Friday Thoughts
It’s been a while, but I’m pretty excited to be popping back in with a Friday Thoughts post (they’re my favorite because of YOUR comments). I have a lot on my mind. Like, a lot, a lot.
And I’m excited to get your feedback and thoughts on all my rambly venting today. 🙂
All the other past Friday Thoughts posts here.
1) Family Vacation: I need your help! This resident homebody needs to know: what is the best family vacation you’ve ever taken? To where? And why? (I’m gathering some highly scientific data to present to Brian next week, so thanks in advance.)
2) Sunday Dinner Assignments: Last fall I realized weeknights were not working when it came to teaching my kids how to cook. Too busy. Too noisy. Too distracting. Too stressful. Too much controlling OCD (ahem, taking full ownership for that one).
So we switched the system up a bit, and I can’t believe how well it is working. I love it! The kids love it! And honestly, they have totally shocked me and Brian with their rock star cooking abilities.
I call it Sunday Dinner Assignments. Super clever and catchy, huh? Gosh, I’m a marketing wizard.
How it’s working so far: I plan out a simple menu for Sunday night and assign one of the kids for each section. This involves a super high tech system of writing the menu on a post it note with one of the kid’s names next to each section.
Usually it’s a main dish, homemade bread or rolls of some sort, a side dish or two, and dessert. And in most cases, I let them choose the specific recipe they want to make (within reason and with approval).
I don’t put myself on the rotation. The kids execute the whole meal AND they are responsible for washing the dishes for their recipe. My role is to not helicopter and just answer questions and step in if they ask for help.
Yes, it’s a bit chaotic and messy; they try and work together to plan out oven usage and stagger the prep/cooking times so there are only a couple of them in the kitchen at a time.
The best part is seeing how excited they are to tell Brian which dish they made when we sit down to dinner. Of course we have had quite a few spills (including a whole bucket of honey) and arguments about who gets to use the favorite whisk first (that one ended in tears + at least one bruise)…and there have even been a few times where something was…um…slightly inedible.
But the learning process has been invaluable. Each one of the boys has made homemade rolls (or this buttery bundt bread is a fave choice) at least twice by themselves, and let me tell you, if they do nothing else in their lives, I’m going to hang on to some mom pride over this accomplishment.
They are all used to the system now and ask me on Saturday night if I know what their assignment will be yet. I’m sure this Sunday Dinner Assignments thing will go through several variations as we stick with it, but it’s working pretty great right now.
In the interest of full disclosure, about every fourth or fifth Sunday, I have a little “moment” and decide I can’t handle anyone else being in the kitchen and declare it “Mom’s Sunday Dinner Assignment All By Herself Please Leave the Kitchen Area Immediately.”
How do you teach the kids in your life to cook? Are you able to let go of the control and give them free reign?
3) Eagle Scouts:Both Walker and Jackson earned their Eagle Scout award a couple Sundays ago (with three other young men from church). Scouting has been a fun journey for them, even if they didn’t love every single minute.
Quite honestly, toward the end, I didn’t know if our relationship would survive the paperwork process, but I’m really, really proud of them for achieving this award. And I’m really, really proud of myself for making it through, too. Haha. No, but seriously.
At the ceremony, my 15-year old chose to give his mentor pin to me, which was so touching and sweet! The scoutmaster handed him the microphone so he could say a few words about why he was doing this, and Jackson cleared his throat and very meaningfully gave this tender tribute: “well, I’m giving this mentor pin to my mom because she basically threatened me that I couldn’t get my driver’s license until my Eagle Scout was done. And also, she drove me around to a lot of places.”
And you know what? I totally gave him a huge hug and kiss on the cheek because I’LL TAKE IT. The tribute and the mentor pin. 🙂 I love these boys and am really, really proud of their hard work, including learning the art of making real, live phone calls, which apparently might be the hardest, hardest, hardest thing to ask a teenager to do.
4) Natural Deoderant:ok, you guys, I’ve tried a lot of natural deoderant out there, and I’m sorry for the inclusion of too much info here, but I’ve done so even at the cost of some serious underarm chafing and rashes (Schmidt’s, I’m looking at you). Lume, Tom’s, Schmidt’s. I still feel like I smell like a pre-pubescent middle school boy.
Help? Am I missing something? Is there a natural deoderant that actually works and doesn’t rip up my skin? Please enlighten me and the rest of humanity.
5) Being a Finisher: I’ve been working on teaching my kids the art of being a finisher. And instead of lecturing, I decided I better just model the desired behavior and actually finish a couple projects I’ve been working on for years.
I started this crochet quilt when Camryn was a toddler. Yes, that’s 5+ years ago. And I just barely finished it over the holiday break. And then I wrapped it up and put it under the Christmas tree as a present to myself. I’m embarrassed to say I actually cried tears when it was done.
It’s been a labor of love. And now I’m afraid to actually ever use it because what if it unravels? (Free pattern from Purl Soho and yarn from Knitpicks, which was enough yarn for my mom to also make one of these blankets, which she finished years before mine – she’s a rock star)
The other blanket I finally finished was this Fancy Forest quilt, pattern by Elizabeth Hartman. A couple years ago when I decided I wanted to learn to quilt (never had before), I chose this as my first quilt. Yes, you just go ahead and laugh at me, because everyone else in my real life did, too!
I admit it was a bit ambitious, but I figured if I was going to learn, I was going to learn. Anyway, you can see how well that worked out. It took me, again, about five years to finish this quilt. And there are so many mistakes I can hardly bear to look at it. (Sidenote: not sure quilting is the right hobby for someone with a brain like mine.) But I finished it! It’s legit the hardest project I’ve ever done.
And I am really, really proud of myself. I even took a long arm quilting class at a local quilt shop and long arm quilted the top of this bad boy all by myself, and I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE SCARED AND MORE PROUD OF ANYTHING I’VE DONE IN MY WHOLE LIFE EVER. Also, I sweated an obscene amount during the long arm process. Also, this may be why we need to really delve into topic #4 up there. Also, I promise to never talk about sweat again.
Do you have any goals to finally finish something this year that you started long ago?
6) Vegan, Vegan:A good friend of mine is transitioning to a plant-based/vegan/no sugar diet to combat a stage IV cancer diagnosis. We basically talk about the food part of this journey nonstop, and my brain is going a mile a minute to figure out how to help her (and also incorporate more plant-based recipes in my own life)!
She and I have already been experimenting with different cashew-based dressings and sauces among other things. We’ve had some wins. And some losses. Haha. Do you have any great vegan/100% unprocessed recipes to share? Favorite online sources? Cookbooks?
7) Grit and Resilience: this TED talk is really fascinating. I really, really want my kids to be gritty! And let’s be honest, I want it for myself, too. To persevere through hard things and not give up. Since I’m 1,000% certain lecturing does.not.help. I’m trying to find more ways to help foster resilience in my kids. Any experts out there on growth mindset? Have I gone too far? Is this too deep for a Friday? What are your thoughts?
8) Games:You know I can only go so long without talking about what games we are loving at the minute. One of you awesome persons recommended the game Patchwork – aff. link on my holiday game gift guide. We love it! It’s a 2-person game and it is so, so fun. You don’t have to be interested in sewing or quilting or buttons or anything to love this game. It’s super strategic with a little bit of luck, and I can’t recommend it highly enough.
The other game we’ve been pulling out for a quick game sesh is Left, Center, Right (we have the basic version and also the wild version – aff. links). Super, super fast. Super, super fun. Everyone around here loves LCR!
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Ok, you guys, thanks for sticking with me through this rambling post!
Love your guts.
Don’t leave until you add your thoughts below. I need your insights, humor, wisdom and recipes in my life. 🙂
UPDATE!!!! You guys. YOU GUYS! I have spent hours (days!) reading through your comments. I’ve read every single one. I wish I had time to respond to you each personally. Instead, I literally just made a MASSIVE spreadsheet (ahem, nerd alert) with all of your vacation, deodorant, vegan and grit recommendations. And you guys, this spreadsheet is gold. I can’t wait to organize it (ahem, second nerd alert) and read through it and learn from it and PLAN A VACATION and make some plant-based meals and try out the 5,000 deodorant recommendations all while telling my kids to stay gritty. Haha. But seriously, I could kiss all of your faces for all of the comments. The insights. The personal stories and experiences. As always, you’ve made me laugh and think and think some more. And you have given so, so many good recommendations. WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU? No really, what would I do? I’d actually have to find friends in real life and that would just be super lame. So glad you guys are my people. I loved reading every single one of these comments. I promise to update a future Friday Thoughts post (or maybe just at the bottom of this one) with my spreadsheet findings! xoxo
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Almost 3 years ago, we took our 5 kids to Nanaimo, British Columbia to follow the Nanaimo Bar trail–and it was so much fun! We found fun parks by the waterfront, a great beach with awesome tide pools and terrain for climbing, a gorgeous campground with an amazing view, and of course–trying all the variations of Nanaimo bars and choosing a favorite. We also took a day to drive down to Victoria and visit the Butchart Gardens. It’s such a beautiful area!
Another favorite family vacation was Copenhagen, Denmark. We were living in eastern Europe at the time, so it was a little easier to get to. But, I would TOTALLY go again from the US. We stayed in a little apartment in the suburbs and took the train into the city every day. Our highlights were: a day at Tivoli (this is the theme park upon which Disneyland is based. It’s like a simplified Disneyland and also felt magical–though much less crowded.), seeing the original Christus and 12 apostles statues (this was my absolute FAVORITE–it was AMAZING), a drive to Kronborg castle, (the castle where Hamlet was set), where we stumbled upon a live reenactment of Hamlet happening throughout the castle. We also went to the Copenhagen temple for a couple of days and stayed in the temple housing there. (The temples ask that you perform at least 1 temple service per day that you’re staying in the housing.)
I’m also working on helping my kids be more resilient. 2 years ago, we moved to another country and there’s nothing like getting SHOVED out of your comfort zone to create some resilience. We moved back to the states a few months ago and I enjoy seeing my kids thrive in this LONG transition because of things we learned while living abroad. We also talk about “bubblegum brain”–which is a brain that can grow to try new things. I’ve recently started requiring my 10 year old, (who tends to discouragement, like I do), to strike a superhero pose and yell, “I can do it!” when he gets bogged down. I have visions of him doing this–at least inside his head–during college and for the rest of his life. He doesn’t love doing it, so we’ll see if that sticks. LOL
As for the plant-based recipes, here are two of my favorites:
https://gooddinnermom.com/bbq-cauliflower-tacos-with-chickpeas-and-quinoa/#comment-54189 (You could sub out the mayo here and just make a vinaigrette-style dressing for the slaw. And forego the corn tortillas and serve it over rice.)
https://www.kitchentreaty.com/slow-cooker-bbq-chickpea-vegan-sloppy-joes/
Definitely wouldn’t object to seeing some more great plant-based recipes on your site! I haven’t tried many that are completely vegan, but really liked these: https://www.twopeasandtheirpod.com/roasted-cauliflower-and-chickpea-tacos/
Also have had luck with Native deodorant. ☺️
Natural deodorant—I hear you on the trial and errors!
The brand I’ve discovered after 20+ years searching is NATIVE. They have a vanilla and coconut scent that is beautiful and fresh. I really, really love it. There has been no chaffing or skin irritation ever with this one.
Your quilt is adorable – Excellent work! I always love your recipes (we talk about you at the dinner table like you are a local friend “This is from Mel” ) so thanks for many amazing recipes!
I’m super glad you tried Patchwork – I love that game and I meant to leave a comment about it after your Christmas post but never did. We’ve got similar taste in games for sure! Having said that – Inca Gold is so so fun!! We also love Kingdomino tons and tons – it’s pretty fast, super different from many games and easy to learn. Hive is another great two person game that we have a great time with – it’s super fun to play before bedtime with a kiddo or my husband. Monopoly Deal is fabulous! (I can’t stand playing the full length version myself but this is really fun). Did I get the Chameleon game recommendation from you? If I did – thank you! If not, it’s a great one for the family or especially for a group of teenagers (we’ve got kids similar ages – 15, 13, 10 and 8 over here). We also got the spin off from Cover your Assets called Cover your Kingdom and it’s pretty funny. Okay – I could talk about games and books all day – I’ll stop.
As for vacation – I think there’s a place for any type of vacation – it’s just so awesome to get away and be together. If I had unlimited money, I’d go on a Disney cruise in a heartbeat. We took some of the kids year and years ago and it was amazing – perfect, magical and so fun for all ages! I also love a road trip to a national park, then again you can’t beat paradise and swimming at the beach… good luck with your presentation – be sure to let us know what you decide!
Thanks a million for all the fabulous recipes, the great family and parenting ideas and the fun game recommendations. I love your blog! Oh and congrats to the new Eagle Scouts – we were doing the same thing here and it’s lots of work. That’s super sweet you got the pin – I’m sure it’s from making them make phone calls 🙂 (we can totally relate! ha ha!)
Best vacations – Big Cedar Lodge in Missouri and Bald Head Island in North Carolina, close third, St. Simons Island in Georgia.
Native is good, but my shirts get ruined from it! Schmidt’s and other natural deodorants all do it. I’ve never had rashes or anything else, but I’m looking into other suggestions too! Lume did not work for my pits, but is absolutely life changing for “other” areas!
Thanks for your ideas, super helpful and inspirational!!!
Disneyland can’t be beat imo! So magical with kids it’s fun just being there. And let’s not start on the food!!
1) Disney, Disney, Disney. Cliche perhaps. There is a reason it is called the Happiest Place on Earth. It brings families together in a way very, very few other places can. Parents get out of their own way and they find enjoyment in what their kids enjoy. And the service is perfect. Its just my absolute favorite. But sometimes, I do get outvoted.
2) Sunday Dinner. Genius. I may attempt. Your daughters-in-law will either worship you or hate you. Which I guess is the risk for all of us anyway so carry on.
5) and 7) I actually believe that being a finisher and grit are cousins. At least for me, a compulsive planner and starter, finishing takes a lot of grit. I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment that kids learn from our examples more than our lectures. 18+ years of parenting and I am just barely admitting that the things I am still fighting my kids to do well/regularly are the SAME THINGS I am still trying to get myself to do well/regularly!
I read Angela Duckworth’s book, Grit, and spent the first half of it thinking I was the most non-gritty person on the planet. About halfway through, though, I realized that I am very, very gritty about some things, they just happen to be VERY different things from the examples she gives. Once I allowed myself to look for grit in a wider arena, I found it. Next comes the ability to harness that power that I know I already have and aim it in other directions. Or not. As is the case with EVERYONE, in order to be gritty about some things, a person has to let. other. things. go. I believe deeply, like at the magma center of my being, that the worst lie ever perpetrated was that we can do it all. No one does it all. Every single one of us makes choices about how and where we will spend our 24 hours per day. Grit simply means that the ways your spend your time are laser-focused, values aligned, and consistently applied.
When it comes to teaching grit, that is tough. As I’ve thought about this over the last couple of years, I have found that pointing out examples of grit in action is incredibly effective. Call it out when you see it, in news articles, in history, in scripture. Name it. Then call it out when you see it in yourself and in your family. It is human nature to do more of what we are already doing. Pointing out a single glimpse of grit in a person you hope will be more gritty will encourage them more than pointing out 100 times when they gave up. Because your can’t give grit to other people. All you can do is create a space and nurture the growth.
8) We got Splendor for Christmas and I have developed a love/hate relationship with it. I love the idea of it and the game play. I hate that Chad. always. wins.
For the vegan blogs… I love minimalist baker and pinch of yum. Pinch of Yum isn’t 100% plant based or vegan but a significant portion of theirs are vegetarian and easily adoptable to plant based. We did the plant based diet for 18 months (granted, I’d still use like a canned jar of pasta sauce or something), and then decided to just cut back on the meat that we ate.
Family vacations.. We lived in Reno, NV for a couple years when we were kids. One spring break, we hopped in the car and drove the west coast. We had no schedule (not sure how my dad handled this with his type A personality) and we stopped where we wanted to . We hit up San Francisco, the redwoods, San Diego, and a bit of Oregon. Our hands down favorite stop though was the Jelly Belly factory in Fairfield, CA. I don’t even like jelly beans but the factory was sooo neat!
I had the same struggle with natural deodorant, but I’ve found two that I actually love. Native is great and it’s available at Target. I also like Just Ingredients, which is made by a mom and has totally clean ingredients and it also works great. (Her face serum is great too!) https://justingredientswithkaralynne.com/collections/deodorant-face-serum
Congrats to your boys and to you on their Eagles and those AMAZING quilts!! That is awesome! As for vacations, I know you went with Mentors once to Africa. Our family hasn’t been there, but likely our favorite family trip was to Guatemala where we served in a dental clinic and volunteered in orphanages, and then tacked some fun sightseeing onto the end of the trip. We waited for our youngest to be old enough to not be scared by the experience, and we did a ton of research. It still didn’t go smoothly — one of our girls ended up in the hospital — and it’s saying A LOT that even that daughter, after a little time and recovery, said that her favorite vacation was Guatemala. My oldest at the time said “I never want to do a family trip again without service.” We did one Disney cruise, which was fun and we enjoyed it, but after we went to Guatemala we decided it didn’t even compare. And it was more expensive. We’ve also enjoyed just road-tripping to different regions in the U.S. and Canada. We did Massachusetts/Maine/Quebec/Vermont a few years ago and loved that.
As for vegan recipes, I transitioned to a whole foods plant based diet 2 1/2 years ago and have loved it. I have adapted many of your recipes, and you’re still my favorite source for all things food. 🙂 I’ll email you a list, but here are some top faves: https://minimalistbaker.com/1-pot-red-lentil-chili/. I add in the corn, and it’s delicious. I actually took it to a chili cookoff and won. Also https://www.veganricha.com/2015/09/sri-lankan-red-lentil-curry.html. Richa has a lot of great Indian recipes; this one just happens to be Sri Lankan. Also, the filling for your https://www.melskitchencafe.com/black-bean-and-sweet-potato-burritos/, minus the cheese, makes awesome tacos!! We top them with a plant-based cheese sauce, and it’s one of our favorite meals.
Natural Deodorant- I feel your pain: I’ve tried SO many ones, but I’ve found thatEarth Science is the only one that has worked for me. It doesn’t chafe, doesn’t build up and does keep me stinky free!
http://earthsciencenaturals.com/category/31/Body.html
Favorite family vacation: Banff. We let our 17 year old pick where we go for our family vacation this year (as he’ll be moving out this summer and may not come with us on future vacations ) and he chose to go BACK to Banff. It’s so beautiful and there’s lots to do.
Vegan: I went through some serious food intolerances and survived on a lot of vegan food for awhile. Thevegan8.com and thecolorfulkitchen.com are both very good. Best of luck to your friend. ❤️
Ok I have quilted for a number of years now and it would take me at least 5 years to finish that quilt! If not more! I’d encourage you to maybe try another (far simpler) quilt just to be sure it’s not for you. I’ve made one quilt with animals and had I started with it as my first quilt I’m not sure I’d have stuck with it either.
As for vacations my favorite is Ireland. It would be pricey for a large family but it is so pretty and so relaxing.
My favorite family vacation was a California road trip- Tahoe, San Francisco, Santa Cruz (surfing lessons), then Yosemite. We stayed in KOA’s and loved having our own space with pools and fun activities- including nightly camp fires. We got a bit of everything- beauty, fun city, surfing, hiking, it was fantastic!
You’re incredible! Love the Sunday dinners and your quilt!
As for deodorant I’m liking Primal Organics right now. I’ve tried: lume, Schmitz, native, the natural crystal, toms….all work for a bit then horribly cease. Primal I’ve used the longest and it’s still working…
I’m sorry for your friend my favorite vegan cookbook is vegetarian cooking for everyone by Deborah Madison (it’s about 90%vegan- some recipes add cheese or something on top and can easily be omitted) my favorites have been roasted red pepper soup with polenta croutons, chayote and corn enchiladas, fresh mushroom risotto, and her stir fry and Dal recipes have been excellent.
1. I have no idea for vacations. We never go anywhere.
2. Letting my kids cook stresses me out! I need them to learn though, so maybe I’ll give up a tiny bit of control.
3. I should have “encouraged” my boys a bit more to get their Eagle award. They didn’t show the interest though, so I didn’t force it. I kind of wish I had.
4. Just Ingredients has an awesome natural deodorant. https://justingredientswithkaralynne.com/collections/deodorant-face-serum
5. I’m a new quilter. Your project looks amazing! I hope to make something like that in the future. I’ve got to work up to your level of awesomeness.
6. I have no recipe suggestions. Sorry. Cancer sucks.
7. I need to listen to that TED talk. My kids get all worked up over the lamest things.
8. We’ve been loving “Bears and the Bees” game. It’s a Grandpa Beck game that even my 6 year old can play with minimal assistance.
9. That is all.
Natural deodorant – we have tried so many (Pit Paste, Native, Tom’s, etc), and the best has been the salt crystal deodorant. It actually works!
https://www.amazon.com/Deodorant-Stones-America-Thai-Crystal/dp/B001E0YN1W/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?keywords=salt+crystal+deodorant&qid=1580485152&sprefix=salt+crystal&sr=8-5
Family vacations — one of our best was Disneyworld. It sounds cliche, but I had researched it and we all had a wonderful time. I have loved some of our other vacations, like Mexico (Playa del Carmen), but planning and navigating were much more stressful both before and during the vacation (great memories now). I think the best place for a family reunion is a beach location — appeals to all ages. I love your Sunday dinner idea – mostly my kids are assigned as sous chefs, meaning they’ve done a lot of grating and chopping and so forth, but they don’t make a whole recipe from start to finish (except desserts — they are great at those and love finding recipes on your site!). Thanks for your thoughts!
https://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
This is a great article on resilience and strong family narratives.
First comment on here ever but I always meant I comment so here I go 🙂 Your quilt is adorable! Excellent work! I always love your recipes (we talk about you at the dinner table like you are a local friend “This is from Mel” ) so thanks for many amazing recipes!
I’m super glad you tried patchwork – I love that game and meant to leave a comment about it after your Christmas post but never did. We’ve got similar taste in games for sure. Having said that – Inca Gold is so so fun!! We love King domino tons and tons as well. Monopoly deal truly is a blast (and I can’t really stand full length monopoly). And we got the spin off of Cover your assets for Christmas – Cover Your Kingdom – and it’s been fun too. I can never win Azul, but it’s still really fun as well. Have you tried Hive? Another two person quick game that’s really great too! I might have gotten the Chameleon game recommendation from you but in case I didn’t, my 15, 13, 10 and 8 year old all love that one also. Super great for teen parties. I could talk games and books forever so I better stop.
Thanks for an awesome blog with delicious recipes, excellent game ideas and all sorts of random fun. Congrats too on the new Eagle Scouts – that is no small feat!!
Oh and as for vacation – just going is the best! But if I had unlimited funds I’d go on a Disney cruise over and over. So perfect and magical for all ages. National parks make for super road trips and I think Hawaii is truly paradise. So many outstanding options! Good luck with the presentation
Check out the deodorant from Just Ingredients. It’s working great for me. Vegan 8 is a great resource for #6, also the Minimalist Baker. Best wishes of health to your friend. Love the quilt. I’ve done a little quilting, many moons ago, and that is very impressive.
I second just ingredients! I just started using her deodorant and I love it so much!!!
Oh natural deodorant. I wish I had any good recommendations, but I don’t. My mom and sister swear by Little Seed Company, and I got a few of their samples to try. I felt kinda meh about it. The thing I hated most was that it’s a paste, not a stick, and I really hated how my hands felt after I applied it even after I had washed it off. (I have texture issues and will avoid certain lotions even if my hands feel even a little bit weird.) The other one I’ve tried is Native. I liked it and it worked great for quite a while, but after my gallbladder surgery, I developed a weird rash in one armpit and I had to stop using it. Also, I really didn’t love the residue it seemed to leave on my g’s, because that stuff stinks like nobody’s business. I really, really need to scrub out the gunk because just washing them is not working. Like at all. I feel like at the end of the day I smell like a prepubescent boy too. *sigh* Good luck with your search. I’ve given up for a little while and have gone back to my normal deodorant. Someday I’ll try again.
Mel, I love you and your adorable family. Please, please find the best plant-based meals and share with us.
I second this! Plant based food that has been tested and approved by you is what we all need in our lives 🙂
Your quilt is amazing! Great job on persevering. Our favourite family vacations have been Myrtle Beach and a Royal Caribbean Cruise. Myrtle Beach is a more budget conscious choice. Every hotel has a kitchen in it – it has the ocean and amazing pools and there is lots of things to do there. We rented mopeds one time which was fun! Our favourite splurge vacation was the cruise we took – so much fun, so much amazing food and things for the kids to do non-stop. If you don’t need to do flights the price isn’t that bad for all it includes. Good luck!
Native deodorant!!
My daughter- who plays basketball and does ballet-and I LOVE Native deodorant. I was so scared to try it! But I’m on my second one and don’t seem to stink! 🙂
You’ve got to try Just Ingredients’ deodorant, life changing!!
Same!!!
First off I think your quilt and blanket look absolutely amazing! Congratulations for finishing strong! I also think that showing our kids that we can finish something and be proud of ourselves is a powerful thing. Here’s something I most proud of … I I’ve dreamed of writing a book for decades. Many close friends and not so close friends from church have encouraged me to write about my life experiences and how God has used them to transform me. I started writing about 6 years ago when my fourth son was an infant. I finished the first draft of my book in December!!! The next steps are overwhelming and I know nothing about them. It still feels like a dream that my book would ever be published but I feel so proud that I am working toward that dream. I threw a surprise party for my friends that have encouraged me along the way. They came to the party not knowing what we were celebrating … I was celebrating them believing in me and I was inviting them to celebrate that I actually did it! This year I’m trying to be more intentional about celebration.
1) Best family vacations—we’ve done a lot of fun vacations over the years and they e all been awesome for different reasons. We loved Hilton Head, South Carolina, Disney World, Oregon Coast, Banff, and a Ross trio through New Mexico. I probably couldn’t pick a favorite. It depends on what your family loves to do. Scenic beauty with lots of awesome trails and mild weather? —Oregon coast and Banff. Quirky, interesting stops with lots of variety? Road trips. Or Disney World really is magical for everyone. Relaxing bike rides and warm waves and playing in the sand?—Hilton Head. They’ve all been awesome but what made them special was having some cousins to play with and just finding fun things to do everyday.
3) Eagle Scouts? I’m so jealous. My son has to get his before he’s allowed to drive and he didn’t get his butt in gear in time and now he doesn’t have the troop support from our ward. He’s doing it in his own and we’re not relaxing the requirements. It’s just going to be that much harder for him to finish now. And I reeeeally want a driver.
4) Natural deodorant— in the interest of full disclosure, I am super sweaty all the time and have yet to find something that I love. I’ve tried Primal pit paste, Tom’s, Native, Schmidt’s, something from shark tank, charcoal, etc. Schmidt’s doesn’t make me less sweaty but it does keep me from being smelly. But it’s so rough! I’m still searching.
I’ve been working on my “first” quilt for 10 years now and I’m super jealous that you finished yours. Being a finisher is not my strong suit.
Vegan— we grew up eating “Fit for Life” and it was practically vegan. There was some weird stuff my mom fed us but man were we healthy. I’ve also been impressed with Just Monday meals. It’s not all vegan but it’s dairy free and gluten free and could easily be adapted, I think.
Finally, Patchwork is my favorite! My boys will always play that one with me.
Mel, I love, love, love your messages today. Especially the one about finishing things. I have been in the process of getting unfinished projects out of drawers, closets, cabinets and steadily one or two at a time , finishing them. It may be a middle sized mending, or returning something for repair, or ordering that missing or broken part… I have been some successful and it is freeing up drawer, cabinet. And closet space, and most importantly freeing my mind! Like running a mini marathon. My best vacations have been to the Abacos, in the Bahamas. Unfortunately Hurricane Dorian demolished that area so badly last Sept. I pray that they are recovering but I know it will be years. The attraction was a laid back lifestyle where you walked or took a small boat (we rented two Boston Whaler boats) every where you went. So casual, all one needed was swimsuits and shorts. Just get up every morning and decide whether to go fishing or snorkeling or just boat riding and exploring! Your family would love it, I went with my husband and four teenage or almost teenage children.
I do not have nifty plant based recipes but it is wonderful you are helping your friend, and there are lots of resources out there.
1) Best vacation ever was to Universal Orlando. We stayed at a hotel on property and took a gondola over to the theme parks every day. It was easy to come and go between the parks and our hotel. We got front of the line passes and so we were able to spend less time waiting and more time doing. We even got up at 5 am one morning to get into the park before it opened and do the Harry Potter ride. It was magical.
2) I use both Toms and Native natural deoderant and haven’t had a chafing problem and I think I smell ok 🙂
Hi Mel, what a great post! I swear you amaze me even without your recipes! Great job on your projects. The project I need to finish this year is creating our Game Room. We are like you and your family. We haven’t met a game we don’t like. I have put it off and put it off but I truly believe this is THE year. I have already made huge strides but have more to go.
The real reason I wanted to comment was to answer your vacation question. Traveling is just one of my many passions. I am wondering if your question meant where is our favorite travel place within the United States or abroad. Since you didn’t specify I am going to give both answers. Our favorite place within the United States is traveling in Maine. It is not called Vacationland for nothing! If it’s your first time, then I would go to Acadia National Park first and then work your way back down the coast with stops along the way and then stay the night Boothbay Harbor is about three hours south and a Great town to stay the night in before moving on further south. There are so many things to do and see in Maine it would take me a week to type this note so just start googling. Be sure and stop in to L.L. Bean which is open 24/7 year round.
A few places we love outside the United States are New Zealand, Italy, Namibia, South Africa, Croatia and Slovenia.
Good luck with everything!
Amy in Chester
I started teaching my kids (now ages 16, 14, 12 & 10) when my oldest was 10. For me it was easiest in the summer. I assigned each a day of the week. We planned our weekly menu on Sunday, each child choosing what make on their day. We made a grocery list for any items we needed to purchase. Then on Monday they all came with me to grocery shop. (This part wasn’t always fun, but I wanted them to learn how.) They also realized how much time and prep went into making some of their favorite meals. Now fast forward 5 years later and I have 4 trained kitchen helpers. They are all busy during the week, but not on the same days. They all have the skills to pitch in and help on any given night. With a driver in the house I can give a grocery list and she knows her way around a store and feels comfortable paying at the register. During the summer they held me accountable for teaching on their assigned night and I found we ate out less and didn’t opt for cold cereal even we had a long day at the pool.
I have used all the deodorants you mentioned above +more. haha. I have already accepted that I am a sweater and was tired of chemically trying to stop my sweating. So after that was accepted, I decided I just needed to stop smelling. yep. I blame it on hormones, but I felt like I always smelled! I have recently been using “just ingredients” deodorant and it is definitely the smoothest I have tried. https://justingredients.us/products/sweet-citrus-magnesium-deodorant/
Native would probably be #2 for me. I like that I can quickly pick it up from Target. It is definitely smoother then Schmidt’s (sand paper anyone?), and they have a wide variety of scents. Good Luck!!
Best all natural (with excellent science behind it) is Shaklee antiperspirant cream. I’ve used Shaklee products since 1994 from vitamins to all natural household cleaning products with amazing results. Yes it’s a MLM company but I am not trying to sell you anything… it’s just a wonderful product line that has stood the test of time for me and my family.
We’re middle income folks here so when our three sons were growing up camping was core to our existence and in Wisconsin there’s many phenomenal options and locations to choose from. Twice though we took the kids on more lengthy vacations. Best trip was destination to the Smokey Mountains; in the way we spent two days in Springfield Illinois exploring all the historic Lincoln stuff; from there we visited Mammoth Cave in Kentucky and then onto Smoky Mountain National park. I think we were gone a total of 15 days. We pulled our pop up camper and had a wonderful time! I think that was truly our very best family trip. Boys are grown men now and they seem to bring this trip up more often than our other big trip which encompassed Niagara Falls…everybody should see Niagara Falls! Anyway I encourage you to make those beautiful family memories!
I have a few vacation suggestions for you. We have 4 kids — 14,11,10, 5. It depends really on cost. Our absolute favorite vacation was a Disney Cruise. We loved it so much we did it twice! The first time we did a few Disney parks and Universal. The second time we flew to San Juan Puerto Rico with friends for our cruise. Loved, loved Puerto Rico! As for Cruises- the best because No cooking, no cleaning, activities planned for all ages, warm climate, and explore new places together. If not Disney, any cruise is worth doing. We live in the northwest and the summers here are perfect! Head to the OR or WA coast, Orcas Island in the San Juans, Victoria, BC and Vancouver BC … So many things to explore. Happy to give you more recommendations for these locations. And last recommendation is Lake Tahoe. We stayed in a rustic cabin at Camp Richardson. Played on the lake, hiking, biking, and there is a cool hike to Angora lake where you rent a row boat to go cliff jumping. Take the Heavenly Gondola too. Our next destination is NY city! Our plan is to try all kinds of pizza and good food while exploring the city life. Can’t wait!
Our best family vacation was to Disney World/Universal in Orlando. The kids loved Epcot and the different countries. My sons just had the best time, and so did mom and dad. We would stay on property so we could go back to the room at some point during the day and get off our feet for at least an hour, as dad always needed a nap.
Hi Mel,
I loved this post. I am sadly not a mom, but I loved hearing about your boys’ scouting journey. I am a Guider with Girl Guides of Canada and work with 5-6 year old girls in Sparks (what would be Daisies in GSA) and I love being able to participate in the growth of their minds, imagination and confidence. I love that it focuses on character and skill building. Congratulations to your boys (and you) for achieving Eagle Scout!
I am sorry to hear about your friend’s cancer. I have a recommendation on a cookbook and I will insist you MUST get this cookbook. It’s called ReFresh by Ruth Tal, and is the cookbook from the amazing Fresh Restaurants in Toronto, where they were doing vegan before vegan became mainstream.
The dishes, the sauces…. everything in here is a winner. Yes to the marinated tofu. Yes to the chickpea curry. Yes to the green goddess bowl. I am not a vegan, but I think I could be if I used this cookbook more often. I leant my copy and haven’t gotten it back which makes me sad!
PS – love both your quilts!!
Favorite trip ever…any of the Hawaiian islands but particularly the Big Island. My kids love the beach and it’s easy entertainment. So much to see and do.
Last summer we toured Niagara Falls, Palmyra, priesthood restoration site, and kirtland. It was also a great road trip type of trip. We flew into Toronto and out of Cleveland. Make sure to book a car early. We waited to long and couldn’t find a car big enough to hold our crew. Driving two cars all those miles was kind of a bummer. Though it may have cut back on fighting in the back seats 🙂
Love the Sunday dinner idea. I am a bit afraid of the fighting about dishes and cleanup.
Thanks for the game ideas. Always so great. Have guy played The Quacks of Quedlinburg. We got that as a gift for Christmas and I’d say it’s a hit…only 4 players though.
Your quilt is AMAZING. Way to finish! I’ve started to crochet a scarf 3 times now and maybe I should work on finishing that sometime this year. Thanks for the inspiration and example of perseverance. Very impressed.
Good natural deodorant: my husband has the same sensitivity to deodorants and uses a “crystal” stick deodorant. He just uses it right out of the shower, or adds a couple drops of water before using it. It doesn’t stop sweating, but eliminates odor.
For vegan recipes,
Vegan Parmesan cheese from the Minimalist Baker is crazy good: 3/4 cup raw cashews, 3 Tbsp nutritional yeast, 1/4 tsp garlic powder and 3/4 tsp sea salt, all buzzed in a food processor just until crumbly. It’s delicious on everything, or honestly, even by the spoonful! One other thought, if your friend is going through treatment, and has dry skin, try “Gentle Touch Baby Cream.” It’s natural and organic, super rich and doesn’t sting or burn. At https://www.gildentree.com/p-456-baby-kids-gentle-touch-moisturizing-cream-for-sensitive-skin.aspx, and also available on Amazon.
Hey Mel! I am not big on posting, but you convinced me!
When it comes to vacations, I have the problem of always thinking of fun vacations to go on while on vacation! I might be a little too adventurous for my husband. That or it might be that he is in his last semester of school and we are suppose to be saving not spending
My sister in law has been traveling all over the place with her family and has a lot of good tips and sweet places to check out. @csginger
Also I am excited to listen to the TEDx talk! I definitely want to be a finisher but my problem is figuring out what to start doing! Now that I have a 6 month old and am home all the time I am trying to think of what to do at home. Most of my previous hobbies were outside. We do take her cross country skiing but…. still, I am in the adjustment phase.
131method.com has a lot of vegan/plant based/non processed recipes. But you can’t get them unless you sign up for a membership. The recipes are good and have strange ingredients. Might be worth the investment. There are hundreds.
Adding to what’s already been posted with suggestions for plant based blogs – the first 2 are from people living with cancer
https://kriscarr.com/recipes/
https://www.acouplecooks.com/recipes/
https://www.loveandlemons.com/recipes/
I really like the Native deodorant, it’s all natural and you can get it at Walmart. I really like the Lavender and Rose scented one. Never had a problem with irritation with this one.
Uggg…I’ve been on the natural deodorant struggle bus too. I usually give up and switch back to Dove. Here is my issue: I do NOT want to shower every day, only the days I exercise. HA! I don’t mind if I stink a bit after running or working out, but I do not want to stink from nervous sweat, or ooops wore one too many layers, etc. I too have heard that it takes awhile and that everyone’s body chemistry is different. Thanks for this post…I needed some new deodorant ideas. I’ve tried many but not obviously not all! 🙂
We too definitely recommend staying in and Airbnb or VRBO. We’ve loved many of our family vacations, and quite honestly, I think the most important part is to just go. It’s not always going to be a rockstar destination that makes or breaks the trip. Really, it’s about spending time together away from everyday demands and exploring new places. That said, we’ve enjoyed WY (check out Yellowstone/Tetons of course, but stay somewhere less touristy…the Beartooth Hwy (212) is amazing), North Shore in MN (think Lake Superior, north of Duluth), the UP (Michigan), Branson (more activities/less nature…great memories at Silver Dollar City), and coastal Oregon . ENJOY wherever you end up going!
I recommend SmartyPits. It works for me and I love the scents. They have a sensitive skin version too. It’s a woman owned company and a percentage of sales goes to breast cancer awareness and survivor support.
Our favorite family vacations are a week at a cabin at a northern Minnesota lake near Park Rapids MN. It’s a small town with an old fashioned soda fountain/restaurant and shops. Fishing, great bike trails, nightly bonfires, no TV, reading and board games. Great family bonding. We also love the Oregon coast – Seaside and Cannon Beach. The kids loved kite flying and a side trip to Fort Clatsop, Lewis and Clark National Historical Park near Astoria.
Best family vacation in the history of ever was loading up in a motorhome for a 2 week trip down the Oregon Coast and to San Diego, California. But it was the motorhome that made the trip. You could go anywhere that is actually warm enough for camping. Driving was great, sleeping worked anywhere (Hello, Walmart parking lot!) and we had SO MUCH FUN!
I’d love to learn more about the natural deodorant- the antiperspirants seem to make me smell worse. I’m half happy with Tom’s, but if there is something better out there I want to know about it!
We are kinda failing in the area of teaching the kids to cook. My 14 year-old cooked twice last week out of necessity and he made grilled cheese both times!
Your quilt is truly impressive, I can see why it made you sweat!!
I also want kids who will be finishers, be resilient, and give everything their best effort. I’ll take tips on that too!
Thanks for all the Friday thoughts!
Pick Up Limes has really yummy vegan recipes. I am not vegan but we love plant based foods and every recipe I have tried has been great.
(Just like your recipes!)
Also, Angela Duckworth on the TED talk has a great book about Grit. I have read the book but I am excited to listen to the talk to. There is also a website called “The Art of Manliness” that discusses grit and perseverance a lot and it has a interveiw with Angela (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/podcast-210-got-grit/). It is a great website that my boys have loved.
The family vacations that I have loved the most have been the ones where we’ve rented a house right on the beach and then just hung out together. During the day we played in the surf or sand, read, napped, walked – whatever people felt like doing. After a simple dinner, the evenings were filled with games, movies, puzzles, miniature golf, beach walks, etc. It is just so relaxing and such a joy to hang out with the family when there isn’t a schedule or someplace we needed to be. We’ve taken several destination vacations that included lots of sight seeing and exploring and those have been amazing, but in terms of actually relaxing and destressing and having lots of down time with individual family members, nothing beats the beach for me. The only negative is the annoying application of sunscreen.
Have you tried Schmidt’s sensitive skin formula? It’s the only one I’ve had remote success with but I’m still on the lookout for a better deodorant! Oh some people have also suggested stink bug, I personally didn’t like Native, it didn’t cover stink for me.
Native deodorant!!!!!!!!
Rockport Massachusetts or Disney World
Great questions today. I have an awesome, inexpensive, strange natural deodorant suggestion. Buy a bottle of milk of magnesia. (Usually flavor/chemical free. The non name brands are usually the ones). You just want the single ingredient kind. Nothing else.
Let it sit for a day so that the water separates to
the top. Pour off the watery liquid into the sink until you start to get to the thick, chalky stuff. Pour the remaining contents into a jar/container. That’s it. That’s your deodorant. I just apply with fingertips. It’s truly amazing. You can Google it for more information.
As a teacher and now homeschooling mom, grit is something that matters to me, too. I don’t have all of the answers, but one thing I’ve always done with my students and kids is idle between giving them the help and leaving them completely alone. I will ask questions to help them see the next step they should take or what their options are.
I ask things like, “What are your options?” “What resources do you have?” (“Use your resources!” Was my favorite line in the classroom.:))
If it’s a school problem I’ll ask content specific problems to guide them along. If it’s something like getting a shirt right side out (I have young kids). I will try to talk her through the process without doing it for her and trying not to lecture. “What do you know you need to do?” “Why do you think it’s not working?”
And the thing I find most successful in growth mindset is changing the discussion around mistakes, struggles, and blocks. We embrace them as part of learning. I will point out when I’m struggling with something myself and I’ll walk myself through the process outloud. (Honestly an example is making your Bundt bread that didn’t turn out and I was upset and I cried. I got the ingredients out and tried again. It didn’t turn out. Until I turned my oven on, my house warmed up, and the dough started to rise. I felt my frustration and my family saw, but I also walked through the process of troubleshooting and trying again outloud.)
Anyway, I’m sure your Sunday dinner assignments are a way this is happening very naturally in your home.
1) Yellowstone!! I went against my will in college with my parents, and it was my favorite trip ever. Like another world. And every American should see a field of buffalo!
2) In summer (because that is when we have more free weeknights), I let each of my kids pick a meal to make for the next week. They help me decide what to add to the grocery list to make it, and that night, I show them how to make it, stepping in for anything like chopping or opening a can that I need to do. 3) Congrats, Mama! 4) Try Lavanilla. I still need to use regular deo in the summers because natural just doesn’t cut it, but this is the best smelling one and mostly effective. 5) GORGEOUS! 6) I’m no help in vegan things. &) thank you for the rec. I love podcasts and am always looking for added grit for my kids! 7) Keep the family game recs coming!!!
I’ve tried a ridiculous amount of natural deodorants too. Most of them irritate my skin and weirdly I’m currenlty using and the Schmidt’s charcoal + magnesium ♀️. Sandpaper for sure! I recommend getting a stainless steel bar “soap”. It seems so silly to wash with metal but it definitely helps with odor.
Love your Sunday assignments! My boys LOVE cooking but I get high anxiety too watching. I love the idea of assigning it and walking away. THANKS!