Friday Thoughts
Well first of all, thanks for the huge amount of support, comments, feedback, and LOVE on the Friday Thoughts I posted a couple weeks ago!
I read every single comment and jotted down a thousand ideas and notes (and ordered some of the books you suggested, checked out some online work out videos). Basically, you guys are the best!
Today’s Random Friday Thoughts!
{I honestly welcome each and every thought YOU want to share in the comments, too!}
1) Honest Mom Thought: I’m not an expert pianist (not even close), but I do teach my kids piano lessons. You know, to save money and avoid leaving the house and to honor that this might be the only useful talent I can pass on to them…even though it comes at a cost to my mental sanity. And lately I’ve been left with this question: is it wrong to pass off a piano song they’ve been working on just so I don’t have to hear it one.more.dang.time? Even if they haven’t even come close to perfecting it?
Am I trashing their worth ethic? Stalling their piano progression? Ruining them for life?
Actually, you know what? I don’t care, because I literally think Indian Dance and The Spinning Song are going to put me in my grave…or at the very least send me rocking in the corner in the fetal position with my stash of chocolate chips.
2) Self-Control Thought: a few of my kids reached a huge milesetone this week that I’ve mentioned a time or two on my blog the last year. These two dudes went an entire year WITHOUT EATING SWEETS!
It was insane (and exhausting and inspiring) watching their self-control! All four boys started the challenge in March 2017, and the almighty 10- and 12-year old finished strong. The other two boys clearly have my DNA (gimme all the chocolate). The two who persevered didn’t give up all sugar, but they did give up all blatant sweets: cookies, cakes, cupcakes, muffins, fruit snacks, anything chocolate, brown sugar or powdered sugar on crepes, brownies, juice, and things like that. They still ate homemade jam on their pancakes/french toast and enjoyed all sorts of fresh fruit.
When we realized they were serious about doing this challenge (a couple months in), we told them we’d give them some money if they finished (and in the end, it worked out that their generous dad decided to split the unearned winnings of the two brothers who dropped out between the two winners, also), and that helped fuel the self-control fire, I’m sure.
I was positive that when they ended their year long sweets fast at least one of them would vomit as they made up for lost time and consumed their bodyweight in sugar, but surprisingly, they were wise enough to realize that too many sweets were going to make them feel sick after an entire year without, and they exercised some caution (except for my 10-year old who loves donuts more than life, wants to be a gourmet donut shop owner when he grows up, and ate three of the “gourmet, grocery store” donuts for breakfast).
3) Parenting Thought: after many recommendations on my deep thoughts a few weeks ago, I bought this book: How To Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. It was written in 1980 and is a little old school like my other favorite parenting book, but that vibe kind of jives with me (affiliate links for books).
I’m only a couple chapters in but I am loving it. I’ve put a few of the beginning principles into action with my kids already (listening with full attention, putting a name to their feelings, and validating their feelings – yes even for full-on tantrums – and it has been amazing to see the change in my relationship with a few of my kids where our interactions often end in a power struggle). Some of the dialogue and examples in the book are outdated and lack an emotional component, but it’s easy to extrapolate the examples to myself, and I am finding a lot of value in the guiding principles just in the last few weeks. Thank you to those of you who recommended this one!
And on a quick other parenting note, my dear friend, Deb, sent me this article from Your Modern Family, and it was fascinating to me. So fascinating. I wish we were all crowded in my kitchen shoving brownies in our faces and talking about this article together (wanna come over?). I don’t agree with 100% of the article, but a good portion of it speaks to me as a mom (especially the “let them be bored” and “let them lose” philosophies, as well as putting down my own phone and setting boundaries). Have you read this article? What did you think?
4) Fashion Thought: Finally, let’s end this conversation with a very deep, philosophical question? How much is too much to spend on a pair of jeans? No really, I want to know what you think. Do you have an absolute favorite, can’t-live-without pair of jeans? If so, how much did they cost you? And if you nearly had to sell your firstborn to afford them, was it worth it? Inquiring minds want to know.
Later, skaters!
Disclaimer: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
I remember seeing a comment about jeans/jeggings from Amazon that are magical and aren’t super expensive, but now I don’t see the comment. Anyone know what I’m talking about?
I was taught in my early years by my mother. As I read your post I wondered what would happen if the student could pass on a song that they were not into. Maybe earn an incentive coupon earned after a good week or two of practice to be saved until needed. 50 years later I still am not fond of the Spinning song!
Such a fun post, so enjoy the blog and fun posts
I taught all 3 of my kids piano with the best help ever, I found http://www.letsplaymusicsite.com when my kids were preschoolers and LOved the curriculum so much I ended up certifying as a teacher
It is so amazing if you are looking for music or piano classes for your kids
0-4 (Sound Beginnings)
4-6 (LPM)
7-12 Presto check out the website for more info
I buy jeans at Costco The Buffalo DavidBritton are the softest and like $20!?
I make your cheesy chicken, kale, sweet potato skillet any time we get kale in our produce basket! Shared that recipe so many times
Delish over rice, in a tortilla, or with broccoli and or/zoodles for low carb
Okay, so I think this post was inspired. Seriously. 🙂 I came here looking for your honey lime enchiladas recipe, and somehow stumbled on this post. I have tried off and on to teach my oldest two kids piano over the past year or so (I used to teach, before I had so many kids), and have finally been feeling ready to make a real attempt (this time with my husband on board and willing to watch the younger three while I teach). I love all the advice you’ve got here, especially about thinking about what skills the song teaches, and that volume=more sight reading practice. And also I love hearing fellow moms who teach their own kids, as most people I talk to (I used to be one of them) say they would never teach their own kids. But hauling 5 kids around to wait in the car during the lessons… yikes, not happening. 🙂
For parenting I’ve really been enjoying the instagram account @simplyonpurpose. She focuses on positive parenting and had so many good book recommendations in her highlights.
Hey Mel! I think good jeans are always worth it. Personally though, I always buy American Eagle. They last for years, are so comfy with the right amount of stretch, and come in so many styles and sizes (I’m pretty tall so I always buy extra long). My personal faves are the super stretch jeggings, but I have other styles I like too! I can’t speak to the bootcut because I’m a skinny jeans kind of gal, but worth giving a shot. You can usually get 2 pairs for around $100 (or even less if there’s a good sale).
I’m a tall girl too and the vast majority of my jeans/pants are from American Eagle! I just got a pair for $30 (love the jegs too) and they often have a BOGO 50%. Long live AE pants!
I love this Mel! First – jeans!! I have definitely learned that a good pair of jeans is worth every penny!! I used to be a sale shopper on every item of clothes and shoes I bought, but I have learned that splurging on a great pair of jeans is SO worth it! They make a HUGE difference in how they fit you and therefor HOW YOU FEEL in them!!! I don’t totally go crazy, Silver jeans is a brand I love that are technically not “designer” but fit like designer and they are usually around $80-$90, but I would not be opposed to spending up to $200 for an awesome pair. Plus they will last you for years. Same with shoes (Jeans for my kids I only spend about $8 a pair at Children’s Place, less when I have a coupon, which makes me very happy) Do it, buy a good pair, you will be so happy!!
I love that your boys did no sweets! Ok, so funny story for you, I totally did this as a kid! We didn’t have a whole lot of money when I was a kid and so we didn’t usually have treats in our house, my mom would make cookies and cakes on some Sundays but candy was something that was such treat that anytime we got our own money we would walk to the little market by our house and spend it on candy. So my mom got wise and offered us $100 if we could go year with out candy. Several of my siblings and I did it in elementary school. Then I decided in Jr. High to up the challenge and did a year with out any sweets at all, including soda. I did this in 8th grade and then again in 10th! After going a year with out soda, I no longer liked it and could not stand the carbonation anymore, so I have been soda free since I was 15. The treats on the other hand are an entirely different story!! I don’t know what has happened to me, it must be the stress of being a mom, but I am positive I would DIE if I had to go without sweets now!! I seriously can not fathom how I did ZERO SWEETS for 2 years of my life!!! Which speaking of, I am dying to make those bars you posted yesterday and am seriously tempted to make them while my kids are at school today so I can enjoy a warm one with vanilla ice cream all by myself!!
You’re the best Mel!!
Oh and good luck with the piano thing! I can’t imagine teaching my own kids. I love the piano and wish I was better, I took some lessons as a kid but didn’t get to do it long enough to get very good, (really good story about how amazing my mom was I’ll have to tell you later) so I pay dang good money for my kids to take lessons from a professional teacher ($80 a month per kid, 2 kids in now, one will start this fall) but I do think it’s worth every penny for that too! Having them taught correctly is super important to me! So if you’re losing your mind, I totally think it’s worth the cost to pay a professional teacher!
I used to not be able to pay more than $30 for jeans but had a really hard time finding any that fit just right. I have a small waist with bigger rump and thighs so either the waist was too big or the legs and seat too tight. I have discovered that upping my price point by like $20 has been totally worth it! I now limit myself to $50 and shop at American Eagle for my jeans. This has been so hard for me to spend that money and I usually only do it like once maybe twice a year and try to buy them on sale but I actually don’t mind wearing jeans now where as before I was all about leggings and yoga pants (don’t get me wrong I still wear yoga pants like 80% of the time).
You are a great pianist and organist too. Congratulations to those cute boys for sticking with their ‘no sugar’ goal!! I couldn’t get them to eat any delicious cake, candy or cookies I offered them. I really didn’t think they could do it but send them over for the quarter we promised each of them. (big spender) You are a great mother and example Melanie. Thanks for all your wonderful family does for us. We love and appreciate you!
IT’S OKAY TO MOVE ON FROM SONGS THAT YOU HATE. Or that are uninspiring to your kids. This is when it’s great to have an alternative method book that you turn to sometimes; especially if they’re not ready to move to the next song but aren’t excited by what they’re doing. (I love Piano Pronto for this, as well as Bastien Basics lesson and technic books).
I won’t pay more than $30 for a pair of jeans, and they’d better be KILLER but I am a cheapskate. My friends pay up to $150 for a good pair of jeans, I think they’re nuts.
Hi Mel, I just needed to say that I’m a professional music teacher and yes, it is ok to just pass your kids’ pieces off if they’re not working well with them. Especially with my very beginning students, I’ll give a piece three weeks (sometimes only two!) and then we’ll cross it off and move onto something else if it’s just not working. Saves their sanity as well as yours. 🙂
Also I just need to tell you that I love your recipes! I discovered your website two years ago this week (!) and I have really fallen in love with it. Thank you for helping me become a better cook and for helping me learn to love cooking!
Great post Mel! This mom is finally taking a few minutes to catch on some good reads (yours!). I played the piano as a child and regret now that I quit when my mom gave me the out. I guess I didn’t think it was cool at the time but wish now I had stuck with it and could teach my own kids how to play. My older daughter (9) starts guitar lessons on Sunday so I’m excited for her. Let’s discuss jeans. Jeans are like shoes for me. I have paid up to $220 and as low as $60 bucks. I wore Joes for years and now I’m wearing more variety – JCrew, Pilcro from Anthro, Citizens. I also now look for jeans on sale. (now that I have kids and they cost money. Ha Ha 🙂 I’m definitely going to check out that parenting book on listening. We could use more of that in our house. Happy Thursday!
I have bought jeans in every price range up to 120.00. I can honestly say I love the Levi’s brand Denizen from Walmart price point 19.99 and the Mossimo brand st Target that they
Don’t make anymore at
22.00.They all come close to my waist and have some nice stretch for when My weight fluctuates some. The NYC brand that we’re 120.00 I had to give away unworn because the fit was awful. When I find some that are that inexpensive that fit I buy several pair.
Ok Mel, long time follower of your blog. I love love love your blog and I refer to you like a friend even though you have no idea I exist. So I have a question. I told my boys about the no sweets challenge that your boys did and they readily accepted (they wrangled me in as well…sigh…)! I don’t know how long it will last…but I have two birthdays and Easter coming up in the next two weeks. What did you do?! I am racking my brain trying to think of “healthy” desserts and have come up dry. Any thoughts you have would be appreciated. 🙂
That’s a great question, Erin (and tell your boys way to go – and you, too!!). We found a couple fun ways to get through the holidays. They might sound kind of lame, but when you aren’t eating sweets, you’d be surprised at what sounds fun and yummy! I stocked a LOT of fresh fruit – and several varieties that we didn’t always keep on hand, so they always had that as an option. Their go-to favorite dessert when we were having a treat was yogurt (I buy low sugar brands or make my own so it’s not overly sweet) with granola. Again, not super exciting, but they loved it! But there were also the times our cousins made homemade sno cones and the boys were over there eating plain ice in their cups. It takes serious determination! If you and your boys make it a year, we’ll send you something special! 🙂
Love all your honest parenting questions that I am also asking myself!! I’m getting lots of great info from your commenters so you are helping all of us also. I recently found a book from Focus on the Family called “Gist: the essence of raising life-ready kids”, this book has given me a lot to think about, especially regarding getting my emotions out of my parenting. I also like “Boundaries with your kids” and “Simpicity Parenting” and “How to raise an adult”. I think I read to many parenting books, and now I have a few more after your blog posts :). Thanks for all the great food and love the Friday thoughts posts!!!
Haha, there are SO many parenting books out there! I like to take the general ideas and use them as guidelines. It’s easy to get overwhelmed. Thanks for the other suggestions!
Hi Mel, I just read this blog and then your blog and it felt meant to be. The Mom Edit just posted a guide to buying skinny (and some not as skinny) jeans. http://themomedit.com/ They show both designer and non-designer jeans at different price points. It may be helpful! The amount of research they put in jeans is equivalent to the amount of research you put into a new recipe! Impressive on both fronts!
I’m so excited to check out that article, Eliza! Thank you!
How to Talk is one of my faves too! I feel like No Drama Discipline is a great add-on to that as well. Lots of the same concepts, but with lots of new info too. The nerd in me loves the information about their brains. 😉 My husband teaches our kids piano too, and there’s been many times when we wonder if it’s worth the loss of sanity. We discovered Piano Marvel, and that’s helped a lot with practice time. It turns practice into a game (see how high you can score) but we had to convert to a digital piano. The side benefit of that is they can practice with headphones on, which helps with my sanity too.
Yes on the digital piano!!! I taught my kids piano until they out played me.
That practicing game sounds awesome!
Loft Jeans—-my go to jeans. Generally around $80, but they always have sales. Love how they fit and hold up.
My friend swears by those jeans, too!
I just spent $188 on a pair of non-frayed, regular length jeans. I’m 46, I’m 5’9 and I have a bootie from my years of working out (read: I’m not a complete stick). These jeans are the result of a 3 month search because my beloved Page jeans finally wore out after 5 years and they don’t make the style I wore anymore. I’ll pay the big bucks for my staple items because I know I’ll wear them forever….or for at least 5 years… lol!
For my kiddos, (18,16,11) I also spend decent money because my kids are freakishly tall and Target jeans just don’t come long enough.
Well now I’m dying of curiosity to know what brand of jeans those are, Stacy!
Indian dance….hahahaha…. Yes, it is OK to let it go. Heck I let my daughter quit lessons at 14 even when my gut said NO! My oldest started at age 5 because she was teaching herself anyway. She loved it until she started flute and quit…then she got a boyfriend who played also…She taught him to play “A River Flows In You” by Yiruma. It is the most beautiful song. She played it at age 13 for my niece’s wedding. I have never, ever tired of it. I highly recommend. I am guessing one of them will play it at their own wedding. ugh…can’t believe I have a kid old enough to do that.
Maybe I should have someone pay me to give up sweets. Ever since I went on a diet, all of your recipes have been sweet. I really, really want a poppyseed lemon muffin.
I love that song, Beth! My 16-year old cousin plays it all the time, and I agree, it is so beautiful! Way better than Indian Dance and the Spinning Song. 🙂 Haha.
Mel,
You are just the best! I love your recipes they are amazing. I think am your number one fan. I live in South America and it is hard to find food as good as yours here. Thank you for everything!
Thank you! 🙂
I started buying my jeans at Madewell and I will NEVER go back. They’re usually about $120-140 and often go on sale for about $20 off. Worth it though. You can wear and wear and never need to wash to get them back to original shape. They don’t stretch. Best jeans I’ve ever worn. I’m a minimalist with clothes though, so I’m fine just rotating a couple nice pairs of jeans instead of having several cheaper ones.
I wish I could go to a store and try them on in person. I bought one pair online a while back and everything about them was just awful. But I know there are so many different fit/style options, and I’ve heard so many people rave about them! I just need to get the sizing and style right.
I agree. I tried several on in the store and found a good fit but several styles of the same size were no bueno. I ordered a pair online thinking the style was similar to the one I purchased in-store, but it wasn’t. So true about keeping shape! They wear so much longer than other jeans. Love them.
They sell them (Madewell) at Nordstroms, and it is free return shipping. You just order a bunch, try them on, put all of them back in the box that you don’t like, and drop it off at the post office. The return sticker is already in the box. Nordstroms also has a brand that I have tried and really love called Wit and Wisdom that is more in the 40-80$ range. I am willing to put out a pretty penny for jeans if I find a pair that I really like. It is a pain in the butt shopping for jeans, so when I actually find some that I love…I feel like it is usually worth the money as long as they are going to be used a lot and last a while. I don’t have time to go to 50 different stores to try on every pair of jeans in existence. Time is money and money is time, and all of it is my sanity. Also, I have maybe never found a pair of jeans that I have really liked for under $40. When you have a round booty and thicker thighs, you have to be picky with your jeans. Sometimes I wonder if I upped my standards and tried on some really, really nice jeans ($100 +) maybe I will be stunned by the quality and never go back…but for now, I usually spend $60-80.
Also, I have been following you for probably 8 years, but I think we might be in the same stake now. We just moved into the area recently. So, that’s kind of fun.
1. Ha Ha! Indian Dance… You are klingng me. My oldest turns 5 this summer and I still haven’t decided if I have it in me to teach him. Not sure if you helped push me in one direction or the other .
2. Amazing. Wish I could do it!
3. I love this discussion. I can definitely use help in this area and appreciate the insight and recommendations. I also need to work on putting down my phone. Good article.
4. Boo to shopping for denim. I am still post pregnancy fat but have found some sweet deals at the local savers. I like seven and
Kut from the kloth but I am going to look for Paige and Hudson now.
As usual, thanks for everything, Mel. You are my favorite!
Thanks, Angela!
Angela, I’ve had better luck teaching piano to boys waiting until they’re about 8 years old.
I love how real you are, Mel. You are so relatable. I teach my kids piano as well. They are able to earn 3 points per lesson: 1 for playing their songs well, 1 for attitude, and 1 for counting. When they earn 3 points they get a piece of candy. I feel like it takes some of the pressure off of me because they know what is expected without me having to constantly remind them. And I don’t tell them how many points they’ve earned until the end of the lesson so they can’t complain about it until after. These piano tips from all the comments have been helpful to read.
Ok, Jenny, your advice was lifechanging for me. I implemented the same thing today, and I know it’s probably just the honeymoon period, but my kids loved it, and I didn’t nag nearly as much. THANK YOU!!!!
Also–another awesome old-school parenting book is So You Want to Raise a Boy by Cleon Skousen. It’s very old-fashioned but has so much good stuff in it. I think I’m going to buy How to Talk so Kids Will Listen–you’re the second person I’ve seen recommending it in about a week. Must be a winner. Thanks!
I misread that to say “So You Want to Raise a Boy to be Cleon Skousen.” – made me smile.
Thanks for the recommendation, Anna! A couple other people recommended that book, too. Sounds like an oldie but a goodie.
I am impressed that you continue to teach your own kids! I am a piano teacher with lots of students, and I taught my own kids for a while, but it got way to hard to be consistent! I am huge believer in moving on when the song is close enough! As for jeans, I always spend at least $80 on a pair. I can almost always find something I really like at Nordstrom Rack, but I have occasionally gone to the real Nordstrom and found something on sale. I love Joe’s jeans, they are so amazing and they wear so well. I’ve tried lots of different designer jeans, and they are consistently my favorite!
I’ve heard a lot of great things about Joes jeans, Carey! I’ll have to try on a pair!
About the jeans–if you can afford them new and will wear them forever, it’s okay to go for it. If you know exactly what you like and want to spend less, look for it at thredup.com and swap.com. They aren’t necessarily the best for trying new things, but if you know what you are looking for you can sometimes find great deals on it there. Then you get the great jeans PLUS the satisfaction of being thrifty. Totally worth looking at before buying new, in my opinion.
(And I must say I hate jeans shopping. I have a 7-month-old and am still in my maternity jeans because 1. the weight doesn’t want to just fall off this time, darn it, and 2. I finally bought good maternity jeans this time around, with baby #6, at the stores I mentioned, and they are the only jeans I can find that look good on me. So I’m rocking the maternity jeans and probably will be for a while–but at least they’re good ones!)
Hey, no shame in rocking those maternity jeans still, my friend!
I hear ya on the piano – I might have heard Martin play the Indian Dance sound about a million times this year!
Hahahaha. 🙂
gosh I miss you! After writing a parenting column in our local newspaper for 10 years I can tell you that no one has all the answers, so it’s helpful to read and ask and research and talk about everything and to everyone. Because as you probably have realized what works with one won’t work with another child. Some of the best parenting advice comes from the “old school”. We have a sweet neighbor who is 89 and is a favorite sunday school teacher with the 14 year-olds. I think it’s because she is old school and they respect it. well, that’s enough–tell the boys their “other grandparents” said, “Well Done”.
I miss you so much, too!! And I’m realizing that the “old school” advice just jives with me. I love that your neighbor is perfect for those 14-year olds!
First of all, thank you for being a wonderful influence for good on the internet. I love your advocacy for women and motherhood and family and truth. I, of course, also love your recipes; so many have become what we call in our family “Make-agains”:). Since I follow your blog and we’re now best friends online (as, I’m sure, all your readers feel they are:), I want to share something with you that was and continues to be absolutely life-changing for me as a mother. I’ve read literally dozens of parenting books. I taught parenting at BYU, am the mother of 4, and I’m a marriage and family therapist. I don’t say this to boast in any way, just to illustrate that I’ve had some experience with parenting literature and training. I loved the “How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen” books by Faber and Mazlish when I came across them and I loved the Glenn Latham parenting books when I came across them (I read the one you recommended and his earlier, bigger book as well). Parenting with Love and logic, Child Whisperer, and so many more. They were all helpful. But still I could not figure out how to be calm and kind instead of reacting to any given situation. A friend recommended “A House United: Changing Children’s Hearts and Behaviors by Teaching Self Government” by Nicholeen Peck. I bought a copy maybe three years ago but only started it. I’d heard it was “too strict” and that turned me off. Randomly, I received an email for a free webinar last October by Nicholeen and during it, I knew without doubt that I was supposed to buy her Implementation Course and read her book. So I bought it (Gulp. $199 and that was on sale!) However, I was just telling my husband two days ago (for the hundredth time:) that it was one of the best investments we’ve ever made. Ever. Now I know how to respond with love and calm instead of frustration and anger. I am still far from perfect, but I can’t tell you how it’s changed me and my interaction with our kids. Her parenting approach is all about how correction is connection. It’s true. When done the way she teaches (a method she learned from the Utah Village foster care program), with love first, correction really does create closer connection. As you can tell by this novel, I could go on and on. But I cannot believe how arguing, whining, complaining, and my own outbursts have diminished. Truly a miracle after 12 years of desperately praying and seeking help help to be calm and kind no matter what situation the kids throw at me or how grumpy/tired I am. Nicholeen’s book is okay on its own. But I really needed the implementation course AND the book to understand the why behind the practices and all her tips on how to apply the principles and “skills.” I am in no way affiliated with Nicholeen or her business. I simply related so much to your Friday thoughts about not getting caught up in the emotion of parenting that I wanted to share what’s been life changing for our family. Hope this is helpful. She has quite a bit of free stuff out there and I’m happy to send some of our favorites along if you’re interested. Best wishes from one mommy to another. Here’s her website: https://teachingselfgovernment.com
Thank you so much, Cari! Another commenter down below mentioned the self government course (I’m assuming it is the same one), and I will definitely look into it just for additional help and reference. I love ideas like this! Thank you!
That book is my all time favorite for getting through to my kids in a positive, personal way. They need to be heard! The other one that hits home for me is “Christlike Parenting”- it is such a good compliment to the book you mentioned. Those two books plus relying on the Spirit as you look at each of your kids and try your best to be their mother on an individual basis. They each are unique and need your own uniqueness as their mother… focused on just them as an individual. You are awesome- and good luck with the Jeans- can’t help you there.
Thanks, Sarah!
My go to pants right now are from motherhood maternity, that will end in another 2 1/2 months As for parenting I find the biggest struggle is consultancy for me. Parenting is a lot of work. So I guess I’m Getting a lot of practice developing a good work ethic. We use TSG (teaching self government) it’s a program that you are basically teaching your kids to self govern themselves so their prepared for adulthood. It requires a lot more envolvment and I am not perfect at it, but after implementing it for the first 3 weeks my 12 yr old said “I like our family better. We’re a lot nicer now.” So it’s working for us. We’ve been using it for almost a year now. I’m learning to control my reaction much more and find it’s a lot easier to stay calm because no matter the situation I know exactly what to say and how to handle it.
As for piano, I’ve played for 30 yrs and I can say perfection isn’t required to progress. (That rings true for more than piano to me in life). Keep going, you’re doing great and inspiring us along the way!
That sounds like such an interesting program, Brenda! And good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! 🙂
Mel, I will pay $100- $125 for a pair of well fitting jeans. I wash them in Woolite for dark clothes, gentle cycle and hang to dry. I’ve never had a problem with fading and they last forever. I buy for fit and try on every pair, even if they are the same brand and size. I wear athletic clothes around the house and only wear my jeans when I go out.
Thanks, Julia! I definitely think I need to start washing my nicer jeans/clothes differently (and not drying them!).
I’ve always loved Lucky Brand Jeans but haven’t bought a pair in years. I want a pair of Levi’s. Wear mostly Old Navy (rockstar) and Gap (girlfriend) jeans. P.s. I love your blog
Thank you, Katie!
I was in your same mental place with jeans a couple years ago. Found and loved Paige jeans (on sale). Then when they got holes in them was on the hunt again and the other Paige jeans I found just didn’t fit the same. I wound up ordering a bunch of jeans from Nordstrom rack to try. Enough that shipping was free and I could try a bunch and return them in store. Most were awful but I found “the one” for me and it was Hudson. And since it was on sale at Nordstrom rack they were a reasonable price for me. (Can’t recall precisely but probably between $60-80)
I super love the book Parenting Without Power Struggles. More current feel than the how to talk books. I loved the audio version from my library so much that I bought a physical copy to be able to reference. It feels like what the simplyonpurpose account used (among other things I’m sure) to get to her view on parenting. Anyway, it was a game changer for me and I agree with whoever said they can’t handle more parenting books. This one was worth it for me.
Also, I don’t teach my kids piano, but I think moving on from a piece doesn’t have to mean it’s “passed off.” You don’t have to say “this is perfect now we can move forward.” But you can say, “we’ve worked on this enough, let’s move on to something else.” The work goes on either way!
Hudson jeans have been my favorites ever, too (although the pair I had and loved got holes so I’m on the hunt for another and I think Nordstrom Rack is the place to look). Thanks for the book recommendation!
we had a piano teacher once who would not pass off a song until it was perfected – oh shoot me! the kids did not make as much progress as they do now with a teacher who lets them move on when they’ve gotten what they need to from a piece – not every song is a recital piece! She does make them perfect and memorize 2 or 3 recital pieces a year! She’s also let them get rid of songs if they just don’t like them! love her for that – best teacher we’ve ever had!
JCrew factory jeans – perfect balance – great jeans – not as pricey and there’s always a sale going on – love them!
Well, that convinces me, Deb. I’m going to let them start moving on with songs even more than I already do!
Hmm… my last comment didn’t post. My kids boycotted jeans a long time ago. My boys wear sweatpants or shorts. My daughters wear The Children’s Place yoga pants or shorts. Basically anything soft. My husband doesn’t even wear jeans. I’m the only one in the family who wears jeans. I find mine at Goodwill for $8 a pair (score!!!!). The most I remember spending on a new pair of jeans is $20 for stretchy jeans at Walmart.
As for piano lessons, do you know about the keyboard lessons the Church has? It’s free!!! https://www.lds.org/music/accompanying-others/keyboard-course?lang=eng&_r=1 Your post reminded me of it. And your boys have great self control to not have added sweets for a whole year!!! Here I am with a peanut butter and honey sandwich at 3 AM to hold me over until breakfast. #MidnightSnackWin Thanks for your yummy recipes!
Thanks for the link, Nina!!
Thredup has a bunch of Hudson Collin jeans for less than $30!
Serious??
Love to read your thoughts. Here are a few of mine – I have two boys taking piano lessons. They started with a new teacher in August. And an interesting thing about her is she gives them fun music that goes with their individual interests – Harry Potter, Star Wars, Charlie Brown, Lego Movie, etc, and holiday songs like for Halloween and Christmas. Most of their songs don’t come from piano lesson books. And they LOVE taking lessons. Their teacher has been teaching for probably 30+ years and is great at getting them excited and keeping their interest. And so far I haven’t been getting tired of hearing them practice (most of the time.) They still play at a pretty basic level but their teacher is able to find versions of popular songs at their level.
Also – I saw a recommendation for that parenting book years ago and really enjoyed it. I don’t always remember everything from it but I always try to keep in mind “Acknowledge their feelings” and I think just that helps a lot.
I love this, Maria! The comments in this thread about piano lessons are so helpful. I’m definitely going to change how I do things!
I’m super duper restrictive with clothing cost–much rather spend my money on vacation or organic foods or electronics. My favorite jeans cost $8 secondhand at Savers ($6 at Deseret Industries). They’re from a variety of high-end boutiques as well as the more common brands like Old Navy or American Eagle, etc. Most women don’t wear out their jeans–just shop for new ones, so they’re a quality item to get secondhand. A friend taught me to browse the racks more efficiently by 1) look at the pockets first, if you like the pockets then 2) look at the bottom hem for cut–boot, skinny, straight, etc then 3) look at the front for desired closure and overall quality condition. You can zip through a rack really quickly in this search order. I love the price, and also that the jeans already washed, so they don’t surprise me and go wonky the first time they’re laundered!
GREAT feedback on getting through clearance racks. Love that!
On the music thing about saying enough is enough and moving on to new music, I would say a resounding YES!! Not every song has to be brought to perfection. Some music is good just for sight reading. I think, too, there are songs one loves that you want to make them the very best and then there is music you are just *meh* about so why prolong the agony! 🙂 On the parenting article, I have grown children, so am a bit old school but yes, let kids be bored, they become creative they can figure stuff out. Having art supplies and craft supplies like tp rolls and paper and markers and glue and tape so they can make things or build things. And losing, yes, it is important to know how to lose gracefully. It is also important to learn how to win gracefully. Love your blog and recipes!
Thanks for the comment, Pat!
Absolutely okay to let them move on (I am a piano teacher myself)! Remember that you want to keep their sanity and enjoyment of music just as much as your own. They can grow really discouraged or bored if they are having to work on the same pieces for too long, especially if its something they really don’t enjoy or its especially challenging for them. If “too challenging” is the issue, then remember that you can keep working on that same concept or technique with a different piece. If you’re not doing it every week and with every piece, you’re not going to hurt their work ethic. May be helpful to say something like “I know this one isn’t perfect yet, but you’ve worked hard on it and we can go ahead and move on to something new.” (If you know they haven’t worked hard, though–now that’s a different story :)) Of course, you want them to learn to be able and desire to “perfect” pieces, so having a recital or other performance venue is a great opportunity and motivator for getting something “performance-ready”, and makes the learning process more enjoyable since they have an outlet for using it. Maybe set something up with a group of friends whose children also play one Saturday afternoon at your church. Or go play for a nursing home–the residents would LOVE that, and your children would learn more than just performance skills. I teach my own kids too, so I know how challenging it can be! Good for you for sticking to it!
This may sound a bit extravagant and unorthodox when it comes to piano lessons. But, although we have a lovely piano, we purchased a digital piano that we put in a bonus room, away from the main areas of the house. It has headphones. When I am tired of hearing the lovely music on the regular piano, (i.e. about to go crazy) I call for a digital practice session! It has saved our piano relationship many times… and, it lets me keep the years-old dream alive of someday using that digital piano to create sheet music for my own hymn arrangements.:)
On jeans… I think I am also curious to see what your other readers have to say. I’m generally a Costco jeans girl, or TJ Maxx, if I find a decent pair. But I’ve never spent big on designer jeans. I kind of wonder what all the hype is. But some people swear by their super spendy trendy bottoms. You’ll have to let us know if you find something you love!
Brilliant idea on that digital piano! Amazingly enough, our grand piano has the feature to hook in headphones and be played silently (we had no idea when we bought it!) but after a riotous game of tag, the headphones were ruined and they are super expensive so I haven’t replaced them. But I think it might be worth the investment (maybe at the expense of a new pair of jeans – haha!)
I skimmed through the comments and am surprised that more didn’t mention Madewell for jeans. I was planning to splurge on a pair of jeans from Madewell in a few weeks when my body is somewhat back to “normal” after my second baby. But, maybe I should head to Nordstrom instead.
I actually bought a pair of jeans from Madewell last year and promptly returned them. I know others love them, but they weren’t for me (I can’t remember what fit they were, but for the price, I kind of hated them). I’ve had great luck at Nordstrom (Nordstrom Rack in particular)
My favorite jeans lately are Articles of Society from Nordstrom, around $60-$70 so not a bad price point. Wit & Wisdom are also good and about the same price range also from Nordstrom’s. I would love to come chat and eat brownies in your kitchen-my favorite dessert and so many of your brownie recipes are my families favorite!! I love your new Friday segment.
Thanks, Stacy!
I think since you teach your kids piano, that justifies you in buying a nice pair of jeans! I taught my kids until they reached level 3 and then we transitioned to a teacher (now I could buy several pair of nice jeans with what i pay in monthly piano tuition every month!) My clothing budget is now allocated to piano lessons!
That being said, my favorite pair of jeans right now are Riders (curvy skinny fit) from Walmart. I did all kinds of research on cheap jeans that could pass for expensive ones, and these were at the top of the list. I’ve worn the same pair almost everyday for two years and they’ve held up beautifully.
I’d love to see what jeans you end up with! Fun post! 🙂
haha, I love your justification, Molly! 🙂
I keep saying I’m going to teach my kids piano lessons. I know enough and have a keyboard, but just haven’t made the time yet. Ugh. Someday! I’m going to see if my library has that parenting book you suggested! My 2 oldest have personalities that couldn’t be more different and it’s hard to figure out how to parent them. As for jeans, we live frugally because we have too. I hate shopping for and spending money on clothes. My go to jeans are from Maurice’s and cost about $30. I feel good in them. They are good quality and for me are a good price point.
P.S. I’d totally come over and eat brownies and talk about that article!
Wish we could make that PS a reality! 🙂 And honestly, about the jeans, the biggest requirement is feeling great in them, so that’s awesome you found the ones you love!
I’ve spent about $100 on my past two pairs of jeans. I got them from J Crew. They are with every penny! I wear them basically every day. They are exactly what I want, I love the way I feel when I wear them, they are good quality, and they look nice. In the past I owned 5 pairs of jeans from Old Navy and I never really liked any of them. In my opinion, and good pair of jeans is really important. I think around $100 will by you good quality, and a price tag above that is mainly just for the brand name.
I agree with you, Anne! Someone mentioned on Instagram today that if you figure the cost per wear, it makes more sense (like $15 for a sweater you wear once is actually more ‘expensive’ than a $100 pair of jeans you wear 200 times).