the summer as possible.
I know this probably sounds kind of harsh to others (trust me, I’ve gotten feedback from local friends around here that we are being way too hard on our kids by making them work), but it’s working pretty well for us. Yes, my son has resisted getting his lazy summer buns in order and get working, but because we are setting this requirement as parents, we are also super committed to helping him. We have spent time already (prepping for the upcoming summer) sitting down with Jackson brainstorming ideas, helping him gather phone numbers so he can start calling and get ahead of the summer crowd. He’s getting ready to do his own Eagle Scout project, so that will count toward his work hours this summer. We’ve told him all the prep he does for any business (trash bin cleaning, lawn mowing) counts toward those work hours (does that make sense)? Mostly, we want to HELP him be successful so he can start making that association that there is confidence, value, and benefits from learning to work…and that’s not just limited to money, although our kids know that they need to be saving money for college/church service.
Here’s the deal, it obviously doesn’t work perfectly. Teenage attitude! But like I mentioned above, we are trying really hard to be an advocate/help for our kids getting ready to do summer work. We research and find out ideas in the community and then have them call and follow up on them. If we hear of a family member or friend who needs, say, a swingset sanded down and painted, we give them a heads up that our son(s) may need work opportunities and that this child will be calling them. Also, we’ve instituted a consequence system, too. If by Thursday morning of the summer week, Jackson hasn’t formulated a specific plan (like, I’m going to mow three lawns, etc) or if he doesn’t have something officially set up, then Brian sets him to work on our house/property…and he does these jobs without getting paid (or paid as much as he would working for someone else)…mostly to help him find the motivation to find work opportunities himself (and honestly, so much of this learning experience has been beneficial for social skills, seeing him interact and talk to adults, etc).
Anyway, that was SUPER long. Again, I know this is really particular to our family so I’m not suggesting this will work for everyone, but a more structured plan feels right for now . I can see this ebbing and flowing as we go along. We’ve really tried to encourage our kids to think of small businesses they can start (selling cookie dough! lawn mowing business!, etc), write and develop a business plan (with our help) and carry it out. Our focus hasn’t really been on “earn this amount of money in the summer” – rather, learn new skills, be industrious and not lazy, etc. 🙂
Brooke…please, please, please do not listen to your friends when it comes to chores for children. Believe me…your children’s future employers will thank-you as well as their future wives/husbands/partners. The kids may moan and gripe now but years from now they will thank-you for instilling in them the sense of responsibility and a good work ethic. Your friends children are on the road to entitlement…not the path you want to take to be happy and successful in life. Keep up the good work…it is hard…but years from now, when you look back…the bad times tend to fade and the proud, happy moments shine bright!
For years I went to the gym but I’ve been working out at home for the past several years. I really like FitnessBlender. https://www.fitnessblender.com/ They have hundred of free videos and multiple ways to search. They also have programs which are very affordable. I’ve purchased a few of the programs. I highly recommend checking them out.
I like fitness blender, too! But I think I should check out some of their actual programs – I got kind of bored last year when I just cycled through videos of my own choosing. Thank you!
Hugs and chocolate chips to you. I am with you about being a mom; I am not sure if I am doing too much or not enough. I don’t want to go on and on but don’t know if I am getting through to them. I still call my mom to apologize or ask her how she handled “xyz.” We didn’t have the social media influences (thankfully) and that is a big part of my struggle. I tell my boys that communication is the key to life. As for exercise: two apps that I hear a lot about are dailyburn and aaptiv. My daughter sent me a link to parkinthestreet.com but I haven’t done any research.
I tell my boys the same thing, Sheila! We are working on communication and social skills. 🙂 Thank you for your comment and recommendations!
I needed to read your parenting thoughts today. It was like a little tender mercy. I understand completely and am so relieved to know that other moms (and fantastic moms like you!) can relate and have similar challenges/blessings. We’re all in this mortal life thing together. 🙂 Loved the post. Thanks. I needed it.
Oh, thanks so much, Trish. I’m far from a fantastic mom, but I’m trying, dang it. It makes me feel validated and normal that others can relate and many of us are fighting the same motherhood battles. 🙂
I love you as a human being! Awkward? Don’t care. This is great, I hope it continues.
Hahahaha. Never awkward. Love you right back, Angela.
I’m going to read that book! Ironically I read a little about the BBG workout for the first time last night. The one I have LOVED for the past few years, and I’m planning to stick with for now, is from Blogilates.com. She provides tons of free videos and creates more all the time. Plus she puts together a workout calendar every month telling you which videos to do. (Although sometimes I just pick my favorites). You have to give your email for the free calendar, but you won’t get spammed. She gives so much variety that I don’t find myself getting bored. She has a Pilates intense interval training that you can pay for too. I haven’t done it yet but I’m sure I will at some point. I’ll stop babbling, but I seriously can’t recommend her enough!
Yay! Thanks for the recommendation, Kandace!
If you need some more parenting cheerleading and ideas I highly suggest following @simplyonpurpose on Instagram. She has so many great ideas and talks a lot about taking the emotion out like you mentioned.
Love your blog and love your writing (food and non food alike). Happy Friday!!!!
Thanks, Megan – I’ll definitely check out that account!
I so hear you with disconnecting from the emotions I feel without disconnecting from them! I have all girls so there are all the emotions all of the time! It’s so hard for me not to feel sad or frustrated or defeated when they fuss at each other or disobey because, In my brain, I’m not actually surprised…I just emotionally respond like I am (if that makes sense). It takes awhile to have my mind and my heart work together!
I do try to remind myself that it’s not my job to jump on their emotional roller coaster, but to be sweetly steady! Surely nothing makes me realize my need for Jesus than being a mom and that He loves them even more than I do!
I loved everything you said, Becky! So, so true. And amen to needing God more than ever.
Love your Friday thoughts! I’ve considered Invisalign for my bottom teeth which moved after braces. I wore my retainer for 4 years and they still moved. Ugh! But not terrible so I may have to give them a try….and may help with the waist line too 🙂
Thanks for your thoughts of BBG Strong. I’ve seen so much about it on IG that I wasn’t sure it was worth it. How much does it cost if you don’t mind me asking? I’ve done so many different things since I workout from home. I have a decent amount of equipment that I’ve acquired. The one I often come back to is Fitness Blender. I bought their FB30 since it was 30 min/day which is doable for me. None of this hour a day business! It was 8 weeks and $15 and you get access to it forever. Its a combo of interval cardio & strength. They have many other programs too that are very affordable. The workout videos are free. Love your thoughts of motherhood! I put the book in my Amazon cart. As my kids are getting older….oldest son is almost 11, I’ve found that parenting requires so much of your emotions and heart! When they were young I was physically exhausted and now its more emotional 🙂 Keep up the Friday thoughts…Love it!
Hey Leigh Anne! So I think purchasing the workouts (BBG, BBG Stronger, and two more I haven’t used or looked at yet) through the Sweat app was $85 if I remember right? That’s for a year, I believe. The actual app is free to download, you just pay for upgrades depending on the programs you want. Month to month is more expensive so I bit the bullet and purchased a year. Like I said in the post, I like it – and I should have mentioned all the workouts are 30 mins or less, because I agree with you – ain’t nobody got time for 60 minute workouts (ok, maybe just me). I’ve done Fitness blender videos quite a bit in the past, but kind of got bored with them (do they have actual programs available where they tell you what to do on which days for a certain amount of time? I should check that out). Thanks for your thoughts!
I think we would be friends in real life-so much overlap with our lives written in this post. I ordered the parenting book. Thanks!! Have a great weekend
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Natalie! 🙂
Thank you…. running to get that parenting book today. I trust everything you say …. you have never let me down with a recipe or thoughts about parenting!!
My oldest is a boy who is about to turn 13. I would love to hear your thoughts about phones / smartphones. It is so hard especially with our oldest – one we are new to this and two the rule is brand new and the younger siblings aren’t effected by it so the oldest feels singled out. We only allow a “dumbphone” right now and our son feels like he is the only teen in the world without a smartphone.
Oh Heidi, we could have a lengthy conversation about the phone thing. In fact, it might bring me to tears right now as we had a difficult conversation with our teenager about it last night, except that I just waxed poetic about not letting parenting make me emotional! Ha! It’s a tough one, and SO individual to each family. I’ve learned people feel very strongly about the kids-with-phones issue on both sides of the spectrum, so I hesitate to share too many opinions for fear of alienating others (and myself). I have dear friends who have purchased phones for their elementary kids to use as much as they want and I have other friends who have kids in high school who still don’t have a personal phone. Brian and I are of the opinion that our kids (13 1/2 down to 5) don’t need a personal phone right now. Of course my teenager asks (begs) for one, and I can respect and understand and accept his desire for some independence on this matter; however, we matter-of-factly tell him no, it’s not an option right now, and we don’t know when that answer will change. We’ve also discussed with him the reasons “why.”. We have two “kid phones” that they have access to (we don’t have a landline) so they can get a hold of us if we are gone…and my middle schoolers can take one of the phones with them to school if they let me know ahead of time. The 12-year old and 13 1/2-year old can call and text their friends on these phones (my elementary kids don’t even ask to do that yet, but they are boys, which I think may make a difference). But the house rules are these two phones always stay in the kitchen (always) unless they have one at school, they have to ask permission before calling/texting on the phone if they are at home, and I have the text messages synced to my icloud account so I can monitor what’s going on between friends (a result of some inappropriate messages and pictures being sent to one of my middle schoolers). I feel strongly they need to learn how to use technology and even need to learn how to self-regulate with privileges such as phones/screen time/etc but I also feel that as young as they are, it’s my responsibility as a mom to provide some structure and boundaries. The two phones we have don’t have smart phone capabilities, so assure your son he isn’t the only teen without one. 🙂
Bless you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. I will be sharing this with my son. He “knows you” as I have been cooking from your site for so many years and he knows to go check your site for a recipe first!! You are the expert at our house for all things cooking/baking. It is so good for us (he and I both) to hear that we are not alone. Their are others doing the same – while it is not easy I know we will look back and be grateful we stood our ground with love and helped them over time prepare themselves for life with a smartphone… as it is inevitable!!
I’ve cried many tears over Invisalign this past year. Our Orthodontist swears her best patients are teenage boys, but not so for mine. He’s super responsible in so many aspects of life but putting in painful braces is not one of them. We discovered that he hadn’t changed trays for 12 weeks (3 months!!) because he didn’t think he was wearing them enough to justify the switch. Eek! About to find out just how much this is effecting life as his end date determines his mission availability. Then ensues the Mom guilt … if we’d only gotten him started sooner.
Oh, Alisha, I want to cry for you! Kind of justifies my feeling that later this year when my two oldest get braces, they are going to get the old-fashioned kind. Please try not to feel guilty. So much of our kids’ choices are out of our control (dang it!). Hang in there!
Good idea on the old fashioned kind of braces. My daughters both had braces while teenagers and both ended up going through the process once again while in their 40’s…with the old fashioned braces. I also had the old fashioned ones for my second time at the age of 50 because of shifting teeth. All 5 of my grandchildren have had the old fashioned braces and even with those they broke off brackets eating something they shouldn’t have. It’s hard enough getting them to take care of their teeth properly without adding the extra work the Invisalign requires. They all survived the old fashioned braces and they all have beautiful teeth and smiles. And try to convince them that wearing retainers is a lifetime thing if they want to continue to have straight teeth. I am now 70 yrs old and still wear my retainers faithfully at least once a week. But trying to convince kids of that is not easy and the reason both my daughters had to pay for braces in their 40’s and I had to in my 50’s. Teenagers think they know everything, even way back then.
Mel, you are the epitome of authentic. Thanks for your openness. I am right there with you on #4.
Oh gosh, I don’t know about that, Kathleen, but thanks for your kindness.
Loved your thoughts about motherhood. I too look forward to more random posts from you!
Thanks, Andrea! 🙂
I loved this! It is nice to hear more about your life beyond the kitchen. Have a wonderful weekend!
You, too, Melanie!
Good post Mel! Love number 4! Thanks!
Thank you, sweet Patricia!
Thanks for sharing, Mel. This really resonated with me and mirrors some of the same struggles I have trying to be an appropriate limit-setter and consequence-doler-outer with my tween and teen without getting too emotionally strung out in the process. I used to teach and it was much easier when they were your students and not your own kiddos! I love your recipes and food inspiration but also love that you want to peek through every now and again with some (other) real life. Have a great weekend!
Isn’t that the truth about how much harder it is to separate emotionally when they are your own kids? Every time I’m in my kids’ classrooms at school, I realize “wow, I am the most patient person in the world!” and “I really know how to treat these kids right!” and “where’s my gold star??” and then I get home and realize my own kids are going to be the death of me (and why can’t I be as patient with them??). There’s something about that mother-child combo that is so, so wonderful and so, so hard.
Thank you for your open and honest thoughts. You are such an encourager, both in getting delicious food on our tables, and also in priority setting and realistic family life.
I use Team Body Project for my at home workouts. Their workouts and programs are phenomenal! Some of their workouts are on YouTube but you get the most benefit from joining through their website,:
teambodyproject.com.
So. Worth. Every. Penny!!
Yay, yay! Thanks for the recommendation!
Being a parent is so emotional difficult! I like posts like these, so keep them coming! Also, I signed up for Beachbody on demand this year, and I love it!
Thanks, Teresa! And yes, I agree about beachbody on demand. I used that two years prior to crossfit and really liked the variety.
I LOVED this. I love your recipes, and I’ve been a long time reader, but I love when you also dive into the non-food/family life topics. I for one am looking forward to these semi-regular posts! 🙂
Thank you, Janette! I promise not to bore you guys (too much!)
The parenting thing. Oh, the parenting thing! It’s so hard! And the growth (on my part) is so real. All my weaknesses become glaringly obvious and sometimes I feel even my strengths only take me so far. I follow this great parenting instagrammer that has given me a lot of insight into positive, call parenting. She has kids around your same ages, she’s @simplyonpurpose on Instagram, she has lots of great content.
You are the 2nd person to recommend her! Totally going to check her out. Thank you!
I REALLY needed these thoughts on motherhood this morning. Thank you for always being willing to share, for keeping it real, and for inspiring me!! You are loved be so many!
Thank you so much, Becky!
LOVE!!! You put into words what has been on my mind lately about Motherhood. Hearing you say it makes me think I’m onto something because if you’re doing it, too, it’s gotta be
good!
Haha, I don’t know about that, but I am grateful so many of you feel the same way I do!
I’m right there with you on those same thoughts. 1. I’ve been loving Nutrition redefined podcasts. All about finding food freedom and the eating psychology behind “why” we are eating or need to eat. 2. I’ve enjoyed doing Jill k’s fitblasts after cancelling my gym membership. 3. And my 4 kids are the same age range as your kids…I’ve been trying to learn how to let things “roll off me” like you were talking about. Thanks for being so real and relatable.
Thanks for the recommendations, Jenny! I think I listened to a nutrition redefined podcast a while ago, but I needed the reminder.
Thank you. Looking forward to Fridays to come…on to making banana bread.
Ooooh, wish I was at your house. 🙂
I loved this. Friday Thoughts should happen more often. I Read this article yesterday – your thoughts reminded me of it – and I thought I could share because you did 🙂 https://www.thesmallseed.com/blog/2018/2/21/learning-from-eve-sacrifice-defines-purpose
Thank you, Jenny! I’ll definitely read that (I love the small seed so thanks for bringing that article to my attention)