Monday Thoughts: Will You Help Me?
UPDATE: I wanted to let those of you know who check back here for an update, that our sweet Holli ended her earthly battle with painful terminal cancer on April 2, 2021. I don’t know anyone who lived life as full of faith and testimony and love for God as Holli, so it was bittersweet and beautiful that she passed away on Good Friday, just days before Easter. Words are inadequate to describe the heartbreak of the last few days as her husband and six kids have faced this new reality, but her family has been comforted and buoyed up by the knowledge that Holli is finally free of pain and suffering, and they are clinging to the knowledge that they are not alone, that God is aware of them, that He will help them, and that they will see Holli again.
Thank you for your overwhelming support on this post and through other means for Holli and her family. Her sister and I read her your comments as they came in – she was brought to tears every time as so many of you shared your own personal challenges. She couldn’t believe over 1,000 of you chose to do something hard for her. It touched her in ways impossible to describe and gave her peace that carried her through her final days as she contemplated that her life and example might have possibly inspired others and maybe even helped change lives in some way.
We love you, Holli! Life will truly never be the same without you.
——–
I’m taking a little departure from my usual recipes today. We’re going straight into Monday Thoughts (never been done before). Just go with it.
I have some things weighing on my heart and mind that I want to share with you.
But first, I want to tell you about someone.
Her name is Holli. She’s an incredibly dear friend of mine (think: soul sister type of friend).
In all my years of blogging, I’ve never dedicated a whole post to a real, live human. Chocolate chip cookies? Yes. Random Friday thoughts? Yes. Special human beings? Not so much.
But today, I need your help. Holli needs your help.
It might not be the “help” you are thinking of, but if you have a minute, stick with me for a story and then a request (spoiler alert: it has nothing to do with money).
The back story: I’ve known Holli for six years – ever since we moved from Minnesota to Idaho. She’s spunky. She’s hilarious.
She’s a truth seeker and a fighter for justice. She’s an amazing mom to six wildly wonderful kids. She constantly serves everyone around her. To know Holli is to love her.
Amid all of Holli’s greatness, she’s had an incredibly challenging life. Not all of the details are mine to share, but suffice it to say, her life has not been easy. Intense infertility, adoption, countless (and I mean countless) surgeries for health issues related to colitis, job stresses, and the list goes on.
Most people don’t know many of these things about Holli because she is in that rare camp of: Fiercely Independent Non-Complainer.
Seriously, if I didn’t love her so much, it would be almost annoying, because she just.never.complains. That girl can fight through pain and struggle like no one else. (And yet, she still listens when I complain about my pigs escaping or my cookies burning.) #goodfriend
About a year and a half ago on top of all the other challenges Holli has faced in her life, after finding a seemingly innocent lump, she was unexpectedly and devastatingly diagnosed with stage 4 internal metastatic mucosal melanoma. This diagnosis came out of nowhere, and needless to say it has rocked their family’s world.
The last 15 months have been filled with immunotherapy, radiation, flights to Mayo clinic for consultation, more treatments, pain, and indescribable stress and worry.
(Not to mention six kids and all of their daily, busy, and often difficult emotional needs.)
Through it all, Holli has remained one of the strongest warriors I’ve ever seen. She has powered through horrific treatment side effects that would easily fell the rest of us, and has quite literally taken on the full-time job of fighting cancer.
She has not once given up hope. She has retained a strong and abiding faith in a loving God who knows her and has a plan for her.
Miraculously, 2020 gifted Holli more than six months of respite, thanks to a combination of immunotherapy, holistic treatments (gosh, I could tell some stories involving slippery elm gruel and tinctures here but I won’t), and a complete shift to a sugar-free and vegan diet.
Last month, things started to fall apart for Holli again. Sudden seizures, many ER trips, and lots of pain revealed the cancer had ferociously spread throughout Holli’s body and into her brain.
She no longer has the full function of the left side of her body and she is in excruciating pain nearly constantly.
And still. She continues to show more strength in her pinky finger than I have in my entire body and soul.
Today, I wanted to give back to Holli in some way. Sure, that can easily be done through their GoFundMe page.
But I wanted to also do something else.
Holli has spent her entire lifetime being strong for other people and using her inner and God-given strength to conquer her greatest challenges, but her body is failing her right now, and she is no longer able to do some of the things that you and I probably take for granted.
Fold laundry.
Braid her daughter’s hair.
Take a walk around the block.
Load the dishwasher.
Send a text message.
I don’t believe it’s healthy or constructive to compare challenges. Hardship and stress and grief is individual. It’s sacred. Hard is hard no matter what you are going through or dealing with.
But if I’ve learned anything from Holli’s situation, it is to look for the good (even on very bad days), appreciate the mundane, and be grateful for each and every day.
And this is where I need your help.
Will you do something for me? For Holli? For you?
Will you do something hard today? Or this week? Something that perhaps you’ve been procrastinating?
It may not be something that would be hard to anyone else, but remember: that doesn’t matter. Your life is your own.
- Maybe it’s getting off the couch and finally running that pesky mile even if you haven’t run in years.
- Or picking up the phone to call a family member who you haven’t talked to in a while.
- Maybe it’s just being grateful that you have the ability and motor skills to fold laundry today.
- Or giving your spouse or child a hug even if you (or they) feel prickly and unloveable.
- Maybe it’s finally ditching the three-sizes-too-small jeans hiding in your closet and buying a pair of jeans that fit your amazing and able body.
- Or saying a prayer for the first time in a long time (or ever).
If you feel so inclined to share, will you leave a comment on this post? Even if you aren’t sure you can do it yet, write your plan in the comments and we’ll be strong together.
I am going to plop myself on Holli’s bed and read all of your comments out loud to her. And let her know that there are people across the world inspired by her story and strength.
Holli does not like attention or being a burden or inconvenience to anyone (if you know her in real life, you know how true that is!), but she does feel as though her life has purpose insomuch as it has inspired others that they, too, can do hard things and be stronger for it.
My BeStrongForHolli goal: finally get through a 30-minute virtual cycling class without falling off and quitting and acknowledge that my body is strong and able (and also give each of my kids at least three 8-second hugs today – our home has been filled with contention lately and I need to be the impetus to changing that). Love you, Holli.
Thank you for letting me take a departure from food today.
I’ll leave you with the words of one of Holli’s favorite songs:
And I, I don’t want to leave a legacy
I don’t care if they remember me
Only Jesus
And I, I’ve only got one life to live
I’ll let every second point to Him
Only Jesus
I have the best readers in the world. Thank you for being here and for all you do to make this world a better place.
Hugs for Holli and her family! Hugs to you Mel for sharing Holli’s story and supporting a dear friend. I’m making a commitment to volunteer.
The brown wall in my living room is looming and ugly. I have wanted to paint it for years. I will go to the store and get pretty white paint, that I’ll add teal accents to, and paint that ugly brown wall! Thankyou for the inspiration Mel and Holli! Hugs!
Today I volunteered for Meals on Wheels. I used to be a regular volunteer. They needed me today because I have snow tires. I’m grateful for the chance to help others. I will be praying for Holli.
Holli,
my love and prayers are with you and with your beautiful family. It sounds to me like you have set an example for your children that will inspire them to live their very best lives.
I’m grateful that you have good friends surrounding you, and I pray that you may find peace and comfort in their love, and that of your family.
Please know that your story inspires me to love better.
Kathleen, Morgan Hill, CA
Holli, my thoughts and love and fierce conviction that there is joy to be found in our lives no matter what we are going thru because of our Savior. I have decided to find ways each day to try to bring some extra light, ” some Holli light” (dedicated to you and your tremendous fight) into my life. There have been also some sadness and darkness in my life because of choices loved ones have made and are making and of course this awful pandemic going throughout the world. But,,,,,, there is still love, joy, kindness, light and hope. Not every story has a perfect or happy ending, but really there is. It is with our
Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. So our endings will be happy and there are miracles everyday if we look for them and the light (Holli’s light) in our lives.! Much love and prayers for you and your family.
Praying for miraculous healing and comfort for her and her family!!!!! Yes, this really makes one put their own struggles in perspective. As long as we have our health and each other, everything else is just stuff. Thank You for sharing this so we can send positive thoughts and prayers her way!!!! All the way from Grand Marais, MN❤️
Thank you for sharing this. Praying right now for Holli and thanking God for blessing me with 4 healthy wild and crazy children who I’ve been having a hard time dealing with lately and I’m going to be thankful tomorrow for them by holding them a little longer and enjoying them.
I am inspired by Holli and her journey! Her family is adorable. I will do Valentine’s service for my neighbors and pray for Holli.
Wow, that’s so beautiful and made me cry. You see, I lost my best friend to lung and brain cancer quite a few years ago now, but I think of her and talk to her regularly. I also have a friend who is fighting cancer, she has been for many many years, it spreads, she gets treatment, it goes into remission, back and forth it’s been for many years. She’s generous, funny, kind, never ever complains, and continues to move forward and share her generous spirit no matter how sick she is, or how much pain she’s in. I always marvel at her strength, on top of other life issues that would knock many out. We are 61 and go as far back as jr high! All of her friends were told to come and say goodbye several years ago, and then somehow, she got better. Seems Holli is also such a friend that I feel I don’t deserve, I’ve told her I think she’s been a better friend to me than I’ve been to her.
Yes, for Holli and my friend Barb who never complains, I can get off my butt, stop complaining about my thyroid problems and acid reflux issues, and get moving! I’ve said if I could get my acid reflux and thyroid issues under control with a vegan diet and exercise…I’d feel great. But continue to procrastinate.
Thank you for such a lovely story about friendship, and a wonderful spirit.
Dear Holli,
What an inspiring, beautiful and good soul you have. Reading about you makes me absolutely sure you are a light in the world. Thank you for sharing your goodness with those around you. I have had a lot of things in my life lately, with this post adding to the list, that reminds me to enjoy every moment. The good, the bad and the hard. Every moment is precious. My goal in your honor will be to express gratitude to 7 different people this week. Sending love and prayers to you and your family.
This message was so more important than receiving a new recipe.
I will keep Holli and her family in my prayers. God bless you for being such a wonderful friend.
Um…YES I will leave a comment and thank her and you both for the blessing this post’s perspective gives. What a sweet friend you are Mel. Holli, Bless you and your beautiful family. Thanks for ‘letting’ Mel share this so we (read me) could be pushed to do harder things than I have been and more of the things that I think I have time “later” to do. Prayers from this home for you and yours sent and will continue. Blessings to you Mel for your home and your Holli-inspired challenge. I am inspired and grateful for people who make the world a better place where they stand. Thank you both! XOXO
I think the words from Romans 8 applies here:
What, then, can we say about all of this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32The one who did not spare his own Son, but offered him as a sacrifice for all of us, surely will give us all things, along with his Son, won’t he? 33Who will accuse God’s elect? It is God who justifies! 34Who is the one to condemn? It is the Messiah Jesus who is interceding on our behalf. He died, and more importantly, has been raised and is seated at the right hand of God.
35Who will separate us from the Messiah’s love? Can trouble, distress, persecution, hunger, nakedness, danger, or a violent death do this? 36As it is written,
“For your sake we are being put to death all day long.
We are thought of as sheep headed for slaughter.”
37In all these things we are triumphantly victorious due to the one who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor anything above, nor anything below, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God that is ours in union with the Messiah Jesus, our Lord.
Be strong for Holli: I’m an old lady Realtor. I’m out of my depth when it comes to promoting my business on Social Media. Your post about Holli inspired me to post a live on my business Instagram page even though it wasn’t perfect! It sounds so silly but it was significant to me.
Holli’s story made me realize I need to seize the moment and stop worrying. It reminded me that I am grateful for my ability to work, for my health, for the people who buoy me up when I feel like I fall short.
I am so grateful for inspiring people like Holli who make me reflect on my legacy and the things I want people to say and think about me and then how I need to be living to make them be true. My prayers and thoughts will be with her and her family.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I was suddenly diagnosed with a rare disease that causes scar tissue to grow in my trachea for an unknown reason. At its worst point my airway was 90% obstructed and I couldn’t walk across the room without my heart racing and being completely out of breath. The only thing that is certain about this disease is that even with repeated surgery the scar tissue will always come back. Some people don’t get 6 months between surgeries, I have lasted 16 months.
Today in your honour I will not dwell on when it will come back or what the future will hold. I will be content with these good days, and be grateful that I can help my four kids with their homework, walk my dogs and fold that mountain of laundry.
God bless you, I’m praying with you. Your story inspires me to live better.
Today I’m trying harder to be patient with and understanding towards my children. Something that I especially struggle with when we are all locked inside together so much more. And I’m going to include Holli and her family in my prayers tonight.
I just love that we have women like this in the world. People who strengthen us through their trials. People we can love and love us in return. Thank you for this remi see if gratitude and strength.
After a bike accident 2 months ago my injuries are slow to heal. I seem to be on my way to a frozen shoulder and possible surgery. Been feeling quite frustrated as biking and swimming are my thing. I will try to remain positive and be patient so I can heal. Remind myself that it isn’t the end of the world. Today for Holli I’m going to do two things I’ve been putting off…mending clothes, and some paperwork for my daughter.
After reading your beautiful post about your beautiful friend I have a new desire to be grateful for all the day to day things I GET to do. I also have six children and my days are filled with taking care of them and I commit now to not ever complain about those tedious things that are actually great blessings. Housework and dishes and cooking and chauffeuring and diapers and all the things. They are privileges and I would like to always see them as such. Thinking about Holli has helped me to realize that I would miss all this if I wasn’t able to do it for my family. Perspective and attitude for me have shifted from what you’ve shared today and I am grateful! Sending prayers and thoughts to Holli and her family!
Holli- May God bless you and your sweet family. Today I wrote a card for someone who is in a dark place. It wasn’t hard, but it was people I know that are like you that made me want to do it. You are a light.
Thank you for sharing Holli’s story! Some people are just true warriors in ever sense of the word. I am so inspired by people like Holli and I know stories like hers simply help me cherish all the little moments of life! Today I invited a friend who is struggling to attend an online Emotional Resilience Course with me through church. She is not active in any church and the invitation was scary, but I felt prompted to do it and I’ve been trying to follow prompting even when they seem hard. Your friend will be in my prayers!
Long time reader. First time commenter.
I am going to find something to love about myself today. I am really hard on myself and having been struggling with what I am supposed to be here on this earth. Maybe being myself is enough. Prayers for you and your family Holli. ❤️❤️
Medical school is really hard some days but people like Holli help me remember that the hard is worth it <3 I’ll think of her when I’m studying tonight!
I am so sad to read this post and my heart goes out to Holli and her beautiful family. What an example of strength and faith. I’m praying right now for her husband and kids…praying they will find strength in the Lord in this incredibly difficult time.
My husband and I are missionaries. We live in an unreached people group in the jungles of Papua New Guinea. As we live life here, I am going to remember Holli and her trials…and I’m going to love on our people well. Praying that some day when they face many trials, they will also be able to turn to the Lord as their comfort and strength.❤️
Today I will not take for granted the time I have with my family. Many prayers for your beautiful friend who seems to be changing the world.
Please tell Holli that she inspired me to embrace the day and to do what I have been putting off for so long, which is to help my community by making lunches every Wednesday for the homeless. Today I went to the grocery store fueled by your inspirational story and filled my cart ready to prepare and pack lunches. Just remember that every Wednesday you are the reason many homeless will be enjoying a homemade lunch. We all need to be reminded that we aren’t alone and for that reason I love Psalm 46.5 “God is within her, she will not fall.” Trust that you won’t fall and that this is just a small part of your story!
Holli – your strength and your perseverance both humble and inspire me. Because of you, I am going to start a daily gratitude journal and work to focus on the beauty and good in my life. I am also going to write your name on the top of every page so that each day I open it, I will be reminded of your light and I will pray for you and your family. I am holding a space in my heart for you. xo
Hi Holli & Mel,
Right now we’re in the middle of a snowstorm.
My mom has been in the E.D. for hours.
She wants my husband & I to pick her up.
After reading about you, I changed my attitude about picking up my dear mother,
in the snowstorm. Our house is warm & cozy and the wood stove is burning.
But…., what you and many others are going through, is so much bigger & challenging.
Our dear lord takes care of all of us, but especially those who are suffering.
Sorry about your struggles.
There’s a reason for everything.
Take care,
Jane
I have a relatively healthy body that I don’t appreciate enough. I am super hard on myself and often put myself down. I am not at my ideal weight but worse than that, I am unhealthy. I have a 25 year old Handicapped Son that I need to be able to care for and lift for his whole life. I need to be strong to be able to do this. I have been putting off starting a more healthy attitude about myself and healthy eating habits. Today will be the end of this. I will keep Holli in my thoughts and prayers. I will keep her in my thoughts as I think of giving up. I will have faith that maybe a miracle can happen for her and she can regain her health as I seek mine. Thank you for sharing and for the challenge. I believe if you put faith and goodness out there it can uplift and help where other things cannot. All my best to you Holli.
So glad I clicked through your story – it sure was inspiring. Isn’t it amazing that we can be moved and inspired by those we don’t know – have never even met?
I hope Holli knows that she has had this effect and I hope you know that you have facilitated this wondering thing.
Today I will be compassionate – towards others and towards thoughts and beliefs that I can’t always reconcile. And, tonight I will be saying a prayer doe you both!
Dear Holli
My heart is breaking right now for you and your family. I’m so very sorry. I’m vowing right now to be a little more patient with my grandson and to be kinder to everyone I see. Life truly is too short for all this negativity our world is going through right now.
Prayers sent for you and your family and also to Mel.
Hi from Colorado! Holli, you are so brave and strong. I’m going to work hard to really listen to understand people instead of listening to respond. I’m going to look for all of the ways I can love some of the difficult people in my life. Thanks for the opportunity Mel.
Thank you Mel for inspiring all of us but, especially me to think outside myself and my life and be a little better today and hopefully every day.
I will express my love and gratitude for my hardworking, farmer husband who gets up everyday and faces all that comes his way with a smile on his face and joy in his voice. I will hug him tight for 8 seconds and express my gratitude for providing me and our children and grandchildren with a beautiful, pure example of Christ like love and service for everyone who crosses his path.
May your friend Holli’s suffering be eased and may she feel the love of her Heavenly Father. May the enabling power of Jesus Christ’s atonement fill her heart and soul. ❤️
Holli, I’m sending love. Peace to you and yours.
Praying for Hollis and her family. You are both lucky to have each other’s friendship. It is a great gift. Thank you for sharing and allowing others to help, because that, in and of itself is a gift. Gods Grace and healing shine on you.
Thank you for this post, Mel. I donated to Holli’s Go Fund Me with tears streaming down my face. Please tell her she will be in my prayers tonight. I have been recovering from Covid (nothing compared to what Holli is going through) and was finally able to run this morning. I was thankful for my returning health and the use of my body. Our health is such a precious, fragile thing. Thank you, Holli, for being such an inspiration. May God bless you and your beautiful family.
Holli has cleaned my teeth and been a wonderful hygienist for my husband. We are heartbroken. We love her and her family. She is a warrior. It seems so unfair but with her example I know she feels some peace, and our prayers will constantly be with her and her sweet family.
For Holli I will run 2 miles every day I work out. That doesn’t seem like a big deal to most people but I absolutely hate running as a form of exercise, but know it’s good for me. It’s hard and doesn’t come easily. But I will do it for her. Love you Holli.
Hi Holli! This is Amy from Cedar City, UT ☺ I over scheduled myself this week but instead of getting stressed I’ll keep remembering how blessed I am and stay in the moment, finding the small things and the small moments to be grateful for ❤
Sending all the good vibes to Holli!! I’m balling reading all the comments in your feed. Today I cleaned scraped glue off the basement walls so I can paint. I am also determined not to raise my voice in anger today, so far I’ve done pretty well. Thanks for the post and the reminder that we can do hard thing!
You hang in there Holli….We are all out here praying for our sweet lord to embrace you in his big loving arms… Bless you Mel for being such a great friend!
Thank you for that amazing post. I pray for Holli and her family. Today I’m going to say a prayer of thanks that I can physically do the tasks that need done. I too am going to hug each of my kids and tell them how much I love them. Hugs to you Mel
This is a beautiful tribute to your friend, Holli. I have put off cleaning out our guest room for a year because it is piled high with all the junk in our house we quickly hide when people come over or throw stuff we don’t know what to do with in. I am going to start cleaning it out today and work on it everyday until it is clean in honor of Holli. I probably need to print out a picture of her beautiful family to remind me not to stop when I’m exhausted and want to quit! I lift Holli and her family up to our God, the ultimate healer. Blessings to you both, Mel and Holli!
My family had a rough weekend after an emergency appendectomy and positive Covid test sent all of us in quarantine. We were all feeling a bit sorry for ourselves. I know Holli and talked to my kids about their family’s latest news. Our grouchy attitude turned to one of gratitude. Gratitude for doctors that did the surgery. Gratitude that we don’t have any horrible Covid symptoms. Gratitude that we have each other to be bored with. Grateful for the perspective that God’s perfect plan gives us. Thank you Holli for sharing your joy, your faith, your optimism, and strength with all of us!
Dear Holli~as Storm Cooper is dropping 18” of snow on us here in Connecticut I will get on my knees and pray to God for you tonight. I promise not to complain about the weather, I can’t control it, I promise not to moan about who’s turn it is to clean the litter box, I will just do it……LET YOUR LIGHT SO SHINE BEFORE MEN, THAT THEY MAY SEE YOUR GOOD WORKS AND GLORIFY YOUR FATHER IN HEAVEN.
xo Geri
Inspired by your story and will be praying for you Holli. I have been toying with the idea of being a CASA advocate for children and after reading your story it made me realize there’s no time like now. . I submitted my application today and have an interview tomorrow. Hoping to help children and give them a voice! God is good!
Mel & Holli, you are so lucky to have each other.
You both inspire me to be a better person. I shall put both of you on my prayer list.
God bless and I shall be waiting for good news.
I was lifted today reading this beautiful post about Holli. What a great example and inspiration she is to all of us. Ive had a few health issues going on the last few months and it has been hard, at times not knowing why I get sick or when relief will come. When I read how Holli has changed her diet for the better, it gives me strength and courage to eat better. I will be praying for Holli!!
Today my son asked me to make Mel’s flatbread pitas. I wanted to tell him no until I read this post. I am going to cheerfully make them and enjoy the time we spend together as he helps cook them on the griddle. Praying for you Holli!
I love this story and this woman, even if I don’t know her. Just reading that short story you wrote of her has brought me strength.
Today I jumped on the trampoline with my youngest for a hour and (I stole this one from you Mel) gave each of my boys a 8 second hug as well.
I pray the Lord will comfort Hollie and everyone close to her. ❤️❤️
Today I did two things. One that makes me uncomfortable and one I actually hate.
First, I reached out to a man I don’t know to check on how he and his wife are doing. I used to work with his wife. She is an amazing person. Just before Christmas she went into heart failure because of a virus she contracted. My soul aches for them. She has now undergone multiple open heart surgeries in a little over a month, and is trying to get stronger so she can get back on the heart donor list. It was good to reach out to her husband and I believe he appreciated I. But, the introvert in me struggled.
The second thing is I’m starting on painting the main level of our house…for my wife. I would rather clean bathroom toilets than paint. I do not enjoy it. But I love her and would do anything for her.
And these are nothing. These are not hardships. These are not worth mentioning in light of the trials so many face. I pray for your friend, that she will have comfort and strength. God bless.