Friday Thoughts
Hey friends! How are you?? Like really, HOW ARE YOU?
It’s been a wild summer – much busier than I normally like things. #homebody And it’s been terribly hot. #whiner
This Idahoan is trying not to complain too much, but I’d love it if the 105+ temps stayed down south a bit. It felt like a good time to pop in with a Friday Thoughts post. Nothing too earth-shattering to share, just a lot of random thoughts as usual.
Be sure to chime in down below in the comments!
{This picture pretty sums up my coping skills right now – hanging out in the pasture with the miniature donkeys whilst snarfing down Trader Joe’s mini ice cream cones and avoiding real life and my children #notsorry}
1) Catch Up: Many of you have been here for over a decade. Others are newer friends. But I can easily say I have never been so inundated with kind, heartfelt, thoughtful messages of support and love as I have in the last six months. I always knew I had the best blog readers on the planet, but you have solidified that this year. Thank you for your incredible compassion as I shared some feelings after losing my friend, Holli.
So many of you have reached out with your own stories about grief and loss. You’ve sent cards, flowers, resources and books – and you’ve prayed for me and for Holli’s family. We’ve felt those prayers. Things aren’t easy (especially for Holli’s sweet loved ones), but life has a way of moving forward, and I’m grateful for your patience, support, and understanding.
Other factors, personally, have also felt particularly challenging this year. I think I’m the lone wolf that would gladly take 2020 back over 2021. Ha. I feel like I’ve been stretched beyond my capacity to be stretched in the last 6-9 months. Like: ok, got it! Learning lessons! Taking notes! Making changes! Can we stop now?? K, thanks. I’M DONE.
But. In a weird way, it’s just been in the last couple of weeks that I’ve actually begun to feel grateful for these mental, emotional, and spiritual challenges. They have deepened my empathy and compassion in many areas. I feel like my soul has expanded and my viewpoint has opened up widely. And I realized recently, rather abruptly, that I’m not the same person I was a year ago.
If I could sum it up in a sentence: these intense feelings and challenges I’ve had to face head on have stripped away so many of the unnecessary thoughts and beliefs I used to have and have fine tuned who I really am, what I really believe, who I want to become, and how I want to help my kids through similar situations and trials.
Anyway. I know that’s deep, and I’ve probably lost a couple people with my ramblings already, but…that’s life right now. And I love you guys enough to want to be honest about what real life feels like. I feel weirdly renewed after these epiphanies and ready to tackle the rest of 2021! Kind of. 🙂
On to lighter things!
2) Summer, Summer, Summer: Hi, how’s summer? What’s your summer shaping up to be? A travel summer? A stay-at-home summer? A work summer? A project summer?
Our summer, as mentioned at the top of this post, has been a bit busier than summers of the past.
That’s a good thing, and also an anxiety-inducing thing for homebodies like me.
Brian and my oldest, Jackson, spent 2 1/2 weeks in Belize doing humanitarian work for HEFY. It was everything we hoped it would be and more for Jackson (fun, but also hard and comfort zone pushing). My other kids are now talking about wanting to go and figuring out how to earn money to do so.
We took a trip to Montana to see my parents/family.
Cam and I snuck off to San Diego with my mom for a few days where we experienced the zoo and the beach and also Bobboi gelato (wow!) and ate at La Playa Taco Shop twice because it was so yummy…
…while the boys and Brian headed up to fish in Alaska. A bucket list item that is now checked off for them (proof of which is the 200+ pounds of fish in the freezer). Fish tacos, here we come.
{They had a deep sea charter with Tall Tale Charters and a salmon excursion (via plane and boat) through Alaska West Air. Neither of these are sponsored, but Brian says to tell you he highly, highly recommends both. It was an amazing, once in a lifetime experience for all of them.}
Now we are home and the teenagers are furiously spending the rest of their summer working. A couple full-time and part-time jobs, some lawn mowing and cookie dough selling. Anything and everything to get money in the bank!
3) Speaking Of Money + Teenagers: I feel like I might be opening up a can of worms here, but I’m always curious how other parents manage the whole “we pay for this, you pay for that” thing with kids and teenagers. Our system has ebbed and flowed over the years, but we have settled on a system that works pretty well, even though I always say it’s subject to change at any moment.
Tell me how you make this work in your home and family!
Our super fast version is we do a measly monthly allowance (google tells me I’m super cheap) until they turn 15/16.
In the “I get an allowance” phase of life, they put half of their allowance in savings, 10% to church tithing, and use the rest for their long list of wants. They usually have some type of occasional job like mowing lawns or selling cookie dough or taking care of neighbors’ animals to boost their spending money. In these younger years, we also pay for all of their basic needs like hygiene stuff, school clothes throughout the year and as they grow, etc.
As a side note, we don’t pay our kids for chores or jobs around the house or property. That just comes with the privilege of being part of our family (ha, said with some sarcasm).
Around the age of 15/16 when they can get a full-time job in the summer, allowance is cut off.
In the “I don’t get an allowance any longer” phase of life, the goal is to have a full-time job in the summer. Currently one child is working with a home builder and the other is working at a local ice cream shop. They put half their work earnings in savings, pay 10% to church tithing, and use the rest as spending money + buying many of their own needs (like their favorite hair gel).
This is also when we help them set up a checking account and debit card. As parents, we pay for four main things: car insurance, gas, phone, and a school clothes stipend*.
*a chunk of money they have to budget and use wisely for the school year and resist spending it all on, say, airpods, or else they’ll be wearing shorty shorts and high waters all year – oh wait, that’s actually the style rn
As a side note, several of you recommended the Dave Ramsey course for teens {unsponsored} last year when we were doing school from home, and my two oldest kids went through it. I haven’t read any of Dave Ramsey’s books, and I’m not making a commentary or opinion about his financial philosophies either way, but the teen course was super helpful for my kids. They learned a lot of basic personal finance principles.
Was the course interesting and breathtakingly engaging? Ha. Not really. They thought parts of it were incredibly boring, BUT, they’re still quoting from it a year later. LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE, SO THAT YOU CAN LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE. 🙂
Anyway, we’re learning as we go. My biggest thing is to make sure we are having a lot of open, honest communication with our kids about the whys and hows of what we’re doing and what our expectations are. No surprises. Just a lot of talking it through. So far everyone seems happy with the arrangement(s). Like I said above, it’s subject to change as we figure out what’s working and what’s not.
Right now my kids have a lot of opportunities to work and a lot of time to just be kids (trust me, they’re bored and they bicker with the best of them!).
I’d love to know how you manage teenagers + money + work in your family/home! Do tell.
4) My Friends: I know some of you aren’t on Instagram, so I wanted to share about some dear friends of ours (I told this story on insta stories last night).
Jared and Lisa are the parents of seven kids and the grandparents of three cute kiddos.
Four years ago, at the age of 50, Jared received the devastating diagnosis of Early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. A diagnosis that shattered his life and his family’s hearts. At the time of his diagnosis, he and Lisa had two sons still in elementary school.
Jared could no longer work; his wife, Lisa, had been supporting the family on a part-time salary while also going to school online to finish her degree. Recently Jared’s health has begun to decline even more rapidly, and Lisa had to quit her job – their only income – so she could be Jared’s full-time caregiver. Lisa and Jared’s families have rallied around them endlessly with time and resources, but they are all living in an unspeakably heartbreaking reality.
Soon after Jared’s diagnosis, he told one of his sons that before he died, he wanted to go on one last family trip to make lasting memories with his wife and kids. His dream has been to take them back to Guatemala where he lived for several years; he fell in love with the country and the people and always wanted to share that with his family.
Because of financial constraints, their family hasn’t been able to take a family vacation all together in years. Last night, I asked if we could make the unimaginable happen for this sweet family?
Could we pull together and raise enough funds to help make Jared’s last wish come true?
You guys. I posted that on insta stories less than 12 hours ago, and your response has brought me to tears – more than once!!
So many of you commented to say you wished you could give more, but all you could manage right now is $1 or $5. But you gave it, willingly.
I am witnessing a miracle as I see how many small donations are adding up to be something absolutely remarkable. Powerful, really. Don’t ever say that what you have to give isn’t enough. Whether that’s in money or time or energy or whatever. You are enough. And actually, what you have to offer is making the world a better place – it’s changing the world.
You make me want to be a better person. I honestly feel like I’m surrounded by greatness as I witness what you are doing to help this family.
I’ll be doing an update later to share the total of what has been raised for Jared and Lisa!
{If you wish to donate, you can do so on Venmo @MelAndFriendsGive or PayPal mykitchencafe@gmail.com}
THANK YOU. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
5) Gardening: after begging these amazing Armenian cucumbers off my friends last year, I finally planted them in my garden, and I’ve never been so happy to have a vegetable garden (if you’ve been around a long time, you know that my thoughts about gardening don’t always trend toward the positive – I love the harvest, I hate the actual gardening part, I hope we can still be friends).
Technically Armenian cucumbers are in the muskmelon family not the cucumber family, but you would never know that. The best part is they don’t get bitter. They are so good!
6) Oreo Cake: I just thought I should tell you that I’ve made this show stopping cookies and cream cake from Cake by Courtney four times in the last three months, and it ranks as one of the most delicious cakes in the history of ever.
And I’m not really that much of a cake person. I’d much rather have brownies or some other decadent treat. But this cake has changed all that. It’s incredible. (Two of the times, I’ve used Courtney’s chocolate cake recipe, two of the times I’ve used my favorite recipe – both fantastically delicious.)
That Oreo mousse filling is next level delicious.
7) I Recommend: it wouldn’t be a Friday Thoughts post if I didn’t recommend a game, right? Seriously, we have a game problem. We love them so much.
A reader recommended this brand, new game Finding Sasquatch {aff. link} to us, I promptly bought it from Amazon, and we are loving it. We’ve played it daily since getting it last week. It’s a bit like Clue – just Sasquatch related with a few little twists and turns. So fun! It’s great with two players (but even more fun with a few more).
I also just finished listening to a couple audibooks that I really, really liked {aff. links for books}:
–As You Wish by Cary Elwes (the story of the making of The Princess Bride movie – so entertaining!)
–Lovely War by Julie Berry (an interesting narrative viewpoint – this is a historical romance set during WWI)
–The Songbook of Benny Lament by Amy Harmon (loved this story – audiobook was so well done)
–The Book of Lost Friends by Lisa Wingate (Brian listened to this after I did; we both thoroughly enjoyed it)
–Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (I found this to be so well written and highly entertaining – the circling story kept me guessing!)
Lastly, my friend gave me this prebiotic lotion (I actually have no idea what that means), and it’s the best stuff ever. The smell. The feel. The ingredients. It’s a little spendy so I’m hoarding it a bit, but it’s worth recommending because I think I need it in my life and on my hands forever.
8) Fill in the Blank: my favorite movie right now is __________.
I need some good recommendations, what can I say. We never know what to watch when we *finally* sit down for movie night (either as a family or just me, myself, and I).
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Ok! That’s a wrap.
It’s a long one today. Thanks for being here. Thanks for being my people. Thanks for loving me and supporting me and strengthening me.
It’s weird, I know. I don’t know most of you in real life, but you honestly make my life better. I love your guts.
I have more to share but I’ll wait til next time. Don’t let me forget! (Kitchen table, living room remodel, nail polish, skin cancer update, another update on my unsponsored Hatch alarm clock, and getting your advice on a couple important things). K, byeeee!
I love your Friday Thoughts. I feel like I’m sitting in your kitchen having a great visit! (Oh, how I would love that in real life!)
You are an amazing person and mother. You bring so much inspiration to all of us. Thanks for being you, and for sharing your ups and downs with us.
Then I have accomplished my greatest desire!! I want these posts to be ones where it just feels like we’re all having a good chat at my kitchen counter. That would be a dream! Thank you, Erica!
I really enjoy your Friday thoughts posts!
Thank you, Catherine!
Love these posts! A new movie we just watched on Netflix is blue miracle, I highly recommend, it’s based on a true story. Those cucumbers looks amazing, I may need to plant them next year! Trev went to Alaska the same time Brian did it sounds like, how fun for your boys.
Thanks for the movie recommendation, Lynsie!! I think Brian got a lot of tips from Trevor – doesn’t he go up there once a year at least?
You are delightful…. After reading your post I feel like I’ve just spent an afternoon with a favorite friend! ❤️
Aileen – that was the sweetest comment ever. Thank you!
Great movies….
Herself
First They Killed My Father
Sweet Tooth (not for very young kids)
The Secret Garden (version with Maggie Smith)
Thanks for your blog!
Thank you!
Love these honest posts of yours. We don’t do allowance – because it’s another thing to think about and quite frankly I can’t keep track of things as it is. But our kids don’t go without. I think of it as the sports, school tuition, dance, music lessons (etc) are the allowance. Keeps it simple. Now they are older and earning money at jobs. I’m crossing my fingers that they’ve learned from our example? haha a course for them on finances would be a great idea too.
Love the simplicity of your plan, Rachel! Totally makes sense!
While I’m glad 2020 is over, I miss my husband working from home. It’s kind of weird when he went back to the office. I’m super grateful he was able to work from home and has a job to go back to. But I miss him. I had to cook more, but at the same time had less laundry. lol
As far as books- Art of Racing in the Rain, Lily and the Octopus, I can’t think of all the ones I’ve gobbled. I mostly do audio books now, since it allows me to do other things(mostly) lol
Movies… I’m pretty boring. I’m more a binge watch sitcoms from the 80s and 90s.
I think San Diego is one of my favorite destinations. I love the zoo and Balboa Park.
I just want to say- of all your recipes- I have no idea why I never embraced your meatball recipes. I’ve been absolutely stuck on the Turkey Skillet with Lemon rice for the last several months, but just tried the teriyaki ones. OMG!!! I need to just print them all off and make a new one each week. I think my mom always complained about making meatballs and so I always had a pre-emptive dislike for making them. I don’t understand!!! lol They are the easiest to make, so many options and ready made portions make it simple to divide up the leftovers for lunches. I even premade the mixture the night before we left on vacation and took it with us (we had a full kitchen because I don’t like eating out all the time, beach towns only have deep fried pub or seafood) and I think it tasted better mixed overnight.
Absolutely love all you share. Wish you all the best. You are so sweet to spearhead your dear friends trip. <3 <3 <3
I’m totally in to audiobooks, too, Andrea! I don’t know the last time I actually read a book. I can multitask with audiobooks and that’s my jam. I’m glad you’ve fallen in love with the meatball recipes! It took me a while, too, because I didn’t realize homemade meatballs were so much better than the frozen ones. Thanks for your comment, friend!
I’m one of the oldies here…I think maybe 12ish years? LOL! I hadn’t thought about how long I’ve been using you as a resource until now.
Anyway…chores chores chores. It’s an endless battle of fairness (and frankly not really caring what’s fair, or what they consider is fair), actually completing them, refusal to remind them to complete them, arguing with myself over if I’m shooting myself in the foot if I remind or don’t remind, making sure that even though my daughter typically did the indoor chores and my son did the outdoor chores, both were taught both chores, and they were allowed to choose which they preferred to do. And no one got out of big projects based on whether they were part of the usual chore plan. If it was time for new mulch, shrubs, etc. we were allll out there working…if it was time to clean and organize closets, spring cleaning windows, baseboards, blinds, etc….we were allll in there working. And they also were responsible (when possible due to said extra-curriculars) for cooking a meal each week. Sometimes that worked out better than others during the busy times and we just rolled with it. But during lockdown I quickly reminded them of all the times they got out of it and they both were cooking a couple times a week! It was glorious! They got very familiar with your blog!!! Selfishly I didn’t allow them to repeat recipes, I wanted them to try making several different things. And I liked the variety. I kept telling them we had Home Economics in our homeschool during lock down. They acted put out, but you could tell they liked it when everyone liked a recipe and got seconds, etc.
As far as allowance, we paid an allowance, more along the lines of what you were saying though, we weren’t paying them for their chores. They were doing those whether they were paid or not, because they live there and it takes all of us to run our house. We always made it clear we can’t make time for all the weekend extra-curriculars if the parents are the only ones doing the household work, if we all pitch in, we all get done sooner and we can all move on to the next thing. They did have jobs, even during the school year, but worked minimal hours due to sports, ROTC, etc. but we thought it was important for them to learn to be responsible towards someone other than us. We got them a car, we were mean and made them share (only 1 grade apart so mostly it wasn’t too much of an inconvenience) but they paid their own insurance. We paid for the gas until we had to get a second car for them, then they were on their own for insurance and gas and we paid the car payment. Now they are both out of high school. She’s about to start her second year in college. She chose to stay home due to COVID and not relishing the idea of just being in a dorm while all classes were online. So we basically pay all of her living expenses. We don’t really pay for much in the way of her clothes anymore (We did help with new things she needed for a new “professional job” in her field) and any hair highlights, nails, entertainment with friends, etc. are at her expense. He will be leaving next month for college 1200 miles away on a full ride navy scholarship, so we won’t be paying for much going forward except plane tickets and he will need to be outfitted with a VERY different wardrobe (from Florida to Maine) but we have been discussing what the allowance situation for him will be going forward. Initially, I was thinking…heck no…BUT…he has worked very hard to secure this scholarship that pays for school, books, housing, meals, etc. and part of his “job” will be to A. Maintain the required GPA B. Navy ROTC will essentially become his part time job and C. during summers he will be on different maneuvers with the Navy and unable to have a regular job. I don’t expect him to completely live off his savings so I assume we will still give him a stipend so he can afford entertain himself occasionally. Anyone who has tips in this area, suggestions are welcome!!
Anyway, all of this to say, of course we heard our fair share of “my friends don’t do chores” or “my friends’ parents pay their insurance” or “my friends don’t do their own laundry”, etc. But I can say that when they move out they know how to do their own laundry, they know how to cook themselves a few very good meals and know where to look for recipes, they know how to clean and do yardwork, and they know how to show up and be responsible for a job. I know our work as parents is never “done” and while we made plenty of mistakes along the way, and our kids are far from perfect, I feel good about the people we are sending out into the world. I guess, no matter how any of us parents chose to shepherd our kids across the finish line, the best we can hope for is good, kind, hard working humans. We all just do our best and then it’s all up to them. I’m sorry that was so long! I guess I needed to get that out!
Thanks for chiming in, Elizabeth! Appreciate it! I’m not sure how we’ll navigate the post-high school world. Sounds complex and ever changing! Your kids also sound amazing, and it’s clear you’ve given them a solid foundation to work from in terms of responsibility and finances. That’s what I care about too: I just want my kids to be good, responsible humans.
My mom passed away five years ago after a seven year struggle with early onset Alzheimer’s. She was 49 when diagnosed with 3 grandchildren also. I’m pretty sure it was the hardest thing any of us will have to go through in this life. I can’t even explain how difficult it was. But…. even though I miss my mom every day, I’ve been blessed with opportunities to learn and grow more like my Savior through all the heartache. My heart truly goes out to that family. It’s something you can’t understand unless you’ve gone through it. Remember God has a plan even if we aren’t able to see it in the moment. Sending love and prayers.
Oh Lauren, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I literally cannot even begin to understand or imagine the heartbreak of being on that path with your sweet mom. Thank you for expressing your empathy and thank you for your prayers. Appreciate you.
We do about the same as you for our kids. I have been making my teens pay a portion of their car insurance, but haven’t done that during COVID be size they never go anywhere. We have the pit 50%in savings too. I’ve decided we need to have them set up and track a budget. It’s great that they have the money in their savings acct, but it isn’t helping them budget for things they want to buy……my oldest really struggled with that at college this past year. It also doesn’t help that Rexburg pays so little for hourly work. We live in the east and the hourly minimum is quite a bit higher here. So that is something we are working on. Thanks for all the books selections. I’ve added them to my Audible wish list. Amy Harmon is great. I’ve enjoyed the audio of all of her books. And we will have to try that game. One of our new favs is Cover Your Kingdom. So good…..it’s like Cover Your Assets, but better because you can mess with piles, rearrange or trash. It’s fun! My oldest is headed to Mozambique next week for her HEFY trip she missed out on last year! It’s going to be great! I love your blog I love your words, kindness , and the love you show for others! Thank you for being such a great example of a disciple of Christ!
Thanks for adding your thoughts here, Lisa! I appreciate it! I think the budgeting aspect of teaching teens about money is really important. Thanks for that reminder! And we love Cover Your Kingdom, too! I need to get it out more to play. So excited for your daughter’s HEFY trip – I bet it will be amazing!
Brooke Romney has some great lists of family movies to watch
https://brookeromney.com/category/movies/
Thank you!!
Live that your son was able to go to HEFY with his dad! My daughter is on the same trip ( in Africa) right now. I miss her like crazy, but can’t wait to hear about it.
A great movie I saw recently was the Guernsey literary and potato peel society- haha long title but GREAT movie set in WWII. Great love story as well.
And that Oreo cake looks amazing!!
I would love for one of my kids to go on a HEFY trip to somewhere in Africa. I hope your daughter had an amazing time! I loved that movie, also (and loved the book!).
Just want to say I appreciated your post about being different after this last year and all you dealt with in your life. I walked with my sister who battled terminal cancer for 8 years and boy did my outlook change! I am a born-again believer in Jesus Christ and my faith made me able to walk along side her during some dark times. But I let go of so many little things that bothered me – this or that – and realized each day is a gift so forget the small petty stuff and LIVE! God never promises us an easy life but He is always there to walk with us thru the rain. I love your blog, your candid sharing, wonderful recipes and getting a glimpse into the wonderful person you are! Keep on keeping I and may the Lord strengthen you for what He sets before you one day at a time! Blessings ♥️
What an amazing journey you’ve been on, Kelli. I loved your thoughts. So much.
Two actually. 1 – I made the chicken salad 2 days ago and YES it was the absolute best I ever tasted. I doubled the dressing portion and used what was left from the chicken salad in pasta (elbows) salad. It was awesome ! This pasta salad recipe was my mother’s – the only recipe I ever used for it. Again – this dressing ;amounted to such an improvement I will keep on using it. And sharing it with whomever!!!
Second comment – Mel! You are the most giving person I have the privilege of “knowing.” I was so touched by your response to the death of Holli and wrote then. The family is precious. And now you have laid Jared and Lisa and their precious family on my heart. Thank you so much for that sharing. I will follow up on them and be praying…Thank you Mel, so very much. Jan Nye – been with you a couple of years now.
I’m glad you loved that chicken salad, Jan! And thank you for your kindness. I have felt so pushed to do something to help Jared and Lisa. I couldn’t sleep until I put it into action. So glad you are still here – thanks for sticking around after several years!
There haven’t been many new movies out for awhile, so my family have found a couple shows we like. Forged in fire is one show. It’s a competition between blacksmiths to make a knife (different kind of knife each show) in a certain amount of time. Then they do different things with the knife to see which is best. It’s really fun to watch. We also like to watch Alone. People dropped off in the middle of nowhere and show their survival skills.
As far as kids and teens working, our kids also get full time jobs in the summer when they are 16. We told our kids we will pay for their mission, they pay for their college. So they all have savings accounts to save up for their college expenses. We do help some, like the Christmas during their senior year of high school we get them a really nice laptop for their gift that they can take to college. We have one daughter in college right now. When we drop her off in the fall we do a big grocery shopping trip that we pay for to help her get started for the year and I also send care packages once a month to help out.
Before the kids are 16, they do little jobs they can find like pet sitting,babysitting etc.
For school clothes I made a list years ago of a good number of each article of clothing they should have. Like a certain number of pants etc. Then I go through each child wardrobe before we start school shopping and write down how much they need of what. If they want something after I have bought all the clothes needed than they buy that themselves. That’s how we work that, but like you sometimes things need to be tweaked as time goes on or if something could be done better. I loved reading how you run things with your kids and I’m excited to read what others do as well. I love getting more ideas.
That was long. I love you blog! It’s my favorite food blog:) I live in Boise:)
Oh my goodness, so funny you suggested those two shows! My kids have been obsessed with Forged in Fire and just tonight my 14-year old convinced us to watch Alone (he had watched it at his cousin’s house) – and now they’re super obsessed with that show, too! I love your system with your kids, Jeana! Thanks for sharing!
Love these posts! Thanks for the book recommendations and the cake recipe. Perfect timing as we have a birthday coming up next month! For movies we loved “Peanut butter falcon” and “Jojo rabbit” both were a hit with kids and adults alike. We’re also loving the series on Netflix called “Atypical”. Thanks for all the yummy recipes and entertaining posts over the years.
Thanks for the movie recs, Jina!
Just made a small donation for your friends. Thanks for being you, Mel. Love you!
Oh, Kathryn – thank you!!
Hi Mel-
I always love these posts. I have a kids & money book recommendation: the Opposite of Spoiled by Ron Lieber. I found it tremendously helpful when I started thinking about how to do allowance etc, and it has lots of discussion for every age kid. Maybe you’ve read it?
I haven’t read it – thanks for the recommendation! I’ll look into it for sure!
Longtime reader here! I’m sure it’s in totally different ways, but I also find myself missing elements of 2020 (must obviously put a disclaimer of minus the pandemic and all the hardship it brought to so many). It made me appreciate simple things like nature and the ability to make delicious food.
This past spring, my husband and I sold the condo we’d lived in for 14 years – had not intended to stay that long but were underwater until the sudden market uptick – and now we’re staying with his parents until we figure out what’s next. Life is a little crazy and I miss playing around in my own kitchen, though I’m sure if I decided to make that amazing looking Oreo cake my in-laws wouldn’t complain. 😉
For movies, in the past year I’ve loved “Soul” and “Raya and the Last Dragon”…the latter of which made me sob at the end because it felt like a parallel of the real world in a way. And I must always mention my favorite movie of all time, the 25-year-old film “That Thing You Do”…just a sweet, simple story with fun costumes and music, great one-liners, and Tom Hanks – how can you go wrong?
Wow, sounds like a big life change for you, Molly! Good luck as you navigate this next phase of life. Thanks for the movie recommendations!!
What a wonderful and timely post! Thank you for sharing your heart!
Kids and Money…..Our kids are 16, 14, 11, and 10. We don’t give an allowance. They do their chores in order to eat. “If they WON’T work then they WON’T eat.” However, grandparents give money for birthdays as well as $3 for Valentine’s, Easter, etc. (The $3 tradition began when Grandma found out we’d told our kids it was a Music Truck, just driving thru the neighborhoods during the summer playing music for people to enjoy. Yeah….Grandma decided her poor Grands needed some ice cream money and she uses whatever holiday she can find to send it. Haha!). The kids tithe 10% of their birthday monies.
By age 13, our oldest mowed his aunt’s yard during the summer for mission trip money. Our second oldest planned to babysit at age 13….but the pandemic put a stop to her plans and she hasn’t earned anything.
Meanwhile, our oldest is now 16 and has a part-time job at a locally owned bakery (10 hour days twice a week, with sometimes a third day as needed). He brings home extra goodies that didn’t sell that day. Yum!!!!! He also does a lot of volunteer work: senior citizen gathering mid-week at church, library, and volunteer assistant swim coach.
What does he do with the money? He tithes 10%, pays for his gas, and saves the rest to fund future youth trips and to buy a car. He has few material wants. (His dad and I recently had to stage an intervention and say “Son, you NEED new shoes.”)
What about the other three kids? We pay for everything but within limits. Two girls recently wanted new swim suits “just because”, so they paid for them out of their birthday monies. And the latest $3 from Grandma has gone towards goodies at the neighborhood pool snack shack. Haha! (Mom insists on packing healthy snacks and refuses to give any money towards the junk food.)
Favorite family movies? Well, our taste in movies is rather old-fashioned. A few of my kids’ favorites:
The Third Man
North to Alaska
Chariots of Fire
Twelve Angry Men
Shirley Temple
Incredibles
“Real People” Cinderella
Wow! My comment is almost a blog post! So sorry for being so long!!!
I loved your comment. Thank you!! Love hearing how you manage “the money” thing with kids. Your 16-year old’s bakery job sounds amazing (and I would not be sad about the extra goodies, haha). I’m like you, I don’t fund the gas station junk food stops. It drives me nuts when my kids nickle and dime away their life savings on gatorade and gum. Oh well. Life lessons. There’s fruit leather and almonds in the snack bag if they want them. 🙂
You’re awesome, Mel. Thanks for sharing your light!
I need some donkeys to hide from my kids and life with. I usually try to hide on the top bunk in my boys’ room.
My favorite movie right now is good, old Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken. I found in on DisneyPlus and it’s brings back a lot of memories from the good old days of my youth 🙂
Hey, the top bunk totally works! I actually may still that idea. haha. Hang in there! And I JUST watched Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken with CAm – we loved it! And I agree, it totally brought back a lot of nostalgia from watching it as a teenager.
Thanks for all of your thoughts (Friday’s). I appreciate your busy life. My life is also busy, but not like yours with all of your children. I had 6 children, all girls but 5. Now I have 19 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. I was a nurse, and worked mostly while my children slept. 22 years in L & D and Newborn nurseries, and then 14 years as a Hospice Nurse. I love to cook, and my daughter got me onto your blog and recipes, which I love. I especially love your chicken fajitas. Oh my YUM!! Can’t use cheese, as I have high levels of mold in my body, but with your fajitas cheese is not needed, as they as so savory and delicious. Thank You! Gayle Halversen
Hi Gayle! Thanks for the comment! What an amazing busy life you’ve led so far! So amazed by what you have accomplished both in nursing and with your kids (and I’ve heard being a grandma is about the best thing ever!).
My current, and maybe always, favorite movie is About Time. It’s a lovely story that includes a bit of time travel, but is really about love and the beautiful relationship between a father and son. I’ve watched it over and over, and love it more each time. It has a wonderful cast, and some great scenery. 10 stars!
Thanks, Jay! I’m excited to watch that movie!
I loved ALL of your thoughts! I feel like I should make the Oreo cake and then reread the post. Although running to Trader Joe’s for mini ice cream cones would be so much faster and not overheat the kitchen. Ha!
I think allowing yourself to be flexible in figuring out the whole money and kids situation is critical. If it is working, then keep it going…adjust as needed. I am a fan of fluid and flexible budgeting…. Having awareness and conversations is key to having it work the way you hope.
Lovely war and anxious people are two of my favorites that I have read/listened to more recently. I would also much rather harvest the garden than tend it. I picked my first blackberries and raspberries of the season this morning. Even with the crazy hot summer we have had here, my berries are bearing fruit! Moments like this…gathering the first fruits of the season…help me to reflect and remember that I have so much to be grateful for…especially for you and all you share with us.
Love you to pieces. xoxoxo
Sounds like we are kindred spirits, Meli. And I agree – go for the mini cones now and make the cake later. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your gratitude moments – I needed the reminder!
HAHAHA Sasquatch is no longer available on amazon….I think you sold them out!
Oh my goodness, I just looked and you’re right! I hope it comes back in stock soon!
Classic favorite movies I’m loving again: The Court Jester (Danny Kaye), That Thing You Do.
Also recent watch from Disney+ “The Finest Hour(s?)”. Based on a true story of one of the most miraculous Coast Guard rescues of all time. Seriously – SO well done and intense but CLEAN. Chris Pine (one of the famous Chris’) is the main character and does an amazing job of being someone other than himself. 🙂
Thanks for the recommendations, Sandy!
My favorite thing to watch right now by far is the TV series “The Chosen”. You can download “The Chosen” app on your phone and watch it for free! It will even castify to your tv. It is a much watch this summer!
Oh my goodness I second this 100 times over. It is such a beautiful show!
Yes! I love “The Chosen!”
Thanks, Leisel! We watched the first couple of episodes a while ago, but we need to get back to watching it!
Love the movies I Can Only Imagine, Amazing Grace and Just Mercy
Thanks, Denise!
My kids worked hard in school, all AP classes and late nights of excess homework. During the two months off in summer I let them sleep late and recharge. They had music lessons, sports camp, and lots of summer reading, but I wanted them to have the summer off knowing they would be working almost all of their adult life after college. Maybe I was wrong in not making them have summer jobs, but all three are now working, married, and have good jobs. I remember my summers as the best time of my childhood and I wanted them to have that too. Childhood is such a short time of life. I think there is no one right way to handle this. Every family is different with different priorities.
Thanks for this Friday update. I hope you have a better second half of the year, with healing and happy family memories. All my best to you and your wonderful family. Family is everything!
Not wrong at all, Teresa! That’s why I love hearing how other families do it. There is a lot of space for all of us. Family situations and kids are so unique. It sounds like you’ve done an incredible job at raising some really good humans. I hope we can do the same!!
I love these posts and this one especially. Thank you for your thoughts and sharing your heart. I feel like this is a very one sided relationship – you give (recipes and wisdom) and I benefit from it. Your words meant so much to me today and I’ve save your thoughts on being enough in my phone and will read them when I’m feeling extra discouraged. Really, I wish I could better express how grateful I am to you for everything you share.
I have no advice on money. Right now we basically have no system. As for movies, a few that I am always willing to watch are Remember the Titans, Enchanted and Emperor’s New Groove. I’ve added your game suggestion to my wish list. I just put together 4 bookshelves to help with our ever expanding game and puzzle collection, so now I have space for new games. (Not that I didn’t buy new games when I didn’t have space. . . . ) Speaking of games, have you tried Quacks of Quedlinburg? We just played it with friends and bought it immediately, it is really fun.
Sorry to go on and on. Thanks again for everything, you really are the best!
Thank you for your heartfelt comment, Jennifer. Seriously. I appreciate that you took the time to comment. My sister loves that game (the quacks one)…looks like I need to geton board!!
Thanks for the response Mel!
Hi! I’m one of those long time readers. Our lives are very similar but I’m a few years ahead of you. We would be friends in real life… My oldests are 24. And my one daughter just graduated from high school. It has caused a legit pain in my heart to have her go! It’s so much fun to have a daughter that has become a genuine friend! I love and adore and truly enjoy my boys too (five boys!) but the relationship with my daughter is different. She is going to HEFY on Wednesday!
You are way more organized than we are with money and chores in general. The kids are crazy ridiculously busy during the school year with sports, music snd school so we don’t ask them to work. Summer is hard for regular jobs as well with all the sports and church camps and family reunions. They pick up side jobs and I hire them to help with our super busy puppy business. (We raise Goldendoodles). Everyone has chores and we work out money with each one individually but there isn’t so much of a standard method for us.
We are trying to eat more of a whole foods plant based diet (health not moral reasons). I don’t care so much about GMO stuff but we need some good tasty recipes that don’t feature meat so send them our way!!
I’m not Mel, but have followed her for years, and also eat a whole foods plant based diet for health reasons. Some of her recipes, with slight tweaks, are among our very favorite dishes. IP Banana Bread Oatmeal (use almond milk), Satay Chicken(less) Noodle Salad (leave out chicken and add a can of chickpeas), Summer Roasted Vegetable Salad (leave off feta or sub a vegan feta; I also add chickpeas and roasted red onion), and prob my very fav: Black Bean and Sweet Potato Burritos, except I serve as a taco filling and leave out the cheese. Then add a plant-based cheese sauce over the tacos. The filling is amazing! There are more (her curry dishes included); these just came to mind. Good luck!
(Thanks for chiming in, Alicia – such good tips!)
It sounds like you have it very well together, Kimberly! Seriously! Running a puppy business is no joke. Our friends do that, and their kids work really hard to help support it. I’m so excited for your daughter to go on HEFY…but sad for you that she’s leaving you for college. RUDE! 🙂 I hope your momma heart manages ok.
I have teenage boys and they mow lawns for work. It’s kind of nice to set their own schedule (they mow about 30 lawns in 3 days), but it makes it a little hard to go out of town for more than about four days. Oh well, it’s good for them to work hard and they love earning money. I’ll have to check out the Dave Ramsey course for teens. Also, I love that you’ve done this for your friends, Jared and Lisa. What a difficult, heartbreaking situation for them. Thank you for doing what you can to help them! We all love your guts too, Mel.
Thank you, Madison! Sure appreciate you. And wow, impressed with your teenagers! That’s awesome they have a thriving lawn mowing business and do so well at it! Love that.
Our oldest is 13, so no real jobs here. The kids get a weekly allowance every Saturday during the summer because they are expected to do more work (chores, piano, learning work, etc) each day than during the school year. They pay for their wants (Barbies, video games, yo yos) and we pay for their needs and family fun. During the school year there are birthdays and Christmas and other gift giving holidays where they can hope for things they want.
Favorite movies: does binge watching The Mentalist count?
Yes, binge watching counts! 🙂 And thanks for chiming in on your family’s plan. I love hearing how other families make this work!
Emma (the new one), could watch it over and over!
I haven’t seen it yet, but I think I need to!
I am feeling some of the same feelings you have been going through with the loss of your friend. My nephew is currently in the ICU after an accidental electrocution on the 4th of July. A total unnecessary accidental that will probably cost him his life. He is only 19 and was getting ready to live with his friends next month and hopefully have a more normal year at college. I don’t understand God’s plan of taking good young people and I hurt so much for my brother, sister in law, and his brother and sister. I am trying to be at peace knowing he gets to go be with his Creator and we are left here having to grieve. I’m having a hard time knowing when I last saw him on the 3rd it would be the last time. Thank you for sharing your feelings in your previous posts and being so honest with your life.
Oh Becky, I am so, so sorry to hear about your nephew. It’s so hard to stand by and feel the hurt for those we love and feel like we can’t do anything to take it away (for them or for us). I’ll be praying for you and for your nephew and his family. Each day is so amazingly precious. Thank you for that reminder.
Thanks Mel. He ended up passing away the following day on July 17. Now we all need to learn how to go on without him. We don’t understand God’s plan but know he is at peace and we are the ones left behind grieving. Life can change in an instant but it reminds us that we need to make the most out of the time we have here. So glad he choose to have a piece of cake when he was at my house for our party on the 3rd.
I just started making fancy cakes this year. I make one a month. I have used Cake by Courtney for every one, but I haven’t made her cookies and cream yet, but I will now. Thanks! Summer is ok. We are blessed to live where we have rain and not too crazy hot right now, but we are humid. Wish I had a garden. I try every year, but we live in the country and dear just eat whatever I plant. I really, really, REALLY wanted zucchini this year and planted a bunch and the dear just ate them all. We love the Marvel movies, so we loved the new Black Widow one and all the marvel series on Disney +. I read a book I LOVED and would highly recommend, it is a graphic novel but a true story. When Stars are Scattered by Victoria Jamieson and Omar Mohamed about boys in a refugee camp. So good! Thanks for being a rock star Mel! Made your chicken salad for dinner last night and it was so good! I have been around here for 10 years or so and just love you! If you ever get to KS, come see me!
Oh man, that sounds like our years in Wisconsin! The deer ate everything (even despite my best attempts at building Fort Knox around my garden). I’m sorry! My kids loved the new Black Widow movie because it had kunekune pigs in it (I didn’t watch it, but they told me after and were so excited, haha). Thanks for the recommendation on the book. Excited to check it out, Jen! I always love seeing your comments.
Have you seen The Art of Racing in the Rain? So good (especially for dog lovers) and good for the whole family. It’s one of those movies that may actually be better than the book. The book is great also, it just has a lot of language I wasn’t fond of.
Speaking of games, have you played Hi-Lo Flip? You recommend lots of games, so I can’t remember, but we love it.
I second The Art of Racing in the Rain! I started the audio book completely oblivious to there being movie and then watched the movie before I finished the book. I’m glad I finished the book because there were several humorous anecdotes that in no way could have been translated to movie (I’m talking about the crow scene). lol I’ll just leave it at that and then you’ll read it and be like.. “gross you weirdo you think that’s funny?!”. But since it’s told from the point of view of the dog- it’s absolutely hilarious.
Haha, now I’m SUPER intrigued, Andrea!!
Thanks, Janet! I haven’t played that game, but now I’m super excited to try it. And you’re the second one I’ve seen that recommends that movie, so it sounds like we need to watch it. Thank you!
I would totally recommend watching The Art of Racing in The Rain
Love your Friday thoughts. I really liked what you said about how you have grown from the challenges and trials you have had and how you have had to fine tune who you really are and who you want to become. I think that is wonderful advice and something we all need to do. If we can focus on gratitude for the blessings we do have and who we want to become we can get through lots of hard things. You think a lot like I do and I love your recipes and your ideas. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work!! So glad to share some money for your friends’ trip. Hope and pray they can do it while they have time.
Thank you, Roberta!
Thanks for the recommendation, Arie!
Thank you. I needed this today.
XOXO
I always love these posts! I agree hands down to the Oreo cake from cake by Courtney. We’ve made it several times and just made them earlier to is week as cupcakes (filled with the filling duh). So so good!
Oh wow, can’t wait to try that cake as cupcakes!!
We’re watching a bunch of d movies as a family these days – The old Pink Panther movies, The Great Race, etc.
As my kids are getting older, the summer gets harder for me. When they were little we did every adventure together as a family. As they get older, they have lots of individual adventures so it’s harder to make time for full family adventures. I’m still figuring it out. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with all of us!
I agree with you, Christie! I feel divided in the summers (and actually all the time) as my kids get older and we don’t do as much as a family like we used to because they are with their friends more.
Love your Friday thoughts! One of my favorite under-the-radar movies is Dan in Real Life. Poignant and hilarious.
Thank you, Laurie! I’m excited to watch it.
Fellow introvert here, and I too enjoyed 2020 more than 2021. I was able to spend precious time with the fledglings before they flew the coop. I may have to try those Trader Joe’s ice cream cones, but without the farm animals, haha!
Haha, they’re good with or without farm animals in the background! 🙂
Movies…Doctor Thorne (Charles Dickens meets Jane Austen type movie), Matchbreaker (for a fun light-hearted and silly romance), Captain Courageous (old black and white movie—SO good. Great for boys), and Front of the Class (great insights into your eyes syndrome and what determination and optimism can do).
Can’t wait to make that cake!
Oh my gosh, Cake by Courtney’s oreo cake is so divine! I made it recently into cupcakes for a coworker’s retirement party and even made the mousse filling to fill them. They were an absolute hit. I’ll have to try your chocolate cake recipe the next time I make it.
My mom recently recommended “Wish Dragon” on Netflix. We haven’t watched it yet, but it’s in our queue. We also recently watched and enjoyed “The Dig,” also on Netflix and “Wild Mountain Thyme” on Hulu (well I enjoyed it, my husband kinda thought it was meh).
Mel – I think it’s time for a Billings reunion!! Loved reading your catch! By the way I have the same shirt as you in the plane picture! Movies – I have rave about this one because it was a good find – Blue Miracle on Netflix – good fishing movie and family friendly based on a true story and I just heard good things about “Greater” also on netflix.
Storm Boy was cute. Love you Mel. Thanks for enriching my life.
Wow Wow Wow!!! Wonderful “thoughts” post.
It was heartbreaking but wonderful to hear about your epiphanies and such. I hate the challenge but wow- to know yourself?? That is very much not me. I’m glad you feel more comfort there. —- What a sad and difficult time for your friends. AGAIN!! You are an emotional rock for these people. I come here for the recipes- and then to hear you speak so lovingly and wonderfully about all this stuff in your life…. THANK you for opening up and being a real person behind these yummy recipes!!—— The money thing- We are like you in that we do not tie allowance into chores. Our daughter (just turned 13) has been getting an allowance since I think she was 4. It wasn’t much to begin with, and then somewhere along the way it seemed to turn out, that she gets her age per month. She has several chores to do- and has been doing a chore since she was 2 (putting up silverware). Each year we have added a chore here and there- emptying trash, cat litter, folding towels and napkins, etc…. it is unusual but our daughter really doesn’t ask for things very often. However lately she uses up most of her available fun money for books. We pay for all the normal things. But in the past she has bought a stapler (haha), some legos, and recently some nailpolish. We have always coached her about saving/spending. Hopefully it sinks in. When she starts high school next year we will open a savings account and talk more about budgeting. During the pandemic and us staying home it was pointless for me to always have to go to the bank for her $12 allowance. So I turned to the app called ROOSTER MONEY. It’s been great for me to see how much she has in this virtual bank. When it comes time to spend something, I can just subtract it from the tally of what I owe her. I’ve really enjoyed the app and it can do more than what I use it for. I tried to let her utilize some of the features, but they just haven’t been necessary yet. It also lets you use it for paying for chores, but ours is a flat rate as I said. Some months she ends up doing more/less chores depending on other factors and we don’t add to or dock her pay because of it. She has the ability to earn “extra” money if she wants to do something out of the ordinary. But she hasn’t been motivated by money or things enough to want to do that very much.——– Man a longwinded comment. I leave with a big THANK YOU. You’re awesome. and your family is super lucky for you.
Hello “old” friend -nice catching up with you and your family! Because of your book recommendations, I will be making my first trip to our library in 18 months – thanks for the inspiration! Oh, and I’ll be stopping at the grocery store to pick up oreos on the way home 🙂 Enjoy the rest of the summer – hope the temps cool down (if it’s any consolation, it’s incredibly hot and humid in NJ also so I feel ya)
Take care!
Good morning, Mel! Thanks for the awesome post. I don’t know much about new movies but I tend to re-watch my favorites like Hidden Figures and National Geographic documentaries. Hmmm, I think I need to keep an eye on everyone’s suggestions. Thank you for all of the good you do and put out in the world. Big hugs!
Thank you Mel for your post. Makes me smile, cry and love your honesty. To fill in your blank of movies… “Finding ‘Ohana” is good. It’s on Netflix and the today version of Goonies. Some favorite movie is Sliding Doors or Love Actually or the holiday (rom coms). Movies with my huby he likes to watch are any marvel movie or fun oldies like the mighty duck series since the kids can watch with us.
Thanks for the recommendations, Lana!
Jenna, I love the Hidden Figures movie, too!