Let’s Talk: Ministering Through Food
I’m taking a quick departure from recipes today to talk about something that’s been on my mind (and in my heart) for a while.
Ministering through food.
{If you don’t have time to read the whole preface, will you take a second and scroll down to the question?}
Food is an integral part of my life (and I know many of yours, too). I mean, I talk about it with all of you several times a week here on the blog and on social media: sharing new recipes, reminding you of old recipes, and probably over talking how deeply I feel about dark chocolate and carbs.
But food has an importance in my life much deeper than just sharing a killer recipe or eating a delicious dinner or hiding in the pantry with my beloved chocolate chips.
And a lot of that is because I have been greatly impacted by people in my life who have ministered to me and my family through food over the years.
From my childhood, I saw my mom constantly serving and ministering to other families by bringing them dinner or bread (I can’t understate the impact her example has had on me). Also, due to my dad’s job in the oil industry, we moved about once a year growing up. Every single move and new house and unfamiliar town found us unpacking boxes and shedding a few tears because moving is hard; unfailingly, the doorbell would ring with another neighbor bringing over a home baked treat or simple dinner to say hello and start a new friendship.
My own little family (5 kids + husband) has moved seven times over the last 17 years. And while I submit moving is the absolute worst, each time, I’ve been overwhelmed at the kindness of neighbors and new church friends who have appeared, food in hand, to help.
Fast forward to the early years of marriage when I was having babies (what felt like constantly, and yes, I realize this was a personal problem :)), and I had an endless supply of warm dinners brought in to my home by smiling, gracious women who I could tell genuinely wanted to serve me and my family.
It’s been a decade, at least, but I still remember my dear friend’s amazing homemade bread that changed my life forever (she brought it to me weekly for at least two months) and another friends’ epic homemade pizza she brought over one Friday night (the same day that she came over unannounced with her five kids and made me sit on the couch while they cleaned my house).
Then a season of health struggles (cancer diagnosis, surgery, radiation, four very small children at home), and a friend from church showed up unexpectedly with a plate of the most divine cookies I’ve ever tasted and spent an hour reading my anxiety-driven toddler books (she was his nursery leader at church and the only person he would go to outside of me and Brian). Another group of ladies from church left a huge basket on my front porch with more chocolate than a girl could ever need in order to help me get through radiation. I could cry just thinking about it.
Later when I had traumatic, unexpected, surgery on my face for basal cell skin cancer, friends dropped off dinner (even when I acted like I didn’t need it and maybe a couple times pretended I wasn’t at home so I didn’t have to answer the door and show my stitched and scarred face – yep, they still left it for my stubborn, old soul) and others sent dark chocolate through the mail when only dark chocolate will do.
And now, to a phase of life where sometimes it’s hard to breathe because life is busy and hard and awesome and full. Brian’s had a couple major surgeries the last two years, and he also carries a huge responsibility at our church these days. Combined with his demanding job, he isn’t home a lot; his time is very divided and weighted. It’s ok. We manage (and I know some families have it much harder than we do). But yet, neighbors and friends and church members still minister to us without being asked.
Now and then women from church will just show up at my door with dinner for no apparent reason other than “I was thinking about you and your family.” The stubborn part of me initially wants to protest and say “gah, don’t think about us! serve people who really need it!” But in truth, we have really needed it, and their confident, sweet assurances that they knew our family could use dinner have seriously endeared them to me forever, forging a connection that wouldn’t have come otherwise.
I could go on and on. For any and all of you who have ever ministered to me and my family, food or not, thank you from the very depths of my heart.
There is strength in ministering to others…but there is also strength in allowing others to minister to us, don’t you think? It colors our lives with a profound, wholesome beauty that cannot be painted any other way. It’s hard sometimes to be on the receiving end. But the divine impact of ministering (and ministering through food) would reach a sudden, and tragic, end if it was always only one-sided.
While there are certainly many, many ways to minister and serve that do not involve food, I feel like food can pave the way to minister to others like nothing else can. Like my cousin-in-law, Tami, has told me: anyone will talk to you if you show up with a loaf of homemade bread. 🙂
Whether it’s an anonymous drop off or a scheduled take-in dinner, I absolutely believe ministering through food can change lives. It’s changed mine. Food is the gateway that can lead to deeper, truer friendships and possibly alter the course of someone’s life as they see, taste, and believe that there is another person out there thinking of them and choosing to minister to them.
A dear, wise man said this: Ministering means following your feelings to help someone else feel the love of the Savior in his or her life.
I’m so far from perfect at any and all of this. I struggle with selfishness and wanting to protect my time, and sometimes I’m anxious in new, out-of-my-comfort-zone situations. But I know because my life is so blessed, much is expected of me, so I am trying. I’ve been making more of an effort to genuinely ask in my morning prayers if there is someone who needs me that day and then *hopefully* showing through my actions that I will listen and follow. I don’t necessarily say I’m willing to whip up a batch of brownies to go along with the prompting, but I think He knows. 🙂
Sometimes the answer is very simple and clear that my ministering efforts need to go straight to one or all of my kids or my husband. Keeping ministering in-house is maybe some of the most important ministering we can do. Other times I feel a strong impression to reach out to a specific friend or neighbor. And of course some days I don’t necessarily feel a pull one way or the other and so I do my best to go throughout the day open minded and willing. And I always have my freezer stocked with cookies just in case. Basically, I love to show my love to other people through food. I just do.
I’d love to hear from you.
Be inspired by you.
Whether you’ve been on the receiving or giving end of ministering through food, I’d love if you felt comfortable sharing below.
Your comments are what make posts like this absolutely pop with inspiration and happiness! Love you guys.
If you are interested in another quick story, here’s the Parable of the Cheeseball I shared last Christmas that goes along with what we’re talking about today.
I think the times I have felt the presence of the Savior the most is when a dear neighbor has told me they were thinking of me and my family and wanted us to have a meal or a treat they had prepared. Thank you for your wonderful post about ministering.
We just got into a new home and I am ready to start cooking again for whoever I can.
Such a wonderful post!
What a beautiful post! I have been sitting here reading all the comments and crying. There are so many good people in the world. I’m going to try harder to follow in your footsteps! Food is a great way to show ❤️. I will attempt the bread recipe soon so I can give bread too!
I just love you and can completely relate. Food is my life language. I have found myself on the receiving end far too many times the past 3 years. I get embarrassed and feel guilty for accepting so many meals but my heart is so full from the gracious souls who have brought meals or treats. I was in bed rest with two small kids. So many meals. When my baby was born we experienced snowmageddon in Texas and we lost power and water. That didn’t stop the women surrounding me from bringing warms meals for a month! Fast forward to a failed round of invitro, more melas. I ended up having an unexpected and unwanted hysterectomy and again, meals. I feel so loved and so blessed by meals that have been brought to our family. Many of the meals are in fact your recipes.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and inspiring me, personally, with your words and recipes!
Long-time reader/user of your recipes, first-time commenter. I have a finicky gut. But I love food. Over the past seven years, I’ve been collecting recipes that taste amazing and that my tummy tolerates reasonably well. Mostly. Like you, I have a recipe binder (two, actually, one for sweet and one for savory) and fully 20% of the recipes I’ve collected and have made more than once and plan to continue to make are from your blog. I LOVE that your recipes are full of fresh ingredients. Things taste so much better that way and I can easily sub out for things I can’t eat. So. To your question about ministering with food. There was a sweet lady in my ward who was diagnosed with Celiac in her seventies, during my time assigned to her as a Visiting Teacher. She wasn’t super fastidious about following a gluten-free diet. About the same time I went gluten-free, hoping it would help my gut, so I would take her food every once in a while. A few years later, after I had been reassigned and had also expanded my fledgling gluten-free recipe collection, I felt strongly that I needed to start taking her meals again more regularly. I would dish her out a portion of our meals a few times a week and take them to her. It was easy to do because I was already making food for our family. I would sometimes also buy her a loaf of mega-expensive gluten-free bread because she had been a widow for 20+ years, was on a very tight budget and “sometimes just wanted a peanut butter sandwich.” I did this for a year-and-a-half, until she passed away of cancer as a complication of her Celiac. It was a sweet experience as I got to love and serve this special lady. Fast forward to 2020 and COVID. I felt impressed to take meals to a widow and a widower (separate households) and have been doing so for the last four months. It has been a blessing to me and to our family as I watch our needs being taken care of in a loaves-and-fishes kind of way as we share our meals, even though we’ve lost the largest portion of our income due to COVID-related employer cutbacks.
Mel, thank you for sharing your recipes and a little bit of your heart and soul. I feel like if we were neighbors we would be best friends. You minister to me and my with food as you continue to curate such an impressive recipe collection, making it easy for me to have such a variety of delicious things to eat.
xo -E
I have a friend from church who’s 6yr. old was recently diagnosed with leukemia. I am going to start bringing the family dinners, but I remember a post you wrote once about bringing meals to new parents and there were some really good tips on other things to add, but I cannot remember, or find it. Can you tell me where to find that? Thank you for all you do
This old post? https://www.melskitchencafe.com/new-momma-take-in-tray/
Mel I had no idea you had cancer. When my younger daughter was 4, she was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. People I counted on disappeared. And people I didn’t feel particularly close to came out of the woodwork and served in ways I wasn’t expecting. Their lovely acts of service taught me that sometimes you have to just not ask but do. Most of the time I would have said we were fine (which is my speak for well we are all breathing ♀️). When we moved and my baby was better I got someone to visit teach who was always fine too. So I would just think about what I would want if that happened to me and that’s what I did. We have moved again and this pandemic means we haven’t made friends in our ward yet. I’m looking forward to going back to church.
This was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you.
I love your website, have followed it for years…!!
This post brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart — I am always baking and cooking and giving most of it away ………….. I didn’t ever put it into a perspective like this, but I do love to make people happy, and one of the best ways is through food and goodies.
Thank you for what you do. It touches a lot of people.
I have a niece who just gave birth to a baby boy, and I am going to choose from your recipes to bring casseroles, lunches, and goodies for the next few weeks to help her crazy schedule.
Thank you so much!
Thank you, Charlene!
I’ve definitely been ministered to with food as well as done a lot of receiving it as well. It has been a wonderful blessing. However, it has also been a source of anxiety. My son has several severe food allergies. Only a couple of family members and maybe one friend understood he needs well enough to bring safe meals. So often if I needed a meal, it has lead to awkward conversations and has caused people anxiety trying to figure out what they can bring, or they feel bad afterwards if he couldn’t eat what they brought. And I usually end up making something for him anyway. I don’t enjoy taking meals to others because I try to cook things my son can eat and so I don’t have “mainstream” tried and true recipes that I feel confident in that most people are used to eating. (I know this is my personal problem.) I’ve started to hate that EVERY church activity, EVERY party or celebration seems to include food. Anyway, I’ve started to look for other ways to show love by bringing flowers, sharing quotes I love, sending texts, etc. I know my experience is not the majority’s and I know there is so much that food can say that words can’t. However, I just feel like it’s important to also recognize there is also a small minority that have anxiety about food. I hate being the cause of other people’s anxiety. And I hate it when our son’s allergies make them feel bad about their heartfelt offering.
This is a great point, Mel, and I appreciate you adding your thoughts to this because it’s really important for those of us who don’t deal with these issues daily. Thank you for your well spoken thoughts and comment – gives me a lot to think about!
I was thinking about this, with Christmas coming up and all. I love food and enjoy cooking and baking. I can definitely say that I have ministered and been ministered to with offerings of yummy treats and meals. But sometimes I have to be careful that the food doesn’t eclipse the person being served.
It is easy for me to get caught up in perfectionism and possibly dismiss an opportunity to serve because I can’t give my “best” that day. I’m trying to overcome that. If I don’t have the time to make homemade cookies, I can stop by the bakery. If the meal I’ve made twenty times before doesn’t look as pretty as usual, I can still take it.
One time I got an email in the evening to check on a woman I had never met, but we had a mutual friend. I brought her a candy bar that night and she was crying when she answered the door. We had a good talk with lots of tears and laughs. It felt like I was there when she needed it. I’m glad I didn’t postpone my visit so I could offer something fancier than a Snickers.
A thousand amens to this, Brianna! I loved your thoughts – it is such a good reminder. It’s so much more than the food, that’s just the vehicle that gets us there. Thank you for sharing!
Mel, I used to come to your blog almost everyday. And then I stopped, I guess I’ve been super busy with university and stuff. At the ripe old age of 22 I come back to find this posted. I have been moved to literal tears. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Thank you so much, Catalina!
Hi Mel! Thank you for this beautifully written piece on ministry. I also see the beauty in ministering through food and there is nothing more gratifying to receive food during a time of need. I’ve cooked for the Meals That Heal ministry at our church off and on for the past 20+ years. While it feels uncomfortable for me to sit and pray with someone in time of need or healing, for some reason I am able to do this when I show up with a pot of soup or a sweet treat.
Over the years I’ve taught our children (18 and 14) the importance of breaking bread with friends. Yes, teens love to meet for pizza somewhere, but I encourage them to bring friends to our house and make their own pizza. Yes, I get endless eye rolls, but you know what? Their friends love to come over and spend time at our house because of the food. Life if hard enough trying to track down who your kids are hanging out with. Trust me, I am the mom who has no problem putting together a parent group chat to verify who, where, what, with whom, for how long, etc. What I’ve learned is that my kids have great judgment in who they choose to spend time with and I am so grateful to them that they’ve learned to involve food in the friendship process and even involve mom and dad from time to time.
Our daughter graduated last June and is spending a gap year traveling and volunteering. Right now she’s working on a husky ranch in Lapland (north of the Arctic circle) and before that she worked on an organic farm in southwest England. All of her experiences involve volunteering for room and board. However, this also means that she is living with young adults from around the world. She thanks me continuously for teaching her how to cook and she’s made so many great new friends by breaking bread together and sharing her culture through food.
Thank you for sharing the recipes your family loves. Know that in Arlington, Virginia the Eimas family enjoys your favorites as well… red sauce enchiladas, the brown sugar ham, brookies, banana cream pie, and the list goes on!
Warm regards,
Necolle Eimas
Arlington, Virginia
Necolle! What a great comment. Thank you so much for adding your thoughts to this discussion. You’ve given me so much to think about and I love how you intentionally raised your children and encouraged them to come to your house with their friends. I love that so much. Your daughter sounds like an adventurous, brave soul – what an amazing year this will be for her. Thank you so much for sharing!
Mel, I am reminded of the story of Jesus and the Loaves & Fishes when I read this post. Endless meals and treats have been made with your recipes and I am sure a good portion of those have been shared with others. How wonderful and even miraculous that you kindness and creativity has been duplicated into so many lives!
I love that correlation…thanks for sharing that, Maureen!!
I just want to say Thank You for sharing your thoughts with us as well as your amazing recipes! I’m simply amazed with your cooking talent and even more so amazed that you share it with us just because. I do NOT enjoy cooking; however, I do realize we NEED to eat and your recipes make me feel successful. Tried and True recipes are the best! I love your well-written instructions–they are so helpful to me. Thank you for helping me be successful in my home. Thank you for Ministering to All of us. You put a smile on my face. 🙂
Thank you so much for that heartfelt comment, Erin!
Thank you so much for this post and for all the comments that have been shared as well! It brought me to tears as I have reflected of my own life as countless people have ministered to me through food. It also helped me to feel okay about and even be grateful for my desire to bake and cook and share it with others. When my family was dealing with a very difficult loss a woman I didn’t even know gave us about 10 jars of homemade jam-all different flavors. She attached a note that she knew we were suffering and that what she had to offer in a way of comfort was her simple jam. Some of those jars are still in my pantry and they brighten my mood just to see them and remember her kindness. I think ministering through food feeds both the body and the soul. We all have to eat right? It seems like sharing food in this way takes care of that basic need and then goes beyond to lift our spirits too. Thank you so much for reaching out to lift and minister to so so many through your blog.
Thank you for the comment, Brooke! And for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I love how you summed it up: “ministering through food feeds both the body AND soul” – so, so true!!
I normally don’t bake. For some weird, odd reason I have been baking up a storm the past couple of months and taking them to people. Either people who I felt could use a treat, those who I feel don’t really get noticed much in my ward or just take some goodies to a neighbor I hadn’t talked to in a while. They are always appreciative of me thinking of them and won’t turn down treats! Even though I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes (5th time! Argh) and shouldn’t really have the treats myself, I have been blessed with meeting and strengthening friendships that I never would have thought about before. A lot of people really just need a listening ear and I am super happy to listen and learn more about them! It’s so nice to be able to feel like I have surrounded myself with good people and friends who truly care. Ever since we moved here I have struggled with making friends and whether or not people like me. The last year or so I have realized that I don’t mesh with everyone (and that’s ok!) and having a few good , reliable friends in my life is more than enough.
I honestly should learn how to make bread or something else that’s not treats because the holidays are coming up and I don’t want people getting sick from having WAY too many treats, you know? Maybe you can give me some ideas of what I can give people that aren’t treats but a good little pick-me-up I can drop off to people?
Thanks for sharing this, Nina! I just have to add a little hearty “amen” to your statement about having a few, good reliable friends. I was just talking to someone about this the other night – and I was saying that I would much rather have 2-3 soul sister friends in my life rather than 100 casual friends. So I hear you on that. I’m a small circle friend type of person (in fact being in larger groups or socializing on small talk/casual fun levels sometimes gives me anxiety). Anyway, I get you on that for sure. As for other ideas, sometimes I love putting a ribbon on a fresh pineapple or cutting up some fruit or packaging up some homemade granola with a small tub of yogurt.
A couple of years ago I started giving Mel’s spinach and artichoke dip with a bag of chips to neighbors for Christmas. It’s a tasty treat without the sugar.
I’ve been meaning to comment the day this was posted… the day you posted this I was praying for an opportunity to serve someone. I thought about making your bagel bread and pumpkin cookies to a lady in my neighborhood who had a new baby. About half and hour later I receive a group text from a gal across the street who was pleading for help from her family because she had lost her job and it was looking like her and her family would be homeless for the upcoming holidays. It turns out I wasn’t meant to be apart of that group text. It was an answer to my prayers without a doubt. So I sent over some cookies, bread and an amount of cash my family could spare. They were so grateful and pouring tears. Ministering through food is my absolute favorite. And I only give others food I make from your blog. We don’t know each other, but I consider you a friend! Thank you for this post!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Courtney! What a really cool experience…and total answer to prayer on your part and the part of the family in your neighborhood.
I found this post a few weeks late, but it has helped me so much!! I love to cook and (after finding your website…) feel like I’m pretty good at it now! I love to bring meals to people. In fact, I find it somewhat amusing because whenever I make enough of a meal to “freeze for later,” someone in my life experiences something difficult or traumatic and the freezer meal always goes to them! It’s like my freezer is too slippery and can’t contain freezer meals for my own family. So I guess I show my love through freezer meals.
Over the past little while, I have been feeling bad that cooking and ministering through food was “the *only* tool in my tool belt.” Like I wasn’t creative enough to come up with other ways to serve. There was some good that came from this thinking as I’ve tried sneakily inviting a friends kids over to play when I knew she could use some alone time and a few other small things. But reading your post has helped me see that ministering through food is not just my lack of creativity, but instead maybe it’s why I’ve developed a love for and talent of cooking in the first place! Maybe I can just increase my food ministering instead of trying to be more inventive in my service? Maybe I need to just always make too much dinner and “freeze it for later.” ♥️ Thank you!!
I love your thoughts on this, Jessica! Firstly, your freezer meal conundrum had me smiling. Those freezer meals obviously know they have a higher purpose than just being doubled to feed your own family! 🙂 Also, I like your thought process on not feeling bad about the way you minister and serve well. Sure, we can probably all branch out and do more in our service efforts, but I say if you know you’re good at something, stick with it! I definitely minister via food more than anything else…I consider it my own little love language. 🙂
This is the first post of yours I’ve ever read and it pierced my heart in a wonderful way. About 5 years ago I had my second tubal pregnancy in a year and almost died. It also ended the having babies phase of my life much earlier than my heart was ready for. My husband was in the throws of deep depression and other mental illness and it felt like life was unraveling. During that time there were countless friends who showed up and ministered with food and with their love. I will always remember two in particular that came with food, but just hugged and cried with me. One in particular came multiple times with bags and bags of groceries. It still overwhelms me with love to think about it. Thanks for this post and helping me remember. It will change the way I minister from now on.
Oh Crystal, I’m so sorry. What a difficult time you have (and probably still are) enduring! Thank you for sharing…it brought me to tears thinking of your friends who came and cried with you. So, so tender.
Wow! You totally get me. I have never been able to explain why I love cooking so much and reading your post just made me think that if I were to explain it to anyone, this would be how I would say it. It has always been one of my greatest joys to make someone’s day better with food. Thank you for helping me realize why. My family loves every recipe we try from your site. Thank you for all the hard work you put into helping us all be a little better at making people’s days better through delicious food.
Thank you, Cortney!
I really appreciated this blog post. I’ve been struggling lately with getting my business going and have realized that it’s because I’m focusing on myself rather than others. I’ve been praying to know what to do and the answer that came was to serve. Service is where it’s at. When you get out and serve, it comes back to you and you receive blessings. This being said, I’ve had to take a step back and ask, then listen and then go and do. But the last part of what you said about ministering in the home is huge! I’m currently homeschooling my girls and am trying to find a balance between running a business from home and homeschooling them, and then doing all of the other things that go along with running a house. But I need to remember that my girls come first. I need to minister to my girls and husband and make sure their needs are taken care of first.
I have had instances where I’ve felt I needed to take someone a loaf of bread or a plate of cookies, or just simply text or call and see how they’re doing. I’m so grateful for the Spirit in my life and that I’m guided to help others.
Thanks for your post!
You have a lot on your plate, Ashley!! It’s hard not to feel overwhelmed (trust me, I feel that way every day) but I love the reminder you give that when we serve, it comes back tenfold (even if we don’t see that right away). You are wise!
I loved this post! I’ve been reading your blog for years and years and almost never comment, but I love you! Ministering through food is an amazing way to show love! One of my earliest memories also happens to be one of my saddest. I witnessed a nasty episode of domestic violence one morning while getting ready for school. Afterwards, my Mom called her friend Nancy to help bring us to school. I was just five years old, and Nancy was one of the few people I trusted. She could tell I was still all tied up in knots however, and I did NOT want to go to school. So she took me home with her instead, where she made me pancakes from scratch, letting me calm down and hang out with her for a while. I felt so safe and loved. It has remained a powerful, lovely memory to me.
25 years later, my neighbor across the street had to be taken to the ER and was gone all night because of domestic violence. I watched her kids, who had witnessed it, and as sad as the whole situation was, it felt so good to be able to offer them a safe, peaceful home and a warm breakfast during such a scary time. It felt like a full-circle of life moment. The little things mean everything during hard times!
Oh my goodness, Rebecca – your comment gave me goose bumps reading how that terrible domestic violence situation from your youth (and subsequent tender ministering by your mom’s friend) came full circle in a way that allowed you to minister to your neighbor in a way no one else probably could have. Wow.
I absolutely agree. Food has always been a huge part of my ministering. I feel the love when I am on the receiving end as well because I know that time, effort, and love that’s put into the offering brought. And because that’s the way I see it, that’s the way I show my love. You’re a girl after my own heart!! Thank you for sharing your talent with all of us.
Thank you, Tiffany!
Food ministry is such a valuable part of community and of the body of Christ. Our family has been on the receiving end every time one of our four children were born. Our church family and biological family blessed us with many meals and treats. We also try to see and meet needs through food as well. I have used your Creamy Swiss Chicken several times in the past few months to bless other families! This weekend I will deliver it my brother, sister in law, and their family as they just welcomed a precious baby this week! Thank-you for being my go-to site for recipes. It’s the prefect website for finding family friendly ministry meals.
Thank you so much, Tanya! That creamy Swiss chicken bake is a favorite – I need to make it more often when I take meals in to friends!
Conference weekend i planned to make your cinnamon rolls- a double batch- a pan for my family and a pan for my neighbors with their son going through leukemia. I accidental quadrupled the first step of mixing 2 ingredients. I begrudgingly pushes forward with a 4x batch of cinnamon rolls giving me an excuse and reason to minister to 8 YW 16-17 year old (i was just called as YW Ppres this month), a family who just had a baby, and a siblings family in the next town. I love giving cinnamon rolls bc it’s a labor of love for me. The time from start to finish to commit and make it all and make them good. For me cinnamon rolls are truly A labor of love, so when I give them a minister to others I know I have added love to my service 🙂 thank you for always being there with amazing recipes for me to minister to others!
Oh my goodness, Kimber, you are amazing! Quadrupling cinnamon rolls is no joke. And I love that you used it as a good reason to minister to others around you!
My brother (who was also my neighbor) was in a near fatal car accident last January that left him in a coma for 4 months. I had a brand new baby at home, along with 2 toddlers. I spent my days driving back and forth to the hospital, trying to make sure my SIL and my mother were eating during their grief. I had incredible ward members bringing me dinners when I insisted we were fine, but I won’t forget those meals and how much I needed to feel like I hadn’t been forgotten in everyone else’s grief. That was the only time I’ve been on the receiving end of ministering, and it humbled me and changed my attitude about helping others. Something as simple as a dinner and a hug can leave a huge impact. Thanks for sharing and reminding me!
It’s so true what you said about something as simple as food leaving such a huge impact. That had to be such a devastating set of circumstances to deal with – what’s interesting about your comment is the friend-of-a-friend approach to ministering, if that makes any sense. You weren’t directly involved in the car accident but because you were ministering to your brother and his family who were directly affected, others ministered to you. That’s amazing.
Mel, you hit the nail on the head! All of this! I was diagnosed with cancer last year while I was serving as RS Pres. I had chemo every Tuesday for 8 weeks. The primary president brought me a full 3 course meal every.sing.Tuesday.night. for 8 weeks! And, I am talking amazing meals with amazing sides and desserts. She had a full time job, and kids as well, yet she still did this for me every week. That was exactly what my family needed right then and I will be forever grateful for her ministering to me during a really hard time! I also had many, many other people bringing me food as well. We had so much food I didn’t even have enough room in my fridge or freezer anymore for it!
That IS amazing, Melissa! What an act of love and service (I really, really hope you are doing well after that scary diagnosis!)
This is such a beautiful post and so true!
I love making homemade dinners and bread, cookies for others.
Just recently my daughter broke her foot and. A family friend who had just had a party brought
Us leftover burritos and cake from their event.
Sweetest leftovers ever!
Love this – thanks, Robin!
Our second son’s adoption was a surprise, despite being listed for 3.5 years, we got the call at noon on Sunday (away from home), signed papers, bought a car seat, drove almost 2 hours, meet him at 5pm and brought him home 24 hours later. We had 45 minutes at home in all the crazy to prep for bringing a baby home. It was incredibly exciting but very overwhelming. By 9am the next morning, after we had been up half the night with a baby we’ve only known existed for 36 hours, I had a friend drop off hot coffee and a treat for our older son and a supper and had a cousin drop off another meal. We had a lot of food dropped off that first month when we were completely delighted but overwhelmed at this new addition. It was the most amazing gifts we received.
What a sweet and tender experience, Diana! Thank you for sharing.
This post made me tear up simply because that is how I was raised–to bake and cook for others when they are facing life’s challenges or simply need a “pick me up”. Your post is timely, relevant, and I hope, heeded. Thank you.
Thanks so much, Grace! I appreciated your sweet comment.
Thanks so much for sharing! You are spot on about this! You are a wonderful example of so many good things. I love reading your blog and feeling of your spirit through your words. Thanks much!!
Thank you, Sheri!
How blessed you are to have such wonderful friends and neighbors. I had basal cell skin cancer removed from my nose last September. I was afraid to go out until it healed.
Right now my husband is fighting pancreatic cancer, stage IV. What I wouldn’t give to have a dinner brought over after chemo days. People that help out others are definitely angels in disguise, I include you, also.
Mary Ellen, your comment made my heart ache. I’m sorry you and your husband have had challenges hit you so hard the last little while. I wish I was in your community so I could bring you dinner. I’ll pray for angels to find you.
Mary Ellen – If you are in the Denver area, please let me know. I lost my father to pancreatic cancer 16 years ago and understand that difficulty!
I always hesitate to give people food I’ve made because I’m afraid they won’t like it or it won’t be “good enough” to give to someone else. But this post reminded me of a time when my neighbor brought me a loaf of cinnamon bread. What she didn’t know is that I had recently had gum surgery so I wasn’t allowed to eat bread for 6 weeks. But even though I couldn’t eat it, I still appreciated the fact that she was thinking of me and had brought me something. Plus my husband was able to devour the bread so he also appreciated the gesture 🙂 But even if I bring some food that people won’t like or can’t eat, it’s the gesture that matters.
I appreciate this comment, Stephanie! Thank you so much for sharing.
Mel, I’ve been so blessed to have you minister to me with food. The treats you would randomly bring over as well as the meals you brought after I had Addi were a much needed blessing, not only because of the incredible food, but because you truly exemplified ministering and letting me know there was always someone there. Thank you for the wonderful example you showed to me of friendship and ministering.
We miss you guys!!!
You know what? You are a treasure.
That was the sweetest. Thank you, Andrea.
A few years ago, I lost 2 people close to me to suicide and a relative to cancer all within 6 months. I’ll never forget the day when my new neighbor and visiting teacher at the time brought over a bag full of prepped containers of food. It had been packed so I had lunches for work along with some snacks for the week. Nothing fancy, but it was food. It was so simple but meant so much. I’ve always remembered that. I had told her I didn’t need anything, but having just a few things on hand made such a difference in my mood and being able to grieve. Food is a love language. Sometimes, you can’t fix or make the situation better, but food will always help.
What a sweet experience, Melissa (and so sorry for what you went through losing three people close to you in such a short time).
Hi Mel – I’m a little late to commenting, but am here! This spoke to me on a few different levels. First of all, I never really thought of sharing food as a “ministry”. But reading your post & reading some other comments, it really truly is a ministry, just like others. Once I grasped and accepted that perspective, things fell into place like a “domino-effect”. As most people do in life, at times you question what God has planned or want to know how he’s working. I’ve been praying for him to show me ways I can help others and serve. When I read your post, honestly, that was God speaking through you to me. I really enjoy cooking & sharing. Sharing with people in need is such a blessing to both!
Thanks again, Mel – your site, recipes and perspective are amazing!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Melissa! It really touched my heart that you are so open to what God wants for you.
I loved your message on the love language of food through ministering. I remember my mother fixing dinners and homemade bread for others in need. Sometimes it was a new mother, or for a funeral or feeding lunch to a dozen sweaty men who were cutting our fields of wheat, or a relative who just happened to drop by at dinner time or a visiting authority or just her family of Dad and us ten children. I too have had the blessing of giving to others, now it’s usually just my homemade chocolate chip cookies. I enjoy giving them to anyone who comes to our home. It might be just a napkin full for the guy fixing our furnace, or the boys mowing our yard or the volleyball team raking the leaves, or to my many grandchildren who come to play. It’s difficult to accept from others, but certainly a great blessing in our lives. I am batteling breast cancer right now and have a great support system from all of our children and their families. The cards, gifts, meals, help and love from so many wonderful, thoughtful friends and family is overwhelming. My heart is so grateful but it’s almost too much to endure!
We have a dear friend and neighbor She brings dinner to us every Thursday and told me it’s not negotable, she’s bringing it! She also takes dinner that evening to another mother of six children who is also batteling cancer, plus dinner for her own family of seven. She also makes me a big, beautiful cake every year for my birthday. Her entire family ministers to us in so many different ways and we love you for it! Thank you, my dear Melanie!
Love you right back, Carol.
I’m currently in hospice and saying a final goodbye to friends I love. Many of my visitors have brought a gift of food, mostly homemade baked goods, that I can serve to our next guests along with coffee.
There have been other homemade/homegrown food offerings, too, such as a complete dinner for now and another to freeze. We also were also gifted with raspberries from local gardens, and homemade soups – frozen red lentil soup and a tortilla soup. All were appreciated.
But if you don’t bake, cook, or garden, there are other options. One couple brought over a menu for a new restaurant and had us choose entrees, then picked up our selections along with theirs so we could enjoy a meal together at our home.Another friend stopped at a local bakery and brought the ‘scone of the day’ for us to enjoy as we visited.
All of these food offerings were given in love and eased the pain associated with the purpose of the visit. I’ll be forever grateful.
Wendy, your sweet comment was so touching. Thank you for those insights. I hope you are able to connect with all of those you love and who love you.
Very true. Our church used to do this for all the new mothers. Ladies would bring an entire meal for the family (could be every other day, too). What a blessing!
I agree, what a blessing!
Can I just say that I have been personally touched by your ministering with food? So when I read this post my heart just burst with love for you. There is a difference between bringing in a meal for someone who needs it, and truly “ministering” with that meal. I truly believe that you taught me that lesson years ago when you brought us a meal after our daughter was born. I knew there was something different in the way you put so much love and thought into that act of service, and I’ve spent all these years after that trying to emulate that example every time I minister when food. You might not believe me but it’s true. Thanks Mel.
Oh my goodness, Nicole, your comment made want to cry. You are so sweet and I still treasure those memories of being young moms together. You were such a dear friend to me. Can you believe Scott and Walker are teenagers now??
This pulled at my heart strings. I had a friend (I’m actually her ministering sister and we’ve traded roles many times over the years) just randomly bring me a pan of brownies one day. I didn’t need the brownies, but I so needed to know that someone was thinking of me and was concerned for my well-being. I’ll never forget it. I’m so grateful that I can serve and that I’m blessed by being served. 🙂
I love that, Colleen. Like so many others, you’re right, you probably didn’t actually need brownies, but those brownies were and are a symbol that you were not forgotten that day.
Your comments on ministering hit home. I live in Meridian, cooking is my passion & love, love your blog. I recently had knee replacement surgery and, like you, am very independent. And I’m always willing to help others but am very uncomcomfortable receiving help from others. After my surgery, my ministering Angels from church and other church friends kept showing up with flowers & food. Prior to my surgery when I told my 18-year old grandson how uncomfortable I was having people do things for me, he informed me that these people would be blessed by serving me.
Busted by my grandson!!
I would to meet you someday.
Haha, that’s so awesome, Tina!! Busted by your grandson is right!! What a wise young man. Good luck with your recovery! And I hope our paths cross!
Mel, thank you for sharing your thoughts on ministering with food. I have personally been blessed by others with food in difficult times and have given food to many others when they were sick or going through a difficult time. Thank you for all that you do and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Thank YOU, Mary!
I’ll be honest: I don’t understand it when people say it’s hard to receive. This might be a whole post for you to do as I’ve seen so many comments saying this. I love to receive. I love compliments–you just say “thank you…so kind of you to say”. I’ve never understood people who need to negate this or to deflect the kindness. It is part of holiness to accept the giving from others.
Wise words, Lissa! Not all of us are fortunate enough to have that mindset although it’s clear from this thread that many are trying to make peace with that side of serving. I’m glad it comes so naturally to you! That’s a gift, I think. 🙂
Thank you for this post! What a blessing it is to be served and to serve! You are an inspiration!
Thank you, Jessica!
I enjoyed reading your post as well as several of the comments. I too have been on both the giving and receiving ends of this. another way that this is a blessing is that it models to our kids what it means to serve and receive from others. recently one of my older boys told me how nice it was to see But I had good friends that love me well. we do so much for a kids, but it is also so valuable for them to see when we need other people. I am a big fan of your blog and I enjoy your non-recipe posts just as much as the recipes.
Such a great point, Lisa!! Such a great point. Our kids notice and recognize and learn whether we are the ones serving or the ones being served. Thanks for mentioning this!
Your website has enriched my family’s life in so many ways. Ministering through food (that is to say, cooking and baking) has not been a natural love for me, but since finding your website about 5 years ago (right around the same time I had my first child), I feel like I have come leaps and bounds. Your enthusiasm for cooking, recipes, and food has inspired and taught me how to bless others’ lives through food. I feel like I can say with all honesty that your website has helped me be a better wife and mother. So thank you!!! And here’s another way it’s blessed someone’s life: last year I felt this great need to make your white chocolate raspberry truffle cheesecake. Don’t judge, but cheesecake has historically not been my favorite thing in the world, and I had just had a new (and colicky) baby, so I was surprised by how strongly I felt the need to make it. I bought the ingredients and a spring foam pan and made it a year ago today. Right after finishing it, my best friend called to tell me she had lost her baby at 17 weeks. This friend’s favorite dessert is cheesecake, and at that moment I knew why I had made it. I delivered it to her home, and later she said it was the best cheesecake she had ever had. It was something small for such a huge loss, but I know and she knew God was sending her a personalized message of love through that cheesecake.
Abbi!! Wow. The cheesecake experience had me in full tears. What a sweet memory to share with your friend and something you both will never forget, I’m sure. The timing of that cheesecake was divine. Thank you for sharing that.