Let’s Talk: Ministering Through Food
I’m taking a quick departure from recipes today to talk about something that’s been on my mind (and in my heart) for a while.
Ministering through food.
{If you don’t have time to read the whole preface, will you take a second and scroll down to the question?}
Food is an integral part of my life (and I know many of yours, too). I mean, I talk about it with all of you several times a week here on the blog and on social media: sharing new recipes, reminding you of old recipes, and probably over talking how deeply I feel about dark chocolate and carbs.
But food has an importance in my life much deeper than just sharing a killer recipe or eating a delicious dinner or hiding in the pantry with my beloved chocolate chips.
And a lot of that is because I have been greatly impacted by people in my life who have ministered to me and my family through food over the years.
From my childhood, I saw my mom constantly serving and ministering to other families by bringing them dinner or bread (I can’t understate the impact her example has had on me). Also, due to my dad’s job in the oil industry, we moved about once a year growing up. Every single move and new house and unfamiliar town found us unpacking boxes and shedding a few tears because moving is hard; unfailingly, the doorbell would ring with another neighbor bringing over a home baked treat or simple dinner to say hello and start a new friendship.
My own little family (5 kids + husband) has moved seven times over the last 17 years. And while I submit moving is the absolute worst, each time, I’ve been overwhelmed at the kindness of neighbors and new church friends who have appeared, food in hand, to help.
Fast forward to the early years of marriage when I was having babies (what felt like constantly, and yes, I realize this was a personal problem :)), and I had an endless supply of warm dinners brought in to my home by smiling, gracious women who I could tell genuinely wanted to serve me and my family.
It’s been a decade, at least, but I still remember my dear friend’s amazing homemade bread that changed my life forever (she brought it to me weekly for at least two months) and another friends’ epic homemade pizza she brought over one Friday night (the same day that she came over unannounced with her five kids and made me sit on the couch while they cleaned my house).
Then a season of health struggles (cancer diagnosis, surgery, radiation, four very small children at home), and a friend from church showed up unexpectedly with a plate of the most divine cookies I’ve ever tasted and spent an hour reading my anxiety-driven toddler books (she was his nursery leader at church and the only person he would go to outside of me and Brian). Another group of ladies from church left a huge basket on my front porch with more chocolate than a girl could ever need in order to help me get through radiation. I could cry just thinking about it.
Later when I had traumatic, unexpected, surgery on my face for basal cell skin cancer, friends dropped off dinner (even when I acted like I didn’t need it and maybe a couple times pretended I wasn’t at home so I didn’t have to answer the door and show my stitched and scarred face – yep, they still left it for my stubborn, old soul) and others sent dark chocolate through the mail when only dark chocolate will do.
And now, to a phase of life where sometimes it’s hard to breathe because life is busy and hard and awesome and full. Brian’s had a couple major surgeries the last two years, and he also carries a huge responsibility at our church these days. Combined with his demanding job, he isn’t home a lot; his time is very divided and weighted. It’s ok. We manage (and I know some families have it much harder than we do). But yet, neighbors and friends and church members still minister to us without being asked.
Now and then women from church will just show up at my door with dinner for no apparent reason other than “I was thinking about you and your family.” The stubborn part of me initially wants to protest and say “gah, don’t think about us! serve people who really need it!” But in truth, we have really needed it, and their confident, sweet assurances that they knew our family could use dinner have seriously endeared them to me forever, forging a connection that wouldn’t have come otherwise.
I could go on and on. For any and all of you who have ever ministered to me and my family, food or not, thank you from the very depths of my heart.
There is strength in ministering to others…but there is also strength in allowing others to minister to us, don’t you think? It colors our lives with a profound, wholesome beauty that cannot be painted any other way. It’s hard sometimes to be on the receiving end. But the divine impact of ministering (and ministering through food) would reach a sudden, and tragic, end if it was always only one-sided.
While there are certainly many, many ways to minister and serve that do not involve food, I feel like food can pave the way to minister to others like nothing else can. Like my cousin-in-law, Tami, has told me: anyone will talk to you if you show up with a loaf of homemade bread. 🙂
Whether it’s an anonymous drop off or a scheduled take-in dinner, I absolutely believe ministering through food can change lives. It’s changed mine. Food is the gateway that can lead to deeper, truer friendships and possibly alter the course of someone’s life as they see, taste, and believe that there is another person out there thinking of them and choosing to minister to them.
A dear, wise man said this: Ministering means following your feelings to help someone else feel the love of the Savior in his or her life.
I’m so far from perfect at any and all of this. I struggle with selfishness and wanting to protect my time, and sometimes I’m anxious in new, out-of-my-comfort-zone situations. But I know because my life is so blessed, much is expected of me, so I am trying. I’ve been making more of an effort to genuinely ask in my morning prayers if there is someone who needs me that day and then *hopefully* showing through my actions that I will listen and follow. I don’t necessarily say I’m willing to whip up a batch of brownies to go along with the prompting, but I think He knows. 🙂
Sometimes the answer is very simple and clear that my ministering efforts need to go straight to one or all of my kids or my husband. Keeping ministering in-house is maybe some of the most important ministering we can do. Other times I feel a strong impression to reach out to a specific friend or neighbor. And of course some days I don’t necessarily feel a pull one way or the other and so I do my best to go throughout the day open minded and willing. And I always have my freezer stocked with cookies just in case. Basically, I love to show my love to other people through food. I just do.
I’d love to hear from you.
Be inspired by you.
Whether you’ve been on the receiving or giving end of ministering through food, I’d love if you felt comfortable sharing below.
Your comments are what make posts like this absolutely pop with inspiration and happiness! Love you guys.
If you are interested in another quick story, here’s the Parable of the Cheeseball I shared last Christmas that goes along with what we’re talking about today.
Beautiful post, Mel. I still remember with such gratitude the many meals that were brought to our family way back in 2003 when I had back surgery. Feeding a family is truly ministry. Thank you for enlightening your readers and giving us a gentle challenge to reach out and minister to those around us with the gift of food.
Thank you, Dani! It’s amazing how those memories stick with you.
I loved your story and there are so many wonderful comments on this thread! I seem to go through phases of bringing food to others, and I haven’t done it in a while. I made chicken soup this week and my three year old was suggesting we take it to a family who is feeling sad! That was a good reminder to me to continue to give and share because my kids notice and know that it is important to me. This fall I plan to make your caramel apples and bring them to different people!
What a sweet 3-year old! I love that…and it’s clear they were thinking that because of the example they’ve probably seen in their good momma. 🙂
My oldest child is currently serving a 18 month church mission. The first two weeks in the mission field were very hard for her as she struggled to adjust to the demands of missionary life. She was exhausted emotionally, physically, and spiritually. At the end of her second week, she and her companion were visiting an older lady. This angel on earth, when hearing that my girl was struggling, was inspired to go to her freezer and present my daughter with a jar of freezer jam. My girl was raised on freezer jam and LOVES it. When my daughter saw it, she burst into tears of gratitude. The lady literally delivered a love note from God to my missionary in the form of a jar of jam.
This is such a sweet story, Jamie! Little did that lady know the impact her freezer jam would have on your daughter who needed a reminder of God’s love so badly. Thank you for sharing!
Food has always been my love language but it’s been harder to accept it as a gift from others the last few years. We have a child with celiac and another that can’t have any dairy which means we’re very hard to cook/bake for! Even a speck of bread crumbs or flour can cause my son to have pain so it makes me nervous to accept food prepared in other people’s homes. I also used to love making bread for people especially along with a warm meal, but I can’t bake bread in my house anymore. I’m slowly learning it is better to bring something than to not bring anything at all, even if it’s not the same kind of things I used to make. Now that I am more comfortable with our new diet I have been trying to reach out again and bring people meals like I used to. I find it’s just as healing for me as it hopefully is for them. And those few people who are brave enough and kind enough to work around our issues have been very much appreciated!
Sorry this showed up as a reply to another comment, that was not on purpose! Mel, thank you for all you do! Our family is so blessed by your site!
Thanks for your comment, Sarah! I’d love your thoughts about what would be appropriate and best for your family in terms of others bringing you food. Does it help if people reach out first to ask what they can bring?
Mel – I loved this post, mostly because you are reflecting my own heart. I love having people over; spontaneously or for a planned event. It doesn’t matter the reason or the season; come on over and let’s eat! I believe ministering to others is the gift of hospitality – whether we bring covered dishes to friends who are recovering from illness or grieving; or whether we have an impromptu dinner for friends or family who need cheering up. It’s a gift, and it worthy of spiritual mention. I am sure your gift will continue to bless people in and around in for many years to come! God bless you – and keep on cooking and baking!
Thank you for sharing this, Diane! I whole heartedly agree.
Mel, Your heart is as wonderful as your food, Mel. The cheese ball story impacted my own heart profoundly. I re-told it to my family with tears streaming down my face last Christmas while we were driving around, looking at lights. And although the past few years have been tough on me physically, I’ve been more intentional about spending my time with friends and family whom I cherish. Cooking and baking bring so much joy and I’ve been pondering how I can share through food more. Thank you for sharing with kindness, love, humility and honesty. This gives me so much inspiration to share as well.
Thank you, Olive. I’ve been trying to be intentional about the same things…there’s so much inspiration in this comment thread.
I have been ministered to with food and ministered to others with food too many times to count. But, hands down, the most touching memory I have of being ministered to with food was after my young brother-in-law died of leukemia. His funeral was in the morning. We had a house FULL of extended family. Another young couple who was friends with my sister and brother-in-law prepared and brought breakfast for ALL of us the morning of the funeral. They brought an amazing array of breakfast food: muffins, an egg dish, fruit, etc. It was all delicious and SO incredibly appreciated under those circumstances.
This made me get emotional – at first just the thought of you losing your brother-in-law at a young age but then understanding what the service of that young couple meant to you and your family.
Good evening Mel –
With glassy eyes, I comment for the first time. As I enjoy you, your pics, your AMAZING recipes and your love for our father up above this post called me. I to love to cook, bake and give. I’m driven for many reason as you have your personal reasons. Giving via food in any form comes easy to me – my husband is on a cancer journey for the second time at too young of an age. Our first go around showed us as believers our social circle was way full of love, support and ways to worship than I ever knew. After winning that battle I told myself I wanted my journey to be faithful and give back in anyway I could. I knew my gift of food would help me in this journey.
Now that my hubby is on cancer journey #2 with this one being much different, my journey has be taken to the next level too. I appreciate you ever time I read your messages, I appreciate your honesty in your life and opening up to all of us your private loves and desires of your Christain faith. Your message above has helped me justify my giving of food is really a good thing and appreciated. I don’t mind the time taken to create flavorful goodness – that comes easy to me I guess. Maybe me commenting is an outlet for what I’m going through emotionally with my husband and people wanting to help us when needed. That’s a huge change for me – I normally take care of everything and do for others – and now I may need help sometime soon.
Thank you for your feelings, your honesty and especially your love of our God – he helps me make it through every day right now.
Thanks for being you!
Crissy
Oh, Crissy! What a challenging set of circumstances for you and your husband. Thank YOU for sharing your faith and love of God. How would we make it through without His love and support? I will pray for you and your husband.
I’ve never had someone bring a meal to my family. What a blessing to know people who are thoughtful enough to do so. When my third son was born, our sweet neighbor had an Edible Arrangements fruit bowl sent to our house. That was just so touching, something I’ll never forget.
This makes me want to find you (in a non-creepy way) and bring you a meal! Or some fresh baked bread!
I thought the same thing, Taytum. But what sweet neighbors, Mellie. It’s the memory of those acts of service that stick with us no matter what was given.
Feeding the hungry is one of the Seven Acts of Mercy. In my mind one of the most important,
thank you for your post. Good Job!
Feed the hungry.
Give drink to the thirsty.
Welcome the stranger.
Clothe the naked.
Visit the sick.
Visit the prisoner.
Bury the dead.
Thank you, Terri!
As I read through these comments, I have several different responses. Personally, I don’t want anybody to bring me sweets or carbs or Mexican food or pizza. I have also seen how people can be overwhelmed by food at certain times (e.g., deaths) and not be able to use it all. At the same time, I feel the love and concern that is being expressed, and that’s beautiful ….. So, my thoughts. Call your friend and ask if you can go to the grocery store for them. Have them make a list and you’ll deliver. If you have time, stay and cook a few dishes, or take their recipe home with you and cook from that. However, although I can cook, I don’t feel drawn in that direction. Instead, I have taken care of bill-paying, made phone calls, taken people to doctor’s appointments, and so on. And I believe that one of my gifts is writing. So I offer to write the announcement and obituary and whatever other writing might be required, meeting with the bereaved and talking and remembering and helping them craft something that truly represents the departed and the relationship. This is my gift and that’s what I offer.
I think that is definitely a valid point of view, Margaret! And it sounds as though the gifts you have to offer are so valid and amazing for those people you serve. It’s wonderful to know there’s room for so many different types of ministering. I appreciate your thoughts!
I remember when Oprah was still on daytime TV and she talked about this family that had quints and the women in her community rallied by doing a meal calendar and helping rock babies and she said, “Can you imagine if this happened everywhere for women?” I was a sassy teenager and was like, “Girl, you have NO IDEA what goes on around the world, so you? This isn’t a novel concept.”
When our son was born a preemie and had a month-long NICU stay, we received so many meals we ran out of freezer space. We also were gifted gift cards to restaurants around the hospital and so much more. I had never been on the receiving end before and it was HARD. But it helped me to love those people who served us because I realized we were loved by them. Not seen as pity or unable to function in our moment of hotness life.
Baking is my love language. It’s how I serve. Thanks for this post. You mail it every time. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this, Rachel! I think what you said about loving those people who served you was profound. A wonderful side effect of ministering…loved that.
I love this post. Thank you so much for sharing. I had a friend tell me that homemade bread is my love language. She is absolutely right. I’m certainly still learning how to minister, but I find it much easier to do with food in hand. Shy and private by nature, I hope my loaf of bread says what I can’t.
That is a great love language to have! Your last line gave me all the feels. I’m sure it does exactly that – bless you for getting out of your comfort zone to share those loaves of bread.
My doctor identified a wheat sensitivity three years ago. Wheat is a part of so many foods that we associate with comforting and ministering! I try to downplay my special circumstances and pass along treats brought for me to my other family members. I am so touched when people go out of their way to prepare something that I can enjoy. Recently a sweet ministering angel brought a loaf of homemade gluten-free banana bread with a flour blend she purposely bought for me. That stuff isn’t cheap(!), and this sweet act of love and kindness meant so much and drew us closer together.
I bet that gluten-free banana bread was an amazing gift. I’ve actually wondered about the homemade bread gift when so many deal with gluten allergies/sensitivities/celiac disease. I’ve tried to get that information before I drop off bread, but I definitely do feel like it is a sensitive thing and one I want to be aware of. Thanks for mentioning it – I need to remember to be aware of those work arounds!
Such a wonderful post. So often we see our friends struggling and we ask what we can do to help, which never works as rarely will someone ask for what they need. By bringing food without asking, you are saving them from having to ask. If i’m unsure about whether they will like what I bring, I get them a gc for their favorite pizza or dinner place so they can get take out. Anything so they don’t have to go the grocery store or cook. We all have those moments when we just need to be taken care of for a moment or two.
Gift cards are a great idea when you aren’t aware or sure of a specific need. Thanks for mentioning that! Even the most independent souls need taken care of once in a while, you are so right.
Oh Mel, once again you nailed it. This is such a beautiful topic, I read some comments and cried a lot because of the love people give and receive. Giving and receiving can be hard but we just need to open up more, be vulnerable, we all go thru hard times, we all need each other. Thanks for this beautiful space where so much love is shared!
I’ve cried a lot reading them, too, Jocy. There is so, so much good in this world and I feel inspired reading through this thread.
Your blog reminded me of how much a simple gesture like this means to someone. I had never had anyone bring food to my house until my first child was born 46 years ago! To this day I can tell you exactly what they brought. I didn’t know people did stuff like that! But from that day forward, I have loved sharing food with folks. It’s a great way to serve someone! One thing I’ve done is at Christmas time, I will make a large pan of lasagna and one of chicken casserole and freeze them and then give them to our pastor’s family. She loves it!
That’s amazing, Nancy – and a true testament to the power of ministering (with or without food!). I love that you still remember what they brought. Your Christmas gifts to your pastor’s family are wonderful. My dear friend is a pastor and a wife to a pastor and I know they can barely breathe during the busy Christmas season.
There is so much to love about this post! And so many thoughts running thru my mind about experiences regarding this. I think you nailed every point perfectly, right down to and ESPECIALLY the at home ministering aspect. This post exemplifies why I started following your blog many years ago, and why I continue to follow you. This is real life TRUTH going on here. I’m always checking my own motivations about the whats and whys of some of the content I view in the world of blogs and social media and you have stayed true to yourself and why you are here better than anyone else I personally engage with. You and your food always speak to my heart. AMEN is really the best comment from me. Thank You for your ability to share things in a way that really matters to people. I Love You Mel– Thank You for being YOU and for staying true to why you are here in internet land 😉
Thank you, sweet Helen!
Mel,
This post speaks to my heart Mel! I have always ministered with food. I think when the Savior said “feed my sheep”, He was speaking directly to me and have always thought He literally meant “FEED” my sheep. So like you, I try to ask who I’m suppose to serve. I admit, I don’t ask every day because that prayer is is ALWAYS answered swiftly and clearly ! The skill of cooking and baking can be learned for sure,, but some of us have an intuitive sense, and a gift when it comes to cooking and baking.. And whether cooking is learned, or comes naturally, I believe we are meant to bless others with both the physical, and spiritual nourishing of food.
Thanks for always “feeding” all of us, so we can “feed” and minister to others.
LindaT.
Linda, I’ve never met you but we’ve emailed quite a bit and I totally believe that you carry on an amazing ministry through food! I admire your innate sense and your priceless gift.
Thanks Mel! I think people who speak “food “ have a sweet connection, and an understanding of the way food blesses lives.
Our condo in New Hampshire ( or our house ) is still waiting for you and your family !!!!
Beautiful words! Beautiful family! Beautiful Mel! Thank you for taking your time to share!
Thank you, Pamela!
As a 5th grader, my Mom was in the hospital a lot, the church ladies and neighbor ladies brought us supper every other might for a long time. I needed help, and they were there. Now I take supper to new Mom’s because they need it! The food thing has been a blessing in my life both ways. I still remember the women who came with food, they helped me wash and change sheets, simple cooking lessons, and just holding us three little kids when we were scared because our Mom was in the hospital. They are all in heaven now, but some of their phone numbers are still on my phone.
I love how the taking dinner aspect has come full circle for you, Karen. The example of those women in your youth has undoubtedly impacted you forever! Your comment about those sweet women and their acts of selfless service to your family made me teary-eyed.
My dear Mel, what a precious blessing you are to all of us and so inspiring!!! You have no idea how you uplift a day and bring a smile. And with your food, it is just the icing on the cake. Thank you for being you and sharing yourself with us. Everything said is so very true here. I have discovered some people are hard to receive a gift etc. The Lord has simply told me to tell them this: “You cannot refuse my gift, because if you do, you will prevent me from my blessing, as the Lord will bless me giving.” And that is true. We all love you Mel…… Many bear hugs. Claudia
Thank you, Claudia! And I think you are right – there are blessings for both the giver and the receiver!
What a wonderful post – thank you. Your comment about ministering in-house really spoke to me. In-house is not only my adult daughters and patient husband, it’s me, too, and I haven’t done that well. I love the chance to cook for and otherwise coddle my husband and our daughters (when they are home or when I visit). Much of my work is supporting anxious parents, students, and – believe it or not – faculty who are truly worried about their students. I forgot to take care of me and have just spent the last 2 weeks on vacation puttering around the house, not speaking to anyone outside the family, cooking and doing those odd putter-y jobs like swapping out blankets and realized how drained I had become and how my giving back had become like a cookie without sugar. You are both blessed and rewarded with such a loving community.
Your comment is profound and much-needed in this discussion, I think! We cannot continue to serve outside of ourselves if we are worn down and depleted. The cookie without sugar analogy is perfect! Thank you for the reminder. I hope those two weeks were just what you needed to rejuvenate.
Love this and 100% agree it’s hard to be on the receiving end. However, I do love it! I’ve made so many friends from these random meal drop offs…
While I love love love to cook, my go-to thing to take is a potato pizza from our local pizza place (it is AMAZING…) along with some homemade rice krispis treats. Not the healthiest, but I love sharing it and the recipients always like it, too. Now I’m off to make some bread for our new neighbors. You e inspired me to branch out!
I think that sounds like a WONDERFUL meal lineup. I commented somewhere else with this thought – but I definitely don’t think there’s any less validity in taking something store- or restaurant-bought. There’s so much more to it than the actual offering. Thanks for your comment, Stacy!
This was such a sweet and heartfelt post. After I had my youngest son my visiting teacher brought me creamy chicken noodle soup and homemade rolls. I felt like Heavenly Father had just used her as His ministering angel to tell me that He loved me. I will never forget that experience.
No doubt that’s exactly what He did – and something you’ll remember forever. That’s what is so impactful reading these comments…the lasting effect of seemingly small acts of service.
Friends brought a meal and helped break up a police “random” stop leading into our neighborhood- back when the stops were barely legal. She had a sleeping child in the back seat and said “Wake my child and you may die” to the officer
I’ve thought the exact same thing about sleeping children. 🙂
LOVVVE this post, amen to it all ❤️
Thanks – this comment thread is golden with inspiration.
Like you mentioned, it’s often harder to be on the receiving end. But… It’s such a beautiful thing! Even if it’s only a sourdough starter and not the whole loaf! (Or, ahem, kefir grains).
I often get lazy about bringing or sharing with others because I feel like it has to be something 5 star and super tasty but in all honesy, I know a take-and -bake pizza does the same trick!
So, so true, Ellen! Doesn’t have to be 5 stars (but trust me, I get caught up in that trap too sometimes).
Two years ago my husband had brain surgery to take care of a massive cyst. 3 weeks later I delivered our 5th son after we kept losing his heartbeat and he came out with the cord wrapped around him, but alive! Then a few hours later I hemorrhaged and things got really scary for me. We just kept having one thing after another happen (car break down, bathroom leak, fighting insurance) and all along there were tender mercies brought to us through people ministering to us. The one that stands out the most though was after my husband had surgery on a broken foot (4months after brain surgery) he had complications in the form of a pulmonary embolism and DVT that sent us back to the ER. I sat in the parking lot with my baby(rsv season meant he couldn’t be in the hospital and we were 45 minutes from home so no one could take him) and just cried. I left my husband overnight and came home. A lady from church, who did not know we’d been at the hospital all day, showed up at my house with dinner. She said she’d made way more than they needed and didn’t really know why… divine intervention? Anyway… sorry for the novel! Keep ministering! You never know when you will be someone’s much needed tender mercy!
Taytum! Oh my heart, I literally cannot envision the utter chaos and struggles in you and your family’s life during that whole set of events. Truly it’s a testament that the old adage is true: when it rains it pours. My goodness. The thought of you bawling alone in your car with your sweet newborn has me crying, too. That woman had no idea she was such an answer to an unasked prayer. Amazing.
Love this post! It’s so very true, you connect on a deeper level with food involved. And I loved what’s your cousin-in-law said, everyone will talk to you when you show up with bread. I agree that it can be hard to be on the receiving end, I had a lady in my ward the would not take no for an answer and showed up at my house with her recipe book that she had me go through with her so that she could make us some freezer meals for after the ward was done bringing food when I was about to have my second baby. It was a bit overwhelming in the moment but I love her to pieces now and it did bond us for sure. I always get a bit of anxiety taking food to others too, I worry that they won’t like whatever I’ve made and then have to search for something different to eat last minute, etc. It’s silly but I go through it every time I take a meal in. I have to remind myself of my own experiences with receiving food and yes there have been times where we really didn’t love the food, and there have been times where we couldn’t wait to get the recipe and some of those have become staples in our house. And even the meals that we didn’t love we still appreciated them for thinking of us and wanting to help take care of our family.
Such a great example, Misty – I agree, that WOULD be overwhelming in the moment and it takes a special personality (both on the giving and receiving end) to press that hard, but I love that it forged a bond between the two of you.
Your story is truly inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing it and all of your amazing recipes. God bless.
Thank you, Kathy!
Mel,
This post speaks to my heart Mel! I have always ministered with food. I think when Christ said “feed my sheep”, I have always thought he literally meant “FEED” my sheep to ME. The skill of cooking and baking can be learned for sure,, but some of us have an intuitive sense and a gift when it comes to cooking and baking.. And whether cooking is learned, or comes naturally, I believe we are meant to bless others with both the physical and spiritual nourishing of food.
Thanks for always “feeding” all of us, so we can “feed” and minister to others.
LindaT.
Oh this post brought tears to my eyes! Like you, I’m much more comfortable helping others than accepting help. When we moved cross country earlier this year a few families provided meals for us. Those meals were a huge blessing! We could have gotten through without those meals but because we accepted we made new friends, felt the love of others, and felt at home/included in our new place. Love this post & the wise, dear man you referenced!
What you said is so, so awesome (and important) – you are right, you could have gotten by without those meals but the impact of them went far beyond just the food. I love that so much.
I am a huge believer in ministering by food. Chocolate chip cookies for the win! It just shows you care and shows love. It means a lot. It is my love language. Someone cared enough to take the time to make you something. That touches hearts. I have been both on the giving and receiving end in my life. Getting meals after having a baby is such a blessing! A plate of cookies when you are feeling down, just lifts you up. I loved this post and agree 100% with what you said. Ministering with food touches hearts and changes lives. So important!
Thank you for your thoughts, Jen! It’s the showing you care (and being on the receiving end feeling that love) that is so profound and life changing.
I have always been a “How can I help?” person until five years ago, when I was in a serious car accident on the way home from volunteering at my children’s elementary school. I was taken to the hospital via ambulance, and had a six hour surgery the following day on my elbow that was completely shattered. I’m now the owner of a bionic arm with three plates and 18 screws holding it permanently together, and am thankful every day that is wasn’t worse.
That experience was so eye opening for me. I have a very close friend who picked my kids up from school that day no questions asked, and held it together long enough to get them to my parents without showing the anxiety she felt, not knowing what was happening with me. I had another friend (an ICU nurse) who I didn’t know very well at the time show up while I was in the ER pretending to be my sister (I don’t have one) so she could get back to me and make sure I was getting the care she thought I deserved. My children go to Catholic school and we have a program called “Recognition and Support”, and the chairperson set up meals for my family starting the very day I got home from the hospital. Between that and other friends reaching out, we had a meal almost every day for three solid weeks while I recovered. Some of the people who provided homemade meals barely even knew me or my family. I had another group of friends pitch in and hire a maid to come clean my house from top to bottom. I don’t think it had been that clean since the day we moved in… she even cleaned all of the windows and blinds!
On the flip side, there were people I thought I was very close to who didn’t reach out. I will admit that this hurt and made me question things, as I am a helper by nature. I honestly assumed some of them would reach out long before other people who did, whom I weren’t as close to. I was at home with my children that entire summer because I couldn’t drive yet and could barely do any household chores including cooking. I was also undergoing grueling physical therapy every day which also hurt my mindset. After that fog cleared though, I came to realize that it had nothing to do with those people not caring, they just didn’t know how to help, or that I needed help. I am so stubborn that I NEVER would ask for help or show that I need it. When a few of them reached out and asked if they could do anything, I cheerily told them we were fine and they accepted that. I was not fine though… I just couldn’t voice what I needed or how they could help, because I didn’t know myself. I was doing them and myself a disservice.
That experience changed me. It turned me into a “doer” instead of an “asker”. I now chair the Recognition and Support committee at school and am the first to sign up to bring a meal. Through this committee, we have hopefully helped lighten the burden of countless school families, and it has been such an honor. But instead of asking a family if I can set up a meal train and help them, I gently and compassionately tell them what I would like to do for them and ask them when would be a good time. I try to anticipate people’s needs rather than ask because I know from experience that people don’t even know their own needs in times like these. I can say first hand that no good deed will go unappreciated or unrecognized in times of need by the people who need it. So be a doer; help in whatever way you feel called to help and don’t worry about it being awkward, not needed, or otherwise. And, you don’t have to be a great cook to offer someone a meal! Gift cards and meals from favorite restaurants are so appreciated as well.
My children sometimes get frustrated when they see me making a favorite meal or dessert for someone other than our family and they know they can’t have any. But I pray they remember the lesson behind the act of serving others, and learn how important showing grace is to someone who needs it. I think it is sinking in, as my daughter has renamed her favorite ham and cheese sliders to “Meal Train” sandwiches because she knows they are a favorite of families in need who have younger children. I also love to make food for people in times of joy and celebration; my kids know it is Christmas time when our house smells of sweet cinnamon when I begin baking cinnamon rolls for the neighbors. I have noticed that this is becoming somewhat of an antiquated tradition in the era of rushing around all of the time, having multiple commitments, food allergy issues, etc. but there are still other ways to show compassion in a personal and heartfelt way. I pray my children will keep this way of caring alive as they leave my home and go out on their own.
THANK YOU for this post and please excuse my novel of a comment, but this is so close to my heart and it is such a vital way of ministering to others. My mom was raised LDS and many of my family members are still active members. The way the LDS faith practices this form of ministry so very well is one of the many things I have always admired about the religion.
Side note, I would also LOVE to see a post featuring some of your go-to meals and desserts that you often take to others! My family and I are huge MKC fans and have been for many years. Some of their most beloved meals are your recipes!
Shaynee! I loved your comment. All of it. Thank you for taking the time to share. There were a lot of tidbits of wisdom to be had. First of all, I’m so sorry about your terrible accident and the horror of the recovery. I’m glad things seem to be better. I think that is phenomenal that your school has a committee in place for things like that – what a blessing! And it’s no surprise that you now chair that committee. Your comment to “be a doer” sums it up. I love it. Thank you so much for sharing (also the comment about ministering in times of joy and celebration is WONDERFUL)!
I loved this awesome message! Thank you for opening your heart and kitchen to all of us through your words. Last winter my husbands brother unexpectedly took his own life. Day after day people showed up at my in-laws house, where all the family was in town for the holidays, with food, whole meals, muffins, cakes, sandwich trays, boxes of chips, etc. some of them didn’t even say anything, they just walked in, set down the food, nodded and cried with our grieving faces and walked out. They just wanted to let us know they were there for us and food was how they showed their love. You are right, food bridges gaps and opens heart. Thank you for your corner of the world where we find good food to show our love in a better, tastier way.
Oh, Melanie, I’m so sorry about your brother-in-law and what that must have meant for your family, for the grief and sorrow and loss. I love how those sweet friends just dropped by without any fanfare and served without needing anything in return. Food DOES bridge gaps that can’t be bridged with words. Thank you for sharing.
I was pregnant and NOT feeling like cooking dinner. I texted my husband (I thought) to say, what should we do for dinner, tuna? I actually texted my friend. And she said, we have tacos can we please bring you some? Ooooops!!! I said oh I’m so sorry, we are seriously totally happy to eat tuna! She insisted and I sheepishly allowed her to bring dinner. This all happened like around 5:00 pm or something! And she was ready with dinner and a treat! It was really kind.
Haha, that’s actually quite a cute, funny story – but what an awesome friend!
I love this post! I love to cook, bake, and share. These traits I learned from my own mom who was a fantastic cook back in her healthy days. When one of us (4 children) wasn’t feeling well (either emotionally or physically) she always say, “Eat something and you’ll feel better.” Eating was only a part of it because as we ate and sat next to her, we spilled out what was happening or bothering us through a discussion with her. It took me years to figure this out. She was pretty tricky and yes, we did always feel better after that! After a bad day at work, I recently told my son, “I think more people need to eat cookies these days,” Many seem so unhappy and our world seems to be spinning out of control. Unfortunately we are constantly told that everything we once loved is BAD! I’ve learned life is too darn short. If you want a cookie, eat a cookie!
What a gem of a mom! You are right, she was a little tricky, but man, she really knew how to make that work and I love that it was through the food and the eating that the talking happened. Life is short, I agree – eat those cookies!
You are an amazing person. I found so much truth in your words about ministering through food. I love how you include in prayer who may need this ministering today. It will now be a part of my prayers and actions. Thank you
Thank you for your sweet words, Denise.
When my second child was born a friend dropped off dinner. I didn’t know this was a thing. But from where she came from, it was often done. Over 20 years later and I make sure to bring dinner to a family with a new baby… Whether their first or fifth!
I love that the example of your friend has impacted your actions all these years later. You are amazing!
This post touched me so much as our family has just entered a new phase of life that I did not expect, but now I am “expecting” my seventh child. My neighbor showed up at my door soup the other day before she even knew and the soup and thought brought so much peace to my heart. And it hits home to me so much as my own mother and grandmother have ministered to many, many people through food, especially their children and grandchildren. And countless people have done the same to my family through the years and I have tried to carry on the maternal example I have had. As mothers and women, it is natural to minister and through food. Thank you for your amazing resources of phenomenal recipes and keeping life real. I honestly look forward to every one of your posts. You have definitely ministered to me and mine and will continue to for many years, I’m sure. ❤️
Thank you so much for your kindness, Jennifer! And good luck as you enter this unexpected phase. That 7th little babe must know what a great mom you are and is anxious to join your family. 🙂
A few weeks ago my minister came for a visit and we talked a little about how crazy my schedule is during the week. I specifically said how on Thursdays if I don’t make dinner early in the day, it won’t happen. Of course I wasn’t telling her that for her to feel sorry for me, but a few days later when I finished teaching one of my music classes, there was a tub of soup and a plate of cookies with a note saying it was for my busy Thursday. It meant SO much to me and allowed me to get something else done in the morning that day instead of prepping a meal. I was so grateful!
Oh my goodness, I love this so much! What a sweet, sweet friend who picked up on an innocent comment and then ran with it (without wanting a lot of attention – just the ol’ drop and run approach!)
I started off with not fulling understanding as to why do I need to cook a meal for someone? I refused meals for my 2nd born child. Then when my 3rd came along I had a friend that wouldn’t take No as an answer. She lined up meals for the whole week! This changed how I looked at it, and never refused a meal again. I was asked several times but I never had enough food or confidence in myself to be able to cook something that someone would like. Finally I change how I looked at that too. Now I’m blessing people with meals, or just simple bag of cookies or a small load of bread. Even my neighbors who needed a meal after having a baby. Now I bake and share what ever it is. I love their faces of gratitude, of feeling loved, the happiness it brings to them, because of sharing my talents I’m able to bring happiness to my family and others. Plus you get to taste new things which is always good.
Thank you for sharing how your outlook on this has changed, Brandy! I really appreciated reading that and thinking about it that way.
I’ve been on the receiving end of food ministry mostly (especially since my cooking abilities are plain bad, at best). When my husband and I became instant parents thanks to the wonderful world that is adoption, my family and friends – and even friends of friends who knew of our situation – showed up with frozen dinners, casseroles, burritos, and even a pie while we were adjusting to our new family. What’s truly amazing is that they all did it again, 18 months later, when we found ourselves on the other end of “the call” again! I have always been grateful to everyone who showed us so much love.
Wow, Christie – how amazing that you are surrounded by such supportive family and friends. I loved that (and I’m guessing they would do it time and time again!).
LOVE this! Thank you for sharing and bringing memories! I love the spontaneous “you were on my mind” gifts of food, chocolate or even a new grocery store find.
I love those spontaneous gifts, too – so fun!
I’ve spent over an hour reading your post and all the comments…all through teary eyes of course! What a beautiful post from the heart. I love your emails and the recipes, oh my, I have many memorized! When I was going through chemo and radiation, I was just too tired to do my favorite fall decorating with pumpkins, mums, corn stalks, etc. I woke up one morning and opened up the front door to let the dogs out…my whole front porch was just stunningly decorated, far beyond what I ever did…my wonderful bible study group, got up extremely early that morning and did it all for me and left a beautiful basket of breads, jams, etc for us….caring is sharing and sharing is caring!!! I have several divorced friends, that just don’t cook for one….so whatever I’m making, I double or triple it and package it up and pass it on…those burritos are on the list to make this weekend to share…Mel, you are terrific and know that there are SO MANY of us that just look forward to hearing from you every week!!! Blessings to you, your family and to good health for us all going forward!!
I’ve gotten quite teary-eyed reading through the comments, too, Judi! And then I read your sweet account of your decorated porch and got weepy again. What an overwhelmingly kind gesture. I love that so much. And look at you sharing your meals with your single friends. What an awesome way to serve them through genuine friendship! Thank you for sharing.
This post made me cry as the spirit testified I’d the many, many times I have been blessed and ministered to by the kindness of sharing food. Sometimes it’s been a simple “I’m at the store, so you need anything?” to more complex dinners and desserts, but always the same, I feel the love my Heavenly Father has for me as His children act on His will.
Recently at the back is the Ensign magazine (yes, I totally read the back of this first haha), there was an article about Birthday Lasagna. Read it- you’ll cry. Anyway, I had my own “birthday lasagna” experiences recently as I had a miscarriage and saw the beauty of tender mercies come forth. A friend made me spaghetti, something I was actually totally craving, as I went through a difficult time. Another friend brought chocolate, and a sweet neighbor girl of 9 years old brought brownies. It was incredibly sweet and personal. Food connects us all! Thanks for sharing this post to remind me of the simple good I CAN do with a small plate of cookies.
Ok, I’m off to read that article.
I like this. I have been both on the giving and receiving end of food and both sides have blessed me. There is something about food. I sometimes fuss because it seems like we can’t have an extracurricular church activity without food but in reality I think food is what can bind us together. I know that’s a little different than taking a meal to someone but I think it can still fall under the ministering category.
I totally agree with you!
Mel…thank you! I love and need this…it is so true! my life would be so much less without you in it! Love you so much!
Yes to all of this, Mel! Sometimes I wonder whether it really make a difference to minister this way and then I find myself on the receiving end and realize what a gift food really is, both to give and receive! Thanks for the encouragement!
Thank you, sweet ladies! Jo, you are right – it really is a gift! I have to remind myself of that often.
I was having a really rough time with my last pregnancy. I felt alone and forgotten, but a wonderful woman in my ward showed up with a loaf of homemade bread. I’ve had many experiences with ministering with food (both giving and receiving), but this one really stands out.
I think what you said is what makes me feel like ministering through food is so important – reaching out to those who feel lonely and “forgotten” Those are feelings no one should have to bear for long.
I have always loved to minister to friends and family through food. Baking is my favorite thing to do, so I often will take bread around to people that pop into my head.. hoping that it can make a difference in their day. It has been a while since I’ve done it, so I should get back on that train. But it always brings me a lot of peace and happiness to take food and baked goods to others.
Love this, Erin!