Let’s Talk: Ministering Through Food
I’m taking a quick departure from recipes today to talk about something that’s been on my mind (and in my heart) for a while.
Ministering through food.
{If you don’t have time to read the whole preface, will you take a second and scroll down to the question?}
Food is an integral part of my life (and I know many of yours, too). I mean, I talk about it with all of you several times a week here on the blog and on social media: sharing new recipes, reminding you of old recipes, and probably over talking how deeply I feel about dark chocolate and carbs.
But food has an importance in my life much deeper than just sharing a killer recipe or eating a delicious dinner or hiding in the pantry with my beloved chocolate chips.
And a lot of that is because I have been greatly impacted by people in my life who have ministered to me and my family through food over the years.
From my childhood, I saw my mom constantly serving and ministering to other families by bringing them dinner or bread (I can’t understate the impact her example has had on me). Also, due to my dad’s job in the oil industry, we moved about once a year growing up. Every single move and new house and unfamiliar town found us unpacking boxes and shedding a few tears because moving is hard; unfailingly, the doorbell would ring with another neighbor bringing over a home baked treat or simple dinner to say hello and start a new friendship.
My own little family (5 kids + husband) has moved seven times over the last 17 years. And while I submit moving is the absolute worst, each time, I’ve been overwhelmed at the kindness of neighbors and new church friends who have appeared, food in hand, to help.
Fast forward to the early years of marriage when I was having babies (what felt like constantly, and yes, I realize this was a personal problem :)), and I had an endless supply of warm dinners brought in to my home by smiling, gracious women who I could tell genuinely wanted to serve me and my family.
It’s been a decade, at least, but I still remember my dear friend’s amazing homemade bread that changed my life forever (she brought it to me weekly for at least two months) and another friends’ epic homemade pizza she brought over one Friday night (the same day that she came over unannounced with her five kids and made me sit on the couch while they cleaned my house).
Then a season of health struggles (cancer diagnosis, surgery, radiation, four very small children at home), and a friend from church showed up unexpectedly with a plate of the most divine cookies I’ve ever tasted and spent an hour reading my anxiety-driven toddler books (she was his nursery leader at church and the only person he would go to outside of me and Brian). Another group of ladies from church left a huge basket on my front porch with more chocolate than a girl could ever need in order to help me get through radiation. I could cry just thinking about it.
Later when I had traumatic, unexpected, surgery on my face for basal cell skin cancer, friends dropped off dinner (even when I acted like I didn’t need it and maybe a couple times pretended I wasn’t at home so I didn’t have to answer the door and show my stitched and scarred face – yep, they still left it for my stubborn, old soul) and others sent dark chocolate through the mail when only dark chocolate will do.
And now, to a phase of life where sometimes it’s hard to breathe because life is busy and hard and awesome and full. Brian’s had a couple major surgeries the last two years, and he also carries a huge responsibility at our church these days. Combined with his demanding job, he isn’t home a lot; his time is very divided and weighted. It’s ok. We manage (and I know some families have it much harder than we do). But yet, neighbors and friends and church members still minister to us without being asked.
Now and then women from church will just show up at my door with dinner for no apparent reason other than “I was thinking about you and your family.” The stubborn part of me initially wants to protest and say “gah, don’t think about us! serve people who really need it!” But in truth, we have really needed it, and their confident, sweet assurances that they knew our family could use dinner have seriously endeared them to me forever, forging a connection that wouldn’t have come otherwise.
I could go on and on. For any and all of you who have ever ministered to me and my family, food or not, thank you from the very depths of my heart.
There is strength in ministering to others…but there is also strength in allowing others to minister to us, don’t you think? It colors our lives with a profound, wholesome beauty that cannot be painted any other way. It’s hard sometimes to be on the receiving end. But the divine impact of ministering (and ministering through food) would reach a sudden, and tragic, end if it was always only one-sided.
While there are certainly many, many ways to minister and serve that do not involve food, I feel like food can pave the way to minister to others like nothing else can. Like my cousin-in-law, Tami, has told me: anyone will talk to you if you show up with a loaf of homemade bread. 🙂
Whether it’s an anonymous drop off or a scheduled take-in dinner, I absolutely believe ministering through food can change lives. It’s changed mine. Food is the gateway that can lead to deeper, truer friendships and possibly alter the course of someone’s life as they see, taste, and believe that there is another person out there thinking of them and choosing to minister to them.
A dear, wise man said this: Ministering means following your feelings to help someone else feel the love of the Savior in his or her life.
I’m so far from perfect at any and all of this. I struggle with selfishness and wanting to protect my time, and sometimes I’m anxious in new, out-of-my-comfort-zone situations. But I know because my life is so blessed, much is expected of me, so I am trying. I’ve been making more of an effort to genuinely ask in my morning prayers if there is someone who needs me that day and then *hopefully* showing through my actions that I will listen and follow. I don’t necessarily say I’m willing to whip up a batch of brownies to go along with the prompting, but I think He knows. 🙂
Sometimes the answer is very simple and clear that my ministering efforts need to go straight to one or all of my kids or my husband. Keeping ministering in-house is maybe some of the most important ministering we can do. Other times I feel a strong impression to reach out to a specific friend or neighbor. And of course some days I don’t necessarily feel a pull one way or the other and so I do my best to go throughout the day open minded and willing. And I always have my freezer stocked with cookies just in case. Basically, I love to show my love to other people through food. I just do.
I’d love to hear from you.
Be inspired by you.
Whether you’ve been on the receiving or giving end of ministering through food, I’d love if you felt comfortable sharing below.
Your comments are what make posts like this absolutely pop with inspiration and happiness! Love you guys.
If you are interested in another quick story, here’s the Parable of the Cheeseball I shared last Christmas that goes along with what we’re talking about today.
645 Comments on “Let’s Talk: Ministering Through Food”
I think the times I have felt the presence of the Savior the most is when a dear neighbor has told me they were thinking of me and my family and wanted us to have a meal or a treat they had prepared. Thank you for your wonderful post about ministering.
We just got into a new home and I am ready to start cooking again for whoever I can.
Such a wonderful post!
What a beautiful post! I have been sitting here reading all the comments and crying. There are so many good people in the world. I’m going to try harder to follow in your footsteps! Food is a great way to show ❤️. I will attempt the bread recipe soon so I can give bread too!
I just love you and can completely relate. Food is my life language. I have found myself on the receiving end far too many times the past 3 years. I get embarrassed and feel guilty for accepting so many meals but my heart is so full from the gracious souls who have brought meals or treats. I was in bed rest with two small kids. So many meals. When my baby was born we experienced snowmageddon in Texas and we lost power and water. That didn’t stop the women surrounding me from bringing warms meals for a month! Fast forward to a failed round of invitro, more melas. I ended up having an unexpected and unwanted hysterectomy and again, meals. I feel so loved and so blessed by meals that have been brought to our family. Many of the meals are in fact your recipes.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and inspiring me, personally, with your words and recipes!
Long-time reader/user of your recipes, first-time commenter. I have a finicky gut. But I love food. Over the past seven years, I’ve been collecting recipes that taste amazing and that my tummy tolerates reasonably well. Mostly. Like you, I have a recipe binder (two, actually, one for sweet and one for savory) and fully 20% of the recipes I’ve collected and have made more than once and plan to continue to make are from your blog. I LOVE that your recipes are full of fresh ingredients. Things taste so much better that way and I can easily sub out for things I can’t eat. So. To your question about ministering with food. There was a sweet lady in my ward who was diagnosed with Celiac in her seventies, during my time assigned to her as a Visiting Teacher. She wasn’t super fastidious about following a gluten-free diet. About the same time I went gluten-free, hoping it would help my gut, so I would take her food every once in a while. A few years later, after I had been reassigned and had also expanded my fledgling gluten-free recipe collection, I felt strongly that I needed to start taking her meals again more regularly. I would dish her out a portion of our meals a few times a week and take them to her. It was easy to do because I was already making food for our family. I would sometimes also buy her a loaf of mega-expensive gluten-free bread because she had been a widow for 20+ years, was on a very tight budget and “sometimes just wanted a peanut butter sandwich.” I did this for a year-and-a-half, until she passed away of cancer as a complication of her Celiac. It was a sweet experience as I got to love and serve this special lady. Fast forward to 2020 and COVID. I felt impressed to take meals to a widow and a widower (separate households) and have been doing so for the last four months. It has been a blessing to me and to our family as I watch our needs being taken care of in a loaves-and-fishes kind of way as we share our meals, even though we’ve lost the largest portion of our income due to COVID-related employer cutbacks.
Mel, thank you for sharing your recipes and a little bit of your heart and soul. I feel like if we were neighbors we would be best friends. You minister to me and my with food as you continue to curate such an impressive recipe collection, making it easy for me to have such a variety of delicious things to eat.
xo -E
I have a friend from church who’s 6yr. old was recently diagnosed with leukemia. I am going to start bringing the family dinners, but I remember a post you wrote once about bringing meals to new parents and there were some really good tips on other things to add, but I cannot remember, or find it. Can you tell me where to find that? Thank you for all you do
This old post? https://www.melskitchencafe.com/new-momma-take-in-tray/
Mel I had no idea you had cancer. When my younger daughter was 4, she was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. People I counted on disappeared. And people I didn’t feel particularly close to came out of the woodwork and served in ways I wasn’t expecting. Their lovely acts of service taught me that sometimes you have to just not ask but do. Most of the time I would have said we were fine (which is my speak for well we are all breathing ♀️). When we moved and my baby was better I got someone to visit teach who was always fine too. So I would just think about what I would want if that happened to me and that’s what I did. We have moved again and this pandemic means we haven’t made friends in our ward yet. I’m looking forward to going back to church.
This was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you.
I love your website, have followed it for years…!!
This post brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart — I am always baking and cooking and giving most of it away ………….. I didn’t ever put it into a perspective like this, but I do love to make people happy, and one of the best ways is through food and goodies.
Thank you for what you do. It touches a lot of people.
I have a niece who just gave birth to a baby boy, and I am going to choose from your recipes to bring casseroles, lunches, and goodies for the next few weeks to help her crazy schedule.
Thank you so much!
Thank you, Charlene!
I’ve definitely been ministered to with food as well as done a lot of receiving it as well. It has been a wonderful blessing. However, it has also been a source of anxiety. My son has several severe food allergies. Only a couple of family members and maybe one friend understood he needs well enough to bring safe meals. So often if I needed a meal, it has lead to awkward conversations and has caused people anxiety trying to figure out what they can bring, or they feel bad afterwards if he couldn’t eat what they brought. And I usually end up making something for him anyway. I don’t enjoy taking meals to others because I try to cook things my son can eat and so I don’t have “mainstream” tried and true recipes that I feel confident in that most people are used to eating. (I know this is my personal problem.) I’ve started to hate that EVERY church activity, EVERY party or celebration seems to include food. Anyway, I’ve started to look for other ways to show love by bringing flowers, sharing quotes I love, sending texts, etc. I know my experience is not the majority’s and I know there is so much that food can say that words can’t. However, I just feel like it’s important to also recognize there is also a small minority that have anxiety about food. I hate being the cause of other people’s anxiety. And I hate it when our son’s allergies make them feel bad about their heartfelt offering.
This is a great point, Mel, and I appreciate you adding your thoughts to this because it’s really important for those of us who don’t deal with these issues daily. Thank you for your well spoken thoughts and comment – gives me a lot to think about!
I was thinking about this, with Christmas coming up and all. I love food and enjoy cooking and baking. I can definitely say that I have ministered and been ministered to with offerings of yummy treats and meals. But sometimes I have to be careful that the food doesn’t eclipse the person being served.
It is easy for me to get caught up in perfectionism and possibly dismiss an opportunity to serve because I can’t give my “best” that day. I’m trying to overcome that. If I don’t have the time to make homemade cookies, I can stop by the bakery. If the meal I’ve made twenty times before doesn’t look as pretty as usual, I can still take it.
One time I got an email in the evening to check on a woman I had never met, but we had a mutual friend. I brought her a candy bar that night and she was crying when she answered the door. We had a good talk with lots of tears and laughs. It felt like I was there when she needed it. I’m glad I didn’t postpone my visit so I could offer something fancier than a Snickers.
A thousand amens to this, Brianna! I loved your thoughts – it is such a good reminder. It’s so much more than the food, that’s just the vehicle that gets us there. Thank you for sharing!
Mel, I used to come to your blog almost everyday. And then I stopped, I guess I’ve been super busy with university and stuff. At the ripe old age of 22 I come back to find this posted. I have been moved to literal tears. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Thank you so much, Catalina!
Hi Mel! Thank you for this beautifully written piece on ministry. I also see the beauty in ministering through food and there is nothing more gratifying to receive food during a time of need. I’ve cooked for the Meals That Heal ministry at our church off and on for the past 20+ years. While it feels uncomfortable for me to sit and pray with someone in time of need or healing, for some reason I am able to do this when I show up with a pot of soup or a sweet treat.
Over the years I’ve taught our children (18 and 14) the importance of breaking bread with friends. Yes, teens love to meet for pizza somewhere, but I encourage them to bring friends to our house and make their own pizza. Yes, I get endless eye rolls, but you know what? Their friends love to come over and spend time at our house because of the food. Life if hard enough trying to track down who your kids are hanging out with. Trust me, I am the mom who has no problem putting together a parent group chat to verify who, where, what, with whom, for how long, etc. What I’ve learned is that my kids have great judgment in who they choose to spend time with and I am so grateful to them that they’ve learned to involve food in the friendship process and even involve mom and dad from time to time.
Our daughter graduated last June and is spending a gap year traveling and volunteering. Right now she’s working on a husky ranch in Lapland (north of the Arctic circle) and before that she worked on an organic farm in southwest England. All of her experiences involve volunteering for room and board. However, this also means that she is living with young adults from around the world. She thanks me continuously for teaching her how to cook and she’s made so many great new friends by breaking bread together and sharing her culture through food.
Thank you for sharing the recipes your family loves. Know that in Arlington, Virginia the Eimas family enjoys your favorites as well… red sauce enchiladas, the brown sugar ham, brookies, banana cream pie, and the list goes on!
Warm regards,
Necolle Eimas
Arlington, Virginia
Necolle! What a great comment. Thank you so much for adding your thoughts to this discussion. You’ve given me so much to think about and I love how you intentionally raised your children and encouraged them to come to your house with their friends. I love that so much. Your daughter sounds like an adventurous, brave soul – what an amazing year this will be for her. Thank you so much for sharing!
Mel, I am reminded of the story of Jesus and the Loaves & Fishes when I read this post. Endless meals and treats have been made with your recipes and I am sure a good portion of those have been shared with others. How wonderful and even miraculous that you kindness and creativity has been duplicated into so many lives!
I love that correlation…thanks for sharing that, Maureen!!
I just want to say Thank You for sharing your thoughts with us as well as your amazing recipes! I’m simply amazed with your cooking talent and even more so amazed that you share it with us just because. I do NOT enjoy cooking; however, I do realize we NEED to eat and your recipes make me feel successful. Tried and True recipes are the best! I love your well-written instructions–they are so helpful to me. Thank you for helping me be successful in my home. Thank you for Ministering to All of us. You put a smile on my face. 🙂
Thank you so much for that heartfelt comment, Erin!
Thank you so much for this post and for all the comments that have been shared as well! It brought me to tears as I have reflected of my own life as countless people have ministered to me through food. It also helped me to feel okay about and even be grateful for my desire to bake and cook and share it with others. When my family was dealing with a very difficult loss a woman I didn’t even know gave us about 10 jars of homemade jam-all different flavors. She attached a note that she knew we were suffering and that what she had to offer in a way of comfort was her simple jam. Some of those jars are still in my pantry and they brighten my mood just to see them and remember her kindness. I think ministering through food feeds both the body and the soul. We all have to eat right? It seems like sharing food in this way takes care of that basic need and then goes beyond to lift our spirits too. Thank you so much for reaching out to lift and minister to so so many through your blog.
Thank you for the comment, Brooke! And for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I love how you summed it up: “ministering through food feeds both the body AND soul” – so, so true!!
I normally don’t bake. For some weird, odd reason I have been baking up a storm the past couple of months and taking them to people. Either people who I felt could use a treat, those who I feel don’t really get noticed much in my ward or just take some goodies to a neighbor I hadn’t talked to in a while. They are always appreciative of me thinking of them and won’t turn down treats! Even though I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes (5th time! Argh) and shouldn’t really have the treats myself, I have been blessed with meeting and strengthening friendships that I never would have thought about before. A lot of people really just need a listening ear and I am super happy to listen and learn more about them! It’s so nice to be able to feel like I have surrounded myself with good people and friends who truly care. Ever since we moved here I have struggled with making friends and whether or not people like me. The last year or so I have realized that I don’t mesh with everyone (and that’s ok!) and having a few good , reliable friends in my life is more than enough.
I honestly should learn how to make bread or something else that’s not treats because the holidays are coming up and I don’t want people getting sick from having WAY too many treats, you know? Maybe you can give me some ideas of what I can give people that aren’t treats but a good little pick-me-up I can drop off to people?
Thanks for sharing this, Nina! I just have to add a little hearty “amen” to your statement about having a few, good reliable friends. I was just talking to someone about this the other night – and I was saying that I would much rather have 2-3 soul sister friends in my life rather than 100 casual friends. So I hear you on that. I’m a small circle friend type of person (in fact being in larger groups or socializing on small talk/casual fun levels sometimes gives me anxiety). Anyway, I get you on that for sure. As for other ideas, sometimes I love putting a ribbon on a fresh pineapple or cutting up some fruit or packaging up some homemade granola with a small tub of yogurt.
A couple of years ago I started giving Mel’s spinach and artichoke dip with a bag of chips to neighbors for Christmas. It’s a tasty treat without the sugar.
I’ve been meaning to comment the day this was posted… the day you posted this I was praying for an opportunity to serve someone. I thought about making your bagel bread and pumpkin cookies to a lady in my neighborhood who had a new baby. About half and hour later I receive a group text from a gal across the street who was pleading for help from her family because she had lost her job and it was looking like her and her family would be homeless for the upcoming holidays. It turns out I wasn’t meant to be apart of that group text. It was an answer to my prayers without a doubt. So I sent over some cookies, bread and an amount of cash my family could spare. They were so grateful and pouring tears. Ministering through food is my absolute favorite. And I only give others food I make from your blog. We don’t know each other, but I consider you a friend! Thank you for this post!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Courtney! What a really cool experience…and total answer to prayer on your part and the part of the family in your neighborhood.
I found this post a few weeks late, but it has helped me so much!! I love to cook and (after finding your website…) feel like I’m pretty good at it now! I love to bring meals to people. In fact, I find it somewhat amusing because whenever I make enough of a meal to “freeze for later,” someone in my life experiences something difficult or traumatic and the freezer meal always goes to them! It’s like my freezer is too slippery and can’t contain freezer meals for my own family. So I guess I show my love through freezer meals.
Over the past little while, I have been feeling bad that cooking and ministering through food was “the *only* tool in my tool belt.” Like I wasn’t creative enough to come up with other ways to serve. There was some good that came from this thinking as I’ve tried sneakily inviting a friends kids over to play when I knew she could use some alone time and a few other small things. But reading your post has helped me see that ministering through food is not just my lack of creativity, but instead maybe it’s why I’ve developed a love for and talent of cooking in the first place! Maybe I can just increase my food ministering instead of trying to be more inventive in my service? Maybe I need to just always make too much dinner and “freeze it for later.” ♥️ Thank you!!
I love your thoughts on this, Jessica! Firstly, your freezer meal conundrum had me smiling. Those freezer meals obviously know they have a higher purpose than just being doubled to feed your own family! 🙂 Also, I like your thought process on not feeling bad about the way you minister and serve well. Sure, we can probably all branch out and do more in our service efforts, but I say if you know you’re good at something, stick with it! I definitely minister via food more than anything else…I consider it my own little love language. 🙂
This is the first post of yours I’ve ever read and it pierced my heart in a wonderful way. About 5 years ago I had my second tubal pregnancy in a year and almost died. It also ended the having babies phase of my life much earlier than my heart was ready for. My husband was in the throws of deep depression and other mental illness and it felt like life was unraveling. During that time there were countless friends who showed up and ministered with food and with their love. I will always remember two in particular that came with food, but just hugged and cried with me. One in particular came multiple times with bags and bags of groceries. It still overwhelms me with love to think about it. Thanks for this post and helping me remember. It will change the way I minister from now on.
Oh Crystal, I’m so sorry. What a difficult time you have (and probably still are) enduring! Thank you for sharing…it brought me to tears thinking of your friends who came and cried with you. So, so tender.
Wow! You totally get me. I have never been able to explain why I love cooking so much and reading your post just made me think that if I were to explain it to anyone, this would be how I would say it. It has always been one of my greatest joys to make someone’s day better with food. Thank you for helping me realize why. My family loves every recipe we try from your site. Thank you for all the hard work you put into helping us all be a little better at making people’s days better through delicious food.
Thank you, Cortney!
I really appreciated this blog post. I’ve been struggling lately with getting my business going and have realized that it’s because I’m focusing on myself rather than others. I’ve been praying to know what to do and the answer that came was to serve. Service is where it’s at. When you get out and serve, it comes back to you and you receive blessings. This being said, I’ve had to take a step back and ask, then listen and then go and do. But the last part of what you said about ministering in the home is huge! I’m currently homeschooling my girls and am trying to find a balance between running a business from home and homeschooling them, and then doing all of the other things that go along with running a house. But I need to remember that my girls come first. I need to minister to my girls and husband and make sure their needs are taken care of first.
I have had instances where I’ve felt I needed to take someone a loaf of bread or a plate of cookies, or just simply text or call and see how they’re doing. I’m so grateful for the Spirit in my life and that I’m guided to help others.
Thanks for your post!
You have a lot on your plate, Ashley!! It’s hard not to feel overwhelmed (trust me, I feel that way every day) but I love the reminder you give that when we serve, it comes back tenfold (even if we don’t see that right away). You are wise!
I loved this post! I’ve been reading your blog for years and years and almost never comment, but I love you! Ministering through food is an amazing way to show love! One of my earliest memories also happens to be one of my saddest. I witnessed a nasty episode of domestic violence one morning while getting ready for school. Afterwards, my Mom called her friend Nancy to help bring us to school. I was just five years old, and Nancy was one of the few people I trusted. She could tell I was still all tied up in knots however, and I did NOT want to go to school. So she took me home with her instead, where she made me pancakes from scratch, letting me calm down and hang out with her for a while. I felt so safe and loved. It has remained a powerful, lovely memory to me.
25 years later, my neighbor across the street had to be taken to the ER and was gone all night because of domestic violence. I watched her kids, who had witnessed it, and as sad as the whole situation was, it felt so good to be able to offer them a safe, peaceful home and a warm breakfast during such a scary time. It felt like a full-circle of life moment. The little things mean everything during hard times!
Oh my goodness, Rebecca – your comment gave me goose bumps reading how that terrible domestic violence situation from your youth (and subsequent tender ministering by your mom’s friend) came full circle in a way that allowed you to minister to your neighbor in a way no one else probably could have. Wow.
I absolutely agree. Food has always been a huge part of my ministering. I feel the love when I am on the receiving end as well because I know that time, effort, and love that’s put into the offering brought. And because that’s the way I see it, that’s the way I show my love. You’re a girl after my own heart!! Thank you for sharing your talent with all of us.
Thank you, Tiffany!
Food ministry is such a valuable part of community and of the body of Christ. Our family has been on the receiving end every time one of our four children were born. Our church family and biological family blessed us with many meals and treats. We also try to see and meet needs through food as well. I have used your Creamy Swiss Chicken several times in the past few months to bless other families! This weekend I will deliver it my brother, sister in law, and their family as they just welcomed a precious baby this week! Thank-you for being my go-to site for recipes. It’s the prefect website for finding family friendly ministry meals.
Thank you so much, Tanya! That creamy Swiss chicken bake is a favorite – I need to make it more often when I take meals in to friends!
Conference weekend i planned to make your cinnamon rolls- a double batch- a pan for my family and a pan for my neighbors with their son going through leukemia. I accidental quadrupled the first step of mixing 2 ingredients. I begrudgingly pushes forward with a 4x batch of cinnamon rolls giving me an excuse and reason to minister to 8 YW 16-17 year old (i was just called as YW Ppres this month), a family who just had a baby, and a siblings family in the next town. I love giving cinnamon rolls bc it’s a labor of love for me. The time from start to finish to commit and make it all and make them good. For me cinnamon rolls are truly A labor of love, so when I give them a minister to others I know I have added love to my service 🙂 thank you for always being there with amazing recipes for me to minister to others!
Oh my goodness, Kimber, you are amazing! Quadrupling cinnamon rolls is no joke. And I love that you used it as a good reason to minister to others around you!
My brother (who was also my neighbor) was in a near fatal car accident last January that left him in a coma for 4 months. I had a brand new baby at home, along with 2 toddlers. I spent my days driving back and forth to the hospital, trying to make sure my SIL and my mother were eating during their grief. I had incredible ward members bringing me dinners when I insisted we were fine, but I won’t forget those meals and how much I needed to feel like I hadn’t been forgotten in everyone else’s grief. That was the only time I’ve been on the receiving end of ministering, and it humbled me and changed my attitude about helping others. Something as simple as a dinner and a hug can leave a huge impact. Thanks for sharing and reminding me!
It’s so true what you said about something as simple as food leaving such a huge impact. That had to be such a devastating set of circumstances to deal with – what’s interesting about your comment is the friend-of-a-friend approach to ministering, if that makes any sense. You weren’t directly involved in the car accident but because you were ministering to your brother and his family who were directly affected, others ministered to you. That’s amazing.
Mel, you hit the nail on the head! All of this! I was diagnosed with cancer last year while I was serving as RS Pres. I had chemo every Tuesday for 8 weeks. The primary president brought me a full 3 course meal every.sing.Tuesday.night. for 8 weeks! And, I am talking amazing meals with amazing sides and desserts. She had a full time job, and kids as well, yet she still did this for me every week. That was exactly what my family needed right then and I will be forever grateful for her ministering to me during a really hard time! I also had many, many other people bringing me food as well. We had so much food I didn’t even have enough room in my fridge or freezer anymore for it!
That IS amazing, Melissa! What an act of love and service (I really, really hope you are doing well after that scary diagnosis!)
This is such a beautiful post and so true!
I love making homemade dinners and bread, cookies for others.
Just recently my daughter broke her foot and. A family friend who had just had a party brought
Us leftover burritos and cake from their event.
Sweetest leftovers ever!
Love this – thanks, Robin!
Our second son’s adoption was a surprise, despite being listed for 3.5 years, we got the call at noon on Sunday (away from home), signed papers, bought a car seat, drove almost 2 hours, meet him at 5pm and brought him home 24 hours later. We had 45 minutes at home in all the crazy to prep for bringing a baby home. It was incredibly exciting but very overwhelming. By 9am the next morning, after we had been up half the night with a baby we’ve only known existed for 36 hours, I had a friend drop off hot coffee and a treat for our older son and a supper and had a cousin drop off another meal. We had a lot of food dropped off that first month when we were completely delighted but overwhelmed at this new addition. It was the most amazing gifts we received.
What a sweet and tender experience, Diana! Thank you for sharing.
This post made me tear up simply because that is how I was raised–to bake and cook for others when they are facing life’s challenges or simply need a “pick me up”. Your post is timely, relevant, and I hope, heeded. Thank you.
Thanks so much, Grace! I appreciated your sweet comment.
Thanks so much for sharing! You are spot on about this! You are a wonderful example of so many good things. I love reading your blog and feeling of your spirit through your words. Thanks much!!
Thank you, Sheri!
How blessed you are to have such wonderful friends and neighbors. I had basal cell skin cancer removed from my nose last September. I was afraid to go out until it healed.
Right now my husband is fighting pancreatic cancer, stage IV. What I wouldn’t give to have a dinner brought over after chemo days. People that help out others are definitely angels in disguise, I include you, also.
Mary Ellen, your comment made my heart ache. I’m sorry you and your husband have had challenges hit you so hard the last little while. I wish I was in your community so I could bring you dinner. I’ll pray for angels to find you.
Mary Ellen – If you are in the Denver area, please let me know. I lost my father to pancreatic cancer 16 years ago and understand that difficulty!
I always hesitate to give people food I’ve made because I’m afraid they won’t like it or it won’t be “good enough” to give to someone else. But this post reminded me of a time when my neighbor brought me a loaf of cinnamon bread. What she didn’t know is that I had recently had gum surgery so I wasn’t allowed to eat bread for 6 weeks. But even though I couldn’t eat it, I still appreciated the fact that she was thinking of me and had brought me something. Plus my husband was able to devour the bread so he also appreciated the gesture 🙂 But even if I bring some food that people won’t like or can’t eat, it’s the gesture that matters.
I appreciate this comment, Stephanie! Thank you so much for sharing.
Mel, I’ve been so blessed to have you minister to me with food. The treats you would randomly bring over as well as the meals you brought after I had Addi were a much needed blessing, not only because of the incredible food, but because you truly exemplified ministering and letting me know there was always someone there. Thank you for the wonderful example you showed to me of friendship and ministering.
We miss you guys!!!
You know what? You are a treasure.
That was the sweetest. Thank you, Andrea.
A few years ago, I lost 2 people close to me to suicide and a relative to cancer all within 6 months. I’ll never forget the day when my new neighbor and visiting teacher at the time brought over a bag full of prepped containers of food. It had been packed so I had lunches for work along with some snacks for the week. Nothing fancy, but it was food. It was so simple but meant so much. I’ve always remembered that. I had told her I didn’t need anything, but having just a few things on hand made such a difference in my mood and being able to grieve. Food is a love language. Sometimes, you can’t fix or make the situation better, but food will always help.
What a sweet experience, Melissa (and so sorry for what you went through losing three people close to you in such a short time).
Hi Mel – I’m a little late to commenting, but am here! This spoke to me on a few different levels. First of all, I never really thought of sharing food as a “ministry”. But reading your post & reading some other comments, it really truly is a ministry, just like others. Once I grasped and accepted that perspective, things fell into place like a “domino-effect”. As most people do in life, at times you question what God has planned or want to know how he’s working. I’ve been praying for him to show me ways I can help others and serve. When I read your post, honestly, that was God speaking through you to me. I really enjoy cooking & sharing. Sharing with people in need is such a blessing to both!
Thanks again, Mel – your site, recipes and perspective are amazing!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Melissa! It really touched my heart that you are so open to what God wants for you.
I loved your message on the love language of food through ministering. I remember my mother fixing dinners and homemade bread for others in need. Sometimes it was a new mother, or for a funeral or feeding lunch to a dozen sweaty men who were cutting our fields of wheat, or a relative who just happened to drop by at dinner time or a visiting authority or just her family of Dad and us ten children. I too have had the blessing of giving to others, now it’s usually just my homemade chocolate chip cookies. I enjoy giving them to anyone who comes to our home. It might be just a napkin full for the guy fixing our furnace, or the boys mowing our yard or the volleyball team raking the leaves, or to my many grandchildren who come to play. It’s difficult to accept from others, but certainly a great blessing in our lives. I am batteling breast cancer right now and have a great support system from all of our children and their families. The cards, gifts, meals, help and love from so many wonderful, thoughtful friends and family is overwhelming. My heart is so grateful but it’s almost too much to endure!
We have a dear friend and neighbor She brings dinner to us every Thursday and told me it’s not negotable, she’s bringing it! She also takes dinner that evening to another mother of six children who is also batteling cancer, plus dinner for her own family of seven. She also makes me a big, beautiful cake every year for my birthday. Her entire family ministers to us in so many different ways and we love you for it! Thank you, my dear Melanie!
Love you right back, Carol.
I’m currently in hospice and saying a final goodbye to friends I love. Many of my visitors have brought a gift of food, mostly homemade baked goods, that I can serve to our next guests along with coffee.
There have been other homemade/homegrown food offerings, too, such as a complete dinner for now and another to freeze. We also were also gifted with raspberries from local gardens, and homemade soups – frozen red lentil soup and a tortilla soup. All were appreciated.
But if you don’t bake, cook, or garden, there are other options. One couple brought over a menu for a new restaurant and had us choose entrees, then picked up our selections along with theirs so we could enjoy a meal together at our home.Another friend stopped at a local bakery and brought the ‘scone of the day’ for us to enjoy as we visited.
All of these food offerings were given in love and eased the pain associated with the purpose of the visit. I’ll be forever grateful.
Wendy, your sweet comment was so touching. Thank you for those insights. I hope you are able to connect with all of those you love and who love you.
Very true. Our church used to do this for all the new mothers. Ladies would bring an entire meal for the family (could be every other day, too). What a blessing!
I agree, what a blessing!
Can I just say that I have been personally touched by your ministering with food? So when I read this post my heart just burst with love for you. There is a difference between bringing in a meal for someone who needs it, and truly “ministering” with that meal. I truly believe that you taught me that lesson years ago when you brought us a meal after our daughter was born. I knew there was something different in the way you put so much love and thought into that act of service, and I’ve spent all these years after that trying to emulate that example every time I minister when food. You might not believe me but it’s true. Thanks Mel.
Oh my goodness, Nicole, your comment made want to cry. You are so sweet and I still treasure those memories of being young moms together. You were such a dear friend to me. Can you believe Scott and Walker are teenagers now??
This pulled at my heart strings. I had a friend (I’m actually her ministering sister and we’ve traded roles many times over the years) just randomly bring me a pan of brownies one day. I didn’t need the brownies, but I so needed to know that someone was thinking of me and was concerned for my well-being. I’ll never forget it. I’m so grateful that I can serve and that I’m blessed by being served. 🙂
I love that, Colleen. Like so many others, you’re right, you probably didn’t actually need brownies, but those brownies were and are a symbol that you were not forgotten that day.
Your comments on ministering hit home. I live in Meridian, cooking is my passion & love, love your blog. I recently had knee replacement surgery and, like you, am very independent. And I’m always willing to help others but am very uncomcomfortable receiving help from others. After my surgery, my ministering Angels from church and other church friends kept showing up with flowers & food. Prior to my surgery when I told my 18-year old grandson how uncomfortable I was having people do things for me, he informed me that these people would be blessed by serving me.
Busted by my grandson!!
I would to meet you someday.
Haha, that’s so awesome, Tina!! Busted by your grandson is right!! What a wise young man. Good luck with your recovery! And I hope our paths cross!
Mel, thank you for sharing your thoughts on ministering with food. I have personally been blessed by others with food in difficult times and have given food to many others when they were sick or going through a difficult time. Thank you for all that you do and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Thank YOU, Mary!
I’ll be honest: I don’t understand it when people say it’s hard to receive. This might be a whole post for you to do as I’ve seen so many comments saying this. I love to receive. I love compliments–you just say “thank you…so kind of you to say”. I’ve never understood people who need to negate this or to deflect the kindness. It is part of holiness to accept the giving from others.
Wise words, Lissa! Not all of us are fortunate enough to have that mindset although it’s clear from this thread that many are trying to make peace with that side of serving. I’m glad it comes so naturally to you! That’s a gift, I think. 🙂
Thank you for this post! What a blessing it is to be served and to serve! You are an inspiration!
Thank you, Jessica!
I enjoyed reading your post as well as several of the comments. I too have been on both the giving and receiving ends of this. another way that this is a blessing is that it models to our kids what it means to serve and receive from others. recently one of my older boys told me how nice it was to see But I had good friends that love me well. we do so much for a kids, but it is also so valuable for them to see when we need other people. I am a big fan of your blog and I enjoy your non-recipe posts just as much as the recipes.
Such a great point, Lisa!! Such a great point. Our kids notice and recognize and learn whether we are the ones serving or the ones being served. Thanks for mentioning this!
Your website has enriched my family’s life in so many ways. Ministering through food (that is to say, cooking and baking) has not been a natural love for me, but since finding your website about 5 years ago (right around the same time I had my first child), I feel like I have come leaps and bounds. Your enthusiasm for cooking, recipes, and food has inspired and taught me how to bless others’ lives through food. I feel like I can say with all honesty that your website has helped me be a better wife and mother. So thank you!!! And here’s another way it’s blessed someone’s life: last year I felt this great need to make your white chocolate raspberry truffle cheesecake. Don’t judge, but cheesecake has historically not been my favorite thing in the world, and I had just had a new (and colicky) baby, so I was surprised by how strongly I felt the need to make it. I bought the ingredients and a spring foam pan and made it a year ago today. Right after finishing it, my best friend called to tell me she had lost her baby at 17 weeks. This friend’s favorite dessert is cheesecake, and at that moment I knew why I had made it. I delivered it to her home, and later she said it was the best cheesecake she had ever had. It was something small for such a huge loss, but I know and she knew God was sending her a personalized message of love through that cheesecake.
Abbi!! Wow. The cheesecake experience had me in full tears. What a sweet memory to share with your friend and something you both will never forget, I’m sure. The timing of that cheesecake was divine. Thank you for sharing that.
What a wonderful, important message to share with the world, Mel. Your generosity and sharing how ministering has helped you is such an inspiration. Thank you!!!
Thanks, friend!
I loved this story! I understand exactly how you feel and wish I had said it so beautifully. I feel baking or cooking something for someone is love in action. I’ve not been on the receiving end very often but have loved being on the serving end!
Bless you for wanting and loving to serve, Cathy! I love those words “love in action”
I cannot imagine being ministered to in this way. Lovely
Lovely is a perfect word for it. 🙂
Thank you for this reminder! I have this complex where I’m scared to give people my baked goods/food because I’m worried they won’t like it and will just throw it away (after I put my life and soul into making it, haha), OR, it won’t measure up to their cooking/baking. I know the answer is to just forget myself and go and do, BUT… (whine). Maybe I should stick with “plain” things that most people enjoy. My husband tells me constantly that I like “weird food”. He’s a meat and potatoes guy and I love ALL cuisines- like you! I guess that’s why I adore your recipes. Anyway, everyone seems to be so picky these days! (I made chicken fajitas for friends the other day and the wife wouldn’t touch it and asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich *sob*.) And don’t even get me started with allergies and special diets. I know that often it is not one’s fault that they must eat lactose free, gluten free, nut free, etc. etc. etc. etc. I don’t mean to demean those restrictions in any way! I feel very blessed that I don’t need to worry about that at this point. But, you get my drift. Those were some of my thoughts. Lots of love!
Me too. She asked for a PBJ sandwich!!!!!????? Very poor manners. I buy a pie from a well know restaurant. Who knows though. Maybe it goes in the trash later. At least it came from my heart.
Valid thoughts, Lindsey. 🙂 I’m sorry you’ve had some difficult responses to your willingness to serve! What I’m learning from so many in this comment thread is the most important thing isn’t the food, it’s just showing up and being there…so keep at it! Your efforts are not wasted!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful thought.
Thanks, Jen.
I love this post! I absolutely believe this. For years I happily took meals to friends who’d had babies or illness or hardship. Then a few years ago I had both of my knees replaced (at the same time). I made 30 freezer meals before the surgery, so my family would not “be a burden” to anyone but reluctantly accepted meals 2 nights a week to be brought in from church. Still, women stopped by with treats, someone brought arnica for the bruising, one friend brought groceries, another mango (my fav. fruit), extra un-expected dinners showed up, a bunch of fresh flowers, one friend drove me to physical therapy 3 times a week for SIX WEEKS before I could drive myself again. It was so humbling and sweet and I will forever be grateful to those women who rallied around me during that hard time. Being the receiver is hard but so very necessary for ministering to continue to work so beautifully.
I am so, so happy that you’ve had so many rally around you as you’ve needed it, Tania! What a powerful message of friendship and support. Thank you for sharing!
I have made a lot of meals for my friends, family, and church members throughout the years. I just wanted to help out when they were going through times of a new baby, a move, an illness, or just a busy season. It was never a big deal to me. Sometimes I would just double what I was making or sometimes I made something I knew their kids would eat. Recently I got got injured and it is difficult for me to make dinner for my family. Some families from my church have provided us meals three times a week for a month. It has been the hardest thing to accept the meals but also the biggest relief. I feel guilty because I know that all of them have things going on in their own lives too. However, it has been a huge blessing to me and my family. My kids can see now that it is important to help others and it is important to accept help too. We don’t care if it is fancy or elaborate we are just so blessed and feel so loved by these families. When I am back to good health I will be making meals to bring to other families again with a new appreciation about how life giving it can be for them.
I’m sorry for the difficult time you are facing being injured, Sara! I hope you are recovering fully (probably not as quickly as you’d like, right??) someone else mentioned The positive effect ministering, and ministering through food, can have on our kids. I love that you mentioned it too. Such a wonderful side benefit to all this.
Mel, I love this post. I know there are families that I would like to give to. However, I am curious for your thoughts on how, recipes, suggestions?
My husband and I are in the space of having busy kid schedules and demanding jobs. I know we can find the time to help others but need some help. Maybe a future post?
I’ll try to get a follow up post up soon!
Thank you so much for your blog and this post. I never comment but felt moved to share as well. I live in Georgia and one of the hottest days of the years some county employees were working on the water pipes. I decided to make them some
Muffins. They were in shock that I was standing there offering them these muffins. Fast forward an hour my kids and I are going stir crazy inside and it is hot outside. The guys turned all the fire hydrant for a few minutes and when they took a break my kids and I ran out to play. We ended up playing with it for forty five minutes. As soon as we were done they turned it off. I am convinced that if we did not give them those muffins they would not have left the water on as long. The small ways people can pay it forward and my kids had so much fun that day
What an awesome and fun experience, Wendy!! I loved this! Service and happiness begets service and happiness.
Mel, I used to home teach a brother who had many health problems that resulted in him being placed in a rehab center for a time due to a spinal injury. It was his birthday and that evening as I got off work I remembered that it was his birthday so I called him to see how things were. He informed me that hIs daughter in law was in labor and his wife was with them at the hospital and I realized that he was all alone in a rehab center on his birthday so I said “I’m on my way over and we are gonna celebrate your birthday,,,what can I bring you?” After a moment he asked for. Cheesecake and a Coca-Cola. So when I arrived with the requested treats he told me that the grand baby had been born with some health issues and had been flown to a different hospital and the family was worried. As we were eating our cheesecake a pizza arrived – his wife had sent it to cheer him up. Soon after, his phone rang and it was his wife checking up on him. His face beamed as he told his wife about me bringing him cheese cake and that he was sharing his pizza with me. I began to realize how much I had brightened his day. But then it hit me what she must be going through having her husband in one hospital on his birthday while her daughter in law was in labor in another hospital and the baby rushed to a third hospital – I cant even imagine what that must have felt like but I heard her telling him how happy she was that I was with him and I began to sense how relieved she was that I was there with her husband. It felt like I was doing her the greater service. It was a touching experience to think of how great a service was provided such a small offering on my part – a cheesecake, a coke and an hour of my time, but it had an immeasurable influence on a family that was stretched very thin and needed some relief
Bobby! What a fantastic experience – I’m so glad you shared this! The whole story had me sitting on the edge of my seat – talk about a turn of events! It just warmed my heart knowing that sweet man wasn’t alone on his birthday while his daughter in law and wife were dealing with a difficult labor and delivery. (And you are right, can you imagine the relief for his wife??) I loved this so much. Thank you!
Thank you for this post! It was perfect. I feel so much the same way as so many others who have commented on the good that comes from ministering with food. I have had so, so many experiences when people have ministered to me, just when I needed it. 2 times stand out in particular. The first was the day my grandma suddenly and very unexpectedly passed away. She was young and we were all very close to her. My family (aunts, uncles, cousins) all congregated to her house to be together and with my grandpa. My grandpa has built that house and all of his neighbors at the time had built theirs. They had been friends and neighbors for many years. Around 11 that morning the next door neighbor showed up with a huge crock pot of soup. She said she knew the whole family would gather and that we would need to eat. It was a huge blessing and was filled with love. Another time was about 10 years ago my husband was in a car accident that bruised his kidney and had him down in bed for over a week. The day of the accident had been very long. My 2 yr old had slept horrible and awoken early due to a fever, I was dealing with morning sickness (all day really), and then we had spent several hours in the ER. My visiting teacher called me about 8 that night as I was about to head out to instacare with my son, to see how I was doing and if she could set up a time to come visit. I burst into tears and ended up telling her about everything going on. She showed up the next day with dinner, which was a heaven send. I hope I have been able to bless others, as so many have blessed my life.
Thank you for sharing such tender (and difficult!) experiences, Chantel! I can’t even tell you how much I have been buoyed up reading your (and other’s) experiences regarding how they’ve been ministered to. It makes me want to do and be better!
I too have had so many people minister to me through food. One week after I had my second baby, my mom had just gone home and it was a Friday and my husband needed to work at our business so I was all alone for just a few hours. I thought I would be just fine, but in the evening I suddenly started hemorrhaging. Just as I was calling my doctor and trying to figure out what to do with my kids and how to get to the hospital, my doorbell rang. There were 3 neighbors standing there with dinner (which meant so much anyway because we were new to the neighborhood). I quickly told them what was happening and they went right to work. One took me to the hospital, one took my 18 month old to her house and the other took the neighbor kids home that had wandered over. It was such a blessing! The interesting thing was, they were shooting for being there at 5:00 pm but were running late. If they had come at 5 I don’t think I would have known what was happening yet. I’m so grateful for whatever held them up that night.
Katie! Holy cow. First of all, I am so, so grateful you were ok despite a terrifying experience that could have been devastating without people showing up at your door. Also, there is no such thing as coincidences, right?? That is insane that they just happened to be running late exactly on a night you needed them (without knowing it yourself) to be running late. Wow.
I loved this post and all the comments that have followed! It doesn’t even have to be something extravagant – during a particularly hard time for our family, a friend brought a baked spaghetti with meatballs. My extremely picky 2 year old son actually devoured those meatballs, so I called my friend to thank her and ask for the recipe. She laughed and admitted they were just the Walmart brand frozen meatballs. The next day, there was a knock at the door and her own little 2 year old girl was standing there with an entire bag of the frozen meatballs with a bow on them, which she presented to my son. It was an adorable moment, and one that I still smile about 9 years later.
Oh my gosh, I love this so much!
I love this article! Very inspiring to keep on keeping on with cooking & baking for others. Along this vein, do you have any posts about containers/techniques for food deliveries? My strategy used to be to deliver food on my best platters, etc. However, now I lean more towards packing everything in plastic containers & ziplock bags. (Then, no one has to stress about returning things to me the next time they see me at church.) I also love to pack things up so it’s appealing & has a little personality to it. A follow up blog post detailing the nuts & bolts of meal delivery would be so, so awesome!! I know you have thoughts on this. Surely! Ha! Pretty please! :):)
Hey Kelly – this is a great question! I don’t have a post up about this, but based on the questions and comments in this thread, I think a follow up post will be happening soon! I’ll be sure to include my go-to containers for taking meals and such. I try to shoot for containers that people don’t have to wash or return like you mentioned it.
Food can say love in so many ways. I grew up in a family of six. Back when there was one bathroom in the house; and dinner was around the table every evening and Sunday dinner after church. Back when people opened their homes to invite family and friends for dinner. Didn’t choose to eat out. Not many could afford that back then. My Mom never turned anyone away for a meal. We always felt like we could bring a friend along for lunch or supper. She was happy to have them at the table. And we never knew when there was going to be a knock at the back door and their stood an Uncle who came to town for something and knew he was welcome for lunch. I don’t know how Mom did it. But we always had enough food for everyone.. Saturday mornings were time for baking, making bread, cinnamon rolls, pie, noodles. Whatever the need was for the weekend. And she always shared. She shared her love for others in many ways. But what came from her kitchen was a big way she showed her love for God, love for others, and God’s love for her. All those memories fill my heart with love for her and love for my heavenly Father who gave me the gift of the most Godly mother he could give. Her walk ministered to me everyday.
Your comment filled me with so much happy warmth – the example of your sweet mom who accepted anyone and everyone at her dinner table and taught you so much through the way she served (and also clearly her amazing talent with food). What a legacy. I want to be just like her.
So true Mel! I think ministering through food is a blessing both for the receiver and the giver. I’ve been both. 3 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. So many Dr. appts, tests for treatment planning and then the chemo, side effects and radiation. It was all very overwhelming but the Lord was with me (us-my husband) rhrough it all. We received some meals and they were truly a blessing. To know someone cares enough to take the time to make a meal, its hard to describe. A couple of weeks ago, a family in our church was go8ng through some difficult days with their daughter needing brain surgery. Preparing a meal was my way of encouraging and comforting them. I try to look for ways to bless others with my love of baking.
Thank you so much for your thoughts, Jacquie. It’s so true what you said – to know someone cares enough to take the time to make a meal IS hard to describe but it has such a lasting effect. Thank you for sharing!
Like so many others, this post really resonated with me. Food is love to me, too. I’ve had positive experiences on both sides – receiving and giving. When I had my first baby, my best friend told me, “When someone offers to bring you dinner, the answer is always YES!” Those post-baby meals were certainly a blessing, even the store bought ones. I have loved ministering with food. I made a dear friend after dropping off sugar cookies that she later told me reminded her of a bakery her mother used to take her to when she was a little girl. This post has reminded me of so many wonderful food experiences!
Like you, I think the most important ministering we do is in our own homes. When I was getting divorced, I heard somewhere that one of the most comforting smells to children is cookies baking in the oven. I determined to use cookies as one way to help make our new living arrangements feel like home. Later I realized how much my kids appreciated homemade breakfast, so I decided to get up a little earlier so I could make a hot breakfast rather than feeding them cold cereal everyday. It means a lot to them and was totally worth the lost sleep. I don’t have the money to spoil my kids materially, but I can spoil them with homemade food. 🙂
Thanks for the light and love you bring into this world through your blog.
Jan, you are amazing! Those sacrifices you made for your kids during a difficult time will effect them forever, I am sure. I loved so much what you shared. Thank you!
I was out of town and when I got home and opened up the freezer my daughter had meal prepped for me 10 dinners. It was the best gift she has ever given me.
Oh my goodness, this is AMAZING!
Growing up, I was blessed to have a stay at home mom who was a good cook, but an excellent baker! My aunts-her sisters- often dropped by for coffee and conversation. Although it seemed like such a natural thing, it was truly a source of support and love among them-which left memories that touch my heart. My sisters and I are also caregiving personalities. I feel blessed to have the familial role models in my life!
Those role models are priceless! So happy you had such amazing women in your life to influence you.
Beautiful, inspirational post. The last two sentences express, quite simply how I feel as well. I am off to bake because my freezer is void of cookies at the moment and I might need some any day.
You never know when you’ll need them, huh? 🙂
First, I just want to say that I love your posts, your recipes, your kooky sense of humor. I LOVE to give food as a gift to others. Many many times I have used your recipes to help me comfort others. New baby, illness, death, I have delivered meals for all of these. I did it without a second thought, but years later people will say “I still remember that time you made me your amazing cookies” . Still, I did not realize the power of this until my mom died. We had a beautiful memorial and then an after gathering at my brother’s house. After several hours it was just us…. Her three kids, spouses and grandkids. There was a knock on the door and it was 3 hot pizzas being delivered to us courtesy of my brothers best friend. Let me tell you, the comfort of pizza, the pain of grief, the thoughtfulness of friends, it all was made right for a few minutes while we ate that pizza together as a family.
Thank you so much, Cyndi (and thanks for “getting” my weird sense of humor – haha). That is such a sweet gesture from your brothers’ friend. It probably wouldn’t have mattered what he had delivered…but the gesture is something you’ll always remember!
When my oldest daughter was born, she had to be rushed to a different hospital with more advanced facilities for surgery. She spent two weeks in intensive care, and another four weeks at the hospital after that. Needless to say, we were spending as much time as possible at the hospital. Our (fairly new) neighbors all organized a rotating schedule to bring us dinner several times a week. I can’t understate how amazing it was, and how much it helped us get through that difficult time.
Wow, to have (new) neighbors do this for you…that’s amazing. I had a similar experience when our fairly new neighbor took a precious vacation day (he was a school teacher) to stay with my kids while Brian came with me when I had a D&C after a miscarriage. I couldn’t believe the generosity and kindness. It is something I will NEVER forget!
So grateful you were able to experience that.
YESSSS! This post! I can’t count the number of times I’ve ministered to others with your recipes! On the receiving end, one friend brought my family meals every week when I was very sick at the start of a pregnancy. I couldn’t prepare meals for my 4 kids and husband due to the severity of my illness. My friend’s meals were the only non-prepared foods my family ate for several weeks. A few months after it all ended, I learned that her husband had lost his job at the same time she brought us meals. She was bringing us meals despite her family having no income for several weeks. It was a Christ-like sacrifice I couldn’t even begin to repay, and was so touching!
Teresa…what a powerful experience! The sacrifice of your friend brought tears to my eyes. People who have that kind of intrinsic, no fanfare kindness are true angels. Thank you for sharing that.
I love this post! So true. Growing up, my family was often on the receiving end as well as the giving end of this type of ministry. It’s something I continue to do. If there is a friend or neighbor in need, they are getting a meal from me. Being on the receiving end is such a blessing as well. Thanks for this post Mel!
You’re amazing, Tammi!
Yes!! I have always said that food is one of my love languages… it brings me such joy and comfort, and I love to be able to share my love in such a tangible way. I am so happy when my food makes other people happy! On the flip side, it always means so much to me when someone brings over a meal or a plate of treats, even if it was just something from a boxed mix! It truly is the thought that counts. It really is an act of love. There is something special about it, no matter which side you’re on.
I agree! It means so much to me, too – no matter what it is!! Loved your last line. So true.
The kitchen is where I have always felt comfortable and at home. I feel like it’s where my creative juices fly, but at the very root of it, it is where I show my family love. I feel like I am not always wonderful at showing love outwardly, but when I am cooking my husband’s favorite dinner, or a big birthday dinner for the kids, my love just explodes onto the plate. And it has outpoured into giving food to friends and family. It is the biggest way that I show love and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that food is my love language!!
I’m right there with you, Jennifer! I have so many shortcomings in the way that I nurture and show love, but I can always be counted on to show love through food. Thanks for sharing this!
Shortly after our family moved my dad passed away. We didn’t know anyone in our new neighborhood or church congregation, but total strangers brought our little family dinner off and on for two months. At the time I didn’t think I needed help, but looking back, I can see what they saw. I was a wreck and didn’t even know it. I could name a million examples where people have reached out with food and love, but this one stands out the most because they were total strangers. They didn’t worry or stress about food preferences, dietary restrictions, allergies, etc. They just gave what they had and it meant a lot.
I think that’s so insightful what you said about people on the outside being able to recognize sometimes what we can’t even see for ourselves when we are going through the struggles. I love that they gave what they had…and it meant so much to your family.
I know I’m just a passable cook. But food is a large part of my husband and my life because we manage a food distribution day each Thursday at our church. We set up a system so people could shop for their needs. The food is abundant, varied and as good as we possibly can get. But food is just the draw to encourage community. We listen to each others stories and pray for each other. We bring gently used things we no longer need to give away. We never prequalify anyone. We figure if they are there they need something we have. Sometimes that is just a smile or a listening ear. Food draws us and gathers us.
This is amazing, Sue! What you are doing is so much more than food! How wonderful that you listen to their experiences and pray with and for each other. What a remarkable thing – I can only imagine how many people it has helped (including the ones doing the helping!).
I spent months on strict bed rest with our children. Without family nearby, we wondered how we’d make it. But we did because people continually poured out their love for us through food and visits. Over the years, I have been both the giver and receiver, finding myself blessed on each occasion. Thank you for your words and the reminder of how important the gesture can be.
An opportunity to minster through food popped up just last week. At a loss of what to bring, I turned to your site to provide each of the recipes. I had the thought that I should ask you to consider doing a post of the best freezable meals/desserts/snacks/etc. to take to someone. It would be greatly appreciated!
I will definitely get a post up! There have been a lot of requests for that. 🙂
My husband and I have always served through food. Whether it was friends with new babies, elderly friends struggling, families in a health crisis, or just single friends who might be alone on a holiday. We have served our kids’ numerous football and baseball teams regularly. It is how we show our love!
Earlier this year, I suffered a severely broken ankle, that ended up requiring surgery. Our community of friends organized a meal train for us, and the response was overwhelming. My husband was SO uncomfortable, because WE are the family that FEEDS ALL OF THE PEOPLE, ALL OF THE TIME. I had to remind him over and over, that these people were serving us out of love, just as we do regularly. Food really is our love language over here!
I’m so sorry about your ankle Corrie! I hope it is healing well. And I think your husband is not alone – it’s so easy to feel uncomfortable with the process. I have felt that too! I love that you and your husband have created this huge legacy of service through food. On the flipside, I bet people were SO eager to have their chance to serve you.
In 2013, we experienced a devastating house fire in the dead of winter. We had to leave the remants of our burnt home in the dead of night, homeless and with only the clothes on our back. I had 2 junior high school children at the time and we lost almost everything. I will be forever grateful to the ONE family who brought us in to their home and fed us. They were so inspired and so generous. We struggled every day with being uprooted and relocated. Everything in our life had to change and my children really struggled. I found out much later, after the fact, that my daughter had prayed every night for the 7 months we were out of our home, for a plate of cookies to come, from her YW group or anyone. But they never came. And I am so grateful for this lesson. We heard later, after we were able to move back into our rebuilt home, that because I am “such a great cook” people were “intimidated” to bring us food because we wouldn’t like it. I cannot tell you how much we did NEED the kindness and the reaching out and the ministering…….even if I can cook! What we needed more at the time was the knowledge that we mattered and were valued. Ever since then, we have made it a mantra in our home to “BE THE PLATE OF COOKIES”. As a family, with children now living in other states we talk during the week about people around us and how we can “BE THE PLATE OF COOKIES.” We try to identify someone that could potentially benefit from being noticed, cared about and valued. On Saturday or Sunday we take something to those people….sometimes 1 or sometimes 4. Sometimes it is cookies, sometimes a gift card, sometimes groceries. Most of all it is just the thought. Sometimes it is anonymous, sometimes deliberate. We had one experience where a mother found out it was us and came up to us telling us that our gesture had changed her life becusse she was in the process of taking her own life. My advice to EVERYONE…..BE THE PLATE OF COOKIES. It doesn’t matter if it is Gordon Ramsey or Mel living down the street who are amazing cooks or someone who has never cooked before. People need YOU more than the food. They need to know they are loved and cared about. And it will be ALL the difference in their lives. Don’t worry if they can cook and you feel you cannot, or they are so picky/allergies/etc to NOT see the kindness behind the gesture. If you are nudged, inspired or told….just act on it. There is someone out there that needs you at that time and you may never know why. #BETHEPLATEOFCOOKIES.
Thank you for sharing this! I’m often intimidated by other women’s talents and allow that to excuse me from reaching out. I will try to do better, and “be the plate of cookies”. My bible study girls are going through Jen Schmidt’s “Just Open the Door” series on hospitality and I’m going to share your comment with them so we can all be challenged to do more
I feel like I could replace the entire post I wrote up there with your words. I am in tears reading them. And hardly know what to say except that that mantra will be on my mind forever! Be the plate of cookies! Be the plate of cookies. Thank you for sharing this…I cannot imagine the devastation of losing a home and helping your children through that devastating process. I hope I am always someone who will seek out the one and be the plate of cookies no matter if it’s uncomfortable or may even seem like it is unneeded. I just loved this so much.
KT my life is so crazy busy, but as I read your comment I felt that it is important for me to “be the plate of cookies” to those around me. I can’t imagine what your family went through, but can imagine what a plate of cookies would have done especially for your children. Thank you for sharing.
Dear Mel,
Your post was very inspiring to me! I love the idea of food as a nurturing gift and admire your community for their generosity. This topic is so important to me, when I was finishing my PhD in Leadership Studies I did research and wrote my dissertation on the role of food in healing and building community. I interviewed women who prepare food for families who have a new baby in the home or perhaps some other challenge such as illness or loss. I was profoundly moved by the dinners I was given when my boys were born. They are 6 and 9 now and life is more complicated than ever but I can still recall the delicious and soul stirring meals I received when I was an overwhelmed new mom. Food is my favorite way to spell love! And I love reading your blog!
Warmly,
Cami
Cami – how cool is that that your dissertation was about the role of food in healing and building communities. That is amazing!! I bet the process and research was fascinating. Thank you for sharing!
I have shared this on my IG stories but I have to share again here. I truly feel like you have ministered to me through your blog. I was single for a very long time and did not cook for myself or others at all. When I offered to bring a meal to others I would go to my favorite restaurant and order take out. It was too depressing to cook for one so I didn’t. Then I got married and had my daughter. All of a sudden I had a family who needed me to show up in the kitchen. So I went online and found your blog. You have taught me to cook. You have given me confidence to branch out and try new flavors. You have inspired me to create a yummy meal for my family. I cannot even begin to express how much this has helped me grow as a person and parent. I am now very confident in the kitchen and prepare dinner 95% of the time. In fact, eating at restaurants is now no longer appealing as I feel I can make better food. I definitely have been ministered to and ministered to others with food but I just needed to point out ministering can come in so many ways we don’t even imagine. To me you don’t “just have a food blog”. You have given me something that has changed my life and the life of my family. I love you so much for your wonderful blog but also for your spirit that shines through your posts to anonymous me and gives me the confidence to show up for my family
I have recently made food for a dear family I know. Once when the mom suffered a miscarriage and most recently I made her family of 12 a double batch of your mom’s burritos for the start of their school year. Neither times did she ask but both times there were tears of gratitude. What seemed easy enough for me to do changed her day. Making dinner has never been my favorite or strongest part of my mom duties but you have ministered to me by your posts and recipes. It has changed the way I think about meal planning and feeding my family. It isn’t the same as getting a meal delivered to your door but you have helped me so much. Plus the meal would be cold by the time you got it to Michigan.
A family of 12! Wow, that is no small feat…how blessed they are to have your willingness to serve them! Thank you for sharing, Jenny – and for your kindness. I laughed out loud at the last line. You’re right. I can’t deliver meals nation wide each night, but man, I love that the recipes I share here are helping families out across the globe.
Oh, Rebecca, your words are so kind. Thank you! I’m so proud of your talents and how you’ve developed them and made cooking a priority for you and your family. That is no small sacrifice and I think you are amazing! And your comment made me super weepy and I think was just the words I needed to hear tonight after a harder day. So thank you. You ministered to ME tonight. Appreciate you.
Oh how I love this post Mel! Food is my favorite way to minister and to be ministered too. There is so much love and sincerity that comes through something homemade. Right now I have sweet older neighbors who love homemade soup. I’m young and single and love to cook so when I make soup, I make sure to take some to my friends. In turn they happily return dishes with adorable sweet notes that bring me such joy! It’s such a blessing to serve and be served. Even though it’s usually easier to serve than be served.
That is the cutest, Erin! I love this relationship you’ve cultivated with your sweet neighbors. Just made me smile.
I love this post so much. Agree 100%. Food speaks so much love. I always tell people that new moms don’t need someone to show up with yet another burp cloth or rattle, they need comfort food. I remember those meals more than anything else postpartum!
Same here!
Best Baby shower ever! I was pregnant with our 4th child when my husband was deployed to Afghanistan for a year. I was due about halfway through his your. It was our plan to try and get him there near our around the time our baby was to be born, but my history of coming early was there. My baby was due January 9th and my husband and I figured that he should at least be there for Christmas and if she was born before that would all workout. One of my best friends threw me a surprise baby shower. This was not an ordinary baby shower this was a service shower. My friend had gotten with many members of our church and friends and asked for them to sign up for a service that they could give to me for a present at the baby shower. Oh one thing I forgot to mention was that I lived in Okinawa Japan. I was far from my own family. I was having a rough pregnancy and found out a day before delivery that I had preclamcia. With my last baby coming 7 weeks early I had to make sure to rest more often but being the mother of already three and no husband around to help this was very difficult. So back to the baby shower. My friend had organized enough meals and service to cover 2 months. One before baby and one after baby. It was so humbling to have people come over daily to be given a meal. I think the best part of that was not just the meal but the much needed contact with people and Adults that I didn’t realize I needed. There was a miriad of other things people did for me that again I had no idea I needed. One friend came over and helped me change all the sheets on the beds, another vacuumed my whole house. Some volunteered to take my kids to some of their activities. To end the story my husband made home just in time for our baby to be born Christmas morning. He got home just three days before. We had to say goodbye to him when our baby was 10 days old. This was very hard for me, but in the back of my mind my Heavenly Father reminded me of my ministering Angels that were around me to help me carry this burden and peace filled my soul as we stood there in the airport saying goodbye to our daddy for another 6 months.
Ok, I’m crying. What a seriously amazing story of true ministering and serving through a time that most of us cannot even begin to imagine (a husband deployed, pregnant, etc). It probably didn’t take all the heart ache and difficulties of your situation away, but I can see how it paved the way for survival and forged eternal friendships. Thank you so, so much for sharing. It’s inspired me to do and be more!
Mel, Thank you for your genuine post on ministering through food. I have been on the giving and receiving end of this and it truly does bridge challenges and offers compassion, empathy and love. I will say, however, one neighbor brought me dinner once AND mowed my lawn (several times) after I had surgery and I still think of her as my angel.
Mowing the lawn is a true act of love! I can honestly say I’ve never done that for anyone but if it was done for me, I would cry buckets of tears. Such a sweet friend.
Sometimes, when we do not know what to do to help, bringing food is a way to show you care. My family and I have also been blessed by ministering through food. At the time, My husband and I just become licensed foster parents when we received call asking if we could take a 20 month old girl and her twin brothers that were just born and were two months premature. We excitedly said yes, but then heard nothing for two weeks and just assumed they went to another family. I got a call one day after work informing me that the twins were ready to be picked up from the hospital. We were not prepared for anything. I made a quick call to cancel a ministering appointment I had and briefly explained the situation so I didn’t seem rude. By the time we got home, we had bags of baby clothes, diapers, formula and other supplies as well as meals sitting on our front porch.
Another similar situation happened twhen our family was broken hearted because an adoption did not go through when we were just days away. To help show us her love and concern a friend brought dinner, rolls and raspberry honey butter. Even though I was completely capable in both situations, my burdens were lifted and my heart was full.
Wow, Jennifer, thank you for sharing such tender examples of ministering! I think what you said at the end is so, so true – although you were fully capable, your burdens were lightened and I’m sure truer, deeper connections were formed. Such a good reminder to serve even when we think others might be “fine”
Back… wow 45 years or so ago I was a single mom living in a new place, my daughter was able to go to Headstart when she was only 3, which was a blessing.
Thanksgiving was coming and I got a knock on the door with someone with a huge box of food. It was so out of nowhere, so unexpected, so humbling. And such a blessing.
I get choked up to this day for the kindness of a stranger.
Blessings!
So, so sweet Jeanne! Thank you for sharing that!
This is a topic that some of my dear friends at church have been discussing lately….how the church always “shows up with a casserole”. It is so important to minister to others with food. Food brings us together! It is a least common denominator. and it is something we can DO for others when life situations feel helpless and hopeless. The one hard part that we’ve been discussing is how we can often feel hesitant to “show up with a casserole” for the awkward times – divorce, miscarriage, incarceration…all the stuff that we want to look away from. But we still need to show up and support each other even through all that yucky stuff. Because although the “casserole” itself is quite often extremely appreciated, sometimes what is needed even more is the smiling face that is bringing the casserole!
Love this, Lisa. I’ve been trying to think of how to teach my kids more about showing up even when it’s uncomfortable and really getting down and figuratively looking people in the eye and not shying away because it might be awkward. It’s hard (even for me!) but I love what you shared. Thank you!
I’ll never forget the friend who brought me a big bag of healthy snack food right after one of my babies was born. It was the best.
There have also been many times I *wished* someone would show up on my doorstep with food and I haven’t been that lucky.
That does sound like the best (and I’m so sorry for the times no one has come…)
Soon after my dad passed away several years ago my friend, Vicky, (who also loves your blog) drove 2 hours with her family to come do whatever they could for is to show their love- her husband fixed a wobbly table, I rememeber someone scrubbed our toilet, and she brought dinner along with a few of her favorite freezer meals. Basically, they brought happiness. It still makes a tear roll down my cheek.
“they brought happiness” – gosh, I loved that, Edie. Thank you for sharing.
I did a dance with cancer earlier this year that required surgery and radiation. I’m single, so don’t have others who need to be fed, so felt like I didn’t need help from my friends and my congregation, but was humbled and grateful when they ignored my protestations and brought in food anyway. The best part of being ill was seeing how many people cared for me enough that they would go out of their way to come visit, to bring something to eat, and sometimes even to play a game. I even had friends offer to go with me to doctor appointments. They knew what I needed better than I did and I will be forever grateful for their efforts on my behalf.
Holly, I’m sorry I didn’t know about your cancer. And I’m glad those friends of yours ignored you. 🙂 Those reminders that you aren’t forgotten are such a tender mercy.
We get done with church by 11. We love to make treats, but don’t need to eat them all. The last few years we try to take a plate or two out to a family we think might need it. We also pay attention to the birthday list- we then will take treats to birthday people in my ward. I love to share treats and it helps to keep me thinner!! 😉
I love this, Lisa! Such great ideas.
I love your website for so many reasons, and this is the biggest one!! It is hard to accept help. It is easy to help and serve others, but it is hard to be the one that needs help. Two years ago, my husband was in a very serious motorcycle accident. The minute people around me knew about it, I had offers to feed my kids, clean my house (my worst nightmare!!), do my laundry, anything. It was so hard for me to accept the help. Once I realized I could do everything, be at the hospital at all times, and take care of my kids, I was able to accept some help. The accident happened one week before my son’s mission farewell. I had to let my family and ward totally take over and make that happen. It was amazing and humbling. Years ago,I had a Relief Society president kind of scold me when I was saying we didn’t need dinners brought in after I’d had a baby. She said, “If you don’t let others serve you, you are keeping them from receiving blessings!” I have never forgotten that. I still prefer to be on the giving end of ministering and serving, but I am aware of how important it is to receive and allow others to give as well. Thank you for all the wonderful things you post here! I’ll forever be a fan!
I agree with you on the cleaning house thing – totally my nightmare, too. I’ve had a few moments in my life when I’ve had to take deep breaths and just deal with it. Your RS pres’ advice is so true and a great reminder. I hope your husband is recovered from what sounds like a terrible ordeal.
Ah, Mel, what a fantastic post! Ministering through food is my favorite kind of ministering. You are such an inspiration! I appreciate you and your blog so much! ❤️
Thank you, Jacqui!
Beautiful post, Mel. And I loved the comments people made. This feels like a true community of friends opening up to one another and inspiring each other. I have a lump in my throat as I read your post and all these comments that are so positive and full of Christ-like love. Thank you for this!
I totally agree, Erin! Reading through these comments has been the best sort of inspiration for me. There are so many good people in the world.
Mel,
I too come from a long line of cooks who relish the opportunity to share our love through the foods we make. My grand mother made noodles.
My mom would attempt many culinary things, and ws successful at most. We would still eat the flops. Waste not want not you know. Haha!
My father started with popcorn and mashed potatoes and became a national pie baking champion and “King of the Kitchen” Colorado State Fair . Winning the Rosetta for 10 years straight with pies. Apple was his favorite. Too cool. He would bake anyone a pie at the slightest suggestion that they would like to have one of his creations. His pies would bring “big ” money for his churchs fundraising . He was a wonderful giver in many ways. Soups to neighbors……on and on! We competed in many Colorado State Fair competitions against each other with bragging rights on the line every time.
My sister bakes up a storm for the elderly, and caregivers. She supports the “the supporters”. Again….. too cool!
I love to can and preserve food You name it……I’ll can it. Haha. I am always on the look to perfect even the most simple recipe……I always say……”I just looooove to eat and I want it to be good” . Some of my greatest joy comes from making folks happy when they eat my food.
I believe you know that joy as well! I am always grateful to see your labor of love ………… your posts. The connection we share is understood.
It is “our” gift that we share……and that my good woman…….. is love!
Melanie Rohar
My friends call me Mel.
Dear, fellow Mel! 🙂 That’s amazing about your dad! Wow! Sounds like you have been surrounded by some amazing examples! Loved your comment so much.
Great post. You’re inspiring me to minister more which is a good thing. I would love to have a follow-up post on recipes that are good to take to families. What were meals you received that the whole family enjoyed? I always worry that little ones won’t like what I make.
I’ll get a list together!
This would be a great category under “The Best Recipe.” You will have to get right on that in all your spare time. 😉
Thank you so much for all the recipes you have shared! They help me to feed my own family at least several times a week, and that is no small thing! (Also, just yesterday I shared a batch your chewy chocolate chip cookies with the staff at my sons’ school!) Thank you!
Haha, yes! I’ll get right on that. Thanks, sweet lady!
I’m hesitant to post this but this is something I really struggle with. I don’t accept help easily, that’s a “me” problem. Also, I feel like I’m surrounded by so many picky eaters who have no problem telling me all that they don’t like. I’ve invited people to dinner who tell me (while I’m putting the food out) they hate onions then pick out every onion before ever taking a bite. I’ve brought desserts to activities where I’m asked what’s in it and I’m told all the reasons they hate blueberries, cream cheese, peanut butter, chocolate, etc. I want so bad to be the person who gives out food but I’ve had so many negative experiences that it just makes me nervous. I’m not a nervous person, I have great self confidence…except when it comes to cooking for people. Ugh, I hate it.
Emily, I think that would make ANYONE feel hesitant to use food to minister! That would be so discouraging! I think knowing the proclivities of the people around you helps give insights as to what sort of things they might need (or accept!). And honestly, it doesn’t sound like food is their thing. But don’t let it get you down, just keep food as a secret weapon tucked in the back of your mind for that tickle of thought like “I wonder if so-and-so might like some cookies?” Because maybe that day is a high confidence day needing some good food, or maybe it’s a ‘cute card non food’ day.
I’m so sorry, Emily! I think your feelings are valid! It would be difficult to be faced with those comments and NOT be affected by it. It may be ungenerous of me, but I have to say, I’m shocked that people would behave in such an ungracious manner. I think Sahara’s advice below is golden. I have no doubt that you’ll be able to use food as your “secret weapon” at some point. I’m sorry it’s been a struggle!
Beautiful post, Mel. I still remember with such gratitude the many meals that were brought to our family way back in 2003 when I had back surgery. Feeding a family is truly ministry. Thank you for enlightening your readers and giving us a gentle challenge to reach out and minister to those around us with the gift of food.
Thank you, Dani! It’s amazing how those memories stick with you.
I loved your story and there are so many wonderful comments on this thread! I seem to go through phases of bringing food to others, and I haven’t done it in a while. I made chicken soup this week and my three year old was suggesting we take it to a family who is feeling sad! That was a good reminder to me to continue to give and share because my kids notice and know that it is important to me. This fall I plan to make your caramel apples and bring them to different people!
What a sweet 3-year old! I love that…and it’s clear they were thinking that because of the example they’ve probably seen in their good momma. 🙂
My oldest child is currently serving a 18 month church mission. The first two weeks in the mission field were very hard for her as she struggled to adjust to the demands of missionary life. She was exhausted emotionally, physically, and spiritually. At the end of her second week, she and her companion were visiting an older lady. This angel on earth, when hearing that my girl was struggling, was inspired to go to her freezer and present my daughter with a jar of freezer jam. My girl was raised on freezer jam and LOVES it. When my daughter saw it, she burst into tears of gratitude. The lady literally delivered a love note from God to my missionary in the form of a jar of jam.
This is such a sweet story, Jamie! Little did that lady know the impact her freezer jam would have on your daughter who needed a reminder of God’s love so badly. Thank you for sharing!
Food has always been my love language but it’s been harder to accept it as a gift from others the last few years. We have a child with celiac and another that can’t have any dairy which means we’re very hard to cook/bake for! Even a speck of bread crumbs or flour can cause my son to have pain so it makes me nervous to accept food prepared in other people’s homes. I also used to love making bread for people especially along with a warm meal, but I can’t bake bread in my house anymore. I’m slowly learning it is better to bring something than to not bring anything at all, even if it’s not the same kind of things I used to make. Now that I am more comfortable with our new diet I have been trying to reach out again and bring people meals like I used to. I find it’s just as healing for me as it hopefully is for them. And those few people who are brave enough and kind enough to work around our issues have been very much appreciated!
Sorry this showed up as a reply to another comment, that was not on purpose! Mel, thank you for all you do! Our family is so blessed by your site!
Thanks for your comment, Sarah! I’d love your thoughts about what would be appropriate and best for your family in terms of others bringing you food. Does it help if people reach out first to ask what they can bring?
Mel – I loved this post, mostly because you are reflecting my own heart. I love having people over; spontaneously or for a planned event. It doesn’t matter the reason or the season; come on over and let’s eat! I believe ministering to others is the gift of hospitality – whether we bring covered dishes to friends who are recovering from illness or grieving; or whether we have an impromptu dinner for friends or family who need cheering up. It’s a gift, and it worthy of spiritual mention. I am sure your gift will continue to bless people in and around in for many years to come! God bless you – and keep on cooking and baking!
Thank you for sharing this, Diane! I whole heartedly agree.
Mel, Your heart is as wonderful as your food, Mel. The cheese ball story impacted my own heart profoundly. I re-told it to my family with tears streaming down my face last Christmas while we were driving around, looking at lights. And although the past few years have been tough on me physically, I’ve been more intentional about spending my time with friends and family whom I cherish. Cooking and baking bring so much joy and I’ve been pondering how I can share through food more. Thank you for sharing with kindness, love, humility and honesty. This gives me so much inspiration to share as well.
Thank you, Olive. I’ve been trying to be intentional about the same things…there’s so much inspiration in this comment thread.
I have been ministered to with food and ministered to others with food too many times to count. But, hands down, the most touching memory I have of being ministered to with food was after my young brother-in-law died of leukemia. His funeral was in the morning. We had a house FULL of extended family. Another young couple who was friends with my sister and brother-in-law prepared and brought breakfast for ALL of us the morning of the funeral. They brought an amazing array of breakfast food: muffins, an egg dish, fruit, etc. It was all delicious and SO incredibly appreciated under those circumstances.
This made me get emotional – at first just the thought of you losing your brother-in-law at a young age but then understanding what the service of that young couple meant to you and your family.
Good evening Mel –
With glassy eyes, I comment for the first time. As I enjoy you, your pics, your AMAZING recipes and your love for our father up above this post called me. I to love to cook, bake and give. I’m driven for many reason as you have your personal reasons. Giving via food in any form comes easy to me – my husband is on a cancer journey for the second time at too young of an age. Our first go around showed us as believers our social circle was way full of love, support and ways to worship than I ever knew. After winning that battle I told myself I wanted my journey to be faithful and give back in anyway I could. I knew my gift of food would help me in this journey.
Now that my hubby is on cancer journey #2 with this one being much different, my journey has be taken to the next level too. I appreciate you ever time I read your messages, I appreciate your honesty in your life and opening up to all of us your private loves and desires of your Christain faith. Your message above has helped me justify my giving of food is really a good thing and appreciated. I don’t mind the time taken to create flavorful goodness – that comes easy to me I guess. Maybe me commenting is an outlet for what I’m going through emotionally with my husband and people wanting to help us when needed. That’s a huge change for me – I normally take care of everything and do for others – and now I may need help sometime soon.
Thank you for your feelings, your honesty and especially your love of our God – he helps me make it through every day right now.
Thanks for being you!
Crissy
Oh, Crissy! What a challenging set of circumstances for you and your husband. Thank YOU for sharing your faith and love of God. How would we make it through without His love and support? I will pray for you and your husband.
I’ve never had someone bring a meal to my family. What a blessing to know people who are thoughtful enough to do so. When my third son was born, our sweet neighbor had an Edible Arrangements fruit bowl sent to our house. That was just so touching, something I’ll never forget.
This makes me want to find you (in a non-creepy way) and bring you a meal! Or some fresh baked bread!
I thought the same thing, Taytum. But what sweet neighbors, Mellie. It’s the memory of those acts of service that stick with us no matter what was given.
Feeding the hungry is one of the Seven Acts of Mercy. In my mind one of the most important,
thank you for your post. Good Job!
Feed the hungry.
Give drink to the thirsty.
Welcome the stranger.
Clothe the naked.
Visit the sick.
Visit the prisoner.
Bury the dead.
Thank you, Terri!
As I read through these comments, I have several different responses. Personally, I don’t want anybody to bring me sweets or carbs or Mexican food or pizza. I have also seen how people can be overwhelmed by food at certain times (e.g., deaths) and not be able to use it all. At the same time, I feel the love and concern that is being expressed, and that’s beautiful ….. So, my thoughts. Call your friend and ask if you can go to the grocery store for them. Have them make a list and you’ll deliver. If you have time, stay and cook a few dishes, or take their recipe home with you and cook from that. However, although I can cook, I don’t feel drawn in that direction. Instead, I have taken care of bill-paying, made phone calls, taken people to doctor’s appointments, and so on. And I believe that one of my gifts is writing. So I offer to write the announcement and obituary and whatever other writing might be required, meeting with the bereaved and talking and remembering and helping them craft something that truly represents the departed and the relationship. This is my gift and that’s what I offer.
I think that is definitely a valid point of view, Margaret! And it sounds as though the gifts you have to offer are so valid and amazing for those people you serve. It’s wonderful to know there’s room for so many different types of ministering. I appreciate your thoughts!
I remember when Oprah was still on daytime TV and she talked about this family that had quints and the women in her community rallied by doing a meal calendar and helping rock babies and she said, “Can you imagine if this happened everywhere for women?” I was a sassy teenager and was like, “Girl, you have NO IDEA what goes on around the world, so you? This isn’t a novel concept.”
When our son was born a preemie and had a month-long NICU stay, we received so many meals we ran out of freezer space. We also were gifted gift cards to restaurants around the hospital and so much more. I had never been on the receiving end before and it was HARD. But it helped me to love those people who served us because I realized we were loved by them. Not seen as pity or unable to function in our moment of hotness life.
Baking is my love language. It’s how I serve. Thanks for this post. You mail it every time. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this, Rachel! I think what you said about loving those people who served you was profound. A wonderful side effect of ministering…loved that.
I love this post. Thank you so much for sharing. I had a friend tell me that homemade bread is my love language. She is absolutely right. I’m certainly still learning how to minister, but I find it much easier to do with food in hand. Shy and private by nature, I hope my loaf of bread says what I can’t.
That is a great love language to have! Your last line gave me all the feels. I’m sure it does exactly that – bless you for getting out of your comfort zone to share those loaves of bread.
My doctor identified a wheat sensitivity three years ago. Wheat is a part of so many foods that we associate with comforting and ministering! I try to downplay my special circumstances and pass along treats brought for me to my other family members. I am so touched when people go out of their way to prepare something that I can enjoy. Recently a sweet ministering angel brought a loaf of homemade gluten-free banana bread with a flour blend she purposely bought for me. That stuff isn’t cheap(!), and this sweet act of love and kindness meant so much and drew us closer together.
I bet that gluten-free banana bread was an amazing gift. I’ve actually wondered about the homemade bread gift when so many deal with gluten allergies/sensitivities/celiac disease. I’ve tried to get that information before I drop off bread, but I definitely do feel like it is a sensitive thing and one I want to be aware of. Thanks for mentioning it – I need to remember to be aware of those work arounds!
Such a wonderful post. So often we see our friends struggling and we ask what we can do to help, which never works as rarely will someone ask for what they need. By bringing food without asking, you are saving them from having to ask. If i’m unsure about whether they will like what I bring, I get them a gc for their favorite pizza or dinner place so they can get take out. Anything so they don’t have to go the grocery store or cook. We all have those moments when we just need to be taken care of for a moment or two.
Gift cards are a great idea when you aren’t aware or sure of a specific need. Thanks for mentioning that! Even the most independent souls need taken care of once in a while, you are so right.
Oh Mel, once again you nailed it. This is such a beautiful topic, I read some comments and cried a lot because of the love people give and receive. Giving and receiving can be hard but we just need to open up more, be vulnerable, we all go thru hard times, we all need each other. Thanks for this beautiful space where so much love is shared!
I’ve cried a lot reading them, too, Jocy. There is so, so much good in this world and I feel inspired reading through this thread.
Your blog reminded me of how much a simple gesture like this means to someone. I had never had anyone bring food to my house until my first child was born 46 years ago! To this day I can tell you exactly what they brought. I didn’t know people did stuff like that! But from that day forward, I have loved sharing food with folks. It’s a great way to serve someone! One thing I’ve done is at Christmas time, I will make a large pan of lasagna and one of chicken casserole and freeze them and then give them to our pastor’s family. She loves it!
That’s amazing, Nancy – and a true testament to the power of ministering (with or without food!). I love that you still remember what they brought. Your Christmas gifts to your pastor’s family are wonderful. My dear friend is a pastor and a wife to a pastor and I know they can barely breathe during the busy Christmas season.
There is so much to love about this post! And so many thoughts running thru my mind about experiences regarding this. I think you nailed every point perfectly, right down to and ESPECIALLY the at home ministering aspect. This post exemplifies why I started following your blog many years ago, and why I continue to follow you. This is real life TRUTH going on here. I’m always checking my own motivations about the whats and whys of some of the content I view in the world of blogs and social media and you have stayed true to yourself and why you are here better than anyone else I personally engage with. You and your food always speak to my heart. AMEN is really the best comment from me. Thank You for your ability to share things in a way that really matters to people. I Love You Mel– Thank You for being YOU and for staying true to why you are here in internet land 😉
Thank you, sweet Helen!
Mel,
This post speaks to my heart Mel! I have always ministered with food. I think when the Savior said “feed my sheep”, He was speaking directly to me and have always thought He literally meant “FEED” my sheep. So like you, I try to ask who I’m suppose to serve. I admit, I don’t ask every day because that prayer is is ALWAYS answered swiftly and clearly ! The skill of cooking and baking can be learned for sure,, but some of us have an intuitive sense, and a gift when it comes to cooking and baking.. And whether cooking is learned, or comes naturally, I believe we are meant to bless others with both the physical, and spiritual nourishing of food.
Thanks for always “feeding” all of us, so we can “feed” and minister to others.
LindaT.
Linda, I’ve never met you but we’ve emailed quite a bit and I totally believe that you carry on an amazing ministry through food! I admire your innate sense and your priceless gift.
Thanks Mel! I think people who speak “food “ have a sweet connection, and an understanding of the way food blesses lives.
Our condo in New Hampshire ( or our house ) is still waiting for you and your family !!!!
Beautiful words! Beautiful family! Beautiful Mel! Thank you for taking your time to share!
Thank you, Pamela!
As a 5th grader, my Mom was in the hospital a lot, the church ladies and neighbor ladies brought us supper every other might for a long time. I needed help, and they were there. Now I take supper to new Mom’s because they need it! The food thing has been a blessing in my life both ways. I still remember the women who came with food, they helped me wash and change sheets, simple cooking lessons, and just holding us three little kids when we were scared because our Mom was in the hospital. They are all in heaven now, but some of their phone numbers are still on my phone.
I love how the taking dinner aspect has come full circle for you, Karen. The example of those women in your youth has undoubtedly impacted you forever! Your comment about those sweet women and their acts of selfless service to your family made me teary-eyed.
My dear Mel, what a precious blessing you are to all of us and so inspiring!!! You have no idea how you uplift a day and bring a smile. And with your food, it is just the icing on the cake. Thank you for being you and sharing yourself with us. Everything said is so very true here. I have discovered some people are hard to receive a gift etc. The Lord has simply told me to tell them this: “You cannot refuse my gift, because if you do, you will prevent me from my blessing, as the Lord will bless me giving.” And that is true. We all love you Mel…… Many bear hugs. Claudia
Thank you, Claudia! And I think you are right – there are blessings for both the giver and the receiver!
What a wonderful post – thank you. Your comment about ministering in-house really spoke to me. In-house is not only my adult daughters and patient husband, it’s me, too, and I haven’t done that well. I love the chance to cook for and otherwise coddle my husband and our daughters (when they are home or when I visit). Much of my work is supporting anxious parents, students, and – believe it or not – faculty who are truly worried about their students. I forgot to take care of me and have just spent the last 2 weeks on vacation puttering around the house, not speaking to anyone outside the family, cooking and doing those odd putter-y jobs like swapping out blankets and realized how drained I had become and how my giving back had become like a cookie without sugar. You are both blessed and rewarded with such a loving community.
Your comment is profound and much-needed in this discussion, I think! We cannot continue to serve outside of ourselves if we are worn down and depleted. The cookie without sugar analogy is perfect! Thank you for the reminder. I hope those two weeks were just what you needed to rejuvenate.
Love this and 100% agree it’s hard to be on the receiving end. However, I do love it! I’ve made so many friends from these random meal drop offs…
While I love love love to cook, my go-to thing to take is a potato pizza from our local pizza place (it is AMAZING…) along with some homemade rice krispis treats. Not the healthiest, but I love sharing it and the recipients always like it, too. Now I’m off to make some bread for our new neighbors. You e inspired me to branch out!
I think that sounds like a WONDERFUL meal lineup. I commented somewhere else with this thought – but I definitely don’t think there’s any less validity in taking something store- or restaurant-bought. There’s so much more to it than the actual offering. Thanks for your comment, Stacy!
This was such a sweet and heartfelt post. After I had my youngest son my visiting teacher brought me creamy chicken noodle soup and homemade rolls. I felt like Heavenly Father had just used her as His ministering angel to tell me that He loved me. I will never forget that experience.
No doubt that’s exactly what He did – and something you’ll remember forever. That’s what is so impactful reading these comments…the lasting effect of seemingly small acts of service.
Friends brought a meal and helped break up a police “random” stop leading into our neighborhood- back when the stops were barely legal. She had a sleeping child in the back seat and said “Wake my child and you may die” to the officer
I’ve thought the exact same thing about sleeping children. 🙂
LOVVVE this post, amen to it all ❤️
Thanks – this comment thread is golden with inspiration.
Like you mentioned, it’s often harder to be on the receiving end. But… It’s such a beautiful thing! Even if it’s only a sourdough starter and not the whole loaf! (Or, ahem, kefir grains).
I often get lazy about bringing or sharing with others because I feel like it has to be something 5 star and super tasty but in all honesy, I know a take-and -bake pizza does the same trick!
So, so true, Ellen! Doesn’t have to be 5 stars (but trust me, I get caught up in that trap too sometimes).
Two years ago my husband had brain surgery to take care of a massive cyst. 3 weeks later I delivered our 5th son after we kept losing his heartbeat and he came out with the cord wrapped around him, but alive! Then a few hours later I hemorrhaged and things got really scary for me. We just kept having one thing after another happen (car break down, bathroom leak, fighting insurance) and all along there were tender mercies brought to us through people ministering to us. The one that stands out the most though was after my husband had surgery on a broken foot (4months after brain surgery) he had complications in the form of a pulmonary embolism and DVT that sent us back to the ER. I sat in the parking lot with my baby(rsv season meant he couldn’t be in the hospital and we were 45 minutes from home so no one could take him) and just cried. I left my husband overnight and came home. A lady from church, who did not know we’d been at the hospital all day, showed up at my house with dinner. She said she’d made way more than they needed and didn’t really know why… divine intervention? Anyway… sorry for the novel! Keep ministering! You never know when you will be someone’s much needed tender mercy!
Taytum! Oh my heart, I literally cannot envision the utter chaos and struggles in you and your family’s life during that whole set of events. Truly it’s a testament that the old adage is true: when it rains it pours. My goodness. The thought of you bawling alone in your car with your sweet newborn has me crying, too. That woman had no idea she was such an answer to an unasked prayer. Amazing.
Love this post! It’s so very true, you connect on a deeper level with food involved. And I loved what’s your cousin-in-law said, everyone will talk to you when you show up with bread. I agree that it can be hard to be on the receiving end, I had a lady in my ward the would not take no for an answer and showed up at my house with her recipe book that she had me go through with her so that she could make us some freezer meals for after the ward was done bringing food when I was about to have my second baby. It was a bit overwhelming in the moment but I love her to pieces now and it did bond us for sure. I always get a bit of anxiety taking food to others too, I worry that they won’t like whatever I’ve made and then have to search for something different to eat last minute, etc. It’s silly but I go through it every time I take a meal in. I have to remind myself of my own experiences with receiving food and yes there have been times where we really didn’t love the food, and there have been times where we couldn’t wait to get the recipe and some of those have become staples in our house. And even the meals that we didn’t love we still appreciated them for thinking of us and wanting to help take care of our family.
Such a great example, Misty – I agree, that WOULD be overwhelming in the moment and it takes a special personality (both on the giving and receiving end) to press that hard, but I love that it forged a bond between the two of you.
Your story is truly inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing it and all of your amazing recipes. God bless.
Thank you, Kathy!
Mel,
This post speaks to my heart Mel! I have always ministered with food. I think when Christ said “feed my sheep”, I have always thought he literally meant “FEED” my sheep to ME. The skill of cooking and baking can be learned for sure,, but some of us have an intuitive sense and a gift when it comes to cooking and baking.. And whether cooking is learned, or comes naturally, I believe we are meant to bless others with both the physical and spiritual nourishing of food.
Thanks for always “feeding” all of us, so we can “feed” and minister to others.
LindaT.
Oh this post brought tears to my eyes! Like you, I’m much more comfortable helping others than accepting help. When we moved cross country earlier this year a few families provided meals for us. Those meals were a huge blessing! We could have gotten through without those meals but because we accepted we made new friends, felt the love of others, and felt at home/included in our new place. Love this post & the wise, dear man you referenced!
What you said is so, so awesome (and important) – you are right, you could have gotten by without those meals but the impact of them went far beyond just the food. I love that so much.
I am a huge believer in ministering by food. Chocolate chip cookies for the win! It just shows you care and shows love. It means a lot. It is my love language. Someone cared enough to take the time to make you something. That touches hearts. I have been both on the giving and receiving end in my life. Getting meals after having a baby is such a blessing! A plate of cookies when you are feeling down, just lifts you up. I loved this post and agree 100% with what you said. Ministering with food touches hearts and changes lives. So important!
Thank you for your thoughts, Jen! It’s the showing you care (and being on the receiving end feeling that love) that is so profound and life changing.
I have always been a “How can I help?” person until five years ago, when I was in a serious car accident on the way home from volunteering at my children’s elementary school. I was taken to the hospital via ambulance, and had a six hour surgery the following day on my elbow that was completely shattered. I’m now the owner of a bionic arm with three plates and 18 screws holding it permanently together, and am thankful every day that is wasn’t worse.
That experience was so eye opening for me. I have a very close friend who picked my kids up from school that day no questions asked, and held it together long enough to get them to my parents without showing the anxiety she felt, not knowing what was happening with me. I had another friend (an ICU nurse) who I didn’t know very well at the time show up while I was in the ER pretending to be my sister (I don’t have one) so she could get back to me and make sure I was getting the care she thought I deserved. My children go to Catholic school and we have a program called “Recognition and Support”, and the chairperson set up meals for my family starting the very day I got home from the hospital. Between that and other friends reaching out, we had a meal almost every day for three solid weeks while I recovered. Some of the people who provided homemade meals barely even knew me or my family. I had another group of friends pitch in and hire a maid to come clean my house from top to bottom. I don’t think it had been that clean since the day we moved in… she even cleaned all of the windows and blinds!
On the flip side, there were people I thought I was very close to who didn’t reach out. I will admit that this hurt and made me question things, as I am a helper by nature. I honestly assumed some of them would reach out long before other people who did, whom I weren’t as close to. I was at home with my children that entire summer because I couldn’t drive yet and could barely do any household chores including cooking. I was also undergoing grueling physical therapy every day which also hurt my mindset. After that fog cleared though, I came to realize that it had nothing to do with those people not caring, they just didn’t know how to help, or that I needed help. I am so stubborn that I NEVER would ask for help or show that I need it. When a few of them reached out and asked if they could do anything, I cheerily told them we were fine and they accepted that. I was not fine though… I just couldn’t voice what I needed or how they could help, because I didn’t know myself. I was doing them and myself a disservice.
That experience changed me. It turned me into a “doer” instead of an “asker”. I now chair the Recognition and Support committee at school and am the first to sign up to bring a meal. Through this committee, we have hopefully helped lighten the burden of countless school families, and it has been such an honor. But instead of asking a family if I can set up a meal train and help them, I gently and compassionately tell them what I would like to do for them and ask them when would be a good time. I try to anticipate people’s needs rather than ask because I know from experience that people don’t even know their own needs in times like these. I can say first hand that no good deed will go unappreciated or unrecognized in times of need by the people who need it. So be a doer; help in whatever way you feel called to help and don’t worry about it being awkward, not needed, or otherwise. And, you don’t have to be a great cook to offer someone a meal! Gift cards and meals from favorite restaurants are so appreciated as well.
My children sometimes get frustrated when they see me making a favorite meal or dessert for someone other than our family and they know they can’t have any. But I pray they remember the lesson behind the act of serving others, and learn how important showing grace is to someone who needs it. I think it is sinking in, as my daughter has renamed her favorite ham and cheese sliders to “Meal Train” sandwiches because she knows they are a favorite of families in need who have younger children. I also love to make food for people in times of joy and celebration; my kids know it is Christmas time when our house smells of sweet cinnamon when I begin baking cinnamon rolls for the neighbors. I have noticed that this is becoming somewhat of an antiquated tradition in the era of rushing around all of the time, having multiple commitments, food allergy issues, etc. but there are still other ways to show compassion in a personal and heartfelt way. I pray my children will keep this way of caring alive as they leave my home and go out on their own.
THANK YOU for this post and please excuse my novel of a comment, but this is so close to my heart and it is such a vital way of ministering to others. My mom was raised LDS and many of my family members are still active members. The way the LDS faith practices this form of ministry so very well is one of the many things I have always admired about the religion.
Side note, I would also LOVE to see a post featuring some of your go-to meals and desserts that you often take to others! My family and I are huge MKC fans and have been for many years. Some of their most beloved meals are your recipes!
Shaynee! I loved your comment. All of it. Thank you for taking the time to share. There were a lot of tidbits of wisdom to be had. First of all, I’m so sorry about your terrible accident and the horror of the recovery. I’m glad things seem to be better. I think that is phenomenal that your school has a committee in place for things like that – what a blessing! And it’s no surprise that you now chair that committee. Your comment to “be a doer” sums it up. I love it. Thank you so much for sharing (also the comment about ministering in times of joy and celebration is WONDERFUL)!
I loved this awesome message! Thank you for opening your heart and kitchen to all of us through your words. Last winter my husbands brother unexpectedly took his own life. Day after day people showed up at my in-laws house, where all the family was in town for the holidays, with food, whole meals, muffins, cakes, sandwich trays, boxes of chips, etc. some of them didn’t even say anything, they just walked in, set down the food, nodded and cried with our grieving faces and walked out. They just wanted to let us know they were there for us and food was how they showed their love. You are right, food bridges gaps and opens heart. Thank you for your corner of the world where we find good food to show our love in a better, tastier way.
Oh, Melanie, I’m so sorry about your brother-in-law and what that must have meant for your family, for the grief and sorrow and loss. I love how those sweet friends just dropped by without any fanfare and served without needing anything in return. Food DOES bridge gaps that can’t be bridged with words. Thank you for sharing.
I was pregnant and NOT feeling like cooking dinner. I texted my husband (I thought) to say, what should we do for dinner, tuna? I actually texted my friend. And she said, we have tacos can we please bring you some? Ooooops!!! I said oh I’m so sorry, we are seriously totally happy to eat tuna! She insisted and I sheepishly allowed her to bring dinner. This all happened like around 5:00 pm or something! And she was ready with dinner and a treat! It was really kind.
Haha, that’s actually quite a cute, funny story – but what an awesome friend!
I love this post! I love to cook, bake, and share. These traits I learned from my own mom who was a fantastic cook back in her healthy days. When one of us (4 children) wasn’t feeling well (either emotionally or physically) she always say, “Eat something and you’ll feel better.” Eating was only a part of it because as we ate and sat next to her, we spilled out what was happening or bothering us through a discussion with her. It took me years to figure this out. She was pretty tricky and yes, we did always feel better after that! After a bad day at work, I recently told my son, “I think more people need to eat cookies these days,” Many seem so unhappy and our world seems to be spinning out of control. Unfortunately we are constantly told that everything we once loved is BAD! I’ve learned life is too darn short. If you want a cookie, eat a cookie!
What a gem of a mom! You are right, she was a little tricky, but man, she really knew how to make that work and I love that it was through the food and the eating that the talking happened. Life is short, I agree – eat those cookies!
You are an amazing person. I found so much truth in your words about ministering through food. I love how you include in prayer who may need this ministering today. It will now be a part of my prayers and actions. Thank you
Thank you for your sweet words, Denise.
When my second child was born a friend dropped off dinner. I didn’t know this was a thing. But from where she came from, it was often done. Over 20 years later and I make sure to bring dinner to a family with a new baby… Whether their first or fifth!
I love that the example of your friend has impacted your actions all these years later. You are amazing!
This post touched me so much as our family has just entered a new phase of life that I did not expect, but now I am “expecting” my seventh child. My neighbor showed up at my door soup the other day before she even knew and the soup and thought brought so much peace to my heart. And it hits home to me so much as my own mother and grandmother have ministered to many, many people through food, especially their children and grandchildren. And countless people have done the same to my family through the years and I have tried to carry on the maternal example I have had. As mothers and women, it is natural to minister and through food. Thank you for your amazing resources of phenomenal recipes and keeping life real. I honestly look forward to every one of your posts. You have definitely ministered to me and mine and will continue to for many years, I’m sure. ❤️
Thank you so much for your kindness, Jennifer! And good luck as you enter this unexpected phase. That 7th little babe must know what a great mom you are and is anxious to join your family. 🙂
A few weeks ago my minister came for a visit and we talked a little about how crazy my schedule is during the week. I specifically said how on Thursdays if I don’t make dinner early in the day, it won’t happen. Of course I wasn’t telling her that for her to feel sorry for me, but a few days later when I finished teaching one of my music classes, there was a tub of soup and a plate of cookies with a note saying it was for my busy Thursday. It meant SO much to me and allowed me to get something else done in the morning that day instead of prepping a meal. I was so grateful!
Oh my goodness, I love this so much! What a sweet, sweet friend who picked up on an innocent comment and then ran with it (without wanting a lot of attention – just the ol’ drop and run approach!)
I started off with not fulling understanding as to why do I need to cook a meal for someone? I refused meals for my 2nd born child. Then when my 3rd came along I had a friend that wouldn’t take No as an answer. She lined up meals for the whole week! This changed how I looked at it, and never refused a meal again. I was asked several times but I never had enough food or confidence in myself to be able to cook something that someone would like. Finally I change how I looked at that too. Now I’m blessing people with meals, or just simple bag of cookies or a small load of bread. Even my neighbors who needed a meal after having a baby. Now I bake and share what ever it is. I love their faces of gratitude, of feeling loved, the happiness it brings to them, because of sharing my talents I’m able to bring happiness to my family and others. Plus you get to taste new things which is always good.
Thank you for sharing how your outlook on this has changed, Brandy! I really appreciated reading that and thinking about it that way.
I’ve been on the receiving end of food ministry mostly (especially since my cooking abilities are plain bad, at best). When my husband and I became instant parents thanks to the wonderful world that is adoption, my family and friends – and even friends of friends who knew of our situation – showed up with frozen dinners, casseroles, burritos, and even a pie while we were adjusting to our new family. What’s truly amazing is that they all did it again, 18 months later, when we found ourselves on the other end of “the call” again! I have always been grateful to everyone who showed us so much love.
Wow, Christie – how amazing that you are surrounded by such supportive family and friends. I loved that (and I’m guessing they would do it time and time again!).
LOVE this! Thank you for sharing and bringing memories! I love the spontaneous “you were on my mind” gifts of food, chocolate or even a new grocery store find.
I love those spontaneous gifts, too – so fun!
I’ve spent over an hour reading your post and all the comments…all through teary eyes of course! What a beautiful post from the heart. I love your emails and the recipes, oh my, I have many memorized! When I was going through chemo and radiation, I was just too tired to do my favorite fall decorating with pumpkins, mums, corn stalks, etc. I woke up one morning and opened up the front door to let the dogs out…my whole front porch was just stunningly decorated, far beyond what I ever did…my wonderful bible study group, got up extremely early that morning and did it all for me and left a beautiful basket of breads, jams, etc for us….caring is sharing and sharing is caring!!! I have several divorced friends, that just don’t cook for one….so whatever I’m making, I double or triple it and package it up and pass it on…those burritos are on the list to make this weekend to share…Mel, you are terrific and know that there are SO MANY of us that just look forward to hearing from you every week!!! Blessings to you, your family and to good health for us all going forward!!
I’ve gotten quite teary-eyed reading through the comments, too, Judi! And then I read your sweet account of your decorated porch and got weepy again. What an overwhelmingly kind gesture. I love that so much. And look at you sharing your meals with your single friends. What an awesome way to serve them through genuine friendship! Thank you for sharing.
This post made me cry as the spirit testified I’d the many, many times I have been blessed and ministered to by the kindness of sharing food. Sometimes it’s been a simple “I’m at the store, so you need anything?” to more complex dinners and desserts, but always the same, I feel the love my Heavenly Father has for me as His children act on His will.
Recently at the back is the Ensign magazine (yes, I totally read the back of this first haha), there was an article about Birthday Lasagna. Read it- you’ll cry. Anyway, I had my own “birthday lasagna” experiences recently as I had a miscarriage and saw the beauty of tender mercies come forth. A friend made me spaghetti, something I was actually totally craving, as I went through a difficult time. Another friend brought chocolate, and a sweet neighbor girl of 9 years old brought brownies. It was incredibly sweet and personal. Food connects us all! Thanks for sharing this post to remind me of the simple good I CAN do with a small plate of cookies.
Ok, I’m off to read that article.
I like this. I have been both on the giving and receiving end of food and both sides have blessed me. There is something about food. I sometimes fuss because it seems like we can’t have an extracurricular church activity without food but in reality I think food is what can bind us together. I know that’s a little different than taking a meal to someone but I think it can still fall under the ministering category.
I totally agree with you!
Mel…thank you! I love and need this…it is so true! my life would be so much less without you in it! Love you so much!
Yes to all of this, Mel! Sometimes I wonder whether it really make a difference to minister this way and then I find myself on the receiving end and realize what a gift food really is, both to give and receive! Thanks for the encouragement!
Thank you, sweet ladies! Jo, you are right – it really is a gift! I have to remind myself of that often.
I was having a really rough time with my last pregnancy. I felt alone and forgotten, but a wonderful woman in my ward showed up with a loaf of homemade bread. I’ve had many experiences with ministering with food (both giving and receiving), but this one really stands out.
I think what you said is what makes me feel like ministering through food is so important – reaching out to those who feel lonely and “forgotten” Those are feelings no one should have to bear for long.
I have always loved to minister to friends and family through food. Baking is my favorite thing to do, so I often will take bread around to people that pop into my head.. hoping that it can make a difference in their day. It has been a while since I’ve done it, so I should get back on that train. But it always brings me a lot of peace and happiness to take food and baked goods to others.
Love this, Erin!
I can still remember the meals and who cooked them and how wonderful they tasted when friends blessed us after the birth of our first. And who brought food after the death of a family member. It does strike deep.
Yes! I agree – those memories do embed themselves pretty deep and I’m so grateful for that.
I was just thinking about this the other day as I was delivering a meal to a family. Sometimes I feel like making food is the only thing I know how to do to help people. I’m not good at organizing big events, or offering sage advice, or doing the million other things that people might need. But I CAN cook, and I love to do it, and I figure, if this is my gift, then I’ll use it as my small offering to bless other people. Thanks for your always wonderful words (and recipes)!
Take that gift and run with it! You are right – there are so many others who are blessed with amazing gifts, too. It really does take a whole army of ministering “gift” givers to fulfill the act of serving others.
This summer my mom died. She had cancer, so we knew she was going, but it all happened so fast. Her doctor told us six months. The next week her hospice nurse said less than a week. My little family was racing down to be with her and she passed away just moments before I got there. Needless to say I was in shock and completely devastated. After driving home the next day I saw my best friend waiting in her driveway (she lives right next door to me.) She hugged me and comforted me and soon some of my other friends were there as well. They brought pizza and cookie dough and they cleaned my house while I rested. I will remember that day with awe and gratitude and tears for the rest of my life.
Joanne, my heart breaks that your sweet mom passed away before you could get there. I can’t imagine the level of sorrow you must have felt. Your friends are true angels.
Food is such a tangible way of loving (and being loved by) our neighbors! You don’t have to be a good cook to minister this way either- my boys’ favorite meal after our daughter was born was when a friend who worked at Chick-fil-A brought a big tray of nuggets with all the dipping sauces!
Mel, I would love for you to do a post on your favorite meals to take to people!
I’ll definitely get a post like that put together!
Hey Mel……..beautiful post today. For me, I guess it comes down to food being a universal way to say that I thought enough of you to take the time to make something with my own two hands that can nourish you in hopefully more ways than one. The act of offering ones thoughts and feelings through food is a timeless tradition that is sorely missed these days. I had an annual doctor’s appointment last week and baked some cookies to bring in for the staff to share. The very first comment I heard from one nurse was, “Nobody ever does this anymore.” The next comment was, “How sweet of you to think of us.” I say let’s keep the tradition alive……..one small gesture at a time.
Vicki – you put into words what I should have said! I love those first few lines of your comment. I’m with you – let’s keep that alive! It doesn’t take a lot of effort but the effect is far reaching.
Mel,
This is me, I minister through food! Because when you’re in that busy stage of life with kids, bringing in a meal, or sweets is the way you can serve. Besides it making someone else’s day, and hopefully taking a small load off of someone’s plate, it somehow always ends up making my day better too!
I totally agree with this! I always feel so much happier than I did before.
Thank you for this post. I have been blessed by the service of others so many times in my life! It isn’t always through food, but it’s almost always through someone acting on a thought to do good. Sometimes it’s a text, or a card in the mail, once it was an “unbirthday bag” of goodies, it has often been someone watching my kids when I couldn’t, and it has also often been through food. The most dramatic example was when I was pregnant with a child who had a congenital heart defect. I was in and out of the hospital often and I wasn’t sure what the future held for her. And it was hard to take care of my toddler. I knew we were in for a long haul once this baby was born. But with all of the stresses and worries I honesty felt most worried about food. Crazy! I know!! I just remember talking to my husband and being filled with anxiety about “how are we going to have family dinners?” I felt like I had to try to make tons of freezer meals that we could take with us to the hospital after she was born. But I had so many appointments and I easily had contractions and I felt frustrated and discouraged – I wanted to have control over food at least and realized that even that I couldn’t control. And then one day I opened the door to a delivery of frozen meals. My cousin in Utah had felt a nudge to send frozen meals to me. I’m in Texas. Undeterred, she found a company that delivered frozen meals and bought some for them to deliver. I seriously cried tears of joy and gratitude as I felt the Lord delivering a personal message to me that He knew my joys and sorrows, my tears, my fears, my hopes, and my gratitude. And He even cared about the little things that are important to ME. Even if they seem so inconsequential. It was another reassurance (I had several) I needed to completely trust Him and know that He was watching over my family and somehow some way it would all be ok.
Trish, I just want to reach out and give you the hugest virtual hug. Thanks for sharing this! I, too, have been in critical times of my life and have also panicked about family dinners and food and things that probably shouldn’t have been on the forefront of my “control” list but they are. I cried reading about your cousin who sent you those frozen meals – not necessarily because of the meals (even though, whoa, what a kindness) but because of your sentiments after that the Lord was giving you the knowledge that He knows you and cares about ALL the things. I needed that reminder today. Thank you.
This is beautiful, Mel. Thank you for sharing 🙂 I just endured an incredibly rough first trimester where the ONLY thing that sounded remotely edible was homemade bread. My dear, wonderful neighbor supplied me with many loaves and kept me alive for 3 months. I will never forget that.
Your neighbor sounds like an angel. What a blessing.
Hi Mel!!
YES!! Food is the best! Our moms club does a meal train for our new moms, and getting those meals was the best thing ever. I pay it forward to all the new moms whenever I can!
On a separate note I just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you for the time and effort you put into this website, and creating your recipes. My husband is the natural cook in our family, and one of those that can easily “whip something up” no matter what is in our fridge and pantry.
When I became a stay at home mom, I agreed to take over the dinner cooking because that just made sense since I was home. But I have never felt comfortable with cooking and very much need a detailed and non complicated recipe to follow. I would spend hours on Pinterest meal planning and trying to find recipes that seemed easy enough for me…. some would turn out okay and some wouldn’t. At some point I stumbled onto your site. I wish I could remember what the first recipe was, but I know it was good! And then I tried another from your site and another. And now if I’m thinking of making something I always check to see if you have a recipe first. I even got super brave and made your rustic bread… I can’t tell you the last time I felt that proud! Sorry this is so long…. I’ve just been thinking these thoughts for awhile and thought you should know your name is well-known in our house and my husband and I are both super grateful for you (the kids are still coming around)!
Brittany! What a sweet comment. Thank you! And girl, WAY TO GO on that rustic bread. I am so, so proud of you.
Dear Melanie,
Thank you for your thoughts and wonderfully crafted message. I agree whole heartedly that ministering through food is one of my favorite ways to minister.
You are a wonderful example of doing so. I didn’t realize the challenges you’ve personally been through. Being served is a mixed bag when you’ve always been the one to serve others.
Blessing to you sweet dear.
Thank you, sweet Pennie!
What a beautiful testimony. Here is mine. As a new mom of a very tiny baby after an emergency C-Section a dear friend from church said can we bring dinner. At first I said no and she explained to me that this is what we do! And can I say the meals and prayers were amazing! With baby #2 we were in a neighborhood with a large play group as well as mom’s group from church. I gladly accepted dinner and prayers as I chased a toddler and recovered from another C-section. And in return I cooked and baked for others who had babies or had surgery. This week I was able to cook for a dear dear friend who very suddenly lost her mom last week. I was so happy to know here family would be fed several meals and just be able to grieve and do what needed to be done without worry of cooking. Today there is butter on the counter softening because college break is this weekend and not even my kids but they are coming home as freshman after being away for the first time from their normal life. The fact that I can whip up a batch of Triple Chip Cookies! Makes me smile. And the hugs will be the best thank you ever. Thank you for sharing from the heart and helping us make yummy creations to minister to others.
Thank you for sharing, Helen! From reading all these comments, the thing I love most is how this serving (sometimes through food, sometimes not) comes full circle. Bless you for continuing the service.
Amen, Mel! I have 4 kids and was on bedrest for 5 months during my last pregnancy, plus another 6 weeks after because of complications with the delivery. I’m sure you can picture 3 little boys, 5 and under, running around while Mommy “rests.” Friends brought us meals for weeks on end, and one dear friend made dinner every Tuesday for us for 5 months! Six years later, when I was diagnosed with cancer, they did it all over again. I can never repay the debt to those saints who blessed us over and over, but I will always remember their kindness, especially whenever I have a chance to bless someone in that tangible way.
Oh dear, Jennifer, I CAN picture that and the image has me alternately laughing and cringing! I’m so sorry for the trials you have faced – it sounds like you are surrounded by an army of angels, and I have no doubt you are picking up where they left off to serve others.
Thanks for your post Mel. When we were young we were close friends with three other couples. As the years passed our families grew up, then two of the couples retired & moved far away. My dear friend who still lived nearby developed cancer. I knew if the other two gals were close they also would want to take dinners in, but they were not. So I took dinner to my friend once a week for several months before a God took her home. I always felt I was doing the kindness not only from myself, but from the other two friends as well. We are blessed to have friendships that have lasted more than 50 years, even tho we are scattered now!
I have been on the receiving end several times through the years and always am so thankful. I try to take food whenever a friend has lost a loved one, and when friends are ill. It’s just the right thing to do…and that’s how I wa
Chali – your comment was so heartfelt and so precious. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend, but what a blessing you were, undoubtedly, in her life until she passed away. I love how you viewed it as an act of service from you and your other friends who couldn’t be there. What an amazingly beautiful long lasting friendship.
This made me a bit weepy. There are so many good people in the world and I want to be on their team. You are on their team, Mel! Thanks for sharing.
I totally agree, Lindsay! So inspired reading these comments. So, so inspired.
Mel, I can totally relate to everything you’ve expressed here! There was a time in my life when I had to be on the receiving end of others ministering to our family… it was SO hard! However, I knew that my family was being taken care of through the kind acts of others, which included food and cleaning my house for about 2 months! I will forever remember their kindness and have been on their end of giving countless times throughout my life, for which I am grateful for as well.
Another wise man said, “God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs.” SWK… one of my favorite quotes.
Food does form bonds that seem to be unbreakable! I brought homemade banana bread to a friend that I ministered to. To this day she remembers me for that banana bread and makes it herself all the time. That was over 25 years ago! Along with that I remember who brought it to me when our first child was born 40 years ago! I even got in contact with her not too long ago through Facebook.
Food can work wonders. I think it’s one of the reasons I love your blog. You have recipes that are real for family life and for ministering to others around you. Thank you!!!
Thank you for sharing, Sandy! Loved every word of it. It’s amazing to still be able to remember those ministering/food memories decades later. Love all of this so much.
December 30 2018 I lost my husband of 50 years. Just 2 weeks shy of 51. He was my first date, at 14, my first kiss and my only love. He struggled with health problems for many years. After he was gone, I was so lost. Couldn’t eat, what was the point, didn’t want or know how to cook for one. I missed him terribly, still do. But every once in a while someone would ring my doorbell and say, I had this much soup left over. Enough for you, but not a family. My Bishop and his wife came one night and had been to my favorite restaurant and had a take home box that they left for me.
But the thing that has meant the most to me is my son, daughter in law and two grandkids asked me to plan on Sunday dinner at their home each week. I am assigned dessert each week.
Young Women groups have come to visit and leave cookies, neighbors have made mini loaves of banana bread or pumpkin bread. It means so much to know that my world has not really ended, that someone remembers I am still here.,
Meriam – thank you for sharing such tender feelings. My heart aches for your loss and your loneliness, but what you said speaks volumes and is a true testament of why all this matters – because it’s allowing the person being served to remember they are not alone, that they are still needed, and that they are cared about. I am so glad you are surrounded by angels.
Absolutely 100% agree with you. When my Dad passed away suddenly a friend brought a blueberry crumble pie and I ate half of it alone for breakfast. It was such comfort food. Thank you for sharing your recipes!
Comfort foods have a way of healing, for sure. Thank you, Jana!
I have been blessed by friends who have given me meals when needed, and I love to cook for people. I am in a season where I barely feel like I have time to cook complete meals for my family more than a couple of days per week. In addition, I used to be able to easily double a recipe – Our family could eat one portion over one or even two meals and then I could give one away. Now, I often have to double a recipe just to feed my family for one night. I loved the freezer burrito recipe you recently posted. I quickly gave one batch to a friend I’d been wanting to cook for and hadn’t found time. I love that I have more for my family or to share. I would love for you to post more recipes that are freezer friendly so that I can respond quickly to needs.
Oh Mel, just when I think I could not love you more you post something like this!! This REALLY resonates with me. I can remember a few different times where food was part of being ministered to one time was when I was postpartum and having a gnarly recovery and a close friend brought me your freezer burritos and your recipe for quick blender salsa and it was the best thing I’d ever eaten and a huge relief to me and the handful of people who were helping care for me. A bit after that period a woman in my neighborhood I didn’t know well delivered a loaf of her family’s famous quick bread recipe which was like you said an amazing gateway. The bread wasn’t even a combination that our family really liked but this woman had a special spiritual gift and shared some really impactful insight with me and delivering that loaf of bread was avenue with which she had the opportunity to be an answer to my prayer. God works in mysterious ways and considering we need to eat multiple times a day it seems likely that He can often work through opportunities to share food with one another.
Thanks for all you do here. We love your recipes and I love when you take the time to share more of yourself like this. It feels like I get a chance to have a good conversation with a friend when those opportunities are few and far between right now.
Miranda – love what you shared! And this comment thread has been exactly how you described – a way for me to feel as though I’m having some heart to heart chats with people I love best. That’s probably kind of messed up since I don’t know many of you in real life, but man, I sure appreciate you. It’s so true what you said – it’s not necessarily always about the food. Instead it’s everything that comes along with it which is different in every situation. But reading here how so many people have formed long lasting bonds with those new, maybe even kind of awkward encounters is inspiring.
Thank you, Kelley! I’ll definitely try to post more freezer friendly recipes!
Mel, I so agree! Growing up, my parents got divorced and friends would bring meals for us when my mom was in some dark days. Sometimes they literally left groceries for us because that’s what we needed. Fast forward to having two sets of twins in two years, and someone could have dropped off Cheerios in a bowl with some milk and I’d have been delirious with joy! People did so much more than Cheerios of course, with meals for a couple of months at a time. Bring home bound more often than I wanted – with all those nap schedules to keep – I realized that my gift of help and ministering to others was to make meals for them. I couldn’t keep their kids, or clean their house, or move boxes in that season of life, but I could double what I was cooking and make desserts (almost all exclusively from your site!) after babies were sleeping. It was and is such a huge gift (and yes, hard to receive) when people brought us food. I love doing that for others, and I’ve found it’s a great way to make a connection with new folks or those whom I didn’t know well before that meal drop off. Thanks for sharing from the heart! I’m with you! ❤️
Haha, Lynn – you made me laugh with your cheerios comment even though I’m sure it was all too true! Two sets of twins in two years. That makes me tired just thinking about it. I love that you were able to identify how to share the gift of food with others in a busy, busy season of your own life.
In the folder of emails I receive daily, whether craft blogs, health blogs, school information, recipes, etc., this one really moved and inspired me. Thank you for sharing the thoughts in your heart. I was born and raised in the church, but I no longer attend because at least here in the South, church seems to have become synonymous with socioeconomic status and insincerity. But one of the loves I have always kept with me is the act of service, genuine service, do-it-from-your-heart type of service. I suppose calling it ministry is appropriate. Having always believed our greatest treasure is in giving, I too am big into the bread (your recipe) baking, just because, or feeding my hungry students in high school as a treat. I can certainly relate to the kindness of others during surgeries as I had five in a row two years ago and I have six children. It doesn’t take much to be a good human being. Anyway, thanks for your positive thoughts and your wonderful recipes. Bravo!
Thank you for sharing, Helen! Thank you so much. What you said about our greatest treasure is in giving really resonated with me. You are wonderful. Thank you!
Food is my love language. I love to show my love by baking or cooking for others. Because of this, many comment to me that they’re not good enough bakers, cooks to share with me and my family. Having said that, after staying with my siblings by our moms side at the hospital for five days before she passed away…we all returned to my home to find a complete dinner waiting for us including the best homemade rolls we had ever eaten. We hadn’t asked for help, my friends served us the best way they knew how at that difficult time and that was by bringing us dinner. Those friends didn’t know my mom had passed. They were inspired to go and do and because of that, their service as well as that meal was the first taste of healing after such a sudden loss!
Thank you for sharing that, Kristie! How amazing to have such in tune friends during such a difficult time.
After having a babies or after the loss of a loved one-friends and church family have brought meals. I like to randomly drop a favorite coffee drink off at other mom friends houses with a note and text them as I drive off. I know we are all busy but here’s a cup to help you through the day (I make a note of their favorite style of drink and get that when I’ve got gift cards or a free drink points).
I’ll say this- we just moved across the country and landed in a new to us house. We’ve got little kids and out of state license plates, only a couple of neighbors have briefly said hello and introduced themselves, not come over to chat or play when we are out- and none, not one, has brought a treat or meal over to say hello and welcome. We moved to the south and I was excited for southern hospitality but it’s not happening and I’ve told my husband it hurts a bit. Clearly being new to the area and no one saying “welcome!” And ultimately it has convicted me to keep an eye out for the other new families that are certain to move in near us one day and take something over to say “welcome!” Even if we don’t get to talk long because just knowing someone sees you means so much when you’re the new family on the block.
I think that is so awesome that you make note of your friends’ favorite drinks and use that as a way to serve. Love that so much! I need to do better at that. I’m so sorry that your welcome has been less than enthusiastic. Such a bummer! You will undoubtedly be an answer to someone else’s loneliness or prayers as you look for those ways to reach out to new neighbors. You’re amazing. Keep it up!
Love this post Mel because it rings so true to my heart! I love to minister through food, in fact that’s how I’ve done it for as long as I can remember! Every sister I’ve ever visited/ministered to has loved being on the receiving end of my treats/meals. And of course, I love when I’m on the receiving end. Who wouldn’t, right?! ❤️
So true!
Mel, you are such a blessing to so many. I love to minister with food, and I’ve often had the thought that maybe it doesn’t count, maybe it’s not real ministering. This post has reminded me who those thoughts come from, and that they are not true. Food is my favorite way to show my love for someone. It is kind and it is giving and it is generous, and gosh darn it, I’m going to keep doing it and doing better. For the last few months I’ve struggled at how much ministering has been required of me and my family. My husband is also the Bishop and it’s a heavy load sometimes. This past month or so I’ve felt such a transformation in my view about this. We are incredibly blessed and it’s wonderful to be in a season of giving, loving, and ministering. I’m repenting and doing better! This morning I had the thought to make cookies for a person in my ward. After crying through this post (good tears!), I’m going to get right on that.
You are right, Madison – those thoughts have no value, and I’m glad you realize that because I have no doubt you are doing amazing things as you minister with (or without) food! Thank you for helping me also change my perspective on this, too. I needed your words and appreciate them so much!
I think it is so important to find ways to minister to others and love that you emphasized ministering to your own family. My favorite example of this was when I was first married and still in college. It was finals week and for one of my final presentations, I had to make a lot of cookies—some with extra salt in them—for a demonstration for the class. I finished a final for a different class late one night and started walking home, discouraged that when I got home I would need to start making the salty cookies for my class the next day. As I walked up to my house, I looked through the kitchen window and say my husband whistling and making cookies. I cried. He was aware of me and, even though he also had a busy day of finals, chose to lighten my load. A great example to me that even though we may be busy, we can make time to minister.
Mari – of all the amazing comments I’ve read in the last couple hours, this one just struck me as so sweet and tender. Thank you for sharing!
Mel, I loved this share today! I am in the process of trying to get a group of women in our very small church to start this type of ministry. I watched my mother and MIL do these types of things and immediately always think of the foods or dinners I could make to bless a woman who is struggling with issues like this and help her feed her family as she goes through trials and tribulations. I’m an 18 year cancer survivor myself and was in a huge church during that crises and not one person offered me this service. It would have helped me out so much during that bilateral mastectomy, reconstruction and getting back to work. I learned that during that time I had to ASK those who said, “How can I help?” They truly wanted to do something but didn’t know what to do. I never asked for “meals” but I did allow others to help and I believe they were blessed by the helping. I am always the STRONG woman who helps others but I was really struggling at that time. The takeaway for me is that I know it is a help if you can do this for others — be a treat, a meal, a loaf of bread — whatever! This makes me certain that now I really need to pitch this idea to my women’s group because I have always thought it odd we didn’t do this. Thanks for the push — You were God’s nudge to me today!
Your comment is invaluable and so insightful, Tami. Thank you! I hope you are able to get this off the ground with the women at your church. I love the idea and I hope you’ll keep me posted!
I have a dear friend who will turn 100 in two weeks! Whenever I make soup, spaghetti or shrimp (her favorites), she always love when I share. It brings me pleasure and nourishes her at the same time. Just a simple way to show her I love her!
This made me smile, Eleanor!
Mel, Thank you for sharing. I feel the same as you. Over the years much help & Ministering from others has come my way. I try to do my best also.
Keep up the great work you do.
Thank you, Jeanene!
Our church sets up meal trains for families who have new/newly adopted children, as well as for post surgery. Having those meals brought over after family was gone and we were struggling with a new baby and no sleep… that was amazing! My favourite thing to bring is a container of homemade spaghetti sauce (my recipe makes a lot!!), along with a box of spaghetti, a salad kit, a loaf of French bread, and a plate of brownies or banana bread. We have also done chili and a frozen pasta casserole. Sometimes just knowing you can pull something out and have very little prep or thought of supper really helps. Do you have a section in your recipe search for easily shareable meals?
Thanks for sharing today!
Your spaghetti “kit” is brilliant! I love that idea! I’m going to get a post/section up with some great take-in meals as it seems like we could all use a little inspiration on the matter! 🙂
Precious post and oh so true! Truly appreciate the encouragement to think beyond “new baby” and funerals as opportunities to minister through food. And yes, many times the food opens doors to other opportunities to minister.
A couple of years after my last baby was born, I found myself taking meals to many people – illness, new baby, moving, you name it! For one stretch of several months, I was taking at least one meal a week! That was such a financial stretch for our young family of six during the worst of the Great Recession, when my own husband had taken a pay cut. I found myself selfishly thinking, “when am I ever going to reap any of this?! I’m not having babies anymore.” That’s when I realized my heart was in the wrong place.
Then, a year or so later, a huge health crisis landed me in the hospital for ten days. I couldn’t drive for six weeks. Outpatient therapy continued for four months. As a homeschooling mom of four school aged kids all under age 12, that time period was HARD. But
we were blessedly overwhelmed and sustained by the ministry of food!! I could not stand longer than 10 minutes and required a walker. Cooking for my family was not possible. People from church, husband’s work, and a few nearby family kept us fed for four straight months!!! For much of that time, I was too weak to even organize who came when – someone else took care of it.
My children will never forget all those precious meals and the kindness and generosity of all those people! When my husband recently considered an offer to change work departments, our kids’ first response was “will they take care of us if Mom gets sick again?” Not exactly the kind of measuring stick used to evaluate the corporate work environment, but absolutely precious!
Now I am fully recovered and we enjoy sharing with others when needed. Your post inspired me to pray that God will show me when to minister even if not so “obviously” needed. Thank you!!
Loved, loved, loved your comment! I am so sorry for that tough, tough period you went through (hard to even fathom) but what a miracle of meals (and I’m sure more) that you received! Honestly, four months…that is remarkable. It’s interesting reading all these comments and seeing many, many people state the same thing…that basically the giving and receiving does end up coming full circle. I just love that and it gives me hope and inspiration in those times when ministering feels like a burden.
Beautiful post and discussion. I also minister through food and have also been on the receiving end many, many times. Times that come to mind are when sisters met cravings I had that they didn’t even know about. We can do so much good when we seek and follow inspiration. I will never forget a sister who took my toddler to her house to play for the morning so I could rest with my newborn fifth baby while the other children were at school. She brought my toddler back with a giant piece of carrot cake for me-that I had been craving. Another sister brought a ham and pineapple pizza, also meeting a craving.
This fifth baby was due at Thanksgiving. I had a turkey in the freezer but I just could not wrap my head around doing a Thanksgiving dinner. I was exhausted and anemic. My ministering sister called and invited our family for Thanksgiving dinner, saving me the work and effort that I just could not do. I was in early stages of labor by the time we went for that dinner. I had offered to bring a dessert and I was really craving pistachio salad but it felt overwhelming to make happen. She did not know this but pistachio salad was served at that dinner. These sisters exemplify service and ministering and acting on inspiration. Thanks for a great discussion and so many delicious recipes, Mel. I recommend you to everyone.
Wow!! Those answers to cravings (and prayers) are amazing! I loved reading that. Thank you for sharing!
I echo so much of what you wrote. I lost my mom to cancer a month before my daughter was born and my dad to cancer two years later. Meals sustained my family on so many days when I could not. And I am overwhelmed at the beautiful community that lived into us well. But rewind 12 years and I was a newly married newcomer to a small town community just trying to find a place that fit. I decided to do that through cheesecake. I wanted to learn how to make it but goodness knows I couldn’t start a two cheesecake a week diet! So I began introducing myself and family to neighbors a few (subpar) slices of cheesecake at a time. As my baking improved so did the friendships that car along with it. Food can be a powerful communicator, a bridge to cultures, and just a gift.
I’m loving that cheesecake initiative that both allowed you to serve others and also perfected your cheesecake talent!!
Thank you for your post! I, like many others, cried as I read your post. You are a inspiration. The transparency and faith. Thank you.
Thank you, sweet Traci.
Yes! One year my dad had been without a job for too long and my independent mother struggled accepting any help yet someone who knew all that left baskets full of delicious food for us near Christmas time and it impacted me forever.
I’ve shared MANY of your recipes with my friends through ministering to them with food, most recently your chicken tortilla soup last week.
Thank you for enabling me in so many ways to spread the love in the world. I especially appreciate you using your website to post about it. I loved reading this!
Thank you for sharing that, Maria!
I have been thinking about these exact same things! I love your blog Mel- and go crazy anytime you post a new dessert until I can make it and take it to someone and share some love. I love to minister to others, with or without food. My husband also has a heavy and time consuming calling and we recently welcomed a new baby into our home. I was overwhelmed after our baby came at all those that wanted to bring treats and meals. My initial thought was, “We are fine- I’ve got a freezer full of meals I’ve prepped for our family or my kids can be picky eaters with other people’s food.” I had the though, “Let people love you.” I love to love others by caring for them, but often find myself resisting the same kind of love. I decided to accept ALL the love those around me wanted to share and result was amazing. I felt so cared about and support. I loved how you said that minister is not suppose to be one-sided- we need to allow others to minister to us. Thanks for you thoughts!!
I think what you mentioned is an important, and actually quite hard, aspect of all this. Sometimes maybe we really don’t need more food or meals or whatever. And I don’t think it’s wrong to be up front and let people know that, but I also loved your sentiment of “let people love you” – so important.
I grew up and remain intensely southern. Food was the language for love, sorrow, heartbreak and joy, Around the food-laden tables of my life. I have learned compassion, gentleness, spiritual generosity and the biggest attribute to me: a willing heart. My personal testimony to my friends and family is “I will…” whatever they need, whenever they need it. And to God, my deepest commitment is “I will.” Without question or argument, yes, I will. Life is tough but I am tougher. And when I need to get up for the next fight, it is my girl friends that put me on my feet. Prayers for your sweet journey.
I will. So simple. So profound. Thank you for sharing that, Susan. Thank you so much.
Oh my goodness! Amen! I feel the same way! So many stories of people ministering to me and where I’ve been able to help others with food. The first one that popped in my head though was a time I was feeling very lonely and probably having a pity party. I told my husband I felt like no one ever brought me a little treat, when food is definitely a way I show my love. Within a few hours, a friend brought over the best banana bread just out of the blue! I cried! Heavenly Father knows our hearts. I’m grateful for angels who have ministered to me AND those I’ve been able to help!
Thanks for sharing this today.
Thank YOU for sharing, Bonnie.
Mel, you are brave and thoughtful and awesome. Thanks for sharing your faith (in action). You inspire me to be brave and thoughtful and awesome too.
Thank you, sweet Jan.
I just cried and cried reading your post because it resonated so deeply with me. The last few years have been so full of people ministering to our family with food from babies, deaths, random I’m thinking about you, and currently surgery for me. And when you said that you want to think your family is fine and have people minister to others that need it more, but then think maybe we actually do need it. It was what I have always thought but could never articulate. Thank you for these good and true words.
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Jessica – and much love to you through these trials you are facing. It’s so hard to be on the receiving end…but I’ve learned to tell myself that for every service given to me and my family, it allows me to open my heart and pay it forward to someone else even if that may be far in the future.
I almost could have written this myself. The first time I was ministered to through food was when I was a very young first time mom with a new baby. Those hot delicious dinners changed my life! The impact that service had on me has been immeasurable and altered the course of my life. I love to be on the giving end and am humbled and grateful when I’ve been on the receiving end. Love this, love you. Just yesterday I finally made a huge batch of those burritos you posted because there have been many families on my mind and how easy to bring some over with some cookies and lighten someone’s load just a little and let them know they’re loved. Thank you for all you do, Mel. ♥️
Thank you, Holly!!
Thank you for sharing and for your example Mel!I started baking cupcakes to make some extra money a few years back and almost always I’d have extras. In the beginning I’d offer the extras to my young children(I too have 5) but then I started thinking why not give them to someone who “needs” them(we all “need” cupcakes now and then, am I right?;) So instead of offering them to my kids, I would ask them “who do you think needs these cupcakes today?” and they’d get so excited and start naming off friends, family members, their teacher at church or at school. Then I’d load up the van with kids and cupcakes and we’d deliver the goodies. It was such a wonderful experience for our family that we cherish and still do from time to time. And I completely agree with you Mel, food is love and we’re so thankful to share our love with others and for those who have shared their love with us
Yes, we all need cupcakes now and then! 🙂 I love how your kids have responded to the call to figure out who needs the extra cupcakes. What a valuable life lesson for them.
Thank you so much for sharing! Reading this made me teary. I appreciate your inspiring words and example. Lately I’ve loved how my daughters have gotten into baking and seeing the joy it brings them as they bring joy to others through sharing things they’ve created.
I bet that is truly awesome to see this aspect shining forth in your daughters. How amazing.
Sometimes people come to you and do things without knowing what a blessing they have been.
Yesterday we had to put our sweet dog to sleep. My poor sweet tender hearted 6 year old has not know life without his dog. Last night was full of tears and requests to just bring him back home. And then there was a knock on the door. We had been boo’d! This sweet sister in our ward didn’t even know what had happened that day, but her sweet treat brought a smile to my 6 year old. Bless her and her remembering my kids. She didn’t even realize that she changed a little boys out look on life for the rest of the evening with her funny faced sugar cookies. (She doesn’t know I know it was her)
Ministering comes in all forms and sometimes a prayer is answered without even realizing it. Love the quote, he is a very wise man!
Oh my heart is breaking for your family and for your sweet 6-year old. But what a tender mercy for that sister to drop by treats at that much-needed time (when she didn’t even know!).
Ministering is a blessing! Food is a blessing! God blesses us! It warms my heart to know people are thinking of me and my family and reassured me that through them, the Savior has my back.
Amen.
Thank you for sharing. My mother often ministered through food, also. I love to reach out but my time is just not available at this season in my life. I am looking forward to a time when I can once again reach out to others by making goodies. Appreciate your blog. God bless you.
And that’s what it’s all about – recognizing those times and seasons. It will come around!
THANK YOU, Mel, for the BEAUTIFUL post today, and thank you, as well, for all of the inspiring postings from your readers, below….In 2012, my mother unexpectedly passed away from a physician’s medication error, leaving Dad, my sister, and me feeling adrift at sea, as Mother was ~ and had ALWAYS been ~ our Captain. We were all bereft, virtually on the edge of not being able to function. HOW GRATEFUL we all were for our friends, family, and neighbors all over the USA who ~ besides messages of condolences (delivered both in-person and remotely) ~ generously provided us with main dishes, soups, desserts, etc. , comforting and relieving us from having to prepare meals & snacks for ourselves and the many loving people who called on us during our “shiva”/mourning period.
Both before and since our personal grief, I, too, have always found that supplying food (both homemade & store-bought, whether cookies or an entire meal) in times of crises (large or small) can concretely demonstrate to your loved ones just how much you care.
I also learned this valuable life-lesson from that WONDERFUL mother of mine, who was always at-the-ready- with a warm, loving heart, wisdom, a tissue, and a cookie (usually chocolate chip!) to wipe away any grief that came my sister’s ~ or my ~ way.
Thank you so much for your comment, Cheryl! Truly, truly wonderful what good can be found amid the grief of those moments. I’m so sorry about the loss of your sweet mom. She sounds like a remarkable woman and the gift of her example will last forever.
I really appreciated your words. I find ministering through food the easiest for me to do. Sometimes I let my introverted side take over and it is hard to be around people. There are constantly times where I serve with more then food but sometimes it is easier to drop off bread, cookies or a meal then go into their home and help in other ways. I’ve always felt very guilty about JUST dropping food off. Especially, when it started to be joked about or seen in a negative light at church.
I loved that you said this: “Food is the gateway that can lead to deeper, truer friendships and possibly alter the course of someone’s life…” I’ve gained some friendships because I made that first reach out with a plate of cookies. With that friendship, I then feel more comfortable to serve in other ways. I really appreciate your experiences and thoughts on this. Plus, 90% of the time, I’m taking in a recipe from your website! Thanks for the great recipes and letting us, as complete strangers, feel like we know you and are apart of your family.
Thank you, Keri! I think all service is valid and love that you minister through food. I, too, am introverted in a way that some situations fill me with anxiety and dread. I think the Lord knows our hearts and validates our service when we do it in the best way we know how.
We haven’t had a lot of opportunities in our lives yet (luckily). But there was one time about a year and a half ago, that I think will stick with me the rest of my life. A co-worker of my husband’s was diagnosed with cancer. It was a total shock, discovered from a routine appointment for something unrelated. And it was bad. He had to immediately go on chemo. Had a wife, 3 girls. I’d only met him a couple times, but everything I knew, he was an amazing person. There’s so many other parts of this story that make it even more heartbreaking, but I won’t go into it all because this is already long. My husband told me people were signing up to bring dinners and I told him I’d be happy to make something. No one was home when he dropped it off. But the next day he called my husband to say thank you. Said his whole family came home exhausted and drained and hungry. And they found a Mexican feast waiting for them. (I believe I made your creamy green chile enchiladas plus some other things) These are men that don’t get mushy, but my husband said he could tell how much it meant and what an impact it had on their family that day. A few months later they tried an experimental treatment that seemed to be working, then he suddenly passed. I’m tearing up just thinking about it. But I’ve never been so happy that I made a dinner in my life. Knowing I was able to provide even just a few moments of love and happiness during the worst part of their lives. You never know what a simple act can do for someone.
Thank you for sharing that, Angela! I got a little teary-eyed reading about this sweet man’s journey with cancer…and his unexpected passing. I’m sure the meal you made for his family made a lasting impact as well…and not just because of the food. I agree that you just never really know the impact of a seemingly simple act.
Loved this post because it resonates with my heart. My 92 year old father-in-law is living with us now. His sweet wife always cooked him delicious, from scratch, farm food and he has missed it so much. I’m so glad I can provide that for him now he is in our home. I do believe we need to remember to minister in our homes as well as to others, it’s so important, thanks for the reminder.
You are amazing, Tammy! Truly amazing.
Your post made me teary. It does matter so much and I am so hard to serve. I need to be better at that.
So! I made your big fat chocolate chocolate cookies, the ones in the photo, and brought a huge bunch into work. My friend told me that one of the nurses took 6 of them!! I just laughed and said they went to a good home. I made two kinds of the same cookie with different recipes. Yours won. Thank you, from the bottom of my ever lovin’ heart. You help me serve others so well. God Bless You!!
And how on earth can you keep up with this many comments!!! I am clearly not alone in being your biggest fan. Wait, yes I am. I am claiming the title officially….right….now! Nanananabooboo!
Um, she took six?? I love that! I wish I had the courage to take six cookies when faced with a whole tray. Haha. And I’m only barely keeping up. I’ve been reading and responding for hours. It might take me a few days but by golly, I’m going to respond to all of them!
Hello, I know the feeling! I’ve lived in 6 states and memories you describe hit home – favorite though is when I reach out. Why? To reciprocate the caring
I agree!
Mel,
I have a million other thoughts about this post but I will just share my first thought.
I wish there were a billion more people in the world like you!!
Oh boy, thank you so much, Lise!
Mel, your words are always thoughtful and inspiring. I don’t know if you really understand the impact you have. Not only are you my go to food blogger, it feels like you are a friend. You are a true blessing. Thank you so very much for sharing. You are the best!
Thank you so, so much, Jane.
This post made my morning. I have always envied people who have friends that are thoughtful enough to bring them food when they are sick, sad, injured etc. I have wonderful friends but, bless their hearts, they just don’t think like that. Because of this, I have tried to be the friend that I would want. I bake for new neighbors. I bake cookie boxes during the holidays for neighbors and family and random people at the gas station and hair salon. It just makes me happy to think something so small could make someone’s day a little brighter.
I love how you’ve taken that and turned it around, Lynda – so you are serving those around you in the way that you might like to be served. So, so sweet.
I love this, such a great example and I love that ministering quote! I often take dinners to people when they are sick or whatever. One day my little boy wasn’t feeling good, he laid on the couch and asked me “Who’s bringing us dinner tonight?” That was at 9 am in the morning! Kids definitely watch what we do.
Ha ha! My daughter will ask the same thing when I have a new baby!
Oh my gosh, Amy – this seriously made me laugh out loud (and my husband, too, who was reading through all these comments)
I agree! I’ve always told people that food is my love language. I make food to show my love and if you bring me food, i know I am loved. While my husband was deployed, friends would have us over for dinner regularly and it was such a small gesture that meant so much to me.
I read an interesting article yesterday that I’ll link about food and what it might mean in hard times. It’s a valuable perspective and lines up with exactly what you’re saying. And you’ve inspired me to make a greater effort to ask for guidance in my prayers about who might need some bread or cookies.
https://redtentliving.com/2019/09/13/the-casserole-rules/?fbclid=IwAR2-1jiBsRKCjN11Hg0BbHmhATpbXIX_BIbdl_87usfIQARHGboOpSCSDb4
Thanks for a thoughtful post Mel!
Thank you for sharing that article!
Dear Mel: Your post touched my heart and I couldn’t help but have tears in my eyes. I too have been on the receiving end of those who take the time to say either “thank you” or “look what I brought.” Its such a blessing to give, either in food or time. There are those who need to know someone cares. My Dad passed away when I was 8 years old and my brother was 6 years old. I thought my world had collapsed. There were so many neighbors and church people that showed their love by bringing us food. My Mom was overwhelmed with the kindness we all received. When I was a teen, we had fellowship dinners at the church and I enjoyed serving and washing the dishes! It was a time to connect. We had so much fun in serving and seeing the big smiles on everyone’s faces. My Mom was always preparing and taking things to whoever God laid on her heart. I too try to follow that example. Thank you for letting us know what is in your heart. You and your family are blessed!
I love to see the smiles when I prepare a “treat” for friends and family. There is usually nothing left of whatever I make (if there is I send it home with them) and I love it! I’m so glad I discovered your website (I know God was leading me).
Your comment is so tender and precious, Donna. Thank you! I appreciate you sharing those experiences in your youth and how they shaped you as an adult. It’s amazing the impact of seemingly small things – I have no doubt you have brought many smiles to many faces!
I love this, great thoughts!
This was so beautiful!!! I love to minister with food and after reading this, I know it’s a useful way to do it. When we moved to Iowa, I had our fourth baby two weeks after. I didn’t know anyone. But our church family brought us meals for a week. Total strangers! But they took care of us. That has always stuck with me. Funnily enough, I was telling my kids about a time they all woke up with the stomach flu in a night and my friend brought me a Halloween sugar cookie from Panera. That cookie got me through!! Thanks for all you do. You create such a good and safe space.
Thanks, Heather – also, amazing how a good cookie really can get you through days like that. 🙂
As usual Mel, you wrote such a wonderful article! I do believe you should/could write a hit seller book as you are very gifted with your words and you have a great sense of humor! Getting back to this article,I agree 100% that ministering to people through food opens doors and warms people hearts creating wonderful friendships.Last week, I watched my Pastor’s wife Dianna, demonstrate her Mexican dishes to the congregation sharing her message about ministering through food.God bless you Mel and thanks for all your wonderful recipes.
Thank you so much, Maureen!
I’m all teary after reading this and all the sweet, sweet comments. The recipes are why we first started reading your blog, Mel, but it’s posts like this that keep us coming back. The community of your readers, the conviction that we can all build stronger families and closer communities by serving each other, is really powerful.
I’m nearly a year into a cancer diagnosis, which has included a brain biopsy, radiation and chemo. Prior to this past year, I had mostly been on the serving side, volunteering in the community, cooking for bake sales and meal trains, figuring out a positive contribution where I could. It has been humbling to be on the receiving end- and surprisingly difficult to accept. I feel resistant AND grateful. Mostly I recognize that calling to check in, sending funny socks, emailing a joke, delivering cookies or a meal are all ways to say “I can’t do anything about the big picture, but THIS small thing I can do.” Whatever this is. On the receiving end, it feels huge. I am also starting to be able to do more again- I made dinner for my family last week for the first time in 10 months. It felt great. The kids (and I) are lucky my husband is such a good cook. 🙂
Thanks for continuing to inspire us to be our best, biggest selves, Mel. And thanks for reminding us that life is delicious. Our families and communities are stronger with all of us in them.
Well it truly is the comments on posts like this that keep me blogging, that’s for sure! And oh, Rebecca, I am so, so sorry about your cancer battle. That description of being resistant AND grateful is so accurate of how I have felt, too. I, for one, am stronger after reading your comment – you are brave and amazing!
This post is perfect. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it. One of my son’s best friends found out a few months ago his parents were divorcing. It was the end of 6th grade. They were in different classes but the teacher came and got my son to sit with him. My 12 year old (macho man) son came home eyes brimming with tears and told me the news. We immediately got food and went over. What do you say or do in such a situation? It can be awkward and hard, but I always say to my kids “Do SOMETHING!” Even if you can’t find the right words or if you say the wrong ones, ALWAYS be the person who SHOWS UP. When things are happy, sad, awkward, confusing, GO. My cute son was visibly shaking when we showed up (kinda praying they wouldn’t be home). Friend wasn’t home, but when his sister answered I was able to simply say, “we just wanted to let you know we love you” as I handed over the load of food. More didn’t need to be said. I could write a book about the many ways, but thank you SO MUCH for the reminder.
You are a wise mom, Kira. Do something is a powerful phrase! I love that you are teaching your kids to get right down there in the trenches with friends who are suffering instead of avoiding it. Love that so much.
I choked up as I read your post. It’s all so true! And I also love that wise man and the things he says. Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts and I couldn’t agree with you more. I have made huge pots of soup and shared it with others simply because I couldn’t think of anything else to do for them. Food is the gateway to the soul. Thank you!
Such a true statement about being the gateway to the soul, Kathy. Thank you!
After a recent big surgery so many people were wonderful and fed my poor husband who can not make a cup of tea without guidance. But one of the most appreciated things we received was a big fruit salad. So many people brought casseroles and desserts which were all great and so kind but that fruit salad was so fresh and healthy, we have never forgotten it. And it was brought by a friend who can not cook but sure can cut up fruit!!
Isn’t it amazing how something like a fruit salad can just change your whole outlook? And what’s really remarkable is that friend knows her talents and uses them to her advantage. Who cares if she can’t cook, right? That fruit salad was what you needed. 🙂
Whenever there is something needed or “nothing needed” at all, my answer is always food. I always promise to bring someone food because it is my love language and the one way I can serve someone so easily and profoundly (for me anyway). Food is a life-giver and sometimes a lifesaver. That is why I told myself I will always show up, hand out, share and give with food.
A lifegiver and a lifesaver – yes! Love that.
I’ve been saying for years that my love language is baked goods! For me it’s the easiest and most sure fire way to show someone that I’m thinking about them! My youngest spent 35 days in the NICU. There was one evening about 3 weeks in that was particularly difficult. It seemed like this NICU journey would never end and all I wanted was a cookie! I had neither the time or energy to make them myself. But within an hour my doorbell rang 4 times with various treats and gifts. I knew then that my Heavenly Father was mindful of me and my family during that difficult time. A plate of brownies changed my life that evening!
What a sweet experience, Julie! He is so aware.
Oh, the feelings that this topic raises in me! I’m so sorry for the long post.
First, let me tell you about the bread project. It is so sacred to me, I still cannot think of it without tears. Several years ago, I was going through a tough time emotionally. Life circumstances and stress had taken their toll on my self confidence, and depression had convinced me of the disdain my neighbors had for me. Finally, I reached out to my bishop for advice. Coincidentally, a few weeks earlier, I had delivered an anonymous letter to this man, asking that more care be given to the bread used for the sacrament, because bread drier than croutons, or green with mold, was not fit for ducks, much less as a token of the Savior’s sacrifice.
I also developed some transference toward him, and took him a loaf of bread, anonymously. As I healed under this good man’s care and guidance, he issued a calling to be the compassionate service coordinator, with serious questions about how much I could handle. Under his breath almost, he said: “If it was up to me, I’d bake bread and take it to people”. I had come to love and respect this man, but also out of embarrassment for the transference bread, I started the project he suggested. Weekly I would lift my heavy mixer, listen to conference talks while I measured and kneaded, and pray for myself and my family, and to know who needed the bread. I learned through the teaching of the spirit, so many symbols of each ingredient, and the symbolism of kneading and working the dough. As I placed the dough in the oven to rise, I would give it a pat with my hand, and think how I wanted my hands to be like His. My heart broke over and over as I did this, but also I started to feel the first early dawn light of joy starting to break through the darkness. The bread was always anonymous and I inserted a picture of the Savior in the bag, because I wanted there to be no question who I was acting for. I got a moniker as “the bread angel”, but since anonymity was part of the fun, I refused to reveal my identity. It is hard to understate the healing that came from this two year project. I gave it up because it had served its purpose, because my anonymity was beginning to be compromised, and because I got busy with 11 funerals.
Second, just this week a friend called and wanted to take me to a belated birthday lunch. She can ill afford it, and I am entering hibernation and don’t want to socialize much. I tried to gracefully distract her, and put her off. But as the conversation progressed, I was reminded that she needed this. She’s a widow and doesn’t get out much, so I swallowed my self pity and agreed to let her serve me.
But I have a frustration about serving with food that has caused me to switch to flowers (thank you for cheap flowers, Trader Joes!) As has been mentioned, so many people have food issues! Diabetes, allergies, and even obnoxious dieters who brag about sweeping gift food into the trash can. Ever try taking a meal to someone who can’t have any salt?! So I’ll bring a meal when asked, and baked goods when I know it’s safe, but otherwise, I find another ice breaker to get myself in the door to the real service of listening and observing.
Finally, a fun story! One night, I was trying your white chili recipe, and I knew I’d have way too much, and was wondering who to give it to. I prayed about it, and went to Facebook and there was the answer! Your cousin Melissa had posted that she didn’t know what to make for dinner. It was a fun way to make service happen.
Loved your comment so much! And what a small world about my cousin, Missy. That’s so awesome. Also, I think your point is really valid about food issues/allergies. Flowers are a great substitution for food and since it’s more about the serving than the item, there’s many things we can offer (even if it is just time). Thank you for sharing!
I spent about 20 years as an Assisted Living Administrator and Senior Housing Manager for low income folks. I can tell you without a doubt that any kindness no matter how small that also includes food, is ministering. It brings out a young and happy heart, and a smile to the eyes that might have been gone, for far too long. Food is a solid form of love, and I cannot think of any form of true love that is not ministering. Sometimes I think the person that states, “Oh my gosh, you did not need to do that for me” might need it most of all…
Thank you for sharing that, Melynda! That last line is golden.
Love this post Mel. Such a great reminder. I too have a passion for making and sharing (and obviously eating 🙂 delicious food. When I think about what holds me back from ministering with food it’s all those little doubts that creep in. What if they don’t like it? What if they’re on a diet? What if it is really truly disgusting and I didn’t know? What if they have allergies? What if their kids hate it? What if it’s misunderstood? What if it’s a burden? What if…yada yada yada. Your post inspires me to get over my doubts. And if I feel inspired, just do it. I look back on the times someone has ministered to me through food and I always, always feel loved, whether it was perfect or not. And even if some of those doubts are actually a reality, most people can look past the imperfection and see the love intended.
I’ve had some of those same doubts, Heather! But like you, I’m going to be better at putting them aside and just serving.
My husband suffers from depression and when it’s most crippling, it breaks my heart that there is absolutely nothing tangible I can do to help him. Except one thing. I can make him delicious food. He appreciates it and it is such a balm to my soul to be able to love him through that one small act.
What a sweet, sweet comment, Maria. You are truly selfless and have inspired me.
Food is love. Simple as that. Thank you for sharing your story.
After the last presidential election, amid the chaos and bitter lines in the sand, I started inviting people with different viewpoints to dinner at my house. The kitchen table unites us all.
Wow, what a great idea in our turbulent times,
Mel, you make the world brighter each day! Thank you!
Thank you, Cara!
Susan, you are an inspiration!
Wow! To your post Mel and then to all the comments! I’m not sure you could have found so many people who recognize the blessings they give or the blessings we receive from making food and giving it away to those in need! I love your site and prepare your recipes weekly! God bless you and yours!
Thank you so much, Sue! I am so grateful to be surrounded by so many inspiring, virtual friends!
Thank you for putting this out there. It truly resonates with me. I have been on the receiving end each time I had a baby as well as at times when I lost loved ones. I have also been on the giving end providing food, love and comfort when needed or when God put it on my heart to just bless someone. You’re the best at what you do so thank you for following your God given gifts. Your website is my go to!
Thank you for sharing that!
This post brought tears to my eyes. I have been served countless times with food. When I had my fifth baby I kept telling my husband that food is the BEST baby gift. Nothing says “I care about your needs” like food. I love that we can show this love to our families every day.
I’ve also had the opportunity to take food to people, and my go-to is always your Spaghetti Pie. It’s my family’s absolute favorite meal. Thank you for your amazing recipes that bless so many people!
Thank you, Camilla! And I love your sentiment that we can show this to our families every day. So true.
Yes, yes, yes! I still remember the homemade bread and plate of various bars (along w/lasagna) that a friend made for me 10 years ago after my first child was born. It left such a lasting impact on me still to this day because it met that innate feeling we all have to be taken care of/cared for.
Isn’t it amazing how those memories stay with you? I can barely remember my kids’ names most days but I can still remember nearly every meal that has ever been brought to us.
When I was a teen, I made cookies every Sunday and took a plate to at least two different households just depending on who I felt might need it. Interestingly, one of the strongest impressions I got (very frequently) was to take some to my friend’s parents. She was older than me and had gone off to college. Even with her gone, I felt a need to visit with her parents regularly and take them these treats. I later learned her father had struggled for many years with feeling “unliked” or “unwanted” in our church congregation. My visits helped him feel like he had more of a place there. Amazing what treats can help us do when we are too awkward to do it on our own, especially when we’re young.
Nowadays, I minister every week through “cookie Friday” at my husband’s PT clinics. It’s been a fun tradition that has really become part of a positive culture in their workplace. I love it!
Ministering through food is amazing, and I love being on both ends of it!
Thank you for this post, Mel!
What an awesome teenager you were, Hayley! I love that you made the sacrifices most teenagers wouldn’t make to take those cookies around. And then come to find out you were having a long lasting impact on your friends’ dad. Wow.
Thank you for sharing! Food is definitely my love language. And I’ve been blessed by so many people and so much yummy food throughout my life (most of which I tried to say I was ok without them bringing it over). I love that my friend remembers that I love peanut butter snickers and brings them to me for my birthday. Or she’ll bring me a big bag of kettle corn because I’m going on a road trip.
My kids range from 10th grade to 1st grade and life is so, so busy! I’m realizing that I need minister to my family and it can be through food. I made your applesauce muffins last week and my family was so happy to have a warm, sweet carb in their belly when they got home.
And on the giving end, I plant a garden so I can share it with my neighbors and friends. I love sending anyone that comes to my house home with produce.
I’m so glad that you love food and make it easier for me to make delicious food for others. Bless you!
Thank you for sharing your experiences on the giving and receiving end, Jenny! I’m trying to be more like your friend and make note when friends mention a treat or flavor combo they love. I have a notes section on my phone where I keep these top secret tips. 🙂
Coincidentally, we watched the latest episode of “Bless this Mess” (s2,e1) wherein the theme is based around acceptance within their new community. Many forms of ministering friendship, compassion and assistance are expressed; some humorous attempt to fit in. It all results in fellowship and “doing unto others as….
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences and reflections! It’s never easy to publicly bare ones soul, but we’re all better because you have.
P.s. Thank you very much for all of your wonderful recipes that continues to inspire my cooking!
Thank you so much, John!
Ditto to all the other comments. A lady at church said she felt inspired to bring a lady some brownies. She knocked on the door but no answer. She decided to put the brownies through the mail slot on the door. She had no idea that lady was laying unconscious in front of the door bc of low blood sugar and that when she woke up she found her cure in front of her. That inspires me along with Mel’s article, everyone’s comments and my experiences of ministering. I am so grateful that Mel’s family sacrifices some time with her so she can share with all of us.
Oh my goodness, I’ve never heard anything quite like this!
I love this so much. You are the best, and I love you for putting his out there!!!
Thanks, Ashlee!
I think it’s important to remember it doesn’t always have to be homemade to be helpful. During a miscarriage I thought nobody knew or cared about, I found a caramel apple from a local company on my doorstep. They are my favorite. It was like manna from heaven.
Yes, a thousand times yes to this post! It is a blessing to minister to others but we must also let others share in the blessing to minister to US when we need it! The gift of hospitality never goes out of style! ❤️❤️
Such an important reminder, Emily!
I love this post Mel. It’s such a great reminder. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can share my own gifts and talents with others. And I do have a huge passion for making and sharing (and obviously eating 🙂 delicious food. It’s easy to think of a million excuses for not ministering to others. All those doubts that pop in your head– you know what I mean? Doubts like: Will this be accepted? Will it be appreciated? Will it come across the wrong way? Will it even taste good? Haha. Maybe they hate chocolate chip cookies. Maybe they’re on a diet. Maybe they can’t have gluten. Yada yada yada. It seems as soon as I start to think of doing something good, my thoughts are flooded with excuses not to. But really, when has food not brought a smile to my heart? The fact that someone cared enough to make something for me, ALWAYS warms my heart. And even in the cases that my worst doubts are realized, most people can still recognize a loving gesture and get over the fact that it wasn’t perfect, but it was done out of love.
I agree with you, Heather – and so many other people have mentioned the same thing in this thread. Definitely a commonality! But I think you are so wise in remembering (and reminding all of us) that even if our fears come to pass, almost everyone still recognizes the effort for what it is. And what I’m learning from all these comments is that it goes beyond just the offering of food – it’s so much more than that. It’s love and friendship and sacrifice.
LOVELY, LOVELY, LOVELY POST!! Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
When I broke my toe last December I told everyone I was just fine and didn’t need any help. It’s just a toe after all. But man alive I was in so much pain and unable to care for my family like I normally do for 3 weeks. One night I got a beautiful pie from crust club. I had no clue who sent it but it made me cry like a baby! I was ever so grateful. I found out later who it was and I was so touched by their thoughtfulness. Another wonderful woman at church who had also broken a toe a few years ago told me she was bringing my family pizza another night. It was such a fantastic dinner (just something simple like dominos!)and left me with a determination to be more in tune to those who might need help. And you better believe when I find someone else has broken a toe, I bring them dinner!!
Ouchie wa wa! Your broken toe sounds absolutely horrific. But look at you – using that experience to change other people’s lives for the better (especially those who have a broken toe!). Empathy is a beautiful thing.
Mel, you and your readers are my favorite people!!!
You may not know this, but even though I don’t know you IRL (although, you name the time and place and I’ll be there!), I’ve been on the receiving end of your food ministering. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago, a friend showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the afternoon. She had a Tupperware container full of pumpkin chili and all the fixings. She apologized for not making it herself (why do we apologize so much?!), but explained that she had heard about my diagnosis and wanted to do something for our family. The inspiration came when she was volunteering at lunch for the meridian temple construction workers. A huge batch of chili had been made by YOU, and for some reason I still can’t wrap my head around, there were leftovers. The chili was delicious, and my 3 sons (and me too, if I’m being honest) felt like we had a brush with fame—“Mel made this!”
Although I have always been one to minister through food, that season of being on the receiving end taught me so much. I learned to never postpone a prompting, that simpler is often better, and that God knows me and is always there to help me through struggles—and that is usually accomplished through my family and kind friends and neighbors.
Now I’m going to quit bawling and go bake something!
Emily, I honestly don’t even know what to say. Seriously. I’m just sitting here with tears welling up in my eyes because I can’t believe how that experience actually unfolded. I almost feel guilty I had a part to play in it because I didn’t know the realities of what you had to be going through…and it makes me wish I could have ministered to you in real life. Thank you for sharing this. I never would have known! (And I really hope you are on the other remission side of your cancer journey.)
Thank you for your kind words and sentiment. Not officially in remission (two years to go!), but I‘m grateful that I’m here!
This post is amazing. 529 comments and counting… You are a treasure!
This is why I love you Mel!!! My favorite post ever.
Thank you, Mikilah! XOXO
I have celiac. Sometimes ministering through food can make me feel more alone. Especially around Christmas, people will bring treats that I get to just watch as my family enjoys. If they do bring something I can eat, it’s not often understood that it can’t be on the same plate as things I can’t eat and care needs to be taken while making it. On the flip side, I never feel more loves than when someone shows up with the separated plate for me (even better if they point out that they did something while making it to make sure it was safe). In fact, I’ve never felt so loved as when someone who loved to cook decided they would take it upon themselves to find yummy treats and meals I can eat.
It reminds me of a saying:
“To be loved but not known is superficial, to be known but not loved is everyone’s greatest fear. But to loved and fully known is a lot like being loved by God.”
Know the people you are serving. Love them despite their dietary challenges. Do what they need not just what is easiest for you. That is showing God’s love and can absolutely be done through food.
That is an incredible comment! So beautifully put. Thank you for your perspective and honesty and that beautiful quote at the end.
Bekah – that quote is incredible! Thank you for sharing that! I’m going to copy and paste that and hopefully remember it forever. I think your point is so, so important. And it really takes ministering to the next level. Sure, the offering in and of itself is important, but to go to that additional effort of learning who you are ministering to and tailoring the food (in this case) to them…that is a powerful way to show them that they are loved AND known. Thanks for inspiring me to be better at this!
Bekah- you have stirred something deep inside. I understand how you feel to be really loved. When my sisters make a birthday cake for my niece’s party that I can eat with them, it makes me feel so loved. They go through the effort to buy the safe flours and the safe sugars so I will not get sick.
Inclusion is such a beautiful thing when it everyone can join in together. I imagine it is somewhat like breaking bread together, even though I cannot have typical bread anymore.
Thank you Bekah for the quote that will stick with me as I struggle through accepting my food restrictions and recognize when I am being truly loved.
I resonate so deeply with your words! Well said and so true in my life.
Thanks for sharing this post.
Thank you, Cindi!
Bringing food to another soul or family is such a wonderful blessing for both the giver and the recipient(s). And, it doesn’t have to be homemade, either! Picking up someone’s favorite treat (candy bar, ice cream, baked good) is so thoughtful and good for the soul. I was part of my church’s ministry where we brought meals to women who had recently given birth. It was wonderful to be able to provide a meal so they could be nourished body and soul. s
I agree with this wholeheartedly, Larissa. Thanks for mentioning that!
Thankyou Mel for sharing your sweet heart and testimony. I have experienced like you, both the giving and receiving of “ministering through food”. I love to give food to others and show them by so doing that they are not forgotten, but are remembered, valued, and loved. Whenever that kindness has been reciprocated, I have likewise felt remembered, valued, and loved. I began my personal ministrations when I came across and slightly modified a killer banana nut bread recipe. I made big loaves for families and little loaves for widows and singles. I kept a list of those I had given to with a goal of giving to every member of my church family, and any others who I felt needed to know they were loved. It has been a wonderful experience and has opened many closed doors and many closed hearts. You are an inspiration Hon. Thankyou for your wit about food, but most especially for sharing your heart. I feel like you now aren’t just “that recipe girl”, but are a kindred spirit, albeit much more gifted in culinary skill and word than I. God bless you.
No, Robert, YOU are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing!!
Honestly I’ve struggled to receive ministering through food when I have had babies (just had my 5th). My kids are very picky eaters and so they tend to not eat the food that is brought and my husband will rarely eat leftovers so it’s a burden on me to eat a huge pan of lasagna myself, and for some reason that is depressing to me. I don’t like wasting food, especially food people have given to me as a gift and so it causes more stress than if I had just had my husband pick up some food on the way home. I know that sounds terrible but it’s something I realized this go around that I’ve felt. My husband made a good point though that it’s often not about me, it’s about them being able to serve me and even if we don’t eat everything they brought it was the thought that counts. That has helped me a little.
I actually think your point holds a lot of value in this conversation, Vanessa. Someone else above mentioned how really knowing who you are ministering to can make a world of difference – I think if we know someone may have these concerns, there could be other ways to minister, right? But I also think your husband does make a good point…as hard as it is to do.
Mel thank you for sharing such a sweet and tender post. This made me cry . My sister just had surgery yesterday on her forehead for the exact same kind of cancer you had(this is her second round of surgery). She said its a really crappy way to get a face lift! lol ~
I live in North Dakota and she lives in Idaho and I wish more then anything that I could whip up some delicious homemade food for her and deliver it in person but this is not possible. I think the important thing to remember is just to simply minister!! I am bringing them dinner via the Domino’s delivery guy! It is a special treat for their family since they don’t get to eat out much with 8 kids. She doesn’t have to worry about dinner, and best of all NO dishes! haha It helps her to know that I love her and am thinking about her from afar! I work full time and if I only ever ministered when I could make something homemade I would not get to serve as often as I like. I have taken McDonald’s, Dairy Queen and Pizza to more people then I would like to admit but it really is about being able to serve in what ever capacity you can! It helps those you are serving out and most importantly lets them know that you love them and are thinking about them!
I think often times people feel if it is not homemade it is not worthy to share but sometimes people just need to know someones cares(and also not have to cook dinner)
Don’t get me wrong there is NOTHING like a good home cooked meal or treat but when there is no time for that, there is always Domino’s!
It’s so hard to be away from people we love when they are struggling! Your poor sister – I’m so sorry she’s had to endure that surgery twice now! I bet she’ll love that pizza delivery (what a great idea). Storebought/restaurant bought is awesome! I love it and think every single effort totally counts.
This was so great! I believe in ministering with food so much. It also doesn’t have to be homemade. Last winter I had strep throat and my daughter had just broken her clavicle. My friend dropped off Sodalicious cookies and drinks and I was so grateful and felt loved.
I bet! And I totally agree – cliche as it sounds, it really is the thought (and effort) that counts!
It’s super hard to be on the receiving end, but my mom-in-love reminds me that you’re robbing someone of a blessing by not accepting the blessing they are giving you.
Melissa this is beautiful, Mom-in-Love is a perfect term, I hope you don’t mind if I use it 🙂
So true, Melissa!
Man I wish I’d experienced this. I remember so clearly when my first baby was born. We were in a new ward and the relief society president said outright “We only give two meals when you have a baby.” I was shocked. And the people assigned to minister to me weren’t even the ones who did it. I don’t think they even knew I existed. We lived in that ward for four years and had three babies while living there and only got two meals with each baby. It was ridiculous. Then when we moved it got better. We did receive several meals with my fourth child and were loved and well taken care of when I lost three pregnancies each during the second trimester. Then my husband was called into the bishopric while we had four children ages 2-7. And pretty much all help ceased. I was actually told by several different people at different times that we didn’t need help since my husband was in the bishopric. What?? Even when I had to serve in a very demanding stake calling that sometimes overlapped with his bishopric duties and I begged for help so we could both fulfill our callings I got nothing. After awhile I was tired of giving all the time; giving up my husband, serving others, fulfilling my calling…. I couldn’t take it and I quit even trying to serve others. No one was willing to help us when we needed it because we couldn’t possibly need any help if we were so righteous that my husband was in the bishopric. (Yes those very words came out of people’s mouths.) Fortunately, we had a relief society president change and attitudes slowly started to shift. When I finally had my beautiful rainbow baby, I was simply asked what I needed and for how long. And when we sold our house and moved from the ward we had the help we most desperately needed. Not all our needs were met and it was super stinking hard and frustrating but the most desperate ones were fulfilled. Our new ward seems nice and I hope they are more giving. But people around here don’t tend to just follow a prompting and drop by. I hear stories of that and I have a hard time believing it’s a real thing because I’ve never seen it. I’ve tried to do it myself when I can but I’ve never received that kind of ministering. Only response when specifically asked and even then not always a response.
There is so much to be learned here…first of all, I’m so sorry that you had those experiences. I wonder if something had happened in that ward that jaded everyone toward unconditional service? Either way, I’m grateful for you that the situation has changed, even a little, and you were able to experience a more genuine ministry for a while. I hope that continues.
Love this post and the comments thus far! I appreciated your mention of ministering within our families as well. I have a teen who has been struggling a lot with friend issues and self-confidence. And just life in general. In an effort to spend one on one time with her and allow her to think outside herself and her own challenges, I asked if she would want to start a weekly baking date with me. Every week we have been researching and trying a new recipe (all have been yours!), and then delivering treats to others. It has been a highlight of our week, honestly, and has brought us closer together. It’s been fun to brighten others’ days, but honestly the greatest ministering for me has been with my own sweet daughter.
Thank you for starting this conversation! It has reminded me of so many dark and challenging moments in my life when I have been ministered to by others through food, as well as my own opportunities now to serve others through “love made visible” (food).
What an inspired way to reach your teenager. I love that so much!
This post landed in my inbox as I plot my hamper plans for the ‘Meal Train’ drop off tomorrow for friends who recently welcomed their second child. I love to bake and make and I love even more giving it to people I love or seem to need it.
Though we tried for many years, my husband and I weren’t able to have kids. The many miscarriages we suffered left us too emotionally depleted to contemplate adoption. It’s been a long road back to a new normal. The wisest thing my husband said is ‘Maybe our love was just meant to be more spread out’.
I feel like I baked and makes my way out of my grief and back to a deeper community. I was shy about leaving sourdough bagels on doorsteps of friends or suggesting pizza night at our place, but no longer. I crochet hats and blankets and crowns for all the little ones I know. I bake birthday cakes in any requested shape.
I know the food and the thought is deeply appreciated. But the act of doing it also feeds my soul and helps me feel connected to so many. More and more, it’s about doing things together: canning sessions,
Christmas baking… making things together feeds in another way. To feed each other is to nourish each other.
Love your site and this is a great post!
PS your Parmesan mashed potatoes will feature in my dinner drop off tomorrow!
The world needs more women like you. I love your outlook and the way you are blessing other people’s lives.
“Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.“
That’s a beautiful quote. I think mothering and ministering are very closely related.
Thank you for your kind words as well. Grace has come from letting go of what I thought would be and embracing what is.
I love the phrase that many of the comments use: Food is my love language. I am going to use that from now on!
Andrea – your words were so tender and your husband’s wise comment made my eyes fill with tears. Bless you for taking a heartbreaking challenge and turning it outward to serve others. I don’t know many others who would have the strength for that. You are truly an inspiration.
Thank you for this wonderful reminder. While reading it I had several people pop into my mind who i think could use an act of ministering by me. Your kindness and ministering has been felt throughout my family as my Aunt Carolee (your neighbor) has gone through chemo. In the monthly family email newsletter she mentions you and your family and your incredible service to her and my Uncle Glen. Thank you for sharing this today and for all you do with this blog, in your neighborhood and in your ward. I’ve never met you but I think you’re a pretty wonderful person.
Oh how we love Carol! We’d do just about anything for them. Food is a simple way to serve, but we love our weekly dinner dropoffs. 🙂
Mel, you are truly inspiring. I have followed along for years and share your website with everyone. You are my go-to when I need a recipe I haven’t made before and I need it to work out and be good, and many of your recipes are classic family favorites. Thank you for your willingness to share not only your recipes, but your example and your heart. I am so grateful for this post on ministering. It has reignited a spark in me to look past insecurities and barriers that are mostly in my mind () and just serve, give, and show up. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much, Jill! I’m recommitting to the same thing after reading all these comments: JUST SHOW UP.
Thank you for sharing this. I shared your post on my FB page in hopes it will help others understand the importance of ministering (A dear, wise man said this: Ministering means following your feelings to help someone else feel the love of the Savior in his or her life. )
If only everyone would pray each morning (first of all) and ask how may I help someone today? What a different world we would live in. Someday….
Thank you, Janie!
I really love baking and always feel a little like I’m burdening people with my baked goods, cuz let’s be honest, baked goods are not necessarily good for the waist line and other health related areas. But I recently posted on FB that although being nurse will always be my first calling, I really love caring for people in baked good form. I was amazed at the love and positive feedback I got from people that had either “suffered” my baking or wished they had. — “Next to love, balance is the most important thing.” – John Wooden
—- Thank you for the countless recipes that are in our regular rotation.
I love this, Karen! Thank you for sharing!
As someone who suffers through a very restrictive diet with food allergies, the idea of other people cooking for me causes great anxiety. When my Dad died last year and people were bringing over food for the rest of my family it added an additional layer of pain. All the food I could not eat just reminded me of another thing I lost. I wish someone would have taken the time to feed me during that time.
I have just recently become more acutely aware of the possibility of people not being able to eat the things that are so sweetly shared. I appreciate your words here and the caution that they bring to seek out deeper information so that we can truly minister and love others.
I relate so much to this.
Barbara – you summed that up perfectly! I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve felt, Venessa. But I appreciate you and others leaving comments like this in this thread because they are needed voices in this conversation!
Just last night a friend brought my husband and I some soup because we have been sick all week, and it meant a lot to me!!
What a sweet friend!
I was at an LDS dentist spouse conference this past August at BYU where Chef Brad talked about this exact thing. Food can definitely be a powerful tool in ministering!!
I’ve heard he has an amazing presentation on ministering through food!
Thank you for this beautiful post! I can remember every meal ever brought to me. I’ve also shared many meals and treats with others, but those blur together over the years. The funny thing is that my family always RAVES about meals that are shared with us (after having a baby, for example), even if it’s very simple food. They can tell that the person made it with love and that makes the meal extra special.
So true! I can’t remember really any specifics of the meals I’ve brought people but I can remember with finite detail the meals brought to us (and so can my kids!).
My mother-in-law passed away this January & I cooked a lot for comfort in the weeks following for my husband & father-in-law. One of my work friends insisted on sending dinner home with me (despite my protests) and it was such a moment of relief knowing I was “off” that evening. Much to my surprise, she did the same thing a few months later, when it was feeling like life should be back to normal, but of course it wasn’t.
Last night I made your easy breadsticks, and it was so nice to be able to whip up something homemade for my family after what has been a long week at school (and I realize, it was only Wednesday!).
What a beautiful post that spoke right to my heart.
Thank you, Renee! I think it’s an important reminder that sometimes we rush to help people in those critical times and then forget that they may continue to need it for a while…things don’t always get back to normal as soon as we would like.
This post made me cry- I can relate to this post 100%. The time, effort, and thought put in to homemade food shows our genuine love and support for one another. Like you I grew up watching my mom minister with homemade pies, bread, etc etc. As a new mom and each successive time I’ve had a baby (I have 6!) I have felt overwhelmed with love from sisters around me. After baby #5 I was having a particularly rough time, my husband was working out of town and I had a horrible eye infection and my sweet neighbour brought over the most delicious hearty muffins I have ever eaten. Now my baby is two but I love to pass on the love I have felt so many times.
And that’s what I love – so many women saying the same thing that they’ve been ministered to over the years and they want to pass that on. It’s the best, most amazing aspect of ministering.
I love this!! I can relate to ministering with food. It’s what is comfortable to me. But in this world of fad diets, intolerances, allergies, etc. I get a little self conscious showing up with food for someone I don’t know well. I worry they’ll be sugar free, gluten free, nut free, etc and my offering will be rejected. I know, it’s silly. But I always worry about it. Your sweet message reminds me that I shouldn’t worry about it and instead just follow the prompting.
It’s a valid concern, Tara! I have a few back pocket recipes that seem to be pretty safe for many allergies but I do worry about this, too. (Although following the prompting seems to usually work out pretty well – I’m reinspired to be better at that!)
I am going to preface this with the statement that I love food and of course am a huge fan of your recipes. (My family and I often joke around when I refer to my friend Mel, whom I have actually never met.) So here is my thought: I wish people could learn how to minister without food. Food in our family is really complicated. I have celiac, my husband needs a super low sodium diet to manage his Meniere’s disease, and I have a daughter who has a severe tree-nut allergy. As a result, people often don’t know how to help us in hard times. I don’t even know what to suggest to people who want to help us. Food (in LDS culture) has become the “go to” way to serve/minister, such that people are incapacitated when that option is taken away from them. I know I am going to be in the minority for this viewpoint, and that is o.k. I just felt that it needed to be said. Food allergies/sensitivities can be alienating on so many levels and this is definitely one of them.
I have often wondered about this as I know of several families with similar health restrictions. Can I ask what kind of service your family would appreciate? Food is my go to because it gives me such an easy way to drop by and show love. Without something in my hands to drop off I don’t know how to proceed. Is there something else a family like yours would appreciate receiving? If it’s a family I’m close to then it’s easier but when it’s just a family in my ward/neighborhood that I don’t know particularly well but I do know they have food restrictions, I’m kind of lost.
That’s the rub. There is a reason why food is such a go to: it is easy. You can work it around your existing schedule. It isn’t a huge time commitment. When thinking of things that I really need: someone to watch kids at my house, someone to help with the chores/errands, etc.–that is asking a lot more of a person. And what I have found is that people aren’t as willing/able. Also, to ask those things of a person, especially someone who isn’t a close friend, is so hard. Much harder than accepting food–because it is so much more demanding. I am still trying to figure out how I can help people and receive help without relying on food. However, for some easy ideas, especially to new people: cards with a thoughtfully written note. Fruit is pretty safe, and flowers are nice too (however, they may get discarded quickly if they are too fragrant, or sneeze inducing.)
Great questions, Lucy. I’d love to know, too! And I think it’s wonderful that you share that perspective, Deanna. I think it is a complicated, tricky issue and it motivates me to open my mind and heart to truly know the people I am ministering to first and foremost and if food is not the answer, find a way to genuinely serve them in other ways. Thank you for bringing this up.
I don’t think you’re alone in this feeling actually. I quite often second guess taking people food since it seems everyone has their own dietary restrictions & preferences these days. I recently heard some ideas about alternatives which I thought were great such as offering to do yard work or taking care of someone’s pets. What I’ve also done as an alternative was buy someone a gift card for a local food delivery service (ie. Skip the Dishes or UberEats).
Thank you for this. I too would really appreciate more ideas of what is helpful in cases where people have complicated eating restrictions. Phone calls and visits? I guess, as was said by another commentor, getting to know the people that we want to minister to well enough that we can learn the needs that we can help with probably shows more love than anything.
Yes!! So much YES! I’ve always taken the “Feed my sheep” thing quite literally. There are so many ways to help and minister, but all His sheep get hungry and yummy food always fills a need. My dearest friends became that because our families get together once a month for “treat night.” Yes, yummy treats are shared, but more so these families contribute such love and strength to mine as we eat and talk over delicious treats. Thanks for your thoughts and always thanks for so many delicious recipes that help me minister to my family and friends!
Someone else mentioned the literal interpretation of “feed my sheep” and it certainly seems appropriate here. 🙂 I love that you’ve formed some strong relationships through your treat nights. That’s awesome.
Your article brought tears to my eyes. I was in a horrible car accident last year an while trying to recover from that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The out pour of prayers an food from friends an family has helped greatly. Especially on chemo days, it has also instilled in my kids that there are more ways to help out than just praying for someone. Thanks for posting this today.
Be blessed
Tonya
Oh my goodness, Tonya, I am so, so sorry to hear of the challenges you are facing. I will pray that army of angels continues to strengthen you and your family!
Your post encouraged ma to act on this feeling. I have a friend going through difficult times and when I have offered to bring food she has said, “oh that’s okay -you know I like to cook”. But just dropping off a loaf of homemade bread and some soup would be a great comfort I think!
Yes, I think you are exactly right, Susan! And I bet she’ll appreciate it more than you know.
It’s funny that you should ask about the very thing I’ve been pondering a lot lately (well, the ministering part, though there have been some thoughts about ministering through food too). I’m one of those stubborn people who would rather give than receive help. I’ve always been that way. But then I married into a family where they just naturally jump in and offer to bring meals and minister whenever there is a need and. It’s a foreign concept to me to offer to bring meals to family members, but I am trying to learn to adopt their way of thinking and to also be open to accepting help. We also currently live in a congregation where so many sisters are willing to help out by bringing meals, but I’ve either kept our needs quiet so that we won’t have people offering to bring meals, or I’ve declined the kind offers to help.
The past few months have been rough on me and my husband, health-wise. In July I had a heart attack scare as a result of a prescription medication I was taking, and I ended up in the ER at 3:00 am one Sunday morning. When my sisters-in-law heard about it, they jumped into action and we had meals for a week. I feel like letting them help has even improved my relationship with a particularly difficult SIL.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, a month ago when my husband went in for shoulder surgery, his heart stopped on the operating table. They were able to revive him within a minute, but that began what was probably the scariest 48 hours of my life. He was rushed by ambulance from the surgical center to the ER and was then admitted for an overnight hospital stay for observation. Doctors had a few different ideas about the cause, but it took time and tests to finally identify the reason (turns out it was a reaction to the anesthesia).
The ministering during that time came from so many people and I will be forever grateful. My ministering sister (who has little kids including a baby) stayed up late texting with me to make sure I was okay. Another dear friend called to talk because I was too freaked out about everything and couldn’t bear to be alone in the house. And when Jon finally came home, we had meals and visits from friends and family alike and felt so loved and cared for. One friend even stepped in at the last moment to teach my Sunday lesson. I am eternally indebted to everyone for that love and care.
I wish I was there to bring you something
Thank you Wendy! That’s such a sweet offer!
What an amazing set of ministering experiences, Jana! But oh my, what a terrifying set of challenges for you and your husband. I am so sorry for what you’ve had to face. But thank you for sharing how opening your heart to ministering from others (food or not) has improved relationships and truly helped you during these times.
Oh I’m already crying. This is going to be a good day. 🙂
This post has my heart, 100%.
I used to think that bringing food was just what we did when we didn’t know what else to do. You know, something happens in a family, and no one knows how to help, so by default they just go home and cook something up and take it over? I changed my mind 12 years ago when my grandfather died and I was on the receiving end. Tons of family came and were staying at grandma’s house, and she had just lost her husband. Within hours of his passing, people from the neighborhood came with delicious orange rolls, sandwich platters, and other foods. It took the stress off grandma to feed us, and we could meet our own needs by making a sandwich. But the best part was the orange roll plate… It tasted like love. Those rolls tasted like hugs and like everything was going to be ok. (Stop by Geraldine’s Bakery if you’re ever in Idaho Falls. You can thank me later.)
And I also completely love your thoughts on serving our family. My mother in law is struggling through the last days of her life, right now. Last night I prayed to know how I could best serve and support my husband, and the thought God put into my mind was, “Make dinner tomorrow night.” (I’m ashamed to say that it doesn’t happen every day.)
Mel, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. Thank you. I will be thinking about it much more in days to come.
Oh Jana, your words were thoughtful and wonderful. Thank you! Ministering through food can take so many different forms and I, too, have had those promptings that I need to center my efforts on the people closest to me. Much love to you and your husband through what must be a difficult time with his sweet mom.
A few years back I had the impression I should cook meals for a friend and her family of 4 adults. (She and her husband lived with her parents). I felt awkward but I’m so glad I did it anyways. I couldn’t have known how much it was needed. At times it was multiple meals each week. Other times homemade bread. They felt comfortable calling me for help when they needed it. My youngest has autism and anxiety and she helped me with everything and I can see how much good it did her too. My friends father passed a couple years ago, her mother’s funeral is today. I am so grateful I had the opportunity to serve them and didn’t let my awkwardness stop me from following the prompting.
It sounds like it created a beautiful friendships…and is such a great lesson on not letting the uncomfortable feelings stand in the way. Thank you for sharing!
Dear Mel:
I can’t even begin to tell you how many of your wonderful recipes have been used by me to try to ease the burdens of many a household, not only in times of need but in times of friendship. Whether it be a tray of cookies, a fresh loaf of bread with a pot of homemade soup, or the sweet and sour chicken, every single dish was more than appreciated and enjoyed. I truly believe that whatever effort that was involved was minimal compared to the feeling of joy that it gave on everyone’s behalf.
Thank you so much, Carole!
Thank you, Mel. I read your words this morning with tears of gratefulness. Gratitude for you and the reminders given about serving others. How hard life can be and how wonderful, too! The years go by and it seems like yesterday I was your age with time filled with children, work and always and most importantly family. Now, seasons change, both metaphorically and literally. I sense being in the autumn of my years a peacefulness, quietness yet longing for those days filled with the busyness of life. It all goes too fast. Thank you for connecting us to those years of our children’s youth. The fun we all had as families and knowing you and others like you. You may never realize or know why how important it is to still touch a part of that joy through hearing your voice in the recipes and comments shared. Just know you minister and serve in so many ways. Thank you, Mel!
Thank you so much, sweet Bev!
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this. It strikes me deeply right now! Almost 2 years ago, we moved to Estonia the week after Christmas. Within 24 hours of arriving, we were at the children’s hospital in that unfamiliar country with a sick child. We (thankfully) already knew ONE family there. They met us at the hospital, helped us get settled, and took our 4 other kids to their home, where they fed and entertained them until we were done. They even helped us navigate the overnight pharmacy and then sent us home with leftovers for my husband and I! Over the next week or two, as each kid succumbed to illness and while we were very much in the throes of some major jet lag, they continued to minister to us. I will never forget the huge jar of homemade soup that sweet friend brought over and how much it nourished my soul.
We moved back to the US almost three weeks ago now. We’re in another phase of transition, (thankfully a MUCH smoother transition than last time!), and will be for several months. Though my kitchen and living situation is not ideal, I’m looking forward to figuring out how I can help those around me–through food or otherwise!
Thanks for sharing this, Amanda! I can’t imagine that same type of experience but I felt the warmth of that families service to you through your description. What a blessing!
Yes, yes, yes, Mel! I couldn’t agree more. And your post made me realize that I am REALLY lacking in my ministering skills!! You have had some AMAZING friends bless you and your family! I know my family comes to my house to be nourished not only physically by food, but spiritually, too! Food does that! And thank YOU for ALL of the amazing recipes that I have tried of yours that I LOVE. You are my favorite! 🙂
Thank you, Lynne! I truly have been so blessed. It’s hard to really wrap my mind around all the service that has been given to us.
I have so many thoughts about this- I agree 100%. A couple of years ago I was struggling so bad- we had moved and I felt very alone. In order to survive I started make double dinners on Thursdays and dropping them off randomly to wherever I felt guided. It saved me. Homemade bread has brought down many walls and I always try to think of who needs a loaf when I make it. It does far more good for me than I think it does for them. Probably one of my hardest experiences was when, after the birth of my third baby I had complications and for whatever reason, I was missed. No one brought dinner and I struggled. It hurt even more when the reason I was given was “well, you’re such a good cook no one wanted to cook for you.” I’ve tried to lean from that- no one cares what you make or bring- they just want to be thought of! Thank you for this post. I needed it!
What’s so fascinating about this, Katie – is that during your difficult time what saved you is YOUR service to others, not necessarily what someone did to you. If that isn’t a powerful testimony of ministering, I don’t know what is. Thank you so much for sharing! I’m so sorry that you felt forgotten after having a difficult delivery – but you are amazing for turning it around and deciding to let it inspire you to never forget someone.
Best post EVER. Thanks for a moment to pause and ponder the important things in life.
Thank you, Eileen!
In my morning prayers, I (like you) ask God to put people in path whom I can serve and be his hands on earth. He answers! And I feel humbled. I have been ministered to with food when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, been sick, had babies, or “just because.” And it touches my heart every time! (As a side note…ladies, get your mammograms! I am cancer-free, because we caught it early!) Mel, I love this post – it’s full of truth and love 🙂
Thanks for your thoughts…AND the side note, Sheree! More important than words can even suggest.
Thank you! Your recipes and comments today have encouraged me to get baking!
Thanks, Debbi!
I love this post! I feel that food nourishes the soul as well as the body. One time early in a pregnancy when I was super sick, but no one knew that I was pregnant yet, peanut m & m’s sounded really good to me. I wished I could have some because it was rare for something to sound good to me. The very next day my friend stopped by and said the store was having a sale on chocolate and she had picked up a big bag of peanut m & m’s for me. She had no idea I was pregnant or craving peanut m & m’s! It meant the world to me because she had obviously been guided to serve me in that way that day. It also meant a lot because that pregnancy became very complicated and scary, but the whole pregnancy I felt that God was very aware of me. And the first tender mercy was a simple bag of m & m’s.
As someone who is not a natural cook, I become paralyzed when wanting to help a family through food. It seems to come so easy to some “I’ll just whip up something. “. I end up stressing over what to take, then a trip to grocery store, $30 later and im wondering what I’m doing. It’s probably not cheesy enough or healthy enough. I know this takes all of the love out of it. It’s a real struggle for me and I want to do better.
I don’t think you are alone in this, Des! If it’s stressful, maybe have a go-to storebought treat or snack that you can share?
What? That’s amazing, Lindsay! Thank you for sharing that. I hope I’m living in such a way to be inspired with thoughts like that to help someone that may need something as simple as M&Ms. Love that.
This post made me cry. You wrote it beautifully. I too have felt the power of ministering through food. When my dad was dying 3 years ago and we were caring for him, countless friends brought us food. And it heals, it strengthens. It forms a bond between you and the giver. When your family is hurting food is comfort. And that’s what the Savior wants of us. To comfort each other. Now I need to stop blubbering so I can get out of the car and go into the vet. Thanks for warming my heart again first thing this morning. This post has rekindled feelings for me, and I want to minister to someone today with food. ❤️
You are so right, Marne – it forms bonds that would be difficult to form otherwise.
Yes and amen. I’m someone who grew up watching food be taken to families following deaths, babies, surgeries and did the same as an adult. When it came time for me to need it, it was hard to accept, but so appreciated. As a known cook some people felt intimidated and I told them that I would be grateful for PB&J – the mere fact that they made the food for me and my family would be such a gift and appreciated especially after surgery when you’re so tired you can’t move but you’re family needs to eat. Hospitality doesn’t have to be Martha Stewart approved. Your take-in meals section is a great resource for meal ministry. Nowadays I check for food allergies as well.
Awesome! Every point.
I think you are right, Theresa – the idea that someone is thinking of you is the real gift no matter if they are an accomplished cook or anything like that. “hospitality doesn’t have to be Martha Stewart approved” – truer words hath never been spoken!
Mel I love this post and believe it is true. I appreciate your vulnerability to be real.
I too am a cancer survivor. I am a childhood cancer survivor as well as just hit my 5 year mark for surviving stage 3A lung cancer and Melanoma. I still remember a day when I was 13 when my piano teacher and neighbor brought just me ( which is a big deal in a family of five kids) a plate of homemade eclairs. Fast forward to 2014 a dear friend made me a kick cancers butt meal. Each item had a name written on a menu and how it would kick cancers butt. Grateful and unforgettable.
You are an inspiration, Jennifer!!
I love this article Mel. My love language is cooking/baking for others when in need. And now I am in a season of need, and my kids and friends are serving me. I totally agree that there is something special about ministering with food!
Love and Blessings to you!
Karen
I am so glad the tables have been turned and there are many serving you, Karen. Much love to you.
Yes! I have said it for years. Food is my love language. It’s how I feel loved and how I show love. Great thoughts on ministering and totally made me tear up. And now I need to go make cookies to keep in my freezer, because that’s so much faster and easier. haha
Haha, yes it is. 🙂
I miscarried a baby in 1979 when I lived in Houston. It was the second miscarriage in six months. I was devastated. A friend from church appeared on my door with a plate which she handed me and then left, crying. She had written a note which accompanied cupcakes, something along the lines of she was sad to hear of our loss, she knew she couldn’t fix it, but she hoped I knew she loved me. Her words were surprisingly comforting, and at that moment, 40 years ago, I learned that love can bring healing. She was as young as I was, she didn’t know the right thing to do, but she chose to act and show love in the best way she knew how. Sometimes food is simply the vehicle for the message.
This was so incredibly touching to me, Julie – thank you for sharing. Your sweet story is the best reminder that the service doesn’t have to be fancy, perfect. smooth, gilded, or over the top. Just show up. That’s the important thing.
oh my gosh! the tears! so true! so inspiring!
This comment thread has left me so, so inspired.
Every year for ten years I have run our community craft fair which helps raise money for playgrounds and other good things. One of my friends from church unfailing shows up at my door at the end of the event as I collapse from exhaustion with the most delicious dinner ever made. Her kindness has left an indelible mark on my heart and my life.
It has also been my experience that making two yummy warm pots of soup and some homemade bread to deliver to my elderly neighbour, sick friends, my son’s teachers and those in need is the best date night with my husband. We visit as we drive and deliver – it is meant to life those we serve and love but in the end it lifts me and that is the power of ministering and food.
Everyone needs a friend like that!! And isn’t it such a powerful reminder that there’s more than one blessed recipient in the ministering and serving. I am always left feeling better than when I started my day whether I’m on the giving or receiving end. Thank you for sharing!
Tears fill my eyes after reading that! Yes! So much truth! I am so grateful for the gift of service and food. I had a miscarriage four years ago and unexpectedly ran into a friend as I left the ER and was filling a RX before heading home (she didn’t live very close). She offered to bring me dinner in a few days, I didn’t think it was necessary, but agreed. When she showed up with dinner it was exactly what my body and heart needed!! It still makes me cry because I am so grateful for that act of love.
What a sweet gesture from your friend, Rachael! I know I’ve missed opportunities like this and it makes me sad. But I’m inspired to follow those promptings…and then actually follow through!
Thank you for writing this. It is literally an answer to prayer. I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face. You are the best.
Me, too, Jamie – reading through these comments has been joyful and tearful and inspiring.
I was recently at a Stake leadership training on ministering and the visiting authority actually talked about ministering with food. The point of ministering is to serve and love like the Savior, and Jesus frequently ministered by feeding people. I’d never really thought of it in that context.
Oh, I love that! I’ve never made the connection. Thank you!
When I had for kids under the age of eight, I broke my leg and needed two surgeries within two weeks. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to manage not being able to walk for 3 months! A dear lady who was the nursery leader came to my house every weekday and took care of my baby and toddler, made lunch for everyone, put my kindergartener on the bus, and put my little ones down for a nap. She always left a homemade treat for my kids to have later in the afternoon. Her example is one that I continue to try – and fail – to live up to. I also had many ladies from church bring me dinner, and one of my favorites was a gal who brought something I had never tried and she said, “This is a Mel recipe!” I knew right away it was going to be delicious. It was the first time we had Kansas City Sue’s Chicken, and we loved it.
It really is all about showing up for people! It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it really lets people know you care.
Yes, Rachel!! It’s all about showing up and I feel like I want to write a follow up post after reading all these comments with these two sentences: just show up and it doesn’t have to be over the top. Thank you! (And so happy you love that kansas city recipe…)
Oh Mel! You have ministered to me over the years with your wonderful recipes and motivated me to get cooking and try something new.! I thank God for you, knowing how you parent, and knowing your love for your family makes my heart sing! So yes you just keep on being a shining example and I will keep on trying and gifting your wonderful recipes. God bless you, sweet friend.
Thank you! I have thought many many times over the last several years in using your recipes about how much you have blessed my life. You have greatly ministered to so many of us sharing your recipes, enthusiasm, humor and wisdom. You have saved many a dinner hour over at our house, and I’m not sure i could ever adequately express thanks! You are a wonderful example of ministering!
Thank you so much Deb and Marian!
Love that, Sydney!
I’ve been on both sides. I’ve delivered food to people who have suffered a loss and those who were sick. My best friend of 30+ years had breast cancer and I felt so helpless that I felt the only way I could help get was to cook.
Then in March when I unexpectedly lost my son, I was on
the receiving end. Even as I write this tears come to my eyes because of the love I felt with just the small gesture of someone delivering food. Imagine my reaction when I opened my door 2 mornings later and a roast chicken with all the sides was between my doors!!! There is so much more to food than eating.!
This is also why I love this site. The recipes are wonderful and the community is equally great!!
Thanks, Mel
Oh Wendy, tears came to MY eyes reading your comment. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your son. What a blessing that there were people ready to minister to you.
Thank you, Mel. I wrote to you once before about my son and how your website is a comfort and inspiration. What a wonderful community you have created!!!
When words can’t help, food fills the void. We bring food to new neighbors, grieving friends and neighbors, new moms, and family get togethers and receive in kind. So many memories….
As a mom of twins, I reached out to a new mom of twins to help her feed her family during the first month. She said it kept them from eating at McDonalds so often. 🙂
Also, when my father passed away, I was able to chat with people that I had not seen in over 20 years and share memories. (although I was overwhelmed at the amount of fried chicken and mac n cheese we were offered. I think I shamefully said to one sweet lady ,”Oh wow, more fried chicken.” Ugh)
Thank you for being a great human and reminding us that other ‘s need love and a hand in the form of a simple treat or meal.
Thank you for sharing, Sheila! I love that because you knew firsthand the joys and trials of twins, you were better able to minister to someone else in the same situation!
I’m with you on ministering through food! I’ll never forget the one meal that was brought to us when our first baby was born. Our circle is pretty small and we aren’t involved in a church but that one meal meant so much to me! I’ve also been the giver of food many times during good and bad times in the lives of others. It’s always such a wonderful feeling to know they are being fed either a meal or yummy treat in the midst of their situations. Thank you for going beyond “recipes” and being our friend and cheerleader and for opening our eyes for ways to do better and be better. XO
P.S. Your Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins are my go-to treat to include on food gifts 🙂
Thank you so much, Melanie! Reading all these comments has made me want to do better and be better, too.
Taking food to families who have lost a family member or have someone going through a medical crisis is something I have done many times. The thing is, I was never confident with the food I made. I would bake or cook something, taste it and then decide it wasn’t good enough to share. Next, I would buy a honey baked ham or something and take that. But things have changed since I started reading your blog years ago. Now I actually make bread, homemade cakes and cookies, and entire meals for others. Just last week I took your no bake lemon cheesecake and the new beef broccoli ramen recipe to my sister. So, your kindness in freely sharing your recipes has had a farther reach than you know. Thank you for making life a little easier and yummier.
Thank you so much for your sweet words, Teresa. That meant so much to me.
I love this! Food is one of my love languages and I love serving and ministering to others using food. The other day I took dinner to a friend who just had a baby as well as to a woman in my neighborhood whose husband works out of town, so she is usually alone during the week and eats sandwiches for dinner. The funny thing is that I made two of your recipes! The slow cooker tortellini sausage soup and the parmesan garlic knots… And I picked both because they are DELICIOUS and I knew the others would like them (which they did!). Thank you for continually sharing great recipes and other uplifting content, Mel!
That’s a dynamite combo of a meal, Nicole!
I believe this with my whole heart. I have been on the receiving end of this many times. I believe food shared with others has magical powers. Maybe it isn’t even the food as much as someone saying I made this, I love you, It’s all going to be ok.
I also try to think about ministering to others daily. Your blog is such a gift because we can easily find wonderful food, tips and instructions. Thank you for ministering to all of us with your blog. Love you Lady!
You inspire me on the daily, my friend.
Thank you for sharing this sweet post. I agree with you and I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum right now with people bringing me meals after having a baby. It’s hard because I could do it myself! I’d be a crazy person, but I could do it. It’s been humbling and a huge blessing to let my friends minister to me in this way.
And isn’t that the wonderful, beautiful point? Many of us *could* do it, but it’s so amazing to see the benefit of letting others help (even when it is so hard to accept that help). I’m proud of you!
It is so true what you said. Food can help you get in doors sometimes when nothing else can. It’s hard for someone to be super grouchy with you when you are standing there smiling with yummy food in hand! I have been blessed by so many good people showing up in times of need with meals for my family. But I also have to be careful that I don’t minister just because I don’t have a yummy treat to take. I have found myself beginning a day with the best of intentions to make bread or a yummy treat and deliver it to someone on my mind and then my day is so busy and crazy that I don’t get the treat made and then I don’t go! I have realized I have to go with or without the food. It is definitely less awkward if I have something to give but sometimes I just do it and have never regretted it once. Thanks for your post! You are inspiring and I feel we would be great friends! Even though I am not nearly as good of a cook.
Right on.
You are right, Emily! I need to remind myself of that, too – show up! Even if I don’t have food to bring.
A few years ago I was thinking a lot about ways I could make a connection to others that was natural and genuinely “me”. I also needed a way to be creative and focused in my efforts without expending a lot of extra time or energy, of which I had almost none (still don’t). I looked at what I was already doing (and mostly enjoying) almost every day for my family — it was cooking and baking. I began making double or triple batches of food on a regular basis. I particularly made bread, but also dinners, cookies, brownies. When I feel a tug to visit with or help someone (often in my own family), I almost never go empty-handed. I know not all problems can be solved with a plate of Rice Krispy treats or a bowl of shrapnel and chips, but it somehow feels meaningful.
We are now in the middle of a kitchen reno and I’m without my oven and any sense of order in the kitchen for 6 weeks, and will be without it for another 8. It has been unexpectedly hard to have my primary method of showing and sharing love turned off. Seems that my kitchen is my version of a childhood teddy bear.
Julianne–where do you live? We did a kitchen reno a few years ago and I know how hard that struggle is! I WILL BRING YOU FOOD!!!!! xoxoxo Melanie
Food is absolutely a meaningful way to minister because we need constant nourishment! I too have been on the giving and receiving end SO many times. I don’t think I could add more than all the comments already posted. I did however want to point out that whether we are on the receiving OR giving end, don’t be afraid to speak up! Ask people you want to minister to if they have allergies, food restrictions or preferences. If you are on the receiving end, tell people if you have allergies, food restrictions or truly prefer not to get food. I know it’s hard to be so open but I think that all people who truly have a desire to minister will be grateful to know the very BEST way to serve. It sure helps to be told because otherwise we just don’t always know.
Haha. I love that your kitchen is your peaceful playground! I’m sorry you have to be without it for so long. I had no idea you guys were going through a kitchen remodel. I wish we were neighbors.
Mel, you are so right! Food provides so many opportunities to minister and spread love. If a friend is sick, having a hard week or just needing a pick-me-up, I’ve found a plate of cookies or meal is a great way to let them you are thinking of them (and care about them!). I also find that food helps me show love to my immediate family- it’s a treat to be able to make them smile because we are having their favorite meal or treat. I love, love, love your site and recipes! ❤️ Thank you for the reminder that food is so much more than just sustenance!
Thank you, Karen!!
We are in the middle of relocating from Central Texas (which we love deeply) to southeast Idaho because of a better job offer and closer proximity to family. Since June, everything has fallen in to place with perfect timing. Each tender mercy confirmed to us that this life-changing decision was the right one. Then we put our house on the market. What we thought would be another simple step in the process has been the most trying. It’s like the real estate market stopped the day we listed our house. After 7 weeks on the market (and 6 weeks of keeping my house spotless while also trying to live in it), 2 weeks with my husband living in his brother’s basement in Idaho as he has started his new job, and countless prayers, I thought yesterday was the day we would finally get an offer. Turns out, while the wife loved the house, the husband thought it smelled like pets. No, sir, that was the smell of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies I so lovingly made for you. I was devastated. I texted a friend, “I need a friend” and without asking why she replied, “I AM THAT FRIEND!” She instructed me to come to her house immediately and my kids and I were greeted with a warm, heathy meal. Dinner didn’t solve my problem, but it was exactly what I needed. Someone was taking care of me.
I take food to neighbours regularly. We have good neighbours and they enjoy what I make and send. Last summer I broke my left hand and a not very close friend gave me some of her baked beans. I had been buying them at her table at the farmers market for ages. When our basement was flooded a very close friend brought us a big pot of soup and some buns because I barely had time to cook. Both of these generous gifts literally change how I give. Mel your recipes are tasty and easy to give..very easy. Thank you.
I love those experiences, Val! Thank you for sharing!
I want to cry (and weep and wail) for you, Erika! What a terribly difficult and stressful time. I am so, so grateful that your friend showed up for you.
Thank you for this open and touching post Mel. Love this sentence ~ I’ve been making more of an effort to genuinely ask in my morning prayers if there is someone who needs me that day ~ I also believe food can open doors and bridge troubled waters.
Yes, yes!
Between my four kids (including a special needs son) and the short term emergency foster care hubby and I do, I rarely sign up to take food to anyone. Mostly because I never know what my day will be like. Between some things that have happened and your post my heart is full and I think I need to expand my service.
You are amazing – don’t forget that you are ministering greatly every single day to the sweet souls within your home.
Food ministers to me in huge ways. Cooking is hard for me. It doesn’t come naturally and it takes me a lot of work and mental energy. People that bring us meals for any reason truly just fill me up and encourage me. One friend recently asked if she could bring us dinner after having found out that I’m pregnant. She didn’t just bring us dinner. She brought us THREE FULL MEALS and I still can’t get over it. The whole process of bringing meals is so amazing to me….planning what to make, shopping for the ingredients, then spending time making it just shows me their care for me. Then, when she dropped the meals off she told me she spent time praying for my baby. It was (is!) an unbelievable blessing. Other friends have dropped food off when we get home from a trip or when they know it would make my day. Food ministers to me in HUGE ways!!!!!!!
Three full meals – INCREDIBLE!
Three full meals – INCREDIBLE! And what a huge blessing.
When my dad suffered a massive stroke several years ago, a lot of people brought meals for our family. Unfortunately I could barely eat. My friend showed up on my doorstep unexpectedly with a huge bag filled with all kinds of healthy snacks and junk food alike, along with magazines and a beautiful card. She wrote that sometimes when she’s going through a hard time, she finds it difficult to stomach an entire meal and she hoped the snacks would help. It was a sweet gesture that I’ll never forget.
I love this, Tara!! I love that your friend brought you exactly what you needed (even though you probably didn’t realize you needed it!).
Oh Mel. Basically, I’m nodding my head to everything. The giving, the receiving, the ministering. I love taking a meal to a shut-in or a new parent. Barriers are broken and relationships strengthen through this simple act. Or as you said, when moving, and friends just show up with a delicious meal or basket of goodies. As a receiver, I can’t tell you what it meant when food just magically appeared at the door in my SIL’s final days (battling brain cancer) on earth. While my MIL and I were trying our best to care for her and comfort her young daughters, the knocks at the door were happy distractions and provided so much more than just physical nourishment. I can distinctly remember having just moved and getting very sick, and a new friend showed up with a chicken pot pie, fruit, and cinnamon rolls. THAT is an unforgettable act of love. Or a friend who shows up to your hair appointment with a loaf of banana bread, just because she knew you needed a little extra TLC.
In a similar vein to what Tami said, your Buttermilk Banana Bread is a wonderful ice breaker when I want to reach out to a new friend, neighbor or church member. It’s also one of the things that makes my house feel like a home. Who doesn’t want to sit and chat over tea and a slice of banana bread?
Thanks for this post. Xo.
Thank you for sharing such a sweet, tender experience with your sister-in-law, Tristin. I can’t imagine the difficulty of those moments. What a tender mercy to have that ministry of food.