Friday Thoughts
Well first of all, thanks for the huge amount of support, comments, feedback, and LOVE on the Friday Thoughts I posted a couple weeks ago!
I read every single comment and jotted down a thousand ideas and notes (and ordered some of the books you suggested, checked out some online work out videos). Basically, you guys are the best!
Today’s Random Friday Thoughts!
{I honestly welcome each and every thought YOU want to share in the comments, too!}
1) Honest Mom Thought: I’m not an expert pianist (not even close), but I do teach my kids piano lessons. You know, to save money and avoid leaving the house and to honor that this might be the only useful talent I can pass on to them…even though it comes at a cost to my mental sanity. And lately I’ve been left with this question: is it wrong to pass off a piano song they’ve been working on just so I don’t have to hear it one.more.dang.time? Even if they haven’t even come close to perfecting it?
Am I trashing their worth ethic? Stalling their piano progression? Ruining them for life?
Actually, you know what? I don’t care, because I literally think Indian Dance and The Spinning Song are going to put me in my grave…or at the very least send me rocking in the corner in the fetal position with my stash of chocolate chips.
2) Self-Control Thought: a few of my kids reached a huge milesetone this week that I’ve mentioned a time or two on my blog the last year. These two dudes went an entire year WITHOUT EATING SWEETS!
It was insane (and exhausting and inspiring) watching their self-control! All four boys started the challenge in March 2017, and the almighty 10- and 12-year old finished strong. The other two boys clearly have my DNA (gimme all the chocolate). The two who persevered didn’t give up all sugar, but they did give up all blatant sweets: cookies, cakes, cupcakes, muffins, fruit snacks, anything chocolate, brown sugar or powdered sugar on crepes, brownies, juice, and things like that. They still ate homemade jam on their pancakes/french toast and enjoyed all sorts of fresh fruit.
When we realized they were serious about doing this challenge (a couple months in), we told them we’d give them some money if they finished (and in the end, it worked out that their generous dad decided to split the unearned winnings of the two brothers who dropped out between the two winners, also), and that helped fuel the self-control fire, I’m sure.
I was positive that when they ended their year long sweets fast at least one of them would vomit as they made up for lost time and consumed their bodyweight in sugar, but surprisingly, they were wise enough to realize that too many sweets were going to make them feel sick after an entire year without, and they exercised some caution (except for my 10-year old who loves donuts more than life, wants to be a gourmet donut shop owner when he grows up, and ate three of the “gourmet, grocery store” donuts for breakfast).
3) Parenting Thought: after many recommendations on my deep thoughts a few weeks ago, I bought this book: How To Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. It was written in 1980 and is a little old school like my other favorite parenting book, but that vibe kind of jives with me (affiliate links for books).
I’m only a couple chapters in but I am loving it. I’ve put a few of the beginning principles into action with my kids already (listening with full attention, putting a name to their feelings, and validating their feelings – yes even for full-on tantrums – and it has been amazing to see the change in my relationship with a few of my kids where our interactions often end in a power struggle). Some of the dialogue and examples in the book are outdated and lack an emotional component, but it’s easy to extrapolate the examples to myself, and I am finding a lot of value in the guiding principles just in the last few weeks. Thank you to those of you who recommended this one!
And on a quick other parenting note, my dear friend, Deb, sent me this article from Your Modern Family, and it was fascinating to me. So fascinating. I wish we were all crowded in my kitchen shoving brownies in our faces and talking about this article together (wanna come over?). I don’t agree with 100% of the article, but a good portion of it speaks to me as a mom (especially the “let them be bored” and “let them lose” philosophies, as well as putting down my own phone and setting boundaries). Have you read this article? What did you think?
4) Fashion Thought: Finally, let’s end this conversation with a very deep, philosophical question? How much is too much to spend on a pair of jeans? No really, I want to know what you think. Do you have an absolute favorite, can’t-live-without pair of jeans? If so, how much did they cost you? And if you nearly had to sell your firstborn to afford them, was it worth it? Inquiring minds want to know.
Later, skaters!
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196 Comments on “Friday Thoughts”
I remember seeing a comment about jeans/jeggings from Amazon that are magical and aren’t super expensive, but now I don’t see the comment. Anyone know what I’m talking about?
I was taught in my early years by my mother. As I read your post I wondered what would happen if the student could pass on a song that they were not into. Maybe earn an incentive coupon earned after a good week or two of practice to be saved until needed. 50 years later I still am not fond of the Spinning song!
Such a fun post, so enjoy the blog and fun posts
I taught all 3 of my kids piano with the best help ever, I found http://www.letsplaymusicsite.com when my kids were preschoolers and LOved the curriculum so much I ended up certifying as a teacher
It is so amazing if you are looking for music or piano classes for your kids
0-4 (Sound Beginnings)
4-6 (LPM)
7-12 Presto check out the website for more info
I buy jeans at Costco The Buffalo DavidBritton are the softest and like $20!?
I make your cheesy chicken, kale, sweet potato skillet any time we get kale in our produce basket! Shared that recipe so many times
Delish over rice, in a tortilla, or with broccoli and or/zoodles for low carb
Okay, so I think this post was inspired. Seriously. 🙂 I came here looking for your honey lime enchiladas recipe, and somehow stumbled on this post. I have tried off and on to teach my oldest two kids piano over the past year or so (I used to teach, before I had so many kids), and have finally been feeling ready to make a real attempt (this time with my husband on board and willing to watch the younger three while I teach). I love all the advice you’ve got here, especially about thinking about what skills the song teaches, and that volume=more sight reading practice. And also I love hearing fellow moms who teach their own kids, as most people I talk to (I used to be one of them) say they would never teach their own kids. But hauling 5 kids around to wait in the car during the lessons… yikes, not happening. 🙂
For parenting I’ve really been enjoying the instagram account @simplyonpurpose. She focuses on positive parenting and had so many good book recommendations in her highlights.
Hey Mel! I think good jeans are always worth it. Personally though, I always buy American Eagle. They last for years, are so comfy with the right amount of stretch, and come in so many styles and sizes (I’m pretty tall so I always buy extra long). My personal faves are the super stretch jeggings, but I have other styles I like too! I can’t speak to the bootcut because I’m a skinny jeans kind of gal, but worth giving a shot. You can usually get 2 pairs for around $100 (or even less if there’s a good sale).
I’m a tall girl too and the vast majority of my jeans/pants are from American Eagle! I just got a pair for $30 (love the jegs too) and they often have a BOGO 50%. Long live AE pants!
I love this Mel! First – jeans!! I have definitely learned that a good pair of jeans is worth every penny!! I used to be a sale shopper on every item of clothes and shoes I bought, but I have learned that splurging on a great pair of jeans is SO worth it! They make a HUGE difference in how they fit you and therefor HOW YOU FEEL in them!!! I don’t totally go crazy, Silver jeans is a brand I love that are technically not “designer” but fit like designer and they are usually around $80-$90, but I would not be opposed to spending up to $200 for an awesome pair. Plus they will last you for years. Same with shoes (Jeans for my kids I only spend about $8 a pair at Children’s Place, less when I have a coupon, which makes me very happy) Do it, buy a good pair, you will be so happy!!
I love that your boys did no sweets! Ok, so funny story for you, I totally did this as a kid! We didn’t have a whole lot of money when I was a kid and so we didn’t usually have treats in our house, my mom would make cookies and cakes on some Sundays but candy was something that was such treat that anytime we got our own money we would walk to the little market by our house and spend it on candy. So my mom got wise and offered us $100 if we could go year with out candy. Several of my siblings and I did it in elementary school. Then I decided in Jr. High to up the challenge and did a year with out any sweets at all, including soda. I did this in 8th grade and then again in 10th! After going a year with out soda, I no longer liked it and could not stand the carbonation anymore, so I have been soda free since I was 15. The treats on the other hand are an entirely different story!! I don’t know what has happened to me, it must be the stress of being a mom, but I am positive I would DIE if I had to go without sweets now!! I seriously can not fathom how I did ZERO SWEETS for 2 years of my life!!! Which speaking of, I am dying to make those bars you posted yesterday and am seriously tempted to make them while my kids are at school today so I can enjoy a warm one with vanilla ice cream all by myself!!
You’re the best Mel!!
Oh and good luck with the piano thing! I can’t imagine teaching my own kids. I love the piano and wish I was better, I took some lessons as a kid but didn’t get to do it long enough to get very good, (really good story about how amazing my mom was I’ll have to tell you later) so I pay dang good money for my kids to take lessons from a professional teacher ($80 a month per kid, 2 kids in now, one will start this fall) but I do think it’s worth every penny for that too! Having them taught correctly is super important to me! So if you’re losing your mind, I totally think it’s worth the cost to pay a professional teacher!
I used to not be able to pay more than $30 for jeans but had a really hard time finding any that fit just right. I have a small waist with bigger rump and thighs so either the waist was too big or the legs and seat too tight. I have discovered that upping my price point by like $20 has been totally worth it! I now limit myself to $50 and shop at American Eagle for my jeans. This has been so hard for me to spend that money and I usually only do it like once maybe twice a year and try to buy them on sale but I actually don’t mind wearing jeans now where as before I was all about leggings and yoga pants (don’t get me wrong I still wear yoga pants like 80% of the time).
You are a great pianist and organist too. Congratulations to those cute boys for sticking with their ‘no sugar’ goal!! I couldn’t get them to eat any delicious cake, candy or cookies I offered them. I really didn’t think they could do it but send them over for the quarter we promised each of them. (big spender) You are a great mother and example Melanie. Thanks for all your wonderful family does for us. We love and appreciate you!
IT’S OKAY TO MOVE ON FROM SONGS THAT YOU HATE. Or that are uninspiring to your kids. This is when it’s great to have an alternative method book that you turn to sometimes; especially if they’re not ready to move to the next song but aren’t excited by what they’re doing. (I love Piano Pronto for this, as well as Bastien Basics lesson and technic books).
I won’t pay more than $30 for a pair of jeans, and they’d better be KILLER but I am a cheapskate. My friends pay up to $150 for a good pair of jeans, I think they’re nuts.
Hi Mel, I just needed to say that I’m a professional music teacher and yes, it is ok to just pass your kids’ pieces off if they’re not working well with them. Especially with my very beginning students, I’ll give a piece three weeks (sometimes only two!) and then we’ll cross it off and move onto something else if it’s just not working. Saves their sanity as well as yours. 🙂
Also I just need to tell you that I love your recipes! I discovered your website two years ago this week (!) and I have really fallen in love with it. Thank you for helping me become a better cook and for helping me learn to love cooking!
Great post Mel! This mom is finally taking a few minutes to catch on some good reads (yours!). I played the piano as a child and regret now that I quit when my mom gave me the out. I guess I didn’t think it was cool at the time but wish now I had stuck with it and could teach my own kids how to play. My older daughter (9) starts guitar lessons on Sunday so I’m excited for her. Let’s discuss jeans. Jeans are like shoes for me. I have paid up to $220 and as low as $60 bucks. I wore Joes for years and now I’m wearing more variety – JCrew, Pilcro from Anthro, Citizens. I also now look for jeans on sale. (now that I have kids and they cost money. Ha Ha 🙂 I’m definitely going to check out that parenting book on listening. We could use more of that in our house. Happy Thursday!
I have bought jeans in every price range up to 120.00. I can honestly say I love the Levi’s brand Denizen from Walmart price point 19.99 and the Mossimo brand st Target that they
Don’t make anymore at
22.00.They all come close to my waist and have some nice stretch for when My weight fluctuates some. The NYC brand that we’re 120.00 I had to give away unworn because the fit was awful. When I find some that are that inexpensive that fit I buy several pair.
Ok Mel, long time follower of your blog. I love love love your blog and I refer to you like a friend even though you have no idea I exist. So I have a question. I told my boys about the no sweets challenge that your boys did and they readily accepted (they wrangled me in as well…sigh…)! I don’t know how long it will last…but I have two birthdays and Easter coming up in the next two weeks. What did you do?! I am racking my brain trying to think of “healthy” desserts and have come up dry. Any thoughts you have would be appreciated. 🙂
That’s a great question, Erin (and tell your boys way to go – and you, too!!). We found a couple fun ways to get through the holidays. They might sound kind of lame, but when you aren’t eating sweets, you’d be surprised at what sounds fun and yummy! I stocked a LOT of fresh fruit – and several varieties that we didn’t always keep on hand, so they always had that as an option. Their go-to favorite dessert when we were having a treat was yogurt (I buy low sugar brands or make my own so it’s not overly sweet) with granola. Again, not super exciting, but they loved it! But there were also the times our cousins made homemade sno cones and the boys were over there eating plain ice in their cups. It takes serious determination! If you and your boys make it a year, we’ll send you something special! 🙂
Love all your honest parenting questions that I am also asking myself!! I’m getting lots of great info from your commenters so you are helping all of us also. I recently found a book from Focus on the Family called “Gist: the essence of raising life-ready kids”, this book has given me a lot to think about, especially regarding getting my emotions out of my parenting. I also like “Boundaries with your kids” and “Simpicity Parenting” and “How to raise an adult”. I think I read to many parenting books, and now I have a few more after your blog posts :). Thanks for all the great food and love the Friday thoughts posts!!!
Haha, there are SO many parenting books out there! I like to take the general ideas and use them as guidelines. It’s easy to get overwhelmed. Thanks for the other suggestions!
Hi Mel, I just read this blog and then your blog and it felt meant to be. The Mom Edit just posted a guide to buying skinny (and some not as skinny) jeans. http://themomedit.com/ They show both designer and non-designer jeans at different price points. It may be helpful! The amount of research they put in jeans is equivalent to the amount of research you put into a new recipe! Impressive on both fronts!
I’m so excited to check out that article, Eliza! Thank you!
How to Talk is one of my faves too! I feel like No Drama Discipline is a great add-on to that as well. Lots of the same concepts, but with lots of new info too. The nerd in me loves the information about their brains. 😉 My husband teaches our kids piano too, and there’s been many times when we wonder if it’s worth the loss of sanity. We discovered Piano Marvel, and that’s helped a lot with practice time. It turns practice into a game (see how high you can score) but we had to convert to a digital piano. The side benefit of that is they can practice with headphones on, which helps with my sanity too.
Yes on the digital piano!!! I taught my kids piano until they out played me.
That practicing game sounds awesome!
Loft Jeans—-my go to jeans. Generally around $80, but they always have sales. Love how they fit and hold up.
My friend swears by those jeans, too!
I just spent $188 on a pair of non-frayed, regular length jeans. I’m 46, I’m 5’9 and I have a bootie from my years of working out (read: I’m not a complete stick). These jeans are the result of a 3 month search because my beloved Page jeans finally wore out after 5 years and they don’t make the style I wore anymore. I’ll pay the big bucks for my staple items because I know I’ll wear them forever….or for at least 5 years… lol!
For my kiddos, (18,16,11) I also spend decent money because my kids are freakishly tall and Target jeans just don’t come long enough.
Well now I’m dying of curiosity to know what brand of jeans those are, Stacy!
Indian dance….hahahaha…. Yes, it is OK to let it go. Heck I let my daughter quit lessons at 14 even when my gut said NO! My oldest started at age 5 because she was teaching herself anyway. She loved it until she started flute and quit…then she got a boyfriend who played also…She taught him to play “A River Flows In You” by Yiruma. It is the most beautiful song. She played it at age 13 for my niece’s wedding. I have never, ever tired of it. I highly recommend. I am guessing one of them will play it at their own wedding. ugh…can’t believe I have a kid old enough to do that.
Maybe I should have someone pay me to give up sweets. Ever since I went on a diet, all of your recipes have been sweet. I really, really want a poppyseed lemon muffin.
I love that song, Beth! My 16-year old cousin plays it all the time, and I agree, it is so beautiful! Way better than Indian Dance and the Spinning Song. 🙂 Haha.
Mel,
You are just the best! I love your recipes they are amazing. I think am your number one fan. I live in South America and it is hard to find food as good as yours here. Thank you for everything!
Thank you! 🙂
I started buying my jeans at Madewell and I will NEVER go back. They’re usually about $120-140 and often go on sale for about $20 off. Worth it though. You can wear and wear and never need to wash to get them back to original shape. They don’t stretch. Best jeans I’ve ever worn. I’m a minimalist with clothes though, so I’m fine just rotating a couple nice pairs of jeans instead of having several cheaper ones.
I wish I could go to a store and try them on in person. I bought one pair online a while back and everything about them was just awful. But I know there are so many different fit/style options, and I’ve heard so many people rave about them! I just need to get the sizing and style right.
I agree. I tried several on in the store and found a good fit but several styles of the same size were no bueno. I ordered a pair online thinking the style was similar to the one I purchased in-store, but it wasn’t. So true about keeping shape! They wear so much longer than other jeans. Love them.
They sell them (Madewell) at Nordstroms, and it is free return shipping. You just order a bunch, try them on, put all of them back in the box that you don’t like, and drop it off at the post office. The return sticker is already in the box. Nordstroms also has a brand that I have tried and really love called Wit and Wisdom that is more in the 40-80$ range. I am willing to put out a pretty penny for jeans if I find a pair that I really like. It is a pain in the butt shopping for jeans, so when I actually find some that I love…I feel like it is usually worth the money as long as they are going to be used a lot and last a while. I don’t have time to go to 50 different stores to try on every pair of jeans in existence. Time is money and money is time, and all of it is my sanity. Also, I have maybe never found a pair of jeans that I have really liked for under $40. When you have a round booty and thicker thighs, you have to be picky with your jeans. Sometimes I wonder if I upped my standards and tried on some really, really nice jeans ($100 +) maybe I will be stunned by the quality and never go back…but for now, I usually spend $60-80.
Also, I have been following you for probably 8 years, but I think we might be in the same stake now. We just moved into the area recently. So, that’s kind of fun.
1. Ha Ha! Indian Dance… You are klingng me. My oldest turns 5 this summer and I still haven’t decided if I have it in me to teach him. Not sure if you helped push me in one direction or the other .
2. Amazing. Wish I could do it!
3. I love this discussion. I can definitely use help in this area and appreciate the insight and recommendations. I also need to work on putting down my phone. Good article.
4. Boo to shopping for denim. I am still post pregnancy fat but have found some sweet deals at the local savers. I like seven and
Kut from the kloth but I am going to look for Paige and Hudson now.
As usual, thanks for everything, Mel. You are my favorite!
Thanks, Angela!
Angela, I’ve had better luck teaching piano to boys waiting until they’re about 8 years old.
I love how real you are, Mel. You are so relatable. I teach my kids piano as well. They are able to earn 3 points per lesson: 1 for playing their songs well, 1 for attitude, and 1 for counting. When they earn 3 points they get a piece of candy. I feel like it takes some of the pressure off of me because they know what is expected without me having to constantly remind them. And I don’t tell them how many points they’ve earned until the end of the lesson so they can’t complain about it until after. These piano tips from all the comments have been helpful to read.
Ok, Jenny, your advice was lifechanging for me. I implemented the same thing today, and I know it’s probably just the honeymoon period, but my kids loved it, and I didn’t nag nearly as much. THANK YOU!!!!
Also–another awesome old-school parenting book is So You Want to Raise a Boy by Cleon Skousen. It’s very old-fashioned but has so much good stuff in it. I think I’m going to buy How to Talk so Kids Will Listen–you’re the second person I’ve seen recommending it in about a week. Must be a winner. Thanks!
I misread that to say “So You Want to Raise a Boy to be Cleon Skousen.” – made me smile.
Thanks for the recommendation, Anna! A couple other people recommended that book, too. Sounds like an oldie but a goodie.
I am impressed that you continue to teach your own kids! I am a piano teacher with lots of students, and I taught my own kids for a while, but it got way to hard to be consistent! I am huge believer in moving on when the song is close enough! As for jeans, I always spend at least $80 on a pair. I can almost always find something I really like at Nordstrom Rack, but I have occasionally gone to the real Nordstrom and found something on sale. I love Joe’s jeans, they are so amazing and they wear so well. I’ve tried lots of different designer jeans, and they are consistently my favorite!
I’ve heard a lot of great things about Joes jeans, Carey! I’ll have to try on a pair!
About the jeans–if you can afford them new and will wear them forever, it’s okay to go for it. If you know exactly what you like and want to spend less, look for it at thredup.com and swap.com. They aren’t necessarily the best for trying new things, but if you know what you are looking for you can sometimes find great deals on it there. Then you get the great jeans PLUS the satisfaction of being thrifty. Totally worth looking at before buying new, in my opinion.
(And I must say I hate jeans shopping. I have a 7-month-old and am still in my maternity jeans because 1. the weight doesn’t want to just fall off this time, darn it, and 2. I finally bought good maternity jeans this time around, with baby #6, at the stores I mentioned, and they are the only jeans I can find that look good on me. So I’m rocking the maternity jeans and probably will be for a while–but at least they’re good ones!)
Hey, no shame in rocking those maternity jeans still, my friend!
I hear ya on the piano – I might have heard Martin play the Indian Dance sound about a million times this year!
Hahahaha. 🙂
gosh I miss you! After writing a parenting column in our local newspaper for 10 years I can tell you that no one has all the answers, so it’s helpful to read and ask and research and talk about everything and to everyone. Because as you probably have realized what works with one won’t work with another child. Some of the best parenting advice comes from the “old school”. We have a sweet neighbor who is 89 and is a favorite sunday school teacher with the 14 year-olds. I think it’s because she is old school and they respect it. well, that’s enough–tell the boys their “other grandparents” said, “Well Done”.
I miss you so much, too!! And I’m realizing that the “old school” advice just jives with me. I love that your neighbor is perfect for those 14-year olds!
First of all, thank you for being a wonderful influence for good on the internet. I love your advocacy for women and motherhood and family and truth. I, of course, also love your recipes; so many have become what we call in our family “Make-agains”:). Since I follow your blog and we’re now best friends online (as, I’m sure, all your readers feel they are:), I want to share something with you that was and continues to be absolutely life-changing for me as a mother. I’ve read literally dozens of parenting books. I taught parenting at BYU, am the mother of 4, and I’m a marriage and family therapist. I don’t say this to boast in any way, just to illustrate that I’ve had some experience with parenting literature and training. I loved the “How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen” books by Faber and Mazlish when I came across them and I loved the Glenn Latham parenting books when I came across them (I read the one you recommended and his earlier, bigger book as well). Parenting with Love and logic, Child Whisperer, and so many more. They were all helpful. But still I could not figure out how to be calm and kind instead of reacting to any given situation. A friend recommended “A House United: Changing Children’s Hearts and Behaviors by Teaching Self Government” by Nicholeen Peck. I bought a copy maybe three years ago but only started it. I’d heard it was “too strict” and that turned me off. Randomly, I received an email for a free webinar last October by Nicholeen and during it, I knew without doubt that I was supposed to buy her Implementation Course and read her book. So I bought it (Gulp. $199 and that was on sale!) However, I was just telling my husband two days ago (for the hundredth time:) that it was one of the best investments we’ve ever made. Ever. Now I know how to respond with love and calm instead of frustration and anger. I am still far from perfect, but I can’t tell you how it’s changed me and my interaction with our kids. Her parenting approach is all about how correction is connection. It’s true. When done the way she teaches (a method she learned from the Utah Village foster care program), with love first, correction really does create closer connection. As you can tell by this novel, I could go on and on. But I cannot believe how arguing, whining, complaining, and my own outbursts have diminished. Truly a miracle after 12 years of desperately praying and seeking help help to be calm and kind no matter what situation the kids throw at me or how grumpy/tired I am. Nicholeen’s book is okay on its own. But I really needed the implementation course AND the book to understand the why behind the practices and all her tips on how to apply the principles and “skills.” I am in no way affiliated with Nicholeen or her business. I simply related so much to your Friday thoughts about not getting caught up in the emotion of parenting that I wanted to share what’s been life changing for our family. Hope this is helpful. She has quite a bit of free stuff out there and I’m happy to send some of our favorites along if you’re interested. Best wishes from one mommy to another. Here’s her website: https://teachingselfgovernment.com
Thank you so much, Cari! Another commenter down below mentioned the self government course (I’m assuming it is the same one), and I will definitely look into it just for additional help and reference. I love ideas like this! Thank you!
That book is my all time favorite for getting through to my kids in a positive, personal way. They need to be heard! The other one that hits home for me is “Christlike Parenting”- it is such a good compliment to the book you mentioned. Those two books plus relying on the Spirit as you look at each of your kids and try your best to be their mother on an individual basis. They each are unique and need your own uniqueness as their mother… focused on just them as an individual. You are awesome- and good luck with the Jeans- can’t help you there.
Thanks, Sarah!
My go to pants right now are from motherhood maternity, that will end in another 2 1/2 months As for parenting I find the biggest struggle is consultancy for me. Parenting is a lot of work. So I guess I’m Getting a lot of practice developing a good work ethic. We use TSG (teaching self government) it’s a program that you are basically teaching your kids to self govern themselves so their prepared for adulthood. It requires a lot more envolvment and I am not perfect at it, but after implementing it for the first 3 weeks my 12 yr old said “I like our family better. We’re a lot nicer now.” So it’s working for us. We’ve been using it for almost a year now. I’m learning to control my reaction much more and find it’s a lot easier to stay calm because no matter the situation I know exactly what to say and how to handle it.
As for piano, I’ve played for 30 yrs and I can say perfection isn’t required to progress. (That rings true for more than piano to me in life). Keep going, you’re doing great and inspiring us along the way!
That sounds like such an interesting program, Brenda! And good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! 🙂
Mel, I will pay $100- $125 for a pair of well fitting jeans. I wash them in Woolite for dark clothes, gentle cycle and hang to dry. I’ve never had a problem with fading and they last forever. I buy for fit and try on every pair, even if they are the same brand and size. I wear athletic clothes around the house and only wear my jeans when I go out.
Thanks, Julia! I definitely think I need to start washing my nicer jeans/clothes differently (and not drying them!).
I’ve always loved Lucky Brand Jeans but haven’t bought a pair in years. I want a pair of Levi’s. Wear mostly Old Navy (rockstar) and Gap (girlfriend) jeans. P.s. I love your blog
Thank you, Katie!
I was in your same mental place with jeans a couple years ago. Found and loved Paige jeans (on sale). Then when they got holes in them was on the hunt again and the other Paige jeans I found just didn’t fit the same. I wound up ordering a bunch of jeans from Nordstrom rack to try. Enough that shipping was free and I could try a bunch and return them in store. Most were awful but I found “the one” for me and it was Hudson. And since it was on sale at Nordstrom rack they were a reasonable price for me. (Can’t recall precisely but probably between $60-80)
I super love the book Parenting Without Power Struggles. More current feel than the how to talk books. I loved the audio version from my library so much that I bought a physical copy to be able to reference. It feels like what the simplyonpurpose account used (among other things I’m sure) to get to her view on parenting. Anyway, it was a game changer for me and I agree with whoever said they can’t handle more parenting books. This one was worth it for me.
Also, I don’t teach my kids piano, but I think moving on from a piece doesn’t have to mean it’s “passed off.” You don’t have to say “this is perfect now we can move forward.” But you can say, “we’ve worked on this enough, let’s move on to something else.” The work goes on either way!
Hudson jeans have been my favorites ever, too (although the pair I had and loved got holes so I’m on the hunt for another and I think Nordstrom Rack is the place to look). Thanks for the book recommendation!
we had a piano teacher once who would not pass off a song until it was perfected – oh shoot me! the kids did not make as much progress as they do now with a teacher who lets them move on when they’ve gotten what they need to from a piece – not every song is a recital piece! She does make them perfect and memorize 2 or 3 recital pieces a year! She’s also let them get rid of songs if they just don’t like them! love her for that – best teacher we’ve ever had!
JCrew factory jeans – perfect balance – great jeans – not as pricey and there’s always a sale going on – love them!
Well, that convinces me, Deb. I’m going to let them start moving on with songs even more than I already do!
Hmm… my last comment didn’t post. My kids boycotted jeans a long time ago. My boys wear sweatpants or shorts. My daughters wear The Children’s Place yoga pants or shorts. Basically anything soft. My husband doesn’t even wear jeans. I’m the only one in the family who wears jeans. I find mine at Goodwill for $8 a pair (score!!!!). The most I remember spending on a new pair of jeans is $20 for stretchy jeans at Walmart.
As for piano lessons, do you know about the keyboard lessons the Church has? It’s free!!! https://www.lds.org/music/accompanying-others/keyboard-course?lang=eng&_r=1 Your post reminded me of it. And your boys have great self control to not have added sweets for a whole year!!! Here I am with a peanut butter and honey sandwich at 3 AM to hold me over until breakfast. #MidnightSnackWin Thanks for your yummy recipes!
Thanks for the link, Nina!!
Thredup has a bunch of Hudson Collin jeans for less than $30!
Serious??
Love to read your thoughts. Here are a few of mine – I have two boys taking piano lessons. They started with a new teacher in August. And an interesting thing about her is she gives them fun music that goes with their individual interests – Harry Potter, Star Wars, Charlie Brown, Lego Movie, etc, and holiday songs like for Halloween and Christmas. Most of their songs don’t come from piano lesson books. And they LOVE taking lessons. Their teacher has been teaching for probably 30+ years and is great at getting them excited and keeping their interest. And so far I haven’t been getting tired of hearing them practice (most of the time.) They still play at a pretty basic level but their teacher is able to find versions of popular songs at their level.
Also – I saw a recommendation for that parenting book years ago and really enjoyed it. I don’t always remember everything from it but I always try to keep in mind “Acknowledge their feelings” and I think just that helps a lot.
I love this, Maria! The comments in this thread about piano lessons are so helpful. I’m definitely going to change how I do things!
I’m super duper restrictive with clothing cost–much rather spend my money on vacation or organic foods or electronics. My favorite jeans cost $8 secondhand at Savers ($6 at Deseret Industries). They’re from a variety of high-end boutiques as well as the more common brands like Old Navy or American Eagle, etc. Most women don’t wear out their jeans–just shop for new ones, so they’re a quality item to get secondhand. A friend taught me to browse the racks more efficiently by 1) look at the pockets first, if you like the pockets then 2) look at the bottom hem for cut–boot, skinny, straight, etc then 3) look at the front for desired closure and overall quality condition. You can zip through a rack really quickly in this search order. I love the price, and also that the jeans already washed, so they don’t surprise me and go wonky the first time they’re laundered!
GREAT feedback on getting through clearance racks. Love that!
On the music thing about saying enough is enough and moving on to new music, I would say a resounding YES!! Not every song has to be brought to perfection. Some music is good just for sight reading. I think, too, there are songs one loves that you want to make them the very best and then there is music you are just *meh* about so why prolong the agony! 🙂 On the parenting article, I have grown children, so am a bit old school but yes, let kids be bored, they become creative they can figure stuff out. Having art supplies and craft supplies like tp rolls and paper and markers and glue and tape so they can make things or build things. And losing, yes, it is important to know how to lose gracefully. It is also important to learn how to win gracefully. Love your blog and recipes!
Thanks for the comment, Pat!
Absolutely okay to let them move on (I am a piano teacher myself)! Remember that you want to keep their sanity and enjoyment of music just as much as your own. They can grow really discouraged or bored if they are having to work on the same pieces for too long, especially if its something they really don’t enjoy or its especially challenging for them. If “too challenging” is the issue, then remember that you can keep working on that same concept or technique with a different piece. If you’re not doing it every week and with every piece, you’re not going to hurt their work ethic. May be helpful to say something like “I know this one isn’t perfect yet, but you’ve worked hard on it and we can go ahead and move on to something new.” (If you know they haven’t worked hard, though–now that’s a different story :)) Of course, you want them to learn to be able and desire to “perfect” pieces, so having a recital or other performance venue is a great opportunity and motivator for getting something “performance-ready”, and makes the learning process more enjoyable since they have an outlet for using it. Maybe set something up with a group of friends whose children also play one Saturday afternoon at your church. Or go play for a nursing home–the residents would LOVE that, and your children would learn more than just performance skills. I teach my own kids too, so I know how challenging it can be! Good for you for sticking to it!
This may sound a bit extravagant and unorthodox when it comes to piano lessons. But, although we have a lovely piano, we purchased a digital piano that we put in a bonus room, away from the main areas of the house. It has headphones. When I am tired of hearing the lovely music on the regular piano, (i.e. about to go crazy) I call for a digital practice session! It has saved our piano relationship many times… and, it lets me keep the years-old dream alive of someday using that digital piano to create sheet music for my own hymn arrangements.:)
On jeans… I think I am also curious to see what your other readers have to say. I’m generally a Costco jeans girl, or TJ Maxx, if I find a decent pair. But I’ve never spent big on designer jeans. I kind of wonder what all the hype is. But some people swear by their super spendy trendy bottoms. You’ll have to let us know if you find something you love!
Brilliant idea on that digital piano! Amazingly enough, our grand piano has the feature to hook in headphones and be played silently (we had no idea when we bought it!) but after a riotous game of tag, the headphones were ruined and they are super expensive so I haven’t replaced them. But I think it might be worth the investment (maybe at the expense of a new pair of jeans – haha!)
I skimmed through the comments and am surprised that more didn’t mention Madewell for jeans. I was planning to splurge on a pair of jeans from Madewell in a few weeks when my body is somewhat back to “normal” after my second baby. But, maybe I should head to Nordstrom instead.
I actually bought a pair of jeans from Madewell last year and promptly returned them. I know others love them, but they weren’t for me (I can’t remember what fit they were, but for the price, I kind of hated them). I’ve had great luck at Nordstrom (Nordstrom Rack in particular)
My favorite jeans lately are Articles of Society from Nordstrom, around $60-$70 so not a bad price point. Wit & Wisdom are also good and about the same price range also from Nordstrom’s. I would love to come chat and eat brownies in your kitchen-my favorite dessert and so many of your brownie recipes are my families favorite!! I love your new Friday segment.
Thanks, Stacy!
I think since you teach your kids piano, that justifies you in buying a nice pair of jeans! I taught my kids until they reached level 3 and then we transitioned to a teacher (now I could buy several pair of nice jeans with what i pay in monthly piano tuition every month!) My clothing budget is now allocated to piano lessons!
That being said, my favorite pair of jeans right now are Riders (curvy skinny fit) from Walmart. I did all kinds of research on cheap jeans that could pass for expensive ones, and these were at the top of the list. I’ve worn the same pair almost everyday for two years and they’ve held up beautifully.
I’d love to see what jeans you end up with! Fun post! 🙂
haha, I love your justification, Molly! 🙂
I keep saying I’m going to teach my kids piano lessons. I know enough and have a keyboard, but just haven’t made the time yet. Ugh. Someday! I’m going to see if my library has that parenting book you suggested! My 2 oldest have personalities that couldn’t be more different and it’s hard to figure out how to parent them. As for jeans, we live frugally because we have too. I hate shopping for and spending money on clothes. My go to jeans are from Maurice’s and cost about $30. I feel good in them. They are good quality and for me are a good price point.
P.S. I’d totally come over and eat brownies and talk about that article!
Wish we could make that PS a reality! 🙂 And honestly, about the jeans, the biggest requirement is feeling great in them, so that’s awesome you found the ones you love!
I’ve spent about $100 on my past two pairs of jeans. I got them from J Crew. They are with every penny! I wear them basically every day. They are exactly what I want, I love the way I feel when I wear them, they are good quality, and they look nice. In the past I owned 5 pairs of jeans from Old Navy and I never really liked any of them. In my opinion, and good pair of jeans is really important. I think around $100 will by you good quality, and a price tag above that is mainly just for the brand name.
I agree with you, Anne! Someone mentioned on Instagram today that if you figure the cost per wear, it makes more sense (like $15 for a sweater you wear once is actually more ‘expensive’ than a $100 pair of jeans you wear 200 times).
I was shoving brownies in my face when you mentioned shoving brownies in your face. I would say that is ironic, but the likelihood of this happening is really not that surprising when I really think about it. 😀
Hahahahahahaha
1. Remember Heavenly Father and the Savior love us in spite of our imperfections!
4. Jeans bought from thrift stores were/are perfectly acceptable : NEVER followed “trends” from a child on…LOVE your pictures – thanks!
🙂
I love good jeans and unfortunately I’ve found it can be worth it to splurge on designer jeans for better fit/comfort. You sort of have to find the brand that works best with your body type; I love Hudson and Sevens. Nordstrom Rack is definitely a good place to try, but then I also just wait for sales at Nordstrom. Some of these jeans will still be $100+ on sale at Nordstrom (instead of $180-200) but I wear them every day and they last a long time so I think it’s worth it.
I do have a pair from Gap that I like, though, but it’s probably their highest end jean so isn’t cheap either.
I love “How to Talk to Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk”! I find it really challenging to consistently implement but see such good results when I do!
There is also a series of books written by a couple of psychologists that are based on similar principles but probably more up-to-date: Whole Brain Child, No-Drama Discipline, and Brainstorm. You might like those.
Thanks for the recommendation, Erin!
This blog from years ago scared me off of “Gateway Mom Jeans”. I like the barely boot cut and stretch slim (both mid-rise) from Express. They are $80 each but often buy one, get one half off.
http://graspingforobjectivity.com/2012/07/gap.html/
Oh my gosh – this article was amazing! I am throwing out all my Gap and Old navy jeans and starting over. Thank you for sharing!
I agree! That article! Wow.
I do believe name brand make a difference in helping you look the best. That being said, I’m cheap and don’t have a clothes budget! And take note that these opinions are coming from a non-fashionista!! I normally buy jeans at Nordstrom Rack, so I’m getting the brand but not the price. It’s worked for me, and I loved the Hudson, Vigoss, and Paige jeans I bought there last year. They were all $60 or less. That being said, this year I bought some Seven jeans from Sam’s club! I feel like Seven is a good brand though, and they were $20, so I felt good about that!!
On a sugar note, have you tried the Sprinkled Donut Cap’n Crunch cereal? You would probably never feed your kids such sugary cereal, hahaha, but it’s a yummy treat every once in awhile. I just buy some when Smith’s/Kroger has them on for $1.29/79 to have for some fun mornings. Your donut-lover might enjoy those!
I love Nordstrom Rack, too, Brianne! It’s kind of hit and miss though. I don’t go there very often, but when I do, sometimes there’s a great selection and other ties not so much. I guess that’s the price you pay for a great deal when you find one! 🙂 I haven’t tried that cereal, but my kids would probably faint if I did. I’ll have to look for it. My 10-year old would be in heaven.
I’m a piano teacher and a mom (and I teach my kids piano), so I understand about hearing pieces too much! Sometimes when a piece I hate is coming up, I just skip it. 😉 But usually with lesson-book pieces, I look at what concept is being introduced in the piece (5ths? sharps? grace notes?) and make sure that the kid understands the concept completely, even if they haven’t mastered the piece. Or sometimes I’ll find a piece in a different book that introduces the same concept and use that piece instead.
I also have found that the Faber Piano Adventures has significantly fewer annoying pieces than other methods. =) You could also look into the Masterworks Classics series. It doesn’t have very many lower-level pieces, but it’s great for adding “real” classical pieces into a student’s repertoire.
One other thought: there are quite a number of teachers these days who give piano lessons over Skype. I know that cuts down on the need to drive your kids around for one more thing. =)
Thanks for the tips, Katherine. SO helpful!! I literally had no idea about piano lessons over Skype.
I love silver jeans! The Avery and suki styles. They are the only jeans I buy. They are usually $70+. You can find deals online, at Maurice’s and even sometimes on amazon. They fit great and have a higher rise thn most jeans. I think it’s worth it to pay more for a nice pair of jeans.
I agree! My favorite pair right now is a pair of Silver girlfriend jeans, and I wear them almost every day.
So I will weigh in on the jean issue. I have to admit it is a hard one for me-I’m a cheap skate. BUT-I have learned that it is nice to feel good in the clothes I buy and if that means spending more on some key items, then it is worth it. I LOVE the jeans I got from White House black market-they run about $80 but I wear them almost everyday and they have lasted for well over a year. I tend to go shopping for jeans, decide I don’t want to spend the $80 and buy the pair of $20 ones from old navy and hate them but when I buy the ones I love I just feel good while I’m in them. It just means I buy fewer clothes which works out for my laundry hating self as well
I’ve done that many times, too, Deanna! Someone sent me an article today after reading this Friday Thoughts post that basically said think of buying clothes as the price per wear. So if you buy a $15 sweater and wear it once, it costs you $15 every time you wore it. But if you buy a pair of jeans for $100 and wear them 200 times, that’s 50 cents per wear. I kind of like that theory – but you still have to be shelling out the money at the start.
How to Talk so Kids Will Listen is honestly on my shelf right here at home!
Awesome!
I’m not gonna lie. My favorite jeans are Calvin Klein and I get them at my local Costco for $20. I love me some warehouse shopping.
You aren’t the only one who has said their fave jeans are those ones from Costco in this thread!
I love reading your Friday thoughts! I should be starting my son on piano lessons. I’m not an expert pianist either, but there is no reason that I can’t teach my son. I just can’t get motivated. Do you pick one day to teach and then they practice on their own through the week? I just can’t do any more parenting articles or books. I find that I have so much parenting advice running through my head that it’s like I have two opposing tiny mom angels on my shoulders shouting in my ears in every situation – do this . . . no, do that. I needed a break. 😉 but I’m always in for brownies! Speaking of sweets – way to go to your boys! That’s some serious self-control! I’m impressed. Finally, I but all my jeans on thred-up. I find good deals on jeans that were really expensive, but I can’t bear to pay retail.
Oh gosh, I hear you, Christina. I go through phases where I can tolerate more parenting articles and books, but other times, I’m like, no more. And yes, brownies forever. As for piano, ideally I would teach them once a week, but the benefit of doing it at home means we are super flexible. We probably only have official lessons every two weeks, but on a more fluid level, I’ll walk in while the kids are practicing and have them move to another song or help them with a particular scale, etc. Not a perfect system, but it works for us (for now)
Christina, I teach piano as my job, but with my own kids I do it differently. I make sure they practice every day (I’m only good at being consistent over summer and school breaks, though) and I listen to see how they’re doing. When they want a lesson I give one, or I’ll make them move on to harder songs when I decide they’re ready. But our “lessons” are very brief, I introduce a new concept and we go over anything tricky in a new song. Because I’m there all week to help, our lessons can be a lot shorter.
Yes I love that book! My mom in law gave it to me (maybe as a hint hint;) it’s definitely been a favorite and I wish I could wire it all in my brain and think of it in those trying mothering moments. You’re a warrior for teaching your kids, I find it hard enough to get my one to practice! Okay and about the jeans I am a total cheap skate and buy my jeans at Costco ( did I just admit that publicly lol!) I don’t really have a favorite pair though.. maybe that’s why! I love these Friday thoughts and want to check out that article!
Yes! That’s my thing, I can read it and appreciate the advice, but in the moment, I’m not always thinking on my feet and utilizing the advice. Baby steps! And no shame in clothes shopping at Costco! My favorite shirt and vest of all time are from there. 🙂
Hi Mel! I have been a grade school/high school music teacher (band, choir, oboe, piano, both in the school setting and in private lessons) for 8 years. As a music teacher, I had to hear the same songs over and over and over and over and over again. While there are definitely some songs that are classics, I decided to go with the philosophy that in order for my students to play it, I have to like the song. And if I got bored of one eventually, there’s hundreds more to choose from! I found that when I was really enjoying the music, the kids enjoyed it more too. I think your kids will definitely keep learning well if you switch up a few things! What song books are you using?
Ok, well, I’m basically bowing down to you in awe right now for your work as a school music teacher. Having had kids in band and orchestra, I am SO grateful for those music teachers! I definitely need to switch things up! We use a combination of Piano Adventures and Alfred books. But recently I’ve pulled out some of my old piano music I played as a kid and am having my kids sight read some new music.
My favorite inexpensive jeans are Rockstar Mid-rise at Old Navy. They are very stretchy, fit quite a variety of shapes and sizes and have lots of washes/colors.
My favorite relatively expensive jeans are Liverpool (around $80.) They are available on Amazon and at their own website plus Stitchfix loves sending them at they are so versatile and look great on so many. Some of their styles have a wide elastic waistband – ahhh!
I’m loving everyone’s insight into their favorite jeans! And elastic waistband? Dreamy!
I too am a fan of Nordstrom Rack for jeans. My favorite pairs are both Paige and I believe they were around $90.00. I liked them so much, I purchased the same brand/fit in black and white.
I have a pair of Paige black denim I scored for cheap, and I agree, the fit is amazing!
I have thought about your post from a couple weeks ago several times these past weeks as I relate so much to your mothering challenges and personality combo. We are certainly kindred spirits and ironically I looove the “how to talk” books as well!
You are a light in my sometimes isolated and lonely young children mothering years! Thank you!
Ps. Love my Eddie Bauer jeans. Maybe paid $40? They do sales so often it’s easy to watch and get a great deal.
Thanks, Allie! You are so sweet; love that you are here. Thanks for commenting!
Love the Friday thoughts! Shall we just go in order? lol
#1 – YES, move on! I am a piano teacher and I think it’s actually one of the best things you can do! I try to have semi-annual recitals, so my kids will have 1-2 pieces for their recital that we polish and get “perfect”. Other than those, once they have the basics of a song we move on. Sight reading is one of the most important skills they can develop and that only happens when they move through a high volume of music. Also, sanity is great!
#2 Ridley’s donuts are.so.good. I am so impressed they were able to do that!
#3 Love the article, can’t wait to read this book!
#4 No, just no. More than $25 is too much for me!
Ok, Laurah – I promise to move on with the piano songs! I so needed this thread to help me revise my piano teaching strategy! I’ve never thought of the sight reading aspect, but that skill is important to me, and I want the to develop that; great insight.
I completely feel your pain with the piano lessons thing! And I am completely guilty of passing off a song before it’s perfected and have had similar thoughts about it. After all, I do want them to eventually be able to play difficult music well. I’m trying to find my peace with where the line is. The line seems to be constantly changing depending upon my tolerance level for certain songs. . .
I really feel the article you shared is right down the alley that I walk. I think of myself if a mean mom now, but I’m hoping my kids will look back at my firmness and realize I was really being kind to their tomorrow selves, especially when it comes to being bored. My kids know that if they use the “B” word (Bored) I am quick to give them work to do. So they are getting much better about keeping them selves entertained with their own imaginations.
As far as the expensive jeans, I don’t think I’ve paid over $20 for a pair of jeans since I’ve been married, but would consider paying upwards of $50 or so if they fit perfectly. I wear casual clothing almost every day (jeans and whatever shirt) so a good pair of jeans would be worth it!
Thanks for your thoughts! Always love to read them because I value your opinions. You and your recipes are a great constant in our home. So blessed by you!
I think we are living parallel lives, Jennifer!
I teach my older two piano, and the 4 year old wants to learn but I don’t know if I can take that on right now. The oldest is a bit frustrated because she’s in the same book as the younger, cuz the younger passed off hers fast… she practices more! And jeans are tough, mine wear out fast, but my favorite pair someone gave me, but I’m pretty sure they’re $$. I have the other book you recommended on parenting, so I guess I need to get this one from the library too:) thanks!
We have the same issue in our house, Ashlee. Some of the younger ones are surpassing the older ones in books, and it creates drama. I try not to start the kids in piano lessons until late kindergarten or 1st grade. Too early, and it’s just too hard.
A few months ago, my son pulled out an old piano recital piece to play. I went over to the piano, took the music, ripped it in half and said, “Please don’t ever play that song again.” Too much of a good thing is real with kids and piano. (Not my best parenting moment, to be sure, but it was that or the bus to an asylum.)
Hahahahaha, that made me laugh out loud, Jeanette.
I am “teaching” my kids piano, but they aren’t really progressing like they should, maybe I should get a piano like yours and they would!! Your cute girl playing at it makes it even better. I am currently doing no sugar, but no one is paying me, it is just to get a handle on mindless eating that I’ve done so much of my life and lose a little weight (bonus!), but I am impressed with your boys and their accomplishment. I love the How to Talk…. book. I have it and need to read it again with my husband. As far as jeans go, I need help too. I can never find anything that fits right and stays fitting right as I wear them. Plus it just seems wrong to spend as much as they are for the “best” ones. Hopefully someone has the secret! Keep the Friday thoughts coming.
Way to go on your no sugar challenge, Shannon! There’s a ton of helpful comments in this thread about jeans! Maybe it will help (you AND me!).
Shannon, have some unsolicited internet stranger advice! When kids aren’t progressing I think it’s usually one of three things.
1) Not developmentally ready (especially girls younger than 6 or boys younger than 8 who don’t have a parent to sit at the piano with them for all of every single practice session)
2) They don’t like the songs. Try a different method; I have some kids really excel with Piano Pronto who make no progress with Faber’s Piano Adventures.
3) Not enough time on the bench practicing, and no concept of how to practice to improve. Does your kid play each song through once and yell, “Done!” or play it through, find a tricky spot, play it until they can do it better, and play it through again? Etc. This is a skill that takes a year or two to learn sometimes.
With love, a fellow mom teaching her kids who fails to make her kids practice regularly.
Hi Mel, I have 4 boys (no girl yet), and they have all taken piano starting in 1st grade. They have to play an instrument if they want to play a sport! So many tears! So much bleeding ears from hearing the same songs over and over! So much joy when they find excitement in showcasing their talent. ANYWAY, my second son had issues finishing songs. He would dive in and be excited for the first few parts of the song, then his piano teacher would make him finish (even when it took weeks even mon hs)! Finally we changed teachers to a lady who “got it”. She picked songs that taught a skill and once he learned that skill, that was it! Sometimes it was learned in the first two lines of the song, others it was after one page. So for this particular child, it wasn’t about a song, it was a piano skill to master, (even if he wanted to continue with the song, she made him do it on his own time, not during his practice time). Sorry this is long winded! No faultfinding here in passing your child’s somg off just to make it go away! They are being thought so many more important lessons from you just having you by their side.
Thank you for sharing that, Sara! After reading your comment and others, I think I need to adopt that new style for piano and look at it more as the “skill” vs “perfecting the song.” I like that. I needed this!
I’m converted to higher priced jeans. I picked some Hudson jeans up from Nordstrom Rack and I loved them so much I bought the same style in a different color. I reach for them almost daily and often choose them over my black leggings (and THAT is really amazing for someone that wore leggings exclusively for months after my third baby). A cute gal at Nordstrom recently recommended some NYDJ to me and I immediately loved them. I rarely shop for clothing in a store (not counting Costco and Sam’s Club) She brought probably 12 pairs of jeans to my dressing room and NYDJ were the winner. If there is anyway you can actually get to a Nordstrom and have some one help you, I highly recommend it–that was a new and kind of scary experience for me, but ended up being so great! I actually wore them out of the store and they were on sale! And then wore them all day at Disneyland recently and didn’t regret it.
Yeah, that would be a new and scary experience for me, too, but I can see how amazing that would be! I had a pair of Hudson jeans that I agree were life changing in comfort. So, so comfy. I shed actual tears when they wore holes in unwearable places.
Loving the Friday Thoughts! I need to get my “How to Talk..” book out and revisit it!
My favorite pair of jeans are the girlfriend jeans from Gap Factory, The pair I have was only $15 too! I also like Wit & Wisdom, Articles of Society & Kut from the Kloth (either from a good Nordstrom sale or Nordstrom rack). Haven’t ventured into the high $ category yet. Maybe one day I’ll find a good pair at Nordstrom Rack!
I keep perusing those Nordstrom Rack racks for THE ONE! My favorite pair of jeans ever are the Collin Hudson jeans…the fit is so amazing, I hardly have words, and they aren’t super low waisted or super high waisted or super tight or super loose. Basically, they are perfect. But they are not cheap. So I dream (especially after the pair I bought several years ago wore out and I’m without them now).
BUY THEM. Every time you wear them, you will think about how much you love them and in time the cost will seem so small spread out over the years. I learned this lesson when we moved into our house and splurged for the dining room curtains I truly wanted. Every day of my life I marvel at how much I love them and I can’t even remember how much they cost anymore. But I still remember how much the cheap pair jeans that fit terribly cost because I hate them so much! It is worth it.
I agree with this so much! If I add up the cost of all my cheap jeans that I dislike, it totally equals the cost of a nice pair that I love. And +1 on the curtains!
I hope you get the jeans, Mel. If the clothing item is perfect I hardly even look at price. Sry, not sry!
Jeans are really worth the price when you consider the cost per wear. I’ve bought pricy dresses that only get worn 1-2x. But, the same pair of jeans can be worn day in and day out (and no one will notice it’s the same pair). I try to stay in the $40-$50 range. But, I would (and have!) spent up to $100. I usually get mine at the Gap when a 50% off sale includes denim. I like their jeans because there is no brand-design stitching on the back pockets.
Favorite jeans with out a doubt are Democracy jeans. Between $25-40. I find them at Ross ~ TJ maxx or amazon. They have good stretch to accommodate my “trying to fight the mom body” body… thanks 5 kids! 😉 they are also longer than most that i find at Ross. I’m 5’7 and tall jeans are too long and normal jeans look like bad school pictures from 5th grade. Oh and they have good booty pockets. That’s essential. I may not see them but everyone else does 😉
I’m reading the child whisperer… I’ve got a couple of my kids that i also have power struggles with. I’m going to order the other one you mentioned.
Thanks for being real!
I’ve seen that brand at Nordstrom Rack, too! Dude, I agree with you on the back pockets. SUPER IMPORTANT.
Mel, I love this new series! Sorry to be a weirdo, but I feel like I “know” you after years of reading your blog (clearly, I don’t actually but my husband and mom know who “Mel” is whenever they rave about a new recipe!), and I enjoy these recommendations and insight into your life behind cooking. Thanks so much for all that you do!
Haha, thanks, Megan! 🙂 So glad you are here!
Wish I could make it 12 days without sweets! I am working at retraining myself to reach for an ice cold bottle of water first before the sweets- it is effective 50% of the time.
And good for you for teaching your kids piano- I think I would have kept with it if my teacher had mixed the songs up. After eight straight weeks of scales and Indian Dance I quit. And got my drivers license instead!
I really like the Amanda brand of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans- there are a variety of colors, spandex and waist heights. Costco carries a couple of versions and I have found them at Burlington Coat Factory. Also online at Sears. They don’t have the gap at the back or saggy knees even after wearing them 6 days straight.
I like the water tip, Valerie – I always ask myself (before partaking in egregious treat-eating), “am I hungry enough to have a hard-boiled eggs or carrot sticks instead?” If it’s truly a hunger issue, I try to walk away from the chocolate and eat protein or vegetables instead. It works about 18% of the time. 🙂
The book you mentioned has been on my to do list for quite awhile now! Thanks for the reminder to get going on that! I have been loving simplyonpurpose on instagram! I really love her positive parenting approach! You should check her out if you haven’t already!
Lots of people recommended her last Friday Thoughts post and then I realized I already followed her. Haha. Yikes! Goes to show my goal to spend less time on social media is perhaps working? 🙂 Anyway, I agree, her account has some amazing tips!
I have bought various jeans throughout the years. I think high quality jeans are great but I’m generally not willing to pay full price for them. My favorite pair of jeans right now is Calvin Klein, but I got it for $10 at a resale shop … that’s basically my goal. I always look at clearance racks and resale shops for nice jeans within my budget. I don’t even let myself look at full priced jeans usually. I have a pair of old navy ones I like a lot as well which are cheap at full price, and I don’t think the difference in those two pairs would be worth paying full price for the CK ones.
$10 is an amazing deal! Secondhand and clearance shopping can definitely pay off if you have the patience and self-control!
Ha, I would totally pass off songs if it got old! I would love to teach my kids piano but no piano for us at the moment 🙁 For jeans, I cannot spend over $50. Just can’t. I get mine at American Eagle and have for YEARS… like since high school… which is more years than I care to admit ago. They’ve raised their prices, but they often have sales on their jeans. I’ve also heard Gap makes good jeans, but I haven’t tried them and I hate trying new brands. Hard to get my body type right. Good luck on the hunt!
(i am now going to read that article and may come back and leave another comment…)
I had a favorite pair of jeggings from American Eagle I wore for years, and then I panicked a few years ago, because I was 38 and felt like maybe I had outgrown (age-wise) AE. Looks like I need to go back! 🙂
I feel like we are kind of the same person! Haha! I TOTALLY pass off my kids songs if it’s just been too long and we need a change! I always felt that they can learn the same concepts in another song and sometimes a song literally isn’t for that kid. (I went to the UofU for my piano performance degree so I know a little. :))
And I don’t believe you have to pay a lot for pants for them to be good quality. I typically find my best jeans that will last me for years at Kohls. They are usually about $30-40 and I like the little bit of stretch they have while still keeping great quality in the material. I used to buy pants at target but the knees and bottom would wear out so fast. I can’t say too much on anything else though because I tend to stick to the same stores I love! Btw.. your boys are so inspiring!! I can hardly make it 2 days without giving in! Maybe if someone would hand me a big cash prize I could…. haha. 🙂 thank you for all your wonderful posts and recipes! Your website is my go-to every time I meal plan!
Thanks for the insight, Sarah – and trust me, you know WAY more than I do about piano teaching and piano in general!
Hi Mel! So I also teach my kids piano (I have an advanced degree in piano) and I think you have to find a balance. If they hate/get bored with a piece, even if they haven’t completely mastered it, I move on. Keep in mind that some pieces in piano curriculum books are not quite in the right order in terms of skill levels- you may skip one that seems especially hard and come back later. Also, I pick out a “recital” piece that they love and want to learn- it could be a princess piece, star wars theme, etc- as a longer term project that they won’t mind spending more time on.
And, I love the Elaine Faber book! “Siblings without rivalry” by the same authors is also excellent – I started trying some of the techniques with my kids and couldn’t believe how much it helped. You basically teach them to resolve as many conflicts as possible amongst themselves.
Thank you so much for your insight into piano, Mary! I think you hit on something – I need to be more flexible with the order they play songs in the book and branching out to try different genres, especially for a recital song and such. Thank you! I’m definitely interested in that siblings book…I didn’t know it existed, but we could definitely use some help at times with that. Thank you!
I just bought my first pair of high-price denim. I was tired of jeans that get stretched out and having to readjust them constantly. I wear jeans to work, church, everywhere.
I went with a pair of Paige Hoxton High Waist, that I found at Nordstrom Rack for $80 (4x the price I usually pay for jeans!). I’ve had them for a few weeks, wear them a few times a week, and they haven’t stretched out at all. They are super comfy, look great and make me feel great. I love that I don’t have to pull them up/adjust after sitting for awhile.
Nordstrom Rack is the best! So happy you found a pair you love! I’ll have to look for those next time I’m there.
Wow! Impressive! A year without sweets is a real accomplishment. I could never do it. As for music lessons, my three took violin lessons and I taught piano at home. They have thanked me numerous times for taking them to violin lessons but agree that piano paled in comparison to violin. With violin, they played in youth orchestras, school orchestras, and quartets. They loved the feeling of being in a group where everyone worked together to produce Music. Something they actually did enjoy about piano was our home recitals. They dressed up and each child played a couple of pieces then we had refreshments. I have great memories of my kids and music.
So do you feel like if you did it again, you’d outsource the piano so they could have the same experiences as they did with violin? One of my sons takes cello lessons outside the home (obviously – that would be laughable if I tried to teach him!) and I agree, his experience is vastly different than home-taught piano lessons (but I just can’t beat the convenience of piano in the home right now). Love the home recitals! I’m definitely going to start doing that. Thanks for the idea!
I would suggest you have them work on another song for awhile and come back to that one later, Maybe a slightly easier song. Also, I would have them working on different songs so that you aren’t always hearing the same one. I am an abysmal piano player, so not sure how good my advice is, but I suspect they may be equally tired of playing the song and that might make a difference in their ability to master it.
This Grandma like the article you linked to, it reminded me of my sister’s family. When the TV broke they didn’t replace it. The kids grew up reading or playing games like card games, checkers, chess or dominoes instead of watching TV, although they did watch at my mothers and their friends. It seemed extreme to me at the time, but I see the results now and think it worked very well for them. Of course, the parents played the games with them and that was a positive thing, I think.
No help on the jeans, since I don’t like to wear them. But, I’ll offer my general rules for clothes: do they fit comfortably, are they washable> Finally, do they need to be ironed because I hate ironing and they do me no good waiting to be ironed so if they will need ironing, I’m not going to buy them for daily wear.
Love all your feedback, Alice! Thank you! I hate ironing too, so we are soul sisters there.
Oh the jeans….so many jeans…for 8 mths. I have been searching for the PERFECT jean.. it doesn’t exist! I tried cheap jeans and expensive jeans like $120 jeans! I am very conservative so that was really hard to stomach, but I ended up sending them back hating how they fit! And then on a whim I tried the New York Jones jeans from Costco for $16 and I LOVE THEM!!! Who would have thought!
That’s amazing!
Expensive denim: worth it. Fit is better, stays constant throughout the day with no saggy knees or diaper butt, lasts for years (even with frequent wear!). I’ve had some denim I’ve liked from Target and Old Navy but they usually only last a year or so. The secret is I usually buy mine secondhand (high-end consignment shops around me always have good pairs for about $30-$40, and sometimes I find a good pair at the thrift store for $10-$20 but not as reliably). The best part about secondhand is that they’re already washed and dried so you don’t have to worry about shrinkage or dye loss! You can also buy used denim online from Thredup or Poshmark but I’d do that only if you’re certain about brand and fit.
Yeah, I think you are right. The few times I’ve paid with the *gulp* factor for jeans, the fit has been so much better and they last so much longer. And it’s not so hard to swallow if you do the secondhand shopping like you suggested! I’ve heard a lot about Thredup but never tried it out.
Mel, I am loving your Friday thoughts! Could you take one for the team and discover the perfect pair of Mom jeans that aren’t Mom jeans? I’ve been searching for a long time with no luck.
Haha, challenge accepted!
Thanks for always being so real. The internet could definitely use more of that. If you like skinny jeans, I absolutely love Democracy. I have only seen them at Nordstrom Rack, but this last time they didn’t have the right style, so I found them on Amazon. Usually $40-50. I have a hard time finding skinny jeans that are small enough for my waist and hips, but don’t make my legs feel claustrophobic–I’m blessed with “muscular” legs. These have lots of stretch and lift in all of the right places (if you know what I mean ;).
Haha, why did I laugh out loud at the claustrophobic leg comment? Maybe because I TOTALLY know what you mean! Seriously. It’s a thing. Thanks for the recommendation!
I have the “How to Talk so Teens Will Listen…” version and really enjoyed it. Still can’t believe I’ll need it soon and I get a brand spanking new teenager in TWO DAYS!!!
Good luck with that!! 🙂
On the subject of kids: 🙁 mine are grown, so it is a little sad for me not to read what you are reading and do what you are doing, HOWEVER, my two daughters are wonderful, strong, independent women now , so there’s that! 🙂 I think our guts are our true guide with books, etc. filling in the gaps and reinforcing our beliefs – you go, girl!
And jeans: sigh…if it were so easy. I spent big money ($100) on jeans one time and I loved them until the day they died (from love, they died from too much love, like wear them every day for years love!). However, here’s my favorite way to acquire jeans (this is the miser in me speaking!), I take a day to myself and travel 80 miles to the nearest city (you know, that has a Target? yes, I live in the way boondocks, baby) and spend the day scouring all the resale shops for jeans. It is amazing at what can be found out there! Clearly, many of us pay good money for jeans then discard them for whatever reason and I am here to tell you that I haven’t spent more than $10 for new-to-me jeans with most having original tags intact. 🙂
Love your comment, Jane! My wish is that I, too, will raise wonderful, strong, independent women and men. You are amazing! And I think you are on to something – it takes more time and effort to do secondhand shopping but when you find a jewel, it’s worth it! I bought a really expensive pair of jeans a couple years ago and literally wore them 4X a week and they, too, died from all the love. It was a sad, sad, sad day.
I’ve taught my five girls piano lessons over the years and I’d say letting them move on when you can’t handle the song anymore is totally acceptable. We love the Piano Adventures series of piano books because the songs are more interesting and fun to play (especially for my older kids) than other ones we’ve tried.
I’m currently living without meat, which is easier than I expected it to be. My religion doesn’t observe Lent, but I wanted to give it a try anyway. However, I know for a fact that I could not live without sweets. I went for a whole month last year without chocolate and it was so, so difficult for me.
I loved the article about allowing children to be bored, experience consequences, and making intentional decisions as parents. We do some of the things the author recommended but not all of them. I definitely need to be better about putting my phone/laptop away in the evenings and just enjoy being with my husband and kids.
My favorite jeans are Lucky Brand and I can ususally find them from under $70. If I found a pair I loved that cost more, I’d probably still buy them! Because good jeans are hard to find.
Thanks for validating that, Sarah (not that I expect anyone to unless they really agree with me). 🙂 We also love the Piano Adventures! My younger kids use those and my older kids use Alfred. But maybe I should pull out a few of the older books I have stashed and change it up for my older kids. Thanks for the reminder of that. Thanks for all the feedback!! I agree: good jeans are hard to find!
I applaud you for teaching your kids piano! (Is there anything you can’t do, Mel?) Though I could teach my kids, I know that our relationships would suffer. My good friend is an amazing teacher and has endless patience, and they behave a lot better for her than for me when I try to help them at home.
She doesn’t make them “master” every song, only recital pieces. I used to wonder at this, but it hasn’t seemed to hinder their progress. And as a result, neither Spinning Song or Indian Dance have ever bothered me, though I did laugh out loud when you mentioned them – they are both very memorable, and Indian Dance is now running through my head! 🙂
Oh, and I have no advice for jeans. Jeans are now officially my dress up pants. But if you’re looking for advice on a good pair of yoga pants, I’m your girl!
Oh, yes, I hear you on the relationship suffering thing. I’ve really thought of outsourcing it (every day actually) and have tried it a time or two, but the benefits don’t outweigh the disadvantages for me (yet), so on we go. Thanks for the insight into your friend’s teaching style! I think I could adopt that – only have them really master the recital/festival pieces. Thank you!
Hi !
I really love Friday thoughts ! I live in France, but my family looks like yours : the same happy moments, the same less happy moments …
Thanks, Carine – always love hearing from you. 🙂
I am SO impressed and inspired by your boys!! My daughter is struggling to get through Lent without chocolate. :0
I will admit that my very favorite pair of jeans were $168. They fit perfectly and are comfortable, don’t lose their fit after a few hours and get baggy in the waist/behind, and they make me feel amazing. Totally worth it. Plus I wear them like 3-4 times a week, so I’d say they are earning their price tag. 😉
Ok, well now you have to share the brand of those jeans!!
Thoughts on jeans. If they feel great, fit great, look great then I don’t hesitate on price. Some of my favorites are Paige Denim and I find the best prices at Nordstrom Rack. I also love jeans that aren’t as expensive. But what I love most are jeans that make me happy and feel amazing.
I JUST bought a black pair of Paige denim at Nordstrom Rack a few weeks ago. They were $68, I think (normally over $150!!!). And I love them. But what I find is that often when I find expensive clothes discounted like that, I make a few small concessions on fit because of the price, and then I wear them a few times and realize I don’t love, love them. Make sense? But they ARE super comfortable, so I think they have potential.
Hi Mel – it’s funny – I have 2 pairs that cost $80 each and I LOVE them – so stetchy, perfect length, super comfortable. On the other hand, I have 2 pairs (1 from Target and 1 from Gap) that I also LOVE that cost less than 1 $80 pair. I guess my 3 questions to ask before buying (or returning after buying) 1 – are they all over comfortable (waist, booty, length) 2 – is the length right? 3 – do you feel good wearing them? 🙂 (Nordstrom has free shipping and free returns so you can shop with no commitment)
Yes, yes, love ordering online from Nordstrom! Thanks for the insight, Patricia! 🙂
My fave jeans are Lucky brand, but I buy them at TJMaxx, so I usually pay around $40 for them. I loooove them, and I have four different styles. All good.
Thanks, Katie! I’m a TJMaxx fan, too (and Nordstrom Rack for discounted clothes)
Topshop and NYDJ are my favorites. Topshop runs $65 to $75 and NYDJ costs $110 usually. I prefer a higher waist and these two brands have them. I heard that Madewell is all over the high waist trend this year but I’ve never worn that line. I think it’s probably pricier but am not sure. All are available through Nordstrom. I live in jeans – blue, black, gray, pink, white. This year, I’ve discovered Hue jeggings. Wow! How comfortable are they!?! I have to be sure to wear tunic tops with them though. Hope this helps.
Thanks for your great posts. Your blog is the best! (I admire your boys for persevering through a year without sweets! What a challenge!!!)
I’m another fan of NYDJ … am recalling $80 vicinity for price. Thanks, Beth B. for the HUE leggings heads up. I just ordered 2 pair from Amazon to try – one denim, one “regular”. I like high waist under tunic tops so these sound like just the ticket for me.
I go from home office, to walk/snowshoe in the woods, to grocery and HATE changing clothes multiple times so my challenge is to find things that work for all. I tend toward leggings or knit sport pants vs jeans.
Those boys – WOW! I don’t have much of a sweet tooth but don’t think I could go a year. Congrats to them and hope they have some fun with some of the $$.
And that Cam … she looks more grown up every time you share a photo. Loved the story photo of her reorganizing the DVD/VHS drawers!
Haha, thanks, Liz. Cam is something else. She is constantly organizing something and lecturing her brothers when they don’t put things back (ahem, every day) and they kind of just look at her like she’s crazy. I’m going to check out those Hue jeggings, too!
Love, love, love this info, Beth! I have one pair of NYDJ jeans I found super cheap at Nordstrom Rack a couple years ago, but the fit wasn’t spot on (only the price was!) so I’ll have to look into all those recommendations. And Hue jeggings?? Fun! Thank you!