Monday Thoughts: Will You Help Me?
UPDATE: I wanted to let those of you know who check back here for an update, that our sweet Holli ended her earthly battle with painful terminal cancer on April 2, 2021. I don’t know anyone who lived life as full of faith and testimony and love for God as Holli, so it was bittersweet and beautiful that she passed away on Good Friday, just days before Easter. Words are inadequate to describe the heartbreak of the last few days as her husband and six kids have faced this new reality, but her family has been comforted and buoyed up by the knowledge that Holli is finally free of pain and suffering, and they are clinging to the knowledge that they are not alone, that God is aware of them, that He will help them, and that they will see Holli again.
Thank you for your overwhelming support on this post and through other means for Holli and her family. Her sister and I read her your comments as they came in – she was brought to tears every time as so many of you shared your own personal challenges. She couldn’t believe over 1,000 of you chose to do something hard for her. It touched her in ways impossible to describe and gave her peace that carried her through her final days as she contemplated that her life and example might have possibly inspired others and maybe even helped change lives in some way.
We love you, Holli! Life will truly never be the same without you.
——–
I’m taking a little departure from my usual recipes today. We’re going straight into Monday Thoughts (never been done before). Just go with it.
I have some things weighing on my heart and mind that I want to share with you.
But first, I want to tell you about someone.
Her name is Holli. She’s an incredibly dear friend of mine (think: soul sister type of friend).
In all my years of blogging, I’ve never dedicated a whole post to a real, live human. Chocolate chip cookies? Yes. Random Friday thoughts? Yes. Special human beings? Not so much.
But today, I need your help. Holli needs your help.
It might not be the “help” you are thinking of, but if you have a minute, stick with me for a story and then a request (spoiler alert: it has nothing to do with money).
The back story: I’ve known Holli for six years – ever since we moved from Minnesota to Idaho. She’s spunky. She’s hilarious.
She’s a truth seeker and a fighter for justice. She’s an amazing mom to six wildly wonderful kids. She constantly serves everyone around her. To know Holli is to love her.
Amid all of Holli’s greatness, she’s had an incredibly challenging life. Not all of the details are mine to share, but suffice it to say, her life has not been easy. Intense infertility, adoption, countless (and I mean countless) surgeries for health issues related to colitis, job stresses, and the list goes on.
Most people don’t know many of these things about Holli because she is in that rare camp of: Fiercely Independent Non-Complainer.
Seriously, if I didn’t love her so much, it would be almost annoying, because she just.never.complains. That girl can fight through pain and struggle like no one else. (And yet, she still listens when I complain about my pigs escaping or my cookies burning.) #goodfriend
About a year and a half ago on top of all the other challenges Holli has faced in her life, after finding a seemingly innocent lump, she was unexpectedly and devastatingly diagnosed with stage 4 internal metastatic mucosal melanoma. This diagnosis came out of nowhere, and needless to say it has rocked their family’s world.
The last 15 months have been filled with immunotherapy, radiation, flights to Mayo clinic for consultation, more treatments, pain, and indescribable stress and worry.
(Not to mention six kids and all of their daily, busy, and often difficult emotional needs.)
Through it all, Holli has remained one of the strongest warriors I’ve ever seen. She has powered through horrific treatment side effects that would easily fell the rest of us, and has quite literally taken on the full-time job of fighting cancer.
She has not once given up hope. She has retained a strong and abiding faith in a loving God who knows her and has a plan for her.
Miraculously, 2020 gifted Holli more than six months of respite, thanks to a combination of immunotherapy, holistic treatments (gosh, I could tell some stories involving slippery elm gruel and tinctures here but I won’t), and a complete shift to a sugar-free and vegan diet.
Last month, things started to fall apart for Holli again. Sudden seizures, many ER trips, and lots of pain revealed the cancer had ferociously spread throughout Holli’s body and into her brain.
She no longer has the full function of the left side of her body and she is in excruciating pain nearly constantly.
And still. She continues to show more strength in her pinky finger than I have in my entire body and soul.
Today, I wanted to give back to Holli in some way. Sure, that can easily be done through their GoFundMe page.
But I wanted to also do something else.
Holli has spent her entire lifetime being strong for other people and using her inner and God-given strength to conquer her greatest challenges, but her body is failing her right now, and she is no longer able to do some of the things that you and I probably take for granted.
Fold laundry.
Braid her daughter’s hair.
Take a walk around the block.
Load the dishwasher.
Send a text message.
I don’t believe it’s healthy or constructive to compare challenges. Hardship and stress and grief is individual. It’s sacred. Hard is hard no matter what you are going through or dealing with.
But if I’ve learned anything from Holli’s situation, it is to look for the good (even on very bad days), appreciate the mundane, and be grateful for each and every day.
And this is where I need your help.
Will you do something for me? For Holli? For you?
Will you do something hard today? Or this week? Something that perhaps you’ve been procrastinating?
It may not be something that would be hard to anyone else, but remember: that doesn’t matter. Your life is your own.
- Maybe it’s getting off the couch and finally running that pesky mile even if you haven’t run in years.
- Or picking up the phone to call a family member who you haven’t talked to in a while.
- Maybe it’s just being grateful that you have the ability and motor skills to fold laundry today.
- Or giving your spouse or child a hug even if you (or they) feel prickly and unloveable.
- Maybe it’s finally ditching the three-sizes-too-small jeans hiding in your closet and buying a pair of jeans that fit your amazing and able body.
- Or saying a prayer for the first time in a long time (or ever).
If you feel so inclined to share, will you leave a comment on this post? Even if you aren’t sure you can do it yet, write your plan in the comments and we’ll be strong together.
I am going to plop myself on Holli’s bed and read all of your comments out loud to her. And let her know that there are people across the world inspired by her story and strength.
Holli does not like attention or being a burden or inconvenience to anyone (if you know her in real life, you know how true that is!), but she does feel as though her life has purpose insomuch as it has inspired others that they, too, can do hard things and be stronger for it.
My BeStrongForHolli goal: finally get through a 30-minute virtual cycling class without falling off and quitting and acknowledge that my body is strong and able (and also give each of my kids at least three 8-second hugs today – our home has been filled with contention lately and I need to be the impetus to changing that). Love you, Holli.
Thank you for letting me take a departure from food today.
I’ll leave you with the words of one of Holli’s favorite songs:
And I, I don’t want to leave a legacy
I don’t care if they remember me
Only Jesus
And I, I’ve only got one life to live
I’ll let every second point to Him
Only Jesus
I have the best readers in the world. Thank you for being here and for all you do to make this world a better place.
Our family loves Holli and her family dearly !
I am so amazed and how positive you have been through this obstacle Holli
You are a example to us all .
I am going to focus on pushing myself a little further in all things , maybe even getting my teeth cleaned on the first appointment and not rescheduling twice because I really hate going . But mostly I want to seek those out in need
Like the older lady at the store today who needed a hand , Holli the Seeleybunch loves you !
I picked up my friend’s son from school so she didn’t have to wake her other 2 nappers to go and get him. Love this post. And you. And now Holli. ❤️
Praying for Holli and her family! <3
For my hard thing… I'm going to push myself to go the extra mile and complete the long workout I've been telling myself I'm not quite ready for. But I am – I will push through it and even do the jumps!
I’m not a natural optimist, and for the next 24 hours, I’m going to be an optimist about everything. No negativity for me!
My prayers are with you Holli!
Today I will take a test I have been putting off. You see, I just went back to school to get my Masters in Counseling 3 weeks ago. I haven’t been to school for 21 years! My first test has been looming over me this past week and I was tempted to put it off until next week. After I read Mel’s post I knew I had to take it today to show that I can conquer my fears.
I read this post when it was first posted, but hadn’t commented yet because I didn’t think I had anything to say. Yet, today I realized it has affected me. I had been feeling very discouraged about my job lately, but the past few days I have felt more grateful to be able to work. I had been feeling very disappointed in an important milestone that will go uncelebrated, but the past few days I’ve been grateful for the hope to make future plans. I had been pretty lethargic about my prayers because I felt so distanced, and the past few days I have made it a point to start my day with prayer. Thank you, Mel, for the sweet post about your friend. It has already helped me improve my perspective. I will pray for Holli and her family.
I’m going to seek each of my kids out and really talk to them. Give them hugs and make sure they know I’m here. Prayers for you Hollie. ❤️
Mel, I never, ever have left a comment on a public blog before, but today I need to tell both you and Holli thank you! Thank you for the reminder that every day is a gift and each of our lives are precious and beautiful in countless ways. Holli, thank you for your example of trusting in the Lord with all your heart, even and especially in the crucible of cancer. You and your family will be in my heart and prayers, and I will be thinking about you while I fold my laundry and do my dishes and all my other million mom jobs (without complaining!) today. May the Savior’s peace and promises bless and comfort you today and always.
I find myself searching for the right words to say after reading this story and just can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said by so many that have commented. May Holli and her family remain strong and I’ll be saying prayers for them all. In Holli’s honor, I will strive to be more present in my life and will remember to be grateful for my health and the things I GET to do (like exercise, work, etc) instead of thinking that I HAVE to do them. It’s so easy to take the little things for granted.
Prayers for Holli and her family. In her honor, this week I will dedicate each workout to her to express gratitude for my body and my ability to to move, breathe hard and get stronger. I will put extra effort in to being patient with my small children who are learning and growing like me. When tempted to complain or vent discouragement I will think of two positive things about the situation instead. Thank you for your example, Holli and Mel, and for this challenge that encourages me to be a little better.
Mel thank you for sharing Holli’s story, and Holli thank you for being willing to share your story. It has truly made me stop and think about my life and all that I have to be grateful for. Today for my challenge I am going to choose to have more patience with my 5 kiddos who have been home now for almost a year because of covid. I am going to love every second of it and see it as the blessing it is! Also, when one of my children talk to me to stop and look then in the eyes and listen:) My prayers are with you Holli and your dear sweet children and husband.
I have been swamped in the “to do list” lately. I am going to slow down and focus on personal touches with each of my 6 children this week. I am going to think of them individually, rather than collectively. I will do something to connect with them, 1 on 1, if even for a few minutes. I am so inspired by Holli’s faith and inner strength to keep putting 1 foot in front of the other. You will continue to be in my family’s prayers. Hope you are feeling enveloped with love and peace at this difficult time.
Today when my kids and husband talk to me, I’m going to stop what I’m doing, look in their eyes, and really listen to what they are saying. God bless you, Holli.
Prayers for your well being ! I will cook and think of you !
Your story is inspiring! Can I just say that I know God knows you by name and loves you. I believe someday we will know the “why” for our trials even though we wish we could know now. Today I walked 3 miles instead of 2 and almost all of that time I talked to my dad (that’s not hard, he’s an amazing 92 year old) and my heart was filled with gratitude for the technology we are blessed with that I can still feel connected to him (he’s an Idaho guy) even though I live 15 hours away. I pay the Lord will bless you and your family. In my religious world we can put names on a prayer roll in a temple where millions of people join in prayer. Even though I don’t know your last name, Holli, (God does) I am adding your name to those prayers. May His peace bless you and those you love.
*Tears in my eyes right now.
Holli’s story resonated with me big time.
You’re right, our pain and struggles are so sacred and individual.
Thank you for reminding us to be grateful. Thank you for the invitation to do something hard today. I beat you to it, but your story reminded of why I allowed myself to feel the heartache I once felt and continue to feel. You see, I am trying to serve a community I once was a part of— wife of a prisoner— and even though both my husband and I had two young children at the time and were very actively LDS and the conviction came as a complete shock to us and he was taken from us for five years— life just simply sucks sometimes and we feel so isolated and lonely. Now that I am going to grad school and we’ve been reunited for two years now and have had another beautiful baby boy (Sam born 11/11/20), I feel called back to that dark time to help others through it but it So. Hurts. Thanks for giving me that little nudge to remind me we need to help each other through this hard life and it’s ok to do that, to be vulnerable. Prayers for Holli and family. Prayers for you. And thank heavens for food, am I right?! We made your shepherds pie this week. Amazing.
I was going to leave a long message but viol` everything has been covered in these amazing compassionate messages already. You two are so blessed to have each other and such a beautiful friendship. Few in this world have such a thing. My prayers are with you both. God is aware of the two of you and eternity will be such a glorious gift to embrace one day….. God and His son Jesus Christ love you both, of that I am certain.
I grieve for your suffering, but I know without a doubt that you both will be richly rewarded. Not just the two of you but your whole families will benefit too.
Love you,
Ruth
I worked out today for the first time in months. I had been procrastinating it and Holli gave me the the strength to prioritize my health and appreciate the gift of my body. Thank you for your strength, Holli!
I never ever comment on blog posts but this was a really beautiful and timely post. I have always wished I could be more like Holli and people like her. I wish that gratitude and an upbeat attitude came more naturally to me. This is a wonderful reminder that even if it isn’t second nature, I can choose to be that person one small choice at a time. Thank you Holli and Mel for your inspiration. It has been a tough year for everyone and on those days that feel the hardest this is the kick in the pants that I need. I will keep on trying, and maybe one day I can be like you.
Praying! What a powerful story!
Accepted your challenge – Conquered a major fear and insisted on the higher end of the advertised salary for a job I applied for, and I hung in there to love a few people who were being spicy or prickly.
I’m going to get up, drink a glass of water. Fold and PUT AWAY some laundry, figure out dinner and make some freezer breakfast burritos. And when I pick up my kids from school I am going to put my phone down and play with them. Holli you are now in my prayers.
Love From Minnesota
I hopped on this morning to find a recipe for some type of breakfast bar that my 10 yr old might eat on oatmeal mornings since she refuses to eat oatmeal (yes i’m catering to her but it’s worth it to not have her hangery) . Your recipes and commentary on life have saved many a day at my house. I’ve often thought we would be friends in real life. I am filled with happiness thinking that Holli gets that blessing of having you as a friend. God knows who we need and who needs us. I admire Holli’s grit and strength and faith. I also am grateful for your use of this platform to share her story and lift me out of my current state of mind – bugged at my kid for not liking my delicious oatmeal – to serving my kiddo and being grateful for a refreshed perspective.
It really is the little things. So when I fold my laundry and do the dishes, or shovel the driveway, I will be more grateful because I can do them. I will think of Hollie and send my positive vibes to her and her family, instead of wasting time being negative. Thank you Hollie for your inspiration. My prayers are with you and all that know and love you!
I am going to play with my four year-old today. I’ve been so busy helping the olders with school, she’s been left most days to find her own fun.
My prayers are with you Holli ❤️.
I’m going to keep on moving forward, even when I want to give up – responding calmly to angry teenager, cleaning up the mess when I would rather go to bed, basically choosing the best instead of good choices. Sending prayers and love for both of your families.
You are an amazing role model Holli! My BeStrongForHolli goal will be to not get behind on my laundry. While I am doing laundry, I will be thinking of you and praying for your health, strength, comfort and any individual blessings you need at this time. I will also take extra time to visit my Nana.. You are in my heart and prayers.
Thank you for sharing Mel.
I will…do something hard. In fact, I have something hard planned already. I have to go through my deceased husband’s clothes. I’m grateful to Holli for reminding me that I can do this. Tears are likely to fall. I adored him. ♥️
Keep holding on Holli❤️ Your courage is a powerful message to me and I thank you. I am going to listen with patience and love to my husband of 43 years. Sometimes I forget to fully love the person in front of me after all these years. God bring Holli continued strength.
I just read your post about Holly… Wow… She is a true warrior.. As a Christian I know all. Is in Gods plan…each of us have our own journeys some easier than others. I believe in the power of prayer. So Holly and her family will be in.y daily prayers.. I start my day with prayers and stop often thought out the day to send my prayers to Gods ears….
Thank you for this post. It was so touching and beautifully written. My life is currently a time of stretching, growing, and shoving myself out of my comfort zone. My hard thing for Holli is to sincerely listen to my children. They need me. They deserve to be listened to, and I know I will learn a lot as I do. Thanks for making me think about this, and giving me the push to make it happen. God bless Holli and her family <3
Dear Holli, “Only Jesus” That’s one of my favorite songs too! I love you! This week , yesterday in fact, it was confirmed that my mother in law has Multiple Myeloma Cancer. It has changed our world. She had compression fractures in her back which was just a symptom of what was really going on. Life is full of surprises and it sounds like your life has been chuck full! You are inspiring! You have courage and determination to keep up the fight! Please know that you are not alone! EVER! We’re all pulling for you and we will pray for you! Thank you for smiling through the pain! Thank you for your beautiful and amazing self! May God keep you close and may you feel His comfort always I’m going to do hard things! I just don’t know what yet.. but I will! Thank you for your encouragement! <3 <3
Mel, thank you for your Monday thoughts. I understand your motive is only to shine a light on the sister and friend who you love. In your love for Holli, you have given her strength (sounds like she is doing just fine on her own in this category), and support. Thanks for including her go fund me page very discretely. But a girls gotta use all the powers she possesses in times like these . We all need a boost here and there. You both are fiercely loyal and brave women.
I am a woman, a mother, a homemaker, a healthcare provider, and as of late, a Covid-19 specialist/warrior. I understand bravery, fierce independence, motherhood, loyalty, and kindred spirits. Take care of each other, we are inspired by you both. Love and light, Stephanie from somewhere in Montana (5th generation).
You are an inspiration, Holli! What a year to be fighting such a fight. It is a demonstration of your incredible resilience and faith. Because of you, I am committing to touch the little people around me all day long with more regularity and more affection. Less talking and more hugging. May God continue to grant you strength!
Holli sounds like an amazing person and inspiring. Keeping her and her beautiful family in my prayers. My be strong for holli goal is to call my elderly aunt and catch up with her.
Praying for your dear friend, Holli, May God heal you completely in the name of Jesus, Mel, appreciate you being so caring and love this idea, I am going to learn how to do a pull up in 2021
Amazing story. Holli, you are creating a legacy that can never be taken away- a legacy with your family, your friends, everyone who knows you and those who don’t. Thank you for the reminder to be grateful for every single day and to not complain. Praying for your peace and healing.
Hi Holli
I moved across the country recently to get away from an abusive so called family member. My spouse and I aren’t in a new home yet and don’t have jobs so we are feeling a bit displaced but hopeful. I have disabilities of my own (of which i have been told to just get over them and grow up by said family member) and have just been letting myself live below my abilities-and i guess just accepting that’s how things are.
But they don’t have to be.
Thanks for opening up enough to let Mel post this and inspire the rest of us. (Inspire me, at least). Every day I have to do things that are hard for me and I will now carry you along with me in my mind as I do them and fight to heal on my own. I may never be safe around this person. I may never be the person I once was before I met them. But I can fight and be a new person and still be beautiful like I see you are.
Thank you for being who you are.
For me:
I will not ask God to guide my footsteps if I am not fully committed to taking the first step.
For Holli:
When she sees broken beyond repair, God sees healing beyond belief.
I will be keeping Holli and her family along with you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. What a beautiful friendship each of you have. And for this exact moment, I will not take anything for granted. Thank you for reminding me of how insignificant my problems are. And if you will, keep my brother in prayer. His name is Curt and he had surgery due to immunotherapy complications today. God bless each of you.
Your suggestion to pick up the phone and call a family member who you haven’t talked to in a while really resonated with me. I have a younger brother who considers himself the black sheep of the family and he tries to avoid most contact with me and our three sisters. Usually when I call it goes to voice mail and he rarely returns a call. When I text I normally do not get a response. It would be easy to just ignore him since he has shown that he really doesn’t want anything to do with me, but I really want to have a relationship with my only brother. So, after reading your post I picked up the phone and called him–and to my surprise he answered. We had a really pleasant 30 minute phone call, which is the most I’ve talked to him in several years. Tell Holli thanks for her inspiring strength and thank you, Mel, for your suggestion. I feel like Robin Hood (Kevin Costner) in the movie when he looks at Will and says “I have a brother?!”
Hi Holli,
I can’t stop thinking and praying for you. I pray for peace for you and your family.
I am going to be better at doing the ‘hard’ things more quickly on my to-do list. The ones that usually take me days or even weeks to do. They are easy for others, but for some reason tricky for me.
Thanks for giving me the courage to do so.
That cloth diaper laundry I’ve been putting off for several days (don’t worry- it’s been washed, it’s just waiting to be folded and put away)- I’ll do that today. And I’m going to try my darndest not to loose my cool on my very sweet, but very loud 10 month old while he’s screaming and/or getting into all of my cupboards and drawers while I’m trying to make dinner tonight with my perfectly able body. Thanks for the inspiration. xoxo
Today, I took the time to visit some elderly people in my neighborhood. It is totally out of my comfort zone and because of the pandemic, they’ve been isolated. They have been welcoming certain visitors into their home and they were ok with a visit from me. This seems like something really small to most people but between work and family, I make time for these types of “social” activities. I’m inspired by Holli and the choice to push forward with hope. I am a fairly private person and wouldn’t want the attention either, but I am so thankful that you shared her story. There is comfort in knowing what everyone has hardships, some more obvious than others…but something good can and will come from it. Life is hard, but we can do hard things. <3
30 minutes on the treadmill today (that one stubborn New Year resolution that keeps stymying me!). We’re with you in (the) Spirit, Holli!!
In honor of Holli’s fight and strength, I’m going to be extra grateful today for being able to work all day teaching and then come home and workout and make dinner for my family. Love to you, Holli and her family. ❤️
I will never take doing normal everyday things for granted again and I will stop complaining about the tiniest inconvenience when there are people like Hollie who are so considerate and loving even when they are going through so much pain and so many trials. We love you, Hollie. Never lose faith. God loves you and has a plan for you. ♥️♥️♥️
Today I am going to listen to my teenage son with love and give him a hug. He is the hardest of my kids for me and he needs to know that I love him.
Prayers for Holli and her family. Thank you for sharing this Mel! You and Holli are both inspirations to me. I will hug all my kids today and try to feel more grateful for everything in my life—including my current trials that sometimes feel too heavy. God knows us and loves us.
Mel’s recipes nourish our bodies… the story of Holli, her family, and her friendship with Mel nourish my soul.
May there be peace……
I was lucky to have a best friend who sounds just like your Holli. Her name was Kristen. She also fought many battles and did so without complaint and a heart full of love and faith. To honor her and your beautiful friend, I’m going to stop nagging my teenagers. I’m still going to be tough, but I’m going to be more Christlike. More patient, more willing to look for and express the good they do. God bless Holli and those like her for their example!
I immediately sat down with my 5 kids and read books to them.
Prayers for Holli.
I’m going to follow a prompting that I had to take homemade bread to several people. It is totally out of my comfort zone but I’m trying to follow the Holy Ghost.
I’m going to smile when I fold my laundry today, and give each of my kids a huge hug.