Friday Thoughts
Well, it’s been a hot minute since the last Friday Thoughts post. Sorry for waiting so long to get another one up! They really are some of my favorite posts to do…mostly because I love (love, love!) reading your comments. And I always feel like the reader who makes it to the very end of these posts deserves some massive award. Like, a lifetime supply of mail-order chocolate chip cookies or a magic wand to make all dirty dishes disappear.
2019 has hit our family full force. Not in a bad way, just in an extremely busy way with a few ups and downs and some time-filling projects, traveling, and responsibilities. I’m excited for this Friday Thoughts post to brain dump some of the things that have been on my mind! Let’s gooooo!
1. Game Thoughts: You already know me and my family are game lovers through and through. My holiday game gift guide that I post every year in November is one of my most popular posts (clearly I’m not the only one that loves card and board games!). Already this year, we’ve hit on a few games that have already become fast family favorites. I’m sure you’ll see them on my gift guide later this year, too, but I would be a very bad friend if I made you go eight more months without knowing about them!
First up is this Skull game {aff. link}. The premise behind the game is age old, and it is so super simple to learn and play. Basically, if you uncover anyone’s skull card, you lose. Plus, it’s a fast game so you don’t have to center your whole evening around one round. Love this one! Speaking of skulls, we haven’t had a ton of time for more than a couple new games, because literally all my kids want to do on Sunday nights is play Skull Kings {aff. link}, a game I mentioned in my gift guide last year. It easily ranks as one of our fave games in the history of ever.
The other game we stumbled on and have played for hours over the last week or so is Superfight. It has an Apples to Apples/Snake Oil vibe but we all agree it is 1,000 times more fun. I bought the base game and then a few expansion packs (the green and yellow) {aff. links}. I’ve actually never heard my kids laugh as loud as they have while playing this game. It’s hilarious – you basically create character card combos that go head to head with another opponents’ character cards and you debate about who would win in a fight or challenge and then everyone votes on who would win. I find myself giggling about some of the combos during the day when I’m all by myself. (I need to get out more.) The cards in the black deck are very family friendly (I only had to pull one card out of the base deck that I wasn’t crazy about – but I haven’t been all the way through the zillion cards yet), and the green deck is particularly geared to kids.
Also, I figured since so many of you have asked how we organize our games, I’d show you my super secret method. Here you go. Take lots of notes. It’s a pretty intricate system. 😉#sendhelp
2. Intermittent Fasting Thoughts: Anyone out there do intermittent fasting? I’ve read a lot about it and know the whys and wherefores, and some of the benefits are appealing to me. But when I tried it, I only lasted about four days (that’s kind of my track record with diet-y type things, haha, I lasted 4 1/2 days with the Whole30 years ago and consider that 4 1/2 days I’ll never get back). I was SO tired when I started intermittent fasting. Like bone-weary tired and about the worst grumpety grump mom in the universe and I just couldn’t hack it. Anyway, I’m interested to know if any of you are intermittent fasters out there! Talk to me. 🙂
3. Screen Time Thoughts: Not only is it a challenging journey defining boundaries around screen time for kids, but, HELLO, adults (me!) struggle, too. I’m always looking for different resources to help me personally and my family as a whole navigate the murky waters of screen time/technology, and I LOVE the tips and guides over at Better Screen Time (on Instagram here). I’m using their quick guide to setting up a Family Technology Plan (not a cell phone contract!) for our family, and the self-evaluation guide for teens and phones that they have is really, really awesome.
My goal lately has been to take the “fear” aspect out of technology and screens with my kids – as in, me not parenting with fear surrounding those decisions, and instead create opportunities for us to talk about it openly as a family and create goals/plans together. Currently, my 14-, 13-, and 11-year olds all have school-issued laptops (with a pretty poor internet filter and also the realization that kids these days are much smarter than me and can get around anything), my 13-year old has an iPod touch he bought with his own money late last year with restricted access to the internet and apps, and my 14-year old has a very ancient slide phone. So…yeah, we are definitely not on the “current” end of the technology/screen time spectrum, haha, but what we do is working for us right now (including our nightly docking system and other rules), and if I’ve learned anything in this age of parenting, it is: what I do with my kids and my family is probably going to look different from other families, and any time spent comparing or stressing about that is time wasted.
Don’t worry, I still compare and stress about it (#truth), but I’m getting a lot better. Having said that, I’ve also learned a tremendous amount from other intentional parents out there (and from resources like Better Screen Time). What resources have you found to be helpful? Any tips to share on screen time/technology with kiddos?
4. IGTV Thoughts: Have you guys seen the videos I’ve posted to IGTV? Kind of a “Bake with Mel” series with a little bit of randomness thrown in there. Don’t have Instagram? No worries, I post them all here, too. Anyway, I have some FUN, fun videos coming soon. Later today or tomorrow I’m posting a Bake with Mel: Cream Puff vid in which I’m interrupted by a bunch of high school kids who came home unexpectedly after the high school had an emergency evacuation (everyone was ok). Spoiler alert: they were thrilled to eat cream puffs instead of sitting through history class. And, as you are reading this, I’m pretty sure, Sara from OBB is sitting with me in my kitchen filming another IGTV video that’ll be coming at you soon. This one is…well..special. Haha. We’re exploring all the trendy flavor combinations out there that people claim are lifechanging, and we are making each other try a few (I hope we don’t vomit). If you have a recipe that is tricky, scary, or a little sketchy that you want me to make on a future video to see if it’s worth it, let me know! I’m open to ideas.
5. Teenage Driver Thoughts: We’ve officially entered this world with a permitted teenage driver. It seems a little surreal (so did that rear end accident the 2nd day of driving, yikes). But I keep reminding myself he’s gotta learn how to drive through roundabouts somehow, somewhere so it might as well be with his high strung mom. In all seriousness, I’ve surprised myself (and I think everyone that knows me) with how patient I’ve been (even if I am frantically slamming on a brake that doesn’t exist on my side of the car), and he’s doing a great job, and I’m really excited when he can finally drive himself places, and I’m sorry he has to learn to drive in a behemoth suburban, and I only have four more kids to go through this process, and someone please hold me. The end.
6. Recap Thoughts: I loved our discussion in January about positive parenting. Man, you guys inspire me so much. I can’t say that I’ve been 100% perfect in not letting anything but positivity cross my lips since then…but I have been so, so much better than in months and years past, and I think it’s making a huge difference in our home and family. I’m still determined to keep it up (even after those days I fail miserably). My friend, Nicole, shared this article in the comment thread of that Friday Thoughts post, and I gleaned so, so many great tips from it (the author has a book on the same lines here– aff. link). Her 10 tips at the end of the article are golden. Also, I just saw that Ralphie over at @simplyonpurpose (who so many of you love for parenting tips) is doing a free email course on “staying safe” or basically my alternate title: “how to stop yelling as a parent because it doesn’t work and never will.” It sounds pretty amazing.
Also, you totally blew me away with your response to the new cinnamon roll recipe I posted. I love your enthusiasm for cinnamon rolls so much, it almost makes me weepy.
Last recap, I’m loving my new pantry about a thousand percent more than I thought I would. Honestly, it’s my favorite place. In the whole world. Not kidding. (Also, clearly not a world traveler.) My sister, Em, and friend, Deb, enlisted the help of our talented friend, Bobbi, and made me the most perfect sign for the pantry. Truer words hath never been written.
Love all of your guts! Thanks for being here. And please leave me all YOUR thoughts below. It’s my favorite part.
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Well,Mel, I am TOTALLY blown away by your cool Friday Thoughts post! As a doting grandma of 4 (soon to be 5) little kiddos, I was looking for a good, quick & easy giant chocolate chip cookie recipe. The ‘family’ comes over to our house on Sundays after church, and this Sunday is Abby’s birthday. She will turn 9 and doesn’t really like cake! … but does like chocolate chip cookies!
Our g-kids are all homeschooled by my INCREDIBLE daughter! They are all so smart! (ages: almost 9, 7, 5, 3, and new baby coming in July)
I just HAD to try your recipe because it sounded so quick & easy. AND IT IS DELICIOUS! … so much so, that I’ve eaten about 1/4 of the cookie! … NOT ON PURPOSE, you understand. When I was taking it out of the pan, after letting it cool for a while, it broke on one side because my cooling rack wasn’t big enough. It was a good thing – because I ‘needed’ to make sure it would be good enough for my Abby! IT IS! 🙂
I decided to look at some of your other recipes and came across your Friday Thoughts! WOW … I LOVE YOU!! I love your transparency … I love that you share who you are right out here! … sure wished I had a friend like you when I was raising my 2 kids! (and that was MANY YEARS ago! lol … parenting & marriage are 2 of the hardest things we do and each has so much impact on so many lives! I bless you, sweel Mel! You are doing an AWESOME JOB of just being real … and sharing what you know and what you learn… and that makes ‘life’ a whole lot easier!! Please keep posting & I promise to keep reading! (AND trying your recipes! <3 ) Vivian (from NJ)
How clever!! Your closet acts as its’ own game of Jenga!
😀
On Sunday we were at my parents for our usual gathering and many of us were talking about board games. At the same time, my older sister and I turned to each other and said “did you see Mel’s game closet?” We immediately bust up laughing! We so appreciate you being so real and relatable!! My 5 sisters and I talk about you often, its like you’re part of the fam and we don’t even know you!
after reading some of your comments below it appears i am an intermittent faster and i didn’t even know it! and often only eating 8 hours in the day LOL mostly because i’m not a morning person and neither is my 2 year old and so breakfast often isn’t before 10am and then because she goes to bed so dang early we eat dinner before 7 every night. and i’m naturally not a snacker nor a starbucker so it seems i’m trendy and i didn’t even know it! not sure this is a comment for the books but it made me laugh a bit and so i guess thank you for that! and thank you for feeding my family all month long, maybe rather year after year. you are my food hero! my julia child 🙂
Thanks for sharing the pic of your game closet, that is epic!
RE: intermittent fasting- I agree with Lisa, just shoot for 12 hours, so basically no eating after dinner. It’s also “easier” when my diet isn’t so carb-heavy. For more on how carbs and how they affect your hormone levels, see Mark’s Daily Apple blog (also a good place to read about fasting) and Gary Taubes’ book “Why we get fat and what to do about it”
Screen time + kids is hard! I have been making more of an effort to watch WITH my kids and we talk about the show. It’s also been fun to have family movie night and watch movies from my youth, like Mulan. My kids are 6 and under, so we are not at phones yet. I’m trying to be conscious of my screen time…. Says I zoning out at 2 in the afternoon by reading blogs 🙂
I didn’t realize you knew Kate from OBB, but that totally makes sense.
We love superfight. Thank you for recommending it!
I have been intermittent fasting for over a year, I bought a book called “The 8 hour diet” published by Men’s Health. I’ve lost about 30 lbs, and feel really awesome when I do it. I let my hunger cue when I fast, if there are days when I am SUPER hungry, I may eat breakfast at a “regular” time. But the days when I don’t eat until 10 or 11 am, I feel incredibly energetic and just feel good overall.
Your game closet is a great “I Spy” game as well. We bought Sleeping Queens (based off of your recommendation), and my kids have loved playing it all day, every day for spring break. They don’t even need me to help them, and it makes my card-game loving heart so happy! I went through my game and bed sheets closet and gave up on organizing either.
We love the Disney Circle device and app. It allows you to monitor all internet activity and set time and site limits and give rewards (ie if they do extra chores we can add 15 minutes to their time limit). It has made it much easier to keep track of who has had screen time and for how long. (with 6 kids it is impossible for me to mentally keep track!) Also- we have kids ages 8-21 so obviously we can allow older kids to have more freedom than the littles (ie no youtube for the littles etc.).
I’ve been trying the intermittent fasting for a few months. I try to stick with a 12-hour fast, which would be easy if my husband and I had normal schedules. I like to eat dinner with him, but he gets home from working out at 7. So I allow myself to eat between 7:30 AM and 7:30 PM. It’s a little hard in the morning because I get up at 4 and start work at 6, but I just drink water til 7:30 and look forward to coffee and breakfast! The best thing about the fasting in the evening is it absolutely rules out late night snacking!
I love your recipes and your new cooking videos, but most of all your fun, frank and loving spirit.
Thank you so much, Lisa!
Intermittent fasting:
Check out fast-5.org. Dr. Herring recommends doing a study of one, with yourself as test subject, to see if intermittent fasting is for you. This plan resonates with me because I’ve never wanted to eat breakfast early in the day. Evening snacking is another matter, though, haha. It’s interesting reading in any case.
Teen drivers:
Oddly enough, I found that it was super stressful riding with my permit holders but not so bad when they were fully licensed and could drive without me in the car. Out of sight, out of mind? Not quite, but I loved having more drivers in the house. I found it useful to try to think of scenarios that require extra attention, like watching for pedestrians when turning, and talk about them while practicing. I remember being an awesome driver at age 16. Now I know the truth
Haha, that last line made me laugh. Same here.
The first time my oldest drove off in my car by herself was THE scariest moment of my life! It beats the first sexual encounter, job interview, funerals and her birth. OMG I thought I was going to have a panic attack.
When she came back in one piece, I was thanking God in every way possible. And I was so relieved, I almost wept.
Yep, very traumatizing. I hope it’s easier for you but don’t count on it. LOL
P.S. My chocolate consumption went through the ceiling in my girls’ teen years. I should’ve bought stock in Lindt!
You make me laugh, Becky.
I read and researched a bit on intermittent fasting and decided that this method is best for me: eat a regular breakfast, lunch and dinner, aiming for 4-6 hours in between without snacks and no food after 7pm. Our schedule is crazy depending on sports and activity nights and seminary/school carpool in the morning so I’m not strict about what time I eat breakfast/lunch/dinner, or what I eat for them (although I do better with a more balanced protein/carb load)…I just try to keep the snack-free gap between meals and between 7pm and 6am. I haven’t lost any weight but my blood sugar is doing better and although my waist isn’t smaller around, my “I had several kids” stretched out bump below the waist is flatter. I probably eat 1800-2200 calories a day and exercise almost every day (walk and/or run and sometimes HIIT or yoga). I think my grandmother would call my version of IF a “don’t eat sweets and starches between meals and you’ll be okay…duh” lifestyle.
Yeah, I think your grandmother’s hypothesized definition may be right! I’m glad it’s working for you…that’s what matters, really, is figuring out what works best with each of our individual personalities and lifestyles. Appreciate your comment. Thank you!
Hi Mel! I have been doing intermittent fasting for over two years and love it! It has made me much more aware of WHAT I’m putting into my mouth and HOW MUCH I’m putting in my mouth. IF has made me realize how much less food our bodies really need. After not eating anything for 18 – 20 hours, the food I do eat tastes AMAZING! It is so much more fun to eat when you’re actually hungry, instead of just because it’s ‘time’ to eat. IF has been so freeing for me in regards to food. I would recommend gradually working up to it, instead of going straight for 18 hours. As for teen drivers, my oldest just got his actual license. I know all about pushing that imaginary brake pedal! Anyway, I love your blog and all your recipes. I read everything you write, even though I hardly ever comment. I feel like you and I have a lot in common. I also have 4 boys, just no little girl. 🙂 I love baking, especially breads, and bake all the bread we eat. Thanks!
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, Susan! So many intermittent fasters on this thread! Crazy! It’s interesting to read how each of you work it toward your own lifestyle and goals. Good luck with your teenage driver! Sounds like you’re on the path to independence if he has his official license!
Mel, I’m so glad you enjoyed that KJ Dell’Antonia article and the 10 tips! And thrilled that you shared them in this post so everyone can benefit. That book almost felt like permission to be human, and reading that list and then the book felt like a nice, deep breath. And I’m honestly not really that prone to guilt, of the “mom” variety or otherwise.
About screen time, the older my kids get, the less I track what I perceive to be negative pastimes (like staring mindlessly at a phone or a video game screen) and the more I try to keep tabs on positive markers. Let me see if I can explain a bit better…
When my kids were very small, they never watched TV shows. The occasional movie, but that was it. When they went over a friend’s house, they did whatever the friend was doing. It didn’t seem fair to give instructions like that to another parent. But I wanted my kids to get bored and find a way out. I wanted them to depend upon one another. I wanted them to learn to pacify themselves and each other.
Now that they’re all teenagers (it’s cool—I really prefer teenagers & young adults so it’s better for me than little ones generally!), I keep watch on whether or not they’re getting their school work done, chores, other responsibilities and do what they have to do before what they want to do…on their own. If they don’t, I step in.
For example, deciding when to do your own homework is a privilege. If I can see that you’re making good choices, I leave you be. If not, then I step in. And honestly nobody wants that option! If I do step in, it’s with an eye toward my stepping back out. I don’t want to be in anyway. Trust me. 🙂
Social media is terrifying and can be soul-crushing for teens (and adults?), but it’s a reality. I don’t want my kids to be caught out. It’s hard enough to fit in, and they didn’t decide to live in a community of relatively plenty. I did.
And I will support my son, for example, in his desire to play video games (even though I personally hate them) to the extent that it connects rather than isolates. So I’ll make it easier for you to play games that you play with others, harder to play games that you play alone.
My oldest is a junior in high school now. This is a really big year. If she doesn’t budget her time well and does poorly on a test that she should have crushed or isn’t ready to pitch in a big softball game, that’s on her, you know? But I’m not paying for an expensive college if you didn’t do your best in high school. I’m not paying for pitching lessons if you don’t put in the time on your own because you were on your phone too much. Natural consequences all the way…
I thought about just emailing all of this to you but I thought it might be good to share it publicly since I never talk about this sort of thing at all on my blog. And clearly I have a lot to say!
Love your Friday thoughts since you are a thoughtful person.
xo Nicole
Nicole, thank you so much for sharing this as a comment with everyone! Also, can you just come live with me and be that little angel on my shoulder guiding me to ignore negative behaviors?? Haha, really though, I love what you said. I agree with your statement that although social media can be crushing, it’s also a reality. I also want my kids to learn to navigate those waters (and others) while still at home in the framework of a loving home and supportive parents. Natural consequences are so much more meaningful than forced parental consequences. Anyway, as always you’ve given me a lot to think about! Thanks for your thoughts!
I follow this podcast called “The Vibe” done by Robyn Openshaw, who is known as “The Green Smoothie Girl”, She talks about holistic ways to heal your body and interviews different experts in different fields. Anyways, She interviewed, (I think) it was Dr. Christensen, an endocrinologist. He wrote a book about how the food we eat affects our hormones, metabolism, etc… Anyways, on the podcast, he says Intermittent Fasting really messes with your liver, which is a big part of your metabolism. I wish I had all the information. So, after that, I decided not to try intermittent fasting. For technology we put something on our 15-year-old son’s phone called Norton Family. Basically, we don’t want him to waste so much time on his phone, and he still doesn’t have internet on it. Basically, he has texting and phone access and a few apps that we talked about and he insisted he needed. But, we can see all of the activity that has happened on his phone, and we set a time limit for it to be turned off. We have a charging station in the main area of the house and we came up with some basic technology rules for our family, such as no phone in rooms. I’m really careful and worried about technology because I have seen the effects of pornography in so many people’s lives including my own. So, we are really careful about internet access in our home basically, only in the main area of our home where we have a family computer. Hope this makes sense.
Thanks for the input, Jocelyn! It’s so fascinating to learn more about these things: the foods we eat, our hormones, etc. It almost seems overwhelming to decipher through all the information – but I actually really love hearing all views because it gives me a lot to stew over in my busy mind. 🙂 Thanks for your thoughts on phones and teens! You sound like a very thoughtful and intentional mama.
I have honestly wondered about what size game closet you have?!! Now I know! Thanks for sharing your real life photo!
I know it’s a bit alarming – but it works! I actually overhauled it on Saturday and it looks beautiful and organized, but somehow it feels like a stranger in our home. I kind of want the chaos back! Haha. Give it a couple days and I’m sure it’ll be back to normal.
Ok intermittent fasting did work for me but I feel like my body has changed and my metabolism or hunger has slowed waaaay down. I will say that currently I have a three month old and I’m breastfeeding so it’s been about a year since I’ve done it. I liked that I could still eat a cookie or have bread for dinner and didn’t feel like I was giving anything up! BUT even 5 years ago the thought of not having breakfast would have crushed my soul and body and been horrible. I woke up NEEDING to EAT ASAP!!! Not sure what has changed…age or hormones or whatever but I’m actually anxious to try it again. I could see though how it just might not work for some people (even my past self!!).
Yes, I think you summed it up! It may not work for everyone – that’s the beauty is we can each figure it out on our own. (Good luck with that little baby, by the way!)
Couple of comments: first, I love your game closet. It looks like mine. Wide variety. We play a LOT of games, many different kinds including cooperative, etc. We have many many favorites, including ones that you have. Skull– became a favorite at Christmas when my son added it to his wish list. BTW, he listens to a podcast from “Shut up and sit down” and they offer so many different varieties! We have recently discovered Root, Inis, and Whitehall, and we love Tiny Epic Kingdom games, Railroad Ink Blue, Incan Gold, any Pandemic… my list can go on…
Second, as a mom of now adult kids the thing that saved me when they started driving was DRIVING SCHOOL. Yes, I drove with them, yes it was scary, but driver’s ed was well worth the money. I highly recommend it.
Third, I love your recipes and ideas. You are amazing. Thank you for all you post!
Thank you so much, Lynn! So excited about those game recommendations (and that podcast sounds fun).
The way I do intermittent fasting (or at least my version) is ceasing to eat after 7pm and then breaking the fast 12-13 hrs later at breakfast. While this is not the true rules of IF, it has been extremely helpful for me. I admit there are often nights I will go to bed feeling hungry and deny myself food, but in the long run I have consumed fewer calories and made better/healthier food choices because of it.
Thanks for chiming in on this, Elizabeth!
This is the way I do IF, too. After dinner, I brush my teeth, and I’m finished until breakfast. I think this is the way my grandparents ate 7 the days before microwaves and instant gratification .
I don’t think of IF as a diet, just a healthy habit. Drink more water, eat more vegetables, don’t eat every waking hour. No one is eating carrot sticks before bed so cutting off eating after dinner naturally cuts out a lot of empty calories.
“No one is eating carrot sticks before bed” – so true! At least I can speak for myself; I am definitely not. I go straight for the ice cream.
Wow! That is a lot of games. We are a board game family but I don’t think we have that many. My favorites big group (party) games are oldies but goodies; Pictionary and Taboo. I love Rummikub and our new family favorite has been Dutch Blitz. We can get a few rounds of Dutch Blitz after dinner.
My husband has done intermittent fasting for a long time now and loves it. I started doing it with Faster Way To Fat Loss and have loved it. I don’t follow the program exactly anymore but I still do IF most of the time. I work out 5 to 6 days a week and have found that as long as I am eating plenty of healthy foods (good fats and proteins) I am not even hungry. My eating window is usually 11:00am-7:00pm. Now when I get to 11:00 I am hungry but in a good way. When my workouts are really tough I have to make sure I have gotten plenty of healthy carbs. I feel bad and tired when I am eating too much sugar. With FWTFL you are not eating less but just eating in a smaller time frame. Hope this helps.
Those are some of our faves, too! But I haven’t played Dutch Blitz. I’ll have to add that to my wish list! Thanks for your insights into intermittent fasting!
You haven’t played Dutch Blitz???!! As a born and breed Pennsylvania Dutch girl, it’s a old fashioned family classic and I love the fast paced game. Give it a try once 🙂
We just played the game moods by hasbro last night at a couples get together.
It was such a funny great game. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. Totally recommend it! So fun! Great for a group of about 8 people. We played as couples, so we played with about 16 people. So funny!! You have to say a phrase in a particular mood. Then the other players have to guess which mood you said it in. So, So FUNNY!!! The phrases themselves are funny, and the moods are crazy too. Flirtatious, Angry, Tired, Annoyed, Nervous, etc.
The only problem is it’s an old game; hard to find. On Amazon right now it’s $100. Aackk. Ebay sells it for $35.
Not sure the best way to get a hold of the game. But be on the look out for it, among friends or through social media.
Sounds so fun! But yeah, definitely have to look for that one used and on sell because the $99 on Amazon is crazy!
I was also the driving instructor for my daughter & son as my husband said he didn’t think he had the patience. It is nerve wracking and I also stomped the brake on my side. My daughter was extremely careful and my son went way too fast- it drove me nuts. We came close to a couple accidents with him. We used to go to the middle school parking lot on the weekend when no one was there and it was a great place to practice parking. Good luck to you!
Great tip! I think going to empty school parking lots is our next step. Thank you!
I have been doing IF since January and am loving it. I feel like I have so much more freedom than on any diet I have ever done (and there have been many). I would highly recommend the book Delay Don’t Deny by Gin Stephans. She also has a great Facebook group as well as a podcast that has really helped encourage me and gives me great insight. The thing I love about it most is that I can still eat what I want. Also if I need or want to change my window I do. I make it work for me. Start slow. I have found that fasting for 18 hours starting from about 630 or 7pm works easiest for me most days. If I can stretch it longer I do if I can’t make it that long one day I also don’t beat myself up about it. The “life fasting app” has been handy as well and also had a selection of really great videos. I have felt like I have so much more energy since starting. It’s also changed my relationship with for for the better, read no more eating from emotional/stress/boredom.
Thanks also for the game recommendations. Our game cabinet isn’t quite as full as yours but no worries it’s just as (dis)organized. And really, should it be any other way?
Haha, that’s how I like to view my game closet. Full of happiness and chaos…kind of like our family (except the game closet is wildly free of fighting and wrestling…hmmm). Thanks for chiming in on the intermittent fasting thing! I’m not entirely sure it’s for me since I tend to do better (happiness/anxiety-wise) when I’m not restrictive, but I’m loving reading all the comments (from differing perspectives), and that’s awesome that you’ve had such great success with it. I have a lot to think about!
Just added all your new have recs to our running list on Amazon!
I know, it seems so counter intuitive. It seems like IF would make me feel completely restricted also. In reality it feels so much more freeing than any other diet or way of eating than I’ve ever tried before. It it’s so much more sustainable because I don’t have to feel guilty about eating certain foods. It’s definitely not for everyone but I was a total skeptic and am really enjoying the benefits. It really helped for me to focus on fasting for a smaller period of time and build up from there. Good luck on whatever you choose to do! Also I am really enjoying the igtv videos as well. Keep them coming!
We got a game recently that is a simple idea but hard to beat. You should try it and see how you like it. It’s called “The Game.” I wish it was a more exciting name haha. We got it at Target.
That’s the best name for a game ever. 🙂
I didn’t read through all the comments, so maybe someone already said this, but for me it helped to ease into intermittent fasting. I’ve been doing it since January and have lost 25 lbs (although I have 100 lbs to lose, so it’s just a start). At first it was hard, but I kept my eating window longer – 8 am to 6 pm and then gradually reduced it. Now I go most days 12 to 6 , but stay flexible, like date night or breakfast with friends. I like it because I don’t have to count calories. When I’ve dieted before and counted calories them my mind is constantly thinking about food….what else can I eat today, setting more limits on myself made me give up mentally earlier. With IF, it’s more goal oriented for me, can I go 16+ hours without eating? I can eat until I’m full once I’m in the eating window, Ooutside the eating window I don’t have to weigh can I have another cookie, do I have enough calories left for that breadstick, how many calories are in this spoonful of mashed potatoes? so it’s easier for me mentally because I already know I’m not eating outside that window, so it’s less food choices and I don’t feel limited. Not sure if that makes sense, but I really have been happy with intermittent fasting, and it’s more sustainable to me than any diet I’ve been on.
Thanks for chiming in, Allyson! It’s interesting to read how those that do IF go about it. Thank you!
I agree. It’s so freeing to not have to think about food for a good chunk of the day and they eat only my favorite and satisfying things during the eating window. No counting, no guilt.
IF- I would say your body is telling you all you need to know. I have done my share of diety things over the years and I am so over it! I read Intuitive Eating and it was life.changing. The ‘ditch the diet’ and body love/acceptance movement that is picking up momentum thrills me to my core. For far too many years we woman have been distracted from doing good in the world in the name of fixing our bodies that aren’t broken in the first place. Check out instagramers like @heytiffanyroe and @evelyntribole (and all of the people they share). Diet culture needs to be called out and squashed!
I haven’t read the Intuitive Eating book, but lots of readers below have mentioned it as a critical resource for them (and my sister has told me a lot about it). I agree with you, I do love this more recent push for body acceptance. Do you follow @beautyredefined? I love their content and how it’s started to shift my mindset. I do feel as though there’s a difference between diets and healthy lifestyle changes. I’m not the one to define that line (and ultimately I think it really is individual), but I can see how intermittent fasting, as an example, to address health issues people have mentioned, could fall into a lifestyle change vs diet culture? I don’t know. Just talking out loud here. I suppose it depends on the reasons for doing it…and ultimately, what works for one person doesn’t have to work for everyone. Anyway, thanks for the comment!
Mel! I’m a little anxious that I’m already too far down the comment line for you read my comment, but I read your post this morning (way different time zone here) and ran to my computer so I could add my two sense. I am a registered dietitian and huge Mel fan with lots to say about IF and pretty much any other diet. Dieting doesn’t work and causes so much more harm in the long run. So much to say and so little time. Regarding IF specifically, there is some research that shows some metabolic benefits but unfortunately, while the evidence is pretty strong in animals it isn’t so compelling in humans. Oh rats! We aren’t rats! 😉 Unfortunately, research is reported to the public as research, with little context on how applicable it is to real life, whether or not the study was well designed, and what the body of research says as whole, etc. etc. (So much more to say here too.) Restrictive eating plans cause powerful biological (lowered metabolism, muscle loss, hormonal changes that increase appetite) and psychological changes (cravings, obsessions about food) that in almost every instance result in eventual rebound weight gain, usually to an even higher weight. Unfortunately, the blame is usually placed on the dieter, while the diet gets off scot-free. Tying to be brief(ish) but in summary a systematic review of IF studies shows that it doesn’t hold benefits over traditional calorie restriction in terms of weight loss, compliance (actually there is unsurprising evidence that its harder to stick too in the long term) and metabolic changes. I think the hope was that IF would be able to escape the pitfall of a lowered metabolism by alternating restriction with full feeding periods. Unfortunately, I’m not sure the research has really born that out, but even if it does I still wouldn’t be convinced to start telling people to intentionally, albeit intermittently, starve themselves because there are too many other risks associated with dieting. Long term effects? Who knows? Diet research is notorious for evaluating short-term results and ignoring long-term implications. However, there is a large body of research which shows that dieting is a consistent predictor of weight gain (regardless of starting weight and including among identical twins). And the more diets a person has been on, the stronger this association is. Dieting, including IF, has also been shown to increase plasma levels of cortisol (the stress hormone). Does the stress (physical, emotional, social) involved in eating in such a restrictive way outweigh the benefit of (probably temporary) weight loss? After stopping IF, do people feel more or less out of control around food? Is there a risk of negatively influencing children who see parents abstaining from food and skipping meals? Just a few thoughts to consider. And anyone a with a history of an eating disorder or even disordered eating needs to stay far far away from intermittent fasting. Sorry for the soapbox. I can get kind of worked up about all the diet and nutrition myths floating around and really just want people to stress less about food. After all, if someone’s “healthy diet” is causing them a lot of stress it’s not a healthy diet. I haven’t included it here, due to the possibility of seeming spammy, but I temporarily abandoned an instagram account I started last year that is focused on helping people understand science and feed themselves and their families in a non-obsessive, stress-free way. Honestly, it’s a little embarrassing because I only managed a few posts before abandoning it (had multiple major life-curveballs come out of thin air), but I do plan on returning to it in the next couple weeks. Happy to share the handle if you are interested in the perspective of someone with a legitimate background in nutrition who wants to be a voice of common sense in the confuscated world of nutrition advice. And I’m not the least bit offended if you aren’t. 🙂 I’m pretty sure I have already broken all the comment-length-etiquette rules, but final words: Thumbs up to your IGTV videos and your cute son looks way too young to be driving!!
Hey Juliet! I’m really grateful for your awesomely long comment! I had pretty much concluded from my 4-day stint of intermittent fasting that it wasn’t for me. I tend to be so much healthier and happier in a non-dieting, moderate eating pattern (even if that means I’m not necessarily losing the weight I want to – I’ve just found that personally I don’t do well with restriction like Whole30, intermittent fasting, sugar detoxes). Anyway, I just casually put the IF question in yesterday’s Friday Thoughts post since I don’t know many people in real life who do it, and wow, I can’t believe how many of my amazing readers do intermittent fasting! I’ve been really surprised, and the comments in this thread have been super interesting and given me a lot to think about. But I really appreciate and love alternate perspectives and opinions, and your comment was fascinating and super helpful to read (especially coming from someone with an education/background in nutrition)! Anyway, now I have even more to think about! Thank you! And yes, share your instagram handle. Would love that. 🙂
I’ve always thought the saying should go “Never discuss politics, religion OR NUTRITION in polite company.” Definitely no shortage of strong options and more often than not I have found myself buttoning my lip in social situations where someone goes off on a particular nutrition subject without knowing my background. My husband will ask why I don’t speak out more, and the truth is maybe I should, but it can be awkward and I realize that people don’t necessarily want to hear what I have to say. I think that is why I started my instagram account. I needed an outlet. 🙂 At any rate, clear.simple.nutrition is my insta handle. Not kidding when I say it died almost as soon as it was born but I really do plan to revive it soon. Having an outlet and a chance to change the way people think about food and nutrition is important to me. And I do know that you take a very reasonable approach to food. One of the things I love about you. That and all the great recipes of course.
Thanks so much for sharing, Juliet! And if it makes you feel better, I have literally no education in most of the things I’m particularly strong minded about and I also find myself biting my tongue (literally) so I don’t say my opinions out loud in social situations where the topic comes up. But I always tell my husband “if most people knew what was going on in my mind, they’d be scared” haha
Parenting thought: Recently I have been trying to learn more about changing the way I perceive myself as a parent. Sometimes I have a tendency to jump to irrational conclusions, or have all or nothing (black or white) thinking, ie “I should have responded more postively to my child. Good parents are positive and happy. I am not a good parent.” This way of thinking isn’t really looking at the whole picture – and there are more accurate ways of thinking. For example, “I did not respond as positively as I would have liked to have. I apologized. Next time I will try to respond more positively (and I bet I’ll have another opportunity in about 2 and a half minutes). 🙂 I love my kids, they know it, and I will never stop trying.” I loved this post by Dr Seth Gillihan. He teaches how to use Cognitive Behavior Therapy to challenge thoughts of being a bad parent. http://sethgillihan.com/think-youre-bad-parent-challenge-critical-thoughts/ I love that he made it so simple – now I can just practice writing down my thoughts and feelings and then jotting down more accurate thoughts.
LOVED that article, Trish. I just read it from your link. Thank you for sharing that! Totally was what I needed to read this morning and start putting into practice!
IF- I’ve been doing it for a couple years. Like some other people said, you don’t have to do it every day. Although, I’ve found that I feel better now on the days I do it. Also, drink lots of water when you aren’t eating. That really helps my grouchiness.
Also love your IGTV videos!
Thanks, Lindsey!
We intermittent fast for health reasons. We have some AI diseases in our family, and the intermittent fasting really keeps the inflammation down.
My Mom is actually in a fasting study. She fasts one day a week for 24 hours. She went into it a skeptic, but in only a few months she’s noticed a decrease in joint pain. Her lab results are showing great results too.
Thanks for sharing this, Sherry!
I love love love you and all of your yummy recipes, and the REAL talk and opennes and vulnerability that you bring to this space. Thank you!
I have to say, though, that the talk of IF in this space hit me like a punch to the gut… it was hard for me, and I feel kind of odd being the only one who seems to have that stinging reaction. There are so many women who struggle with eating disorders, myself among them for 25 years, and IF to me is just like an expressway to dangerous behaviors. Will it cause harm to everyone? Certainly not, but if you are predisposed to disordered eating patterns (much of it is how your brain is wired, not a choice you willingly make) this is really playing with fire. I know that the culture we live in puts dieting and “wellness” above all else, but this space always felt safe in that way. Of course I am able to accept that what’s good for me may not be good for anyone else and we should all be able to talk openly about what we are thinking, feeling, doing, and trying, and I absolutely respect your decision to do so. I’m not going anywhere as a reader and huge fan-girl of yours… but I just wanted to add my voice and what feels like a missing perspective to the mix. I like the blog Not Plant Based to help keep me sane on the struggle bus of recovery. Thanks for being you. You’re awesome.
Thanks for your comment! I appreciate it very, very much. I’m sorry if my bringing up intermittent fasting rang alarm bells for you. It wasn’t my intent to push that idea/method out there as the right thing for everyone or even to make it a diet-focused discussion; I really was curious about others’ experiences. I’m truly sorry that it hit you the wrong way. I definitely do want this to be a safe space and I try really hard for that…but I can also totally respect and understand that some of the things I bring up or say may be triggers for some. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability surrounding disordered eating. I think that’s something we absolutely, definitely have to acknowledge and support with each other as women and we DO need to have that missing perspective in this comment thread. Such a great point, and I appreciate you bringing it up. Thanks, friend.
all my kids learned to drive in a suburban! If they can drive/park that they can drive anything!!!!
Yes! These are my thoughts/hopes/dreams.
The game closet made me laugh. Thanks for all the recipes. I especially love the new videos in IGTV. Please keep them coming.
Thanks, Pam!
For screen time, check out the Disney Circle. I don’t have one personally but everyone I know who does loves it.
https://meetcircle.com/circle-home
Manage every device on your existing home network. With Circle Home, parents can Filter content, put a Time Limit on screens, set a BedTime for every family member, and more.
Thanks, Kirsten!
I do intermittent fasting and I love it. Here are my keys: 1) Make sure you’re eating enough during your 8 hour eating window. This seems counterintuitive but the benefits of IF are not that you’re eating less. If you don’t eat enough you’ll feel lousy and starve. 2) There is really a small window where I’m actually hungry. For me I eat from about 10am-6pm or 11am-7pm. I get hungry at 9. I have coffee in the morning (I don’t know if you drink caffeine but herbal tea would help) at 6am and then I’ll have a cup of tea at 9 and that staves off the hunger. It also helps to keep busy during my hungry time. I also drink a lot of water. I hope that helps.
Driving with teenagers… Not for the faint of heart. We let our boys drive everywhere, every time they were in the car. It was so scary (the freeways with both boys were terrifying) but it made them better drivers and made me more comfortable with them driving. I made the mistake once of not paying attention while my permitted driver was behind the wheel and I would not recommend that. The first time my older son was able to run an errand for me it made it almost all worth it. Good luck!
Thanks for the fasting tips, Leah! I am seriously so surprised at how many of you are intermittent fasters! I can’t believe you’ve all been keeping this from me. Haha I thought we were friends! Friends tell friends when they are fasting 16 hours a day. 🙂 I am excited for the independence of a driver. Right now he’s scared to get back behind the wheel after a small fender bender and I’ve decided not to force him and let him wait until he’s ready (I just hope that’s before, say, 2022).
I hate to type this but he’ll probably be the best driver out of your lot after this fender bender. Good to get it out of the way when he’s still malleable. A little fear is healthy. Hopefully he’ll get back on the horse so to speak quickly.
I’m so glad you asked the IF question! I’m learning tons.
Thanks, Leah! I think you may be right!
I was totally laughing because I just did intermittent fasting for about 4 days as well! I think I could do it and I might still occasionally. Did you know that even doing just a few days per week can be helpful?! So definitely keep that in mind.
I’m excited to read more about the tips for better technology use…definitely something we can do better with in our home.
I love your Friday thoughts and I basically just wish you were my next door neighbor! ❤️
I actually didn’t know that about IF. I kind of thought it was an all or nothing deal. So thanks! Gives me hope! Haha. Also, we just bought 25 acres behind us, so feel free to move on in! 🙂
Hi Mel! I just wanted to say that I met THE “Aunt Marilyn” with your Aunt Jeanette at my church a couple of weeks ago….I have contacted you before….Jeanette is my neighbor…I love you and your Friday thoughts! The End.
Oh yay!! I bet that was fun! I’m just a little put out they didn’t invite me for that birthday celebration trip. Haha.
Hmmmm–I’ve only recently heard about intermittent fasting, so I’ve never done it myself. I would say I am closer to the opposite of IF since I seem to eat morning, noon and night and in between. Room for improvement there, I guess!
Regarding screen time–cell phones and social media—that’s a tricky one. My daughter is a senior in high school and has had a smart phone for a few years. Since me and my husband pay for it, she knows at any time I can access it and take a look at what’s on there. The problem is that apps like Snapchat the message/pic goes away after a bit, so you can’t see what was sent. Kids also create a ‘Finsta’ (fun instagram) that they only share with friends. Parents don’t typically know of that one because kids have a regular Instagram. I have had many a talk with my daughter telling her to be very careful what gets posted. That stuff is out there FOREVER whether it disappears or user deletes it. I, myself, am not on social media at all and my daughter knows that there are a lot of pitfalls out there. I just figure I would rather have her get used to a smart phone now instead of when she is in college and has complete independence. We have worked through some issues this way with her being at home.
Teenage driving is an interesting time. Terrifying in some ways, but also so rewarding when they gain that independence and can drive themselves to places. My daughter drove almost every chance she could get. We live close to an interstate where the speed limit is 70 mph, and it took quite some time before I would allow her to drive on it. I let her drive on country roads and side roads so she could build up some experience before driving on the freeway. Best thing we ever did once she got her license was to put on a tracking app. We can see her speed and where she goes. That is handy especially when out with friends, dates, etc.
Better stop here before this gets any longer!
Loved all your thoughts, Lori! Thank you! And I really agree with you on allowing my kids to have access to a smart phone while they still live under my roof and have some boundaries. I think that’s important for sure.
I do IF too. Read the book The Weigh Down Diet (you can find on Amazon). It’s easier to do in the summer when it’s easier to drink a lot of water. I try to be done with dinner by 6 (date night is harder) and then not eat lunch until 11 at the very earliest. I have a light lunch … maybe an avocado with something, some of leftover quinoa chili, etc and then I make a nice dinner for my family every night. I try to not pop anything in my mouth in between meals cause insulin starts going and making fat. I think a light lunch is key and I’m happy if I’m hungry by 3 because then I’m motivated to start making a nice dinner. I feel this allows me to have desserts (usually homemade), breads, pasta, pizza, etc. Someone told me to imagine how many meals are sitting on my body and every time I feel hunger pains, to think about my body eating those meals off my body. I lost 10 lbs and have kept it off.
Such interesting insight, Becky! Thank you for sharing!
We, too, have a 15 year old with a permit and a giant car (an Expedition). I also feel bad that he has to learn on it but it is what it is (my fav saying right now!). We do have a car for him when he turns 16 (he is the oldest of 5 kids and his dad and I neeeed another driver to help shuffle everyone around!) but he is less than excited about it because it’s a stick shift! He’s tried it once…and that was like 6 weeks ago, haha! I love it because it will be a lot harder to text and drive, which he better not do anyway! It’s just a weird time, trying to let them learn because you know they need to buy not wanting to! I get it!
Hahaha. We are twins, Evelyn, because that phrase (it is what it is) comes out of my mouth 100 times a day. You know what? I learned how to drive with a stick shift and I am convinced that it makes better drivers. I mean, not that I’m a great driver, but it definitely made me more aware and focused, and in this day and age of teenagers having the temptations to look at screens and text while driving, I think learning with a stick shift takes all their attention for that. We are looking for a good “kid car” for our older drivers and I’m pretty determined to find a manual (they aren’t excited about that, though).
I learned on automatics (not many manual minivans out there) and had a few rear-enders between age 18-20 as a result of not paying enough attention. Got a manual next and boom, paid more attention and no accidents since! I’m back to driving a minivan with my own kids and I don’t think it’s just maturity and responsibility that keeps me paying better attention; I really think a few years of driving stick helped.
I think you are right, Amy!
Games:. We place our board games on the shelves like books. Each box rests on it’s side. It fits more games on the shelf that way, too.
Ok, now that you’re like the 12th person to recommend this, I’m seriously face palming…why have I never thought of this??
I am loving the bake with Mel videos. So fun! And I have made both items you made in the videos and they were super delicious!
Thanks so much!
Serious?? That made my day!