Monday Thoughts: Will You Help Me?
UPDATE: I wanted to let those of you know who check back here for an update, that our sweet Holli ended her earthly battle with painful terminal cancer on April 2, 2021. I don’t know anyone who lived life as full of faith and testimony and love for God as Holli, so it was bittersweet and beautiful that she passed away on Good Friday, just days before Easter. Words are inadequate to describe the heartbreak of the last few days as her husband and six kids have faced this new reality, but her family has been comforted and buoyed up by the knowledge that Holli is finally free of pain and suffering, and they are clinging to the knowledge that they are not alone, that God is aware of them, that He will help them, and that they will see Holli again.
Thank you for your overwhelming support on this post and through other means for Holli and her family. Her sister and I read her your comments as they came in – she was brought to tears every time as so many of you shared your own personal challenges. She couldn’t believe over 1,000 of you chose to do something hard for her. It touched her in ways impossible to describe and gave her peace that carried her through her final days as she contemplated that her life and example might have possibly inspired others and maybe even helped change lives in some way.
We love you, Holli! Life will truly never be the same without you.
——–
I’m taking a little departure from my usual recipes today. We’re going straight into Monday Thoughts (never been done before). Just go with it.
I have some things weighing on my heart and mind that I want to share with you.
But first, I want to tell you about someone.
Her name is Holli. She’s an incredibly dear friend of mine (think: soul sister type of friend).
In all my years of blogging, I’ve never dedicated a whole post to a real, live human. Chocolate chip cookies? Yes. Random Friday thoughts? Yes. Special human beings? Not so much.
But today, I need your help. Holli needs your help.
It might not be the “help” you are thinking of, but if you have a minute, stick with me for a story and then a request (spoiler alert: it has nothing to do with money).
The back story: I’ve known Holli for six years – ever since we moved from Minnesota to Idaho. She’s spunky. She’s hilarious.
She’s a truth seeker and a fighter for justice. She’s an amazing mom to six wildly wonderful kids. She constantly serves everyone around her. To know Holli is to love her.
Amid all of Holli’s greatness, she’s had an incredibly challenging life. Not all of the details are mine to share, but suffice it to say, her life has not been easy. Intense infertility, adoption, countless (and I mean countless) surgeries for health issues related to colitis, job stresses, and the list goes on.
Most people don’t know many of these things about Holli because she is in that rare camp of: Fiercely Independent Non-Complainer.
Seriously, if I didn’t love her so much, it would be almost annoying, because she just.never.complains. That girl can fight through pain and struggle like no one else. (And yet, she still listens when I complain about my pigs escaping or my cookies burning.) #goodfriend
About a year and a half ago on top of all the other challenges Holli has faced in her life, after finding a seemingly innocent lump, she was unexpectedly and devastatingly diagnosed with stage 4 internal metastatic mucosal melanoma. This diagnosis came out of nowhere, and needless to say it has rocked their family’s world.
The last 15 months have been filled with immunotherapy, radiation, flights to Mayo clinic for consultation, more treatments, pain, and indescribable stress and worry.
(Not to mention six kids and all of their daily, busy, and often difficult emotional needs.)
Through it all, Holli has remained one of the strongest warriors I’ve ever seen. She has powered through horrific treatment side effects that would easily fell the rest of us, and has quite literally taken on the full-time job of fighting cancer.
She has not once given up hope. She has retained a strong and abiding faith in a loving God who knows her and has a plan for her.
Miraculously, 2020 gifted Holli more than six months of respite, thanks to a combination of immunotherapy, holistic treatments (gosh, I could tell some stories involving slippery elm gruel and tinctures here but I won’t), and a complete shift to a sugar-free and vegan diet.
Last month, things started to fall apart for Holli again. Sudden seizures, many ER trips, and lots of pain revealed the cancer had ferociously spread throughout Holli’s body and into her brain.
She no longer has the full function of the left side of her body and she is in excruciating pain nearly constantly.
And still. She continues to show more strength in her pinky finger than I have in my entire body and soul.
Today, I wanted to give back to Holli in some way. Sure, that can easily be done through their GoFundMe page.
But I wanted to also do something else.
Holli has spent her entire lifetime being strong for other people and using her inner and God-given strength to conquer her greatest challenges, but her body is failing her right now, and she is no longer able to do some of the things that you and I probably take for granted.
Fold laundry.
Braid her daughter’s hair.
Take a walk around the block.
Load the dishwasher.
Send a text message.
I don’t believe it’s healthy or constructive to compare challenges. Hardship and stress and grief is individual. It’s sacred. Hard is hard no matter what you are going through or dealing with.
But if I’ve learned anything from Holli’s situation, it is to look for the good (even on very bad days), appreciate the mundane, and be grateful for each and every day.
And this is where I need your help.
Will you do something for me? For Holli? For you?
Will you do something hard today? Or this week? Something that perhaps you’ve been procrastinating?
It may not be something that would be hard to anyone else, but remember: that doesn’t matter. Your life is your own.
- Maybe it’s getting off the couch and finally running that pesky mile even if you haven’t run in years.
- Or picking up the phone to call a family member who you haven’t talked to in a while.
- Maybe it’s just being grateful that you have the ability and motor skills to fold laundry today.
- Or giving your spouse or child a hug even if you (or they) feel prickly and unloveable.
- Maybe it’s finally ditching the three-sizes-too-small jeans hiding in your closet and buying a pair of jeans that fit your amazing and able body.
- Or saying a prayer for the first time in a long time (or ever).
If you feel so inclined to share, will you leave a comment on this post? Even if you aren’t sure you can do it yet, write your plan in the comments and we’ll be strong together.
I am going to plop myself on Holli’s bed and read all of your comments out loud to her. And let her know that there are people across the world inspired by her story and strength.
Holli does not like attention or being a burden or inconvenience to anyone (if you know her in real life, you know how true that is!), but she does feel as though her life has purpose insomuch as it has inspired others that they, too, can do hard things and be stronger for it.
My BeStrongForHolli goal: finally get through a 30-minute virtual cycling class without falling off and quitting and acknowledge that my body is strong and able (and also give each of my kids at least three 8-second hugs today – our home has been filled with contention lately and I need to be the impetus to changing that). Love you, Holli.
Thank you for letting me take a departure from food today.
I’ll leave you with the words of one of Holli’s favorite songs:
And I, I don’t want to leave a legacy
I don’t care if they remember me
Only Jesus
And I, I’ve only got one life to live
I’ll let every second point to Him
Only Jesus
I have the best readers in the world. Thank you for being here and for all you do to make this world a better place.
Today I’m going to get outside and walk. It’s snowing and frigid in Buffalo but I’m going to get off my butt and stop putting it off. I need to take care of me and have sometime with the Lord. I feel like I communicate best with him while outside walking. I’ve been in a bad place the last few months and it’s time to get over it. My love and prayers are with you Holli and with you Mel!
Dear Holli and Mel,
Thank you for this story of strength and determination and faith. I woke up this morning feeling even more stressed than I have been in months because I realize this virus will be around forever and I won’t get the vaccine for many more months. I am now going to STOP feeling sorry for myself and get off the couch and be productive, engaging, and try my best to be a good and loving mother/grandmother to my family. God bless you both. You both deserve respite and many hugs.
In honor of Holli I will stay strong today and not give in to the eating disorder that I battle on a daily basis. Just writing this and acknowledging it is big deal for me, but your post was so heartfelt it seems like the least I can do. On a lighter note…no pun intended (although that’d sure be a dark one if I meant it, lol)…I also just cleared 1,792 messages from my inbox which I’d be putting off for weeks! Keeping Holli and her family in my prayers!
Oh my goodness, what a wonderful post ~ a lovely tribute to a brave and courageous woman, a reminder of all that we take for granted, and a reason to pause and re-evaluate pretty much everything so that we truly do live this amazing life we have been given. Holli, sending you lots of positive thoughts, smiles, and thank you’s for reminding me to have more grace in my life through your example. May your heart be always filled with all that makes you smile!
All my life I’ve tried to do everything that I thought I was supposed to do. Sure, I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but for the most part I’ve tried to be a good person. Yesterday, I came to the realization that I never really asked God what He needs from me. I’ve just assumed. I know He has a plan for my life, But for some reason I thought that plan would just unravel itself. After reading your post today, I think I can do better. I plan to pray, everyday, and ask God what I can do for Him. How can I be His hands? Maybe His plan for me, isn’t about me at all. Thank you Holli for being an inspiration, and for suffering with heart so everyone else can be a little better and try a little harder. Thank you Mel for using your platform for good, and for being a great friend and example.
Holli, God’s got you. And, I will pray for you. His Angels are surrounding you and your family, shields up and swords drawn. I pray for you and your family to have peace beyond any understanding, and to feel His arms around you.
Wow! You are a wonderful friend to her and she is an inspiration! Today I will first pray for Holli and you! And on a very practical level, I will do things in my home as simple as chores and laundry with joy and thanksgiving because I can. Such simple tasks taken for granted. I’m sorry Holli for all you a going through on this earth. Thank you for inspiring strangers far and wide. I can only imagine the impact you are having to those right by your side. Such as Mel. I hope and pray today is a good day for you both!
Holli, I admire your strength, courage, bravery, faith, and how you see the good and are grateful when it is easier to not be!
Today I went to my 6:15 gym appointment when I wanted to stay in bed and I am so glad I did! Today I’m going to continue to do things I don’t want to do with joy and gratefulness. Prayers for you and your family.
I am going to get off my butt and call my 97-year-old father on Facetime. I’ve been putting this off since Thanksgiving because I’m not that sure how much he understands or recognizes me when I call. But that’s no excuse! I will still call him while I still can!
My glass will never be half empty again. I promise. And I pray you and your family will have many good days ahead.
Lois
Give an 8 second hug to my husband and boys (they’re teenagers so this may cause actual physical pain … but it’s happening ❣️)
Then gonna get on that dang treadmill !
Love and prayers to Holli and her beautiful family ❣️
To be strong for Holli today I’m going to tell my kids thank you at bedtime for something they’ve done during the day. I used to do this every night and have gotten out of the habit. Thank you for your example!
I am committing to connecting more regularly with my youngest adult daughter. She has been through much in her short life and is struggling emotionally. Holli, I’m praying for you and for a miracle in your life. Thanks Mel, for telling us Holli’s story.
Wow, my heart is full and aches at the same time after hearing Holli’s story. What a powerful woman! My prayers are with her, her family, and her doctors. Today, I will spend more time being present with my husband and children. There’s time as wives and mothers where the chore list is never ending, which can prevent me from putting the ones I love on hold to tackle some of my chores. You’ve reminded me that the chores can wait. Children don’t keep, time is fragile, and in the end we are called to love. Thank you for reminding me of the importance of living.
Dear Holli,
In times like this, I have a hard time coming up with the right words . Just want you to know that I am praying for you and your beautiful family. I pray that God will help you thru this difficult journey and that you will not have pain. I wish you many blessings.
God Bless you,
Kathy
Gosh! How much I take for granted in my daily life! Holli you are an inspiration, and I will add my prayers for you and your beautiful family! I ran 3 miles today! I turn 50 this year and really want to take better care of my body, which I have neglected last year! I often let negative thoughts about myself take over the narrative in my head! I will try to turn my thoughts into gratitude for thr grace I have been given to live this life! Love to you!
Praying! What a testimony. Thank you for sharing her story.
My BeStrongForHolli goal: personally stop by a new friends house and drop off a Valentine. Face to face contact has been pretty nonexistent for me and I’m admitting that even with the pandemic I can do a quick stop at a friends house safely.
Today I will memorize the attachments of the erector spinae muscles and their actions for Holli. Also Holli, (after having two kids that have survived pediatric strokes,) I learned that sometimes letting people help (do the laundry, sit quietly with you, make you eat 4 bites of food) is the greatest service to willing hearts. It is a way to bless them as they bless you. Let them be blessed by letting them help. So much love to you and your family.
Very sweet and inspirational. Here is a fun song to listen to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SU8gxrhs1g
My hard thing is going to be to clean out my fridge and meal plan. I’ve been putting it off far too long.
As a mom, my heart just aches for Holli and her family. I am praying for her… definitely going to hold my kids more, read more stories, count the little blessings that I have. The things I take for granted… here’s to strength and courage for you both! ♥️♥️
Good morning from SLC. Love your recipes Mel. And love your departure today in honor of your friend. This is inspiring me to care more for my body and I will do so in honor of Holli. More water and daily exercise this week. Thank you for sharing your more than sweet friendship. Prayers for Holli and her family.
This is such an inspirational post. Thank you for reminding me to take captive of every thought and bring it to the foot of Jesus. Holli truly has a special call on her life. Rich will be her reward in heaven. God’s ways are not our ways but he is good. He uses all things for good who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. You have been called to such a time as this! To point others to Jesus! Obviously Holli has the Holy Spirit in her. When I am weak he is strong. You are a mighty warrior Holli! God bless you and your family. Only Jesus! Keep your eyes fixed on his beautiful face!
Thank you so much Mel for sharing Holly’s story and relaying this message to her:
Holly, you are a bright and shining light in this world! You have all you need for healing deep inside yourself and from above. Although we have not met, I know the trials this type of illness can bring and my heart goes out to you. Please know my thoughts and prayers will be with you and I am sending LOVE your way.
An interesting book to consider reading or listening to is ‘You are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter’ by Dr. Joe Dispenza. ((Hugs))
Love and Light,
Anna
I will be praying for you Hollie, it shouldn’t be hard to remember, my daughters name is Holly. My heart is touched & you will be on mind. Jesus cares girl, keep walking with Him!! I’ll be holding my loved ones extra close while having you on my mind. You are loved! Please keep us updated Mel. You’re an awesome friend!
I am going to visit a sweet home bound lady that I should of visited ages ago but have been putting off. Thank you for inspiring me to do it ♥️
Thank you, Mel, for sharing this great need today. I prayed for strength this morning to recognize the nudging of the Holy Spirit and to obey…right away. This is the opportunity He has given me. Holli, I will pray right now for you, your husband, and your precious children. You need not worry or fear for them, Holli. Our great and generous God that you love, too, will be with them every moment with grace so enormous and sufficient that each need will be met perfectly. May He give you faith to trust and believe that so you may keep your eyes fixed on Him, and I ask that the loving arms of Jesus envelope you right now to tell you how much you are loved and interceded for by Him and so many others. God bless you!
Holli, your strength is amazing and what a friend you have. I, too, had cancer so I know how you just want to get back to the regular things you used to do. Let that go and focus on you and the amazing internal strength you have and your ability to communicate that to your family. You have so much to offer so let those around you help with the physical tasks and you enjoy every minute talking and sharing with your children. I will do one of the challenges Mel suggested focusing on sending positivity to you. Believe in greater things and continue to fight. You are an amazing woman. New Jersey is thinking of you and praying!
Tears are in my eyes. What a wonderful and humbling departure from your norm. Thank you for sharing her story. Holli if you are listening please know that I am praying for you and your beautiful family. May God give you continued strength and shine his love down upon you.
With love in my heart,
Marilyn Collins
What a beautiful post about your sweet friend, Mel. My goal for today… I will make my family Buttermilk Banana Bread and finally memorize the new YW theme for my calling. And of course, prayers for Holli. ❤️
Holli, you are my hero and my reminder of being present in life. My husband’s health has required me to be his caretaker and there have been days that have challenged my very being. I have found my way back to faith and Mel, your post could not have come at a better time to reinforce that. I send prayers and the very best wishes to you, Holli. You are definitely loved by everyone who matters.
I was struggling this morning with a nerve entrapment problem that comes and goes – – it has been here a while this time. This post was just what I needed to remind me to bounce back when I can – for as long as I can. My prayers are for Holli to continue to KNOW she is helping others because of her courage and faith. She helped me this morning, and bless you Mel for sharing your friend with others.
Kathy B.
Thanks for this reminder to find gratitude, to find joy in the smallest things, to keep the LIFE in our living. God bless.
Hi Holli. My name is Simonetta ( Simmie) and I’m going to be 60 tomorrow. I think I had already decided to get up off my behind and do something but having read Mels post I’m definitely going to do it now we’re in lockdown in the UK so not working for the first time ever has made me lazy. I’m going to get my spare rooms sorted as they’re full of junk and get myself out for loooong walks every day. I know this isn’t about sympathy and I know God is watching over you and helping you. I’m a very emphatic person and feel your pain right now. You be strong now and God bless you and your family and know that I will be thinking and praying for you every day. God bless
Simmie ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I will hug my loved ones every day and start each day with a gratitude prayer. You will be in my prayers.
First of all, what a wonderful friend you are to share Holli’s story. Please give her a hug from me and tell her she’s in my prayers (and her family). Interestingly enough I actually needed this today. I’ve been sick for over a week and it’s been getting me down. I turned 65 about 6 months ago and I’m feeling like my body is giving up on me. With covid going on, when I get sick, I’m always saying, “I don’t have Covid so I’m good!” …as in counting blessings. So what will I do in honor of Holli? Once I’m able to I’m going to go for a walk in our neighborhood. I am going to take the time mentally and spiritually and seriously count the blessings in my life and strive to let go of any negativity I’m feeling. Thank you, Mel, for sharing this.
Thank you for this reminder that life, family, love, friendship, and faith should never be taken for granted and should always be cherished. I needed this reminder today. My eyes are filled with tears and my heart full as I write this and I will make the most of today and love the people in it. Thank you!
Dear Holli, thank you for your courage and your story. It’s much easier to say God is good through the good times, but you are truly living that out and saying God is good even in your pain and heartache. I know loss and fear and I know that only the Lord’s grace and love can calm your weary and hurting soul. Thank you for being such an beautiful testimony and encouragement. Praying for you, your husband and your 6 kids.
Holli you are certainly an inspiration and a very real reminder to all of us to not take anything for granted.. Thank you Mel for sharing her story and Holli for allowing her to do so. We all need to hug those we love each and every day and do whatever we can to help make a positive impact on the lives of others! Our family will certainly be keeping Holli and her family in our prayers. The power of prayer is amazing and God is good! We live in Minnesota and know how amazing the staff at Mayo truly are. You are in good hands and we will pray for your entire team of doctors as well. May God continue to give you the strength and comfort you and your family need!
During covid, it’s become too easy to just be alone and take relationships for granted. Having been inspired by the depth of your friendship, I commit to telling each of my best friends how much they mean to me this week. Thanks to both of you for reminding me of what’s important in life.
My be strong for Holli goal: To be thankful for the energy I have to take care of my home and teach my kids (instead of focusing on the energy I don’t have). I’ve been dealing with some health issues the past few months and cannot keep up with life the way I did before. Psalms 73:26 My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is my strength and portion forever. Praying for you Holli and Mel!
Thank you Mel for this opportunity to honor your dear friend, Holli. I’ve been putting off cleaning out a crafting closet of remnants of 40 years of crafts that I’ve done over all this time. May not sound like much but you should see that “collection”! 🙂 I will also think of you when I go for my walk today. Sending virtual hugs to both of you from So California.
Mel and Holli you have a friendship that will last through the Eternities. You know as well as I do, that God had his hand in that. Today I’m going to commit to letting my light shine brighter. The world needs light right now and I’m going to SHINE like glitter! I LOVE glitter just about as much as I love sprinkles, it’s quite embarrassing!!!
Holli, life is so hard right now for you and your family. I cant say that I know what you are going through but I can say that I’ve been in a position before where I felt complete lack of control and frustration being at the mercy of God and His plan. However one thing that is true but not always clear or evident at first is that God is in the details and His plan is somehow for our good despite it sometimes being extremely painful. A friend shared this with me and I want to share it with you. “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing. And so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably… [you see] He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of… You thought that you were [being] made into a decent little cottage. But He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
-C.S. Lewis.
Sending All My Love, and Prayers
Nice to meet you, Holli! I think God led me to this post today. I have been so busy I just delete blogposts without reading them. I did that again today except for this one. I am so glad I read it because I got to be inspired by you! Your strength and faith are a model to the rest of us. You are one incredible woman!!!
I lift you and yours up in prayer today. I will strive today, and then one day at a time, to live the way you do – joyfully, courageously, gracefully and faithfully. I fall way short of that now. But you will be my inspiration to do better.
Sending love and prayers your way. Thank you, Mel for sharing your dear friend, Holli, with the rest of us.
Mel I will pray for Holli……you and Holli have inspired me today to want to be a better stronger person and very grateful for that push I’ve needed. My new motto is “what would Holli do…?”….thank you Mel and Holli ❤️
Sara is a warrior mom! A different story, but a strong woman.
https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Losing-You-Finding-Meaning/dp/1736241303/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2PPWQ3I8V95ZU&dchild=1&keywords=sara+green&qid=1612197783&sprefix=sara+green%2Caps%2C146&sr=8-1
Dear Holli,
My husband is fighting stage four cancer, and we understand at least some of your struggles and pain. You are so young and it breaks my heart that you have to go through this, dear.
I heard not too long ago on the news, about a young child that beat stage four brain cancer. The tumor just disappeared, and her family credits all to prayer. That is my prayer for you, and for continued strength each day.
Love and prayers are flying to and for you!!!!
Praying for this extraordinary woman, her family, friends and medical team and sending love and hugs to all. In honor of this courageous woman, today I will except and act on a challenge that has been on my heart for quite some time.
I am going to be more intentional about hugging my kids and telling them I love them at least 3 times a day. My prayers go out to Holli and her family and you!
Today, for Holli, I will forgive myself for not being the perfect person. I will recognize all my strength and blessings and be grateful for them. I will cast aside the incorrect idea of what I should be or look like according to society’s standards and embrace who I am and have become from the gifts, hardships and people in my life. I know everything that happens has a purpose and I admire the fight Holli gives! Thank you for this simple and powerful post! You are lucky to have each other! Many prayers for you and your family! We are rooting for you here in Utah!! Love you Mel!!