Let’s Talk: Ministering Through Food
I’m taking a quick departure from recipes today to talk about something that’s been on my mind (and in my heart) for a while.
Ministering through food.
{If you don’t have time to read the whole preface, will you take a second and scroll down to the question?}
Food is an integral part of my life (and I know many of yours, too). I mean, I talk about it with all of you several times a week here on the blog and on social media: sharing new recipes, reminding you of old recipes, and probably over talking how deeply I feel about dark chocolate and carbs.
But food has an importance in my life much deeper than just sharing a killer recipe or eating a delicious dinner or hiding in the pantry with my beloved chocolate chips.
And a lot of that is because I have been greatly impacted by people in my life who have ministered to me and my family through food over the years.
From my childhood, I saw my mom constantly serving and ministering to other families by bringing them dinner or bread (I can’t understate the impact her example has had on me). Also, due to my dad’s job in the oil industry, we moved about once a year growing up. Every single move and new house and unfamiliar town found us unpacking boxes and shedding a few tears because moving is hard; unfailingly, the doorbell would ring with another neighbor bringing over a home baked treat or simple dinner to say hello and start a new friendship.
My own little family (5 kids + husband) has moved seven times over the last 17 years. And while I submit moving is the absolute worst, each time, I’ve been overwhelmed at the kindness of neighbors and new church friends who have appeared, food in hand, to help.
Fast forward to the early years of marriage when I was having babies (what felt like constantly, and yes, I realize this was a personal problem :)), and I had an endless supply of warm dinners brought in to my home by smiling, gracious women who I could tell genuinely wanted to serve me and my family.
It’s been a decade, at least, but I still remember my dear friend’s amazing homemade bread that changed my life forever (she brought it to me weekly for at least two months) and another friends’ epic homemade pizza she brought over one Friday night (the same day that she came over unannounced with her five kids and made me sit on the couch while they cleaned my house).
Then a season of health struggles (cancer diagnosis, surgery, radiation, four very small children at home), and a friend from church showed up unexpectedly with a plate of the most divine cookies I’ve ever tasted and spent an hour reading my anxiety-driven toddler books (she was his nursery leader at church and the only person he would go to outside of me and Brian). Another group of ladies from church left a huge basket on my front porch with more chocolate than a girl could ever need in order to help me get through radiation. I could cry just thinking about it.
Later when I had traumatic, unexpected, surgery on my face for basal cell skin cancer, friends dropped off dinner (even when I acted like I didn’t need it and maybe a couple times pretended I wasn’t at home so I didn’t have to answer the door and show my stitched and scarred face – yep, they still left it for my stubborn, old soul) and others sent dark chocolate through the mail when only dark chocolate will do.
And now, to a phase of life where sometimes it’s hard to breathe because life is busy and hard and awesome and full. Brian’s had a couple major surgeries the last two years, and he also carries a huge responsibility at our church these days. Combined with his demanding job, he isn’t home a lot; his time is very divided and weighted. It’s ok. We manage (and I know some families have it much harder than we do). But yet, neighbors and friends and church members still minister to us without being asked.
Now and then women from church will just show up at my door with dinner for no apparent reason other than “I was thinking about you and your family.” The stubborn part of me initially wants to protest and say “gah, don’t think about us! serve people who really need it!” But in truth, we have really needed it, and their confident, sweet assurances that they knew our family could use dinner have seriously endeared them to me forever, forging a connection that wouldn’t have come otherwise.
I could go on and on. For any and all of you who have ever ministered to me and my family, food or not, thank you from the very depths of my heart.
There is strength in ministering to others…but there is also strength in allowing others to minister to us, don’t you think? It colors our lives with a profound, wholesome beauty that cannot be painted any other way. It’s hard sometimes to be on the receiving end. But the divine impact of ministering (and ministering through food) would reach a sudden, and tragic, end if it was always only one-sided.
While there are certainly many, many ways to minister and serve that do not involve food, I feel like food can pave the way to minister to others like nothing else can. Like my cousin-in-law, Tami, has told me: anyone will talk to you if you show up with a loaf of homemade bread. 🙂
Whether it’s an anonymous drop off or a scheduled take-in dinner, I absolutely believe ministering through food can change lives. It’s changed mine. Food is the gateway that can lead to deeper, truer friendships and possibly alter the course of someone’s life as they see, taste, and believe that there is another person out there thinking of them and choosing to minister to them.
A dear, wise man said this: Ministering means following your feelings to help someone else feel the love of the Savior in his or her life.
I’m so far from perfect at any and all of this. I struggle with selfishness and wanting to protect my time, and sometimes I’m anxious in new, out-of-my-comfort-zone situations. But I know because my life is so blessed, much is expected of me, so I am trying. I’ve been making more of an effort to genuinely ask in my morning prayers if there is someone who needs me that day and then *hopefully* showing through my actions that I will listen and follow. I don’t necessarily say I’m willing to whip up a batch of brownies to go along with the prompting, but I think He knows. 🙂
Sometimes the answer is very simple and clear that my ministering efforts need to go straight to one or all of my kids or my husband. Keeping ministering in-house is maybe some of the most important ministering we can do. Other times I feel a strong impression to reach out to a specific friend or neighbor. And of course some days I don’t necessarily feel a pull one way or the other and so I do my best to go throughout the day open minded and willing. And I always have my freezer stocked with cookies just in case. Basically, I love to show my love to other people through food. I just do.
I’d love to hear from you.
Be inspired by you.
Whether you’ve been on the receiving or giving end of ministering through food, I’d love if you felt comfortable sharing below.
Your comments are what make posts like this absolutely pop with inspiration and happiness! Love you guys.
If you are interested in another quick story, here’s the Parable of the Cheeseball I shared last Christmas that goes along with what we’re talking about today.
I can still remember the meals and who cooked them and how wonderful they tasted when friends blessed us after the birth of our first. And who brought food after the death of a family member. It does strike deep.
Yes! I agree – those memories do embed themselves pretty deep and I’m so grateful for that.
I was just thinking about this the other day as I was delivering a meal to a family. Sometimes I feel like making food is the only thing I know how to do to help people. I’m not good at organizing big events, or offering sage advice, or doing the million other things that people might need. But I CAN cook, and I love to do it, and I figure, if this is my gift, then I’ll use it as my small offering to bless other people. Thanks for your always wonderful words (and recipes)!
Take that gift and run with it! You are right – there are so many others who are blessed with amazing gifts, too. It really does take a whole army of ministering “gift” givers to fulfill the act of serving others.
This summer my mom died. She had cancer, so we knew she was going, but it all happened so fast. Her doctor told us six months. The next week her hospice nurse said less than a week. My little family was racing down to be with her and she passed away just moments before I got there. Needless to say I was in shock and completely devastated. After driving home the next day I saw my best friend waiting in her driveway (she lives right next door to me.) She hugged me and comforted me and soon some of my other friends were there as well. They brought pizza and cookie dough and they cleaned my house while I rested. I will remember that day with awe and gratitude and tears for the rest of my life.
Joanne, my heart breaks that your sweet mom passed away before you could get there. I can’t imagine the level of sorrow you must have felt. Your friends are true angels.
Food is such a tangible way of loving (and being loved by) our neighbors! You don’t have to be a good cook to minister this way either- my boys’ favorite meal after our daughter was born was when a friend who worked at Chick-fil-A brought a big tray of nuggets with all the dipping sauces!
Mel, I would love for you to do a post on your favorite meals to take to people!
I’ll definitely get a post like that put together!
Hey Mel……..beautiful post today. For me, I guess it comes down to food being a universal way to say that I thought enough of you to take the time to make something with my own two hands that can nourish you in hopefully more ways than one. The act of offering ones thoughts and feelings through food is a timeless tradition that is sorely missed these days. I had an annual doctor’s appointment last week and baked some cookies to bring in for the staff to share. The very first comment I heard from one nurse was, “Nobody ever does this anymore.” The next comment was, “How sweet of you to think of us.” I say let’s keep the tradition alive……..one small gesture at a time.
Vicki – you put into words what I should have said! I love those first few lines of your comment. I’m with you – let’s keep that alive! It doesn’t take a lot of effort but the effect is far reaching.
Mel,
This is me, I minister through food! Because when you’re in that busy stage of life with kids, bringing in a meal, or sweets is the way you can serve. Besides it making someone else’s day, and hopefully taking a small load off of someone’s plate, it somehow always ends up making my day better too!
I totally agree with this! I always feel so much happier than I did before.
Thank you for this post. I have been blessed by the service of others so many times in my life! It isn’t always through food, but it’s almost always through someone acting on a thought to do good. Sometimes it’s a text, or a card in the mail, once it was an “unbirthday bag” of goodies, it has often been someone watching my kids when I couldn’t, and it has also often been through food. The most dramatic example was when I was pregnant with a child who had a congenital heart defect. I was in and out of the hospital often and I wasn’t sure what the future held for her. And it was hard to take care of my toddler. I knew we were in for a long haul once this baby was born. But with all of the stresses and worries I honesty felt most worried about food. Crazy! I know!! I just remember talking to my husband and being filled with anxiety about “how are we going to have family dinners?” I felt like I had to try to make tons of freezer meals that we could take with us to the hospital after she was born. But I had so many appointments and I easily had contractions and I felt frustrated and discouraged – I wanted to have control over food at least and realized that even that I couldn’t control. And then one day I opened the door to a delivery of frozen meals. My cousin in Utah had felt a nudge to send frozen meals to me. I’m in Texas. Undeterred, she found a company that delivered frozen meals and bought some for them to deliver. I seriously cried tears of joy and gratitude as I felt the Lord delivering a personal message to me that He knew my joys and sorrows, my tears, my fears, my hopes, and my gratitude. And He even cared about the little things that are important to ME. Even if they seem so inconsequential. It was another reassurance (I had several) I needed to completely trust Him and know that He was watching over my family and somehow some way it would all be ok.
Trish, I just want to reach out and give you the hugest virtual hug. Thanks for sharing this! I, too, have been in critical times of my life and have also panicked about family dinners and food and things that probably shouldn’t have been on the forefront of my “control” list but they are. I cried reading about your cousin who sent you those frozen meals – not necessarily because of the meals (even though, whoa, what a kindness) but because of your sentiments after that the Lord was giving you the knowledge that He knows you and cares about ALL the things. I needed that reminder today. Thank you.
This is beautiful, Mel. Thank you for sharing 🙂 I just endured an incredibly rough first trimester where the ONLY thing that sounded remotely edible was homemade bread. My dear, wonderful neighbor supplied me with many loaves and kept me alive for 3 months. I will never forget that.
Your neighbor sounds like an angel. What a blessing.
Hi Mel!!
YES!! Food is the best! Our moms club does a meal train for our new moms, and getting those meals was the best thing ever. I pay it forward to all the new moms whenever I can!
On a separate note I just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you for the time and effort you put into this website, and creating your recipes. My husband is the natural cook in our family, and one of those that can easily “whip something up” no matter what is in our fridge and pantry.
When I became a stay at home mom, I agreed to take over the dinner cooking because that just made sense since I was home. But I have never felt comfortable with cooking and very much need a detailed and non complicated recipe to follow. I would spend hours on Pinterest meal planning and trying to find recipes that seemed easy enough for me…. some would turn out okay and some wouldn’t. At some point I stumbled onto your site. I wish I could remember what the first recipe was, but I know it was good! And then I tried another from your site and another. And now if I’m thinking of making something I always check to see if you have a recipe first. I even got super brave and made your rustic bread… I can’t tell you the last time I felt that proud! Sorry this is so long…. I’ve just been thinking these thoughts for awhile and thought you should know your name is well-known in our house and my husband and I are both super grateful for you (the kids are still coming around)!
Brittany! What a sweet comment. Thank you! And girl, WAY TO GO on that rustic bread. I am so, so proud of you.
Dear Melanie,
Thank you for your thoughts and wonderfully crafted message. I agree whole heartedly that ministering through food is one of my favorite ways to minister.
You are a wonderful example of doing so. I didn’t realize the challenges you’ve personally been through. Being served is a mixed bag when you’ve always been the one to serve others.
Blessing to you sweet dear.
Thank you, sweet Pennie!
What a beautiful testimony. Here is mine. As a new mom of a very tiny baby after an emergency C-Section a dear friend from church said can we bring dinner. At first I said no and she explained to me that this is what we do! And can I say the meals and prayers were amazing! With baby #2 we were in a neighborhood with a large play group as well as mom’s group from church. I gladly accepted dinner and prayers as I chased a toddler and recovered from another C-section. And in return I cooked and baked for others who had babies or had surgery. This week I was able to cook for a dear dear friend who very suddenly lost her mom last week. I was so happy to know here family would be fed several meals and just be able to grieve and do what needed to be done without worry of cooking. Today there is butter on the counter softening because college break is this weekend and not even my kids but they are coming home as freshman after being away for the first time from their normal life. The fact that I can whip up a batch of Triple Chip Cookies! Makes me smile. And the hugs will be the best thank you ever. Thank you for sharing from the heart and helping us make yummy creations to minister to others.
Thank you for sharing, Helen! From reading all these comments, the thing I love most is how this serving (sometimes through food, sometimes not) comes full circle. Bless you for continuing the service.
Amen, Mel! I have 4 kids and was on bedrest for 5 months during my last pregnancy, plus another 6 weeks after because of complications with the delivery. I’m sure you can picture 3 little boys, 5 and under, running around while Mommy “rests.” Friends brought us meals for weeks on end, and one dear friend made dinner every Tuesday for us for 5 months! Six years later, when I was diagnosed with cancer, they did it all over again. I can never repay the debt to those saints who blessed us over and over, but I will always remember their kindness, especially whenever I have a chance to bless someone in that tangible way.
Oh dear, Jennifer, I CAN picture that and the image has me alternately laughing and cringing! I’m so sorry for the trials you have faced – it sounds like you are surrounded by an army of angels, and I have no doubt you are picking up where they left off to serve others.
Thanks for your post Mel. When we were young we were close friends with three other couples. As the years passed our families grew up, then two of the couples retired & moved far away. My dear friend who still lived nearby developed cancer. I knew if the other two gals were close they also would want to take dinners in, but they were not. So I took dinner to my friend once a week for several months before a God took her home. I always felt I was doing the kindness not only from myself, but from the other two friends as well. We are blessed to have friendships that have lasted more than 50 years, even tho we are scattered now!
I have been on the receiving end several times through the years and always am so thankful. I try to take food whenever a friend has lost a loved one, and when friends are ill. It’s just the right thing to do…and that’s how I wa
Chali – your comment was so heartfelt and so precious. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend, but what a blessing you were, undoubtedly, in her life until she passed away. I love how you viewed it as an act of service from you and your other friends who couldn’t be there. What an amazingly beautiful long lasting friendship.
This made me a bit weepy. There are so many good people in the world and I want to be on their team. You are on their team, Mel! Thanks for sharing.
I totally agree, Lindsay! So inspired reading these comments. So, so inspired.
Mel, I can totally relate to everything you’ve expressed here! There was a time in my life when I had to be on the receiving end of others ministering to our family… it was SO hard! However, I knew that my family was being taken care of through the kind acts of others, which included food and cleaning my house for about 2 months! I will forever remember their kindness and have been on their end of giving countless times throughout my life, for which I am grateful for as well.
Another wise man said, “God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs.” SWK… one of my favorite quotes.
Food does form bonds that seem to be unbreakable! I brought homemade banana bread to a friend that I ministered to. To this day she remembers me for that banana bread and makes it herself all the time. That was over 25 years ago! Along with that I remember who brought it to me when our first child was born 40 years ago! I even got in contact with her not too long ago through Facebook.
Food can work wonders. I think it’s one of the reasons I love your blog. You have recipes that are real for family life and for ministering to others around you. Thank you!!!
Thank you for sharing, Sandy! Loved every word of it. It’s amazing to still be able to remember those ministering/food memories decades later. Love all of this so much.
December 30 2018 I lost my husband of 50 years. Just 2 weeks shy of 51. He was my first date, at 14, my first kiss and my only love. He struggled with health problems for many years. After he was gone, I was so lost. Couldn’t eat, what was the point, didn’t want or know how to cook for one. I missed him terribly, still do. But every once in a while someone would ring my doorbell and say, I had this much soup left over. Enough for you, but not a family. My Bishop and his wife came one night and had been to my favorite restaurant and had a take home box that they left for me.
But the thing that has meant the most to me is my son, daughter in law and two grandkids asked me to plan on Sunday dinner at their home each week. I am assigned dessert each week.
Young Women groups have come to visit and leave cookies, neighbors have made mini loaves of banana bread or pumpkin bread. It means so much to know that my world has not really ended, that someone remembers I am still here.,
Meriam – thank you for sharing such tender feelings. My heart aches for your loss and your loneliness, but what you said speaks volumes and is a true testament of why all this matters – because it’s allowing the person being served to remember they are not alone, that they are still needed, and that they are cared about. I am so glad you are surrounded by angels.
Absolutely 100% agree with you. When my Dad passed away suddenly a friend brought a blueberry crumble pie and I ate half of it alone for breakfast. It was such comfort food. Thank you for sharing your recipes!
Comfort foods have a way of healing, for sure. Thank you, Jana!
I have been blessed by friends who have given me meals when needed, and I love to cook for people. I am in a season where I barely feel like I have time to cook complete meals for my family more than a couple of days per week. In addition, I used to be able to easily double a recipe – Our family could eat one portion over one or even two meals and then I could give one away. Now, I often have to double a recipe just to feed my family for one night. I loved the freezer burrito recipe you recently posted. I quickly gave one batch to a friend I’d been wanting to cook for and hadn’t found time. I love that I have more for my family or to share. I would love for you to post more recipes that are freezer friendly so that I can respond quickly to needs.
Oh Mel, just when I think I could not love you more you post something like this!! This REALLY resonates with me. I can remember a few different times where food was part of being ministered to one time was when I was postpartum and having a gnarly recovery and a close friend brought me your freezer burritos and your recipe for quick blender salsa and it was the best thing I’d ever eaten and a huge relief to me and the handful of people who were helping care for me. A bit after that period a woman in my neighborhood I didn’t know well delivered a loaf of her family’s famous quick bread recipe which was like you said an amazing gateway. The bread wasn’t even a combination that our family really liked but this woman had a special spiritual gift and shared some really impactful insight with me and delivering that loaf of bread was avenue with which she had the opportunity to be an answer to my prayer. God works in mysterious ways and considering we need to eat multiple times a day it seems likely that He can often work through opportunities to share food with one another.
Thanks for all you do here. We love your recipes and I love when you take the time to share more of yourself like this. It feels like I get a chance to have a good conversation with a friend when those opportunities are few and far between right now.
Miranda – love what you shared! And this comment thread has been exactly how you described – a way for me to feel as though I’m having some heart to heart chats with people I love best. That’s probably kind of messed up since I don’t know many of you in real life, but man, I sure appreciate you. It’s so true what you said – it’s not necessarily always about the food. Instead it’s everything that comes along with it which is different in every situation. But reading here how so many people have formed long lasting bonds with those new, maybe even kind of awkward encounters is inspiring.
Thank you, Kelley! I’ll definitely try to post more freezer friendly recipes!
Mel, I so agree! Growing up, my parents got divorced and friends would bring meals for us when my mom was in some dark days. Sometimes they literally left groceries for us because that’s what we needed. Fast forward to having two sets of twins in two years, and someone could have dropped off Cheerios in a bowl with some milk and I’d have been delirious with joy! People did so much more than Cheerios of course, with meals for a couple of months at a time. Bring home bound more often than I wanted – with all those nap schedules to keep – I realized that my gift of help and ministering to others was to make meals for them. I couldn’t keep their kids, or clean their house, or move boxes in that season of life, but I could double what I was cooking and make desserts (almost all exclusively from your site!) after babies were sleeping. It was and is such a huge gift (and yes, hard to receive) when people brought us food. I love doing that for others, and I’ve found it’s a great way to make a connection with new folks or those whom I didn’t know well before that meal drop off. Thanks for sharing from the heart! I’m with you! ❤️
Haha, Lynn – you made me laugh with your cheerios comment even though I’m sure it was all too true! Two sets of twins in two years. That makes me tired just thinking about it. I love that you were able to identify how to share the gift of food with others in a busy, busy season of your own life.
In the folder of emails I receive daily, whether craft blogs, health blogs, school information, recipes, etc., this one really moved and inspired me. Thank you for sharing the thoughts in your heart. I was born and raised in the church, but I no longer attend because at least here in the South, church seems to have become synonymous with socioeconomic status and insincerity. But one of the loves I have always kept with me is the act of service, genuine service, do-it-from-your-heart type of service. I suppose calling it ministry is appropriate. Having always believed our greatest treasure is in giving, I too am big into the bread (your recipe) baking, just because, or feeding my hungry students in high school as a treat. I can certainly relate to the kindness of others during surgeries as I had five in a row two years ago and I have six children. It doesn’t take much to be a good human being. Anyway, thanks for your positive thoughts and your wonderful recipes. Bravo!
Thank you for sharing, Helen! Thank you so much. What you said about our greatest treasure is in giving really resonated with me. You are wonderful. Thank you!
Food is my love language. I love to show my love by baking or cooking for others. Because of this, many comment to me that they’re not good enough bakers, cooks to share with me and my family. Having said that, after staying with my siblings by our moms side at the hospital for five days before she passed away…we all returned to my home to find a complete dinner waiting for us including the best homemade rolls we had ever eaten. We hadn’t asked for help, my friends served us the best way they knew how at that difficult time and that was by bringing us dinner. Those friends didn’t know my mom had passed. They were inspired to go and do and because of that, their service as well as that meal was the first taste of healing after such a sudden loss!
Thank you for sharing that, Kristie! How amazing to have such in tune friends during such a difficult time.
After having a babies or after the loss of a loved one-friends and church family have brought meals. I like to randomly drop a favorite coffee drink off at other mom friends houses with a note and text them as I drive off. I know we are all busy but here’s a cup to help you through the day (I make a note of their favorite style of drink and get that when I’ve got gift cards or a free drink points).
I’ll say this- we just moved across the country and landed in a new to us house. We’ve got little kids and out of state license plates, only a couple of neighbors have briefly said hello and introduced themselves, not come over to chat or play when we are out- and none, not one, has brought a treat or meal over to say hello and welcome. We moved to the south and I was excited for southern hospitality but it’s not happening and I’ve told my husband it hurts a bit. Clearly being new to the area and no one saying “welcome!” And ultimately it has convicted me to keep an eye out for the other new families that are certain to move in near us one day and take something over to say “welcome!” Even if we don’t get to talk long because just knowing someone sees you means so much when you’re the new family on the block.
I think that is so awesome that you make note of your friends’ favorite drinks and use that as a way to serve. Love that so much! I need to do better at that. I’m so sorry that your welcome has been less than enthusiastic. Such a bummer! You will undoubtedly be an answer to someone else’s loneliness or prayers as you look for those ways to reach out to new neighbors. You’re amazing. Keep it up!
Love this post Mel because it rings so true to my heart! I love to minister through food, in fact that’s how I’ve done it for as long as I can remember! Every sister I’ve ever visited/ministered to has loved being on the receiving end of my treats/meals. And of course, I love when I’m on the receiving end. Who wouldn’t, right?! ❤️
So true!
Mel, you are such a blessing to so many. I love to minister with food, and I’ve often had the thought that maybe it doesn’t count, maybe it’s not real ministering. This post has reminded me who those thoughts come from, and that they are not true. Food is my favorite way to show my love for someone. It is kind and it is giving and it is generous, and gosh darn it, I’m going to keep doing it and doing better. For the last few months I’ve struggled at how much ministering has been required of me and my family. My husband is also the Bishop and it’s a heavy load sometimes. This past month or so I’ve felt such a transformation in my view about this. We are incredibly blessed and it’s wonderful to be in a season of giving, loving, and ministering. I’m repenting and doing better! This morning I had the thought to make cookies for a person in my ward. After crying through this post (good tears!), I’m going to get right on that.
You are right, Madison – those thoughts have no value, and I’m glad you realize that because I have no doubt you are doing amazing things as you minister with (or without) food! Thank you for helping me also change my perspective on this, too. I needed your words and appreciate them so much!
I think it is so important to find ways to minister to others and love that you emphasized ministering to your own family. My favorite example of this was when I was first married and still in college. It was finals week and for one of my final presentations, I had to make a lot of cookies—some with extra salt in them—for a demonstration for the class. I finished a final for a different class late one night and started walking home, discouraged that when I got home I would need to start making the salty cookies for my class the next day. As I walked up to my house, I looked through the kitchen window and say my husband whistling and making cookies. I cried. He was aware of me and, even though he also had a busy day of finals, chose to lighten my load. A great example to me that even though we may be busy, we can make time to minister.
Mari – of all the amazing comments I’ve read in the last couple hours, this one just struck me as so sweet and tender. Thank you for sharing!
Mel, I loved this share today! I am in the process of trying to get a group of women in our very small church to start this type of ministry. I watched my mother and MIL do these types of things and immediately always think of the foods or dinners I could make to bless a woman who is struggling with issues like this and help her feed her family as she goes through trials and tribulations. I’m an 18 year cancer survivor myself and was in a huge church during that crises and not one person offered me this service. It would have helped me out so much during that bilateral mastectomy, reconstruction and getting back to work. I learned that during that time I had to ASK those who said, “How can I help?” They truly wanted to do something but didn’t know what to do. I never asked for “meals” but I did allow others to help and I believe they were blessed by the helping. I am always the STRONG woman who helps others but I was really struggling at that time. The takeaway for me is that I know it is a help if you can do this for others — be a treat, a meal, a loaf of bread — whatever! This makes me certain that now I really need to pitch this idea to my women’s group because I have always thought it odd we didn’t do this. Thanks for the push — You were God’s nudge to me today!
Your comment is invaluable and so insightful, Tami. Thank you! I hope you are able to get this off the ground with the women at your church. I love the idea and I hope you’ll keep me posted!
I have a dear friend who will turn 100 in two weeks! Whenever I make soup, spaghetti or shrimp (her favorites), she always love when I share. It brings me pleasure and nourishes her at the same time. Just a simple way to show her I love her!
This made me smile, Eleanor!
Mel, Thank you for sharing. I feel the same as you. Over the years much help & Ministering from others has come my way. I try to do my best also.
Keep up the great work you do.
Thank you, Jeanene!
Our church sets up meal trains for families who have new/newly adopted children, as well as for post surgery. Having those meals brought over after family was gone and we were struggling with a new baby and no sleep… that was amazing! My favourite thing to bring is a container of homemade spaghetti sauce (my recipe makes a lot!!), along with a box of spaghetti, a salad kit, a loaf of French bread, and a plate of brownies or banana bread. We have also done chili and a frozen pasta casserole. Sometimes just knowing you can pull something out and have very little prep or thought of supper really helps. Do you have a section in your recipe search for easily shareable meals?
Thanks for sharing today!
Your spaghetti “kit” is brilliant! I love that idea! I’m going to get a post/section up with some great take-in meals as it seems like we could all use a little inspiration on the matter! 🙂
Precious post and oh so true! Truly appreciate the encouragement to think beyond “new baby” and funerals as opportunities to minister through food. And yes, many times the food opens doors to other opportunities to minister.
A couple of years after my last baby was born, I found myself taking meals to many people – illness, new baby, moving, you name it! For one stretch of several months, I was taking at least one meal a week! That was such a financial stretch for our young family of six during the worst of the Great Recession, when my own husband had taken a pay cut. I found myself selfishly thinking, “when am I ever going to reap any of this?! I’m not having babies anymore.” That’s when I realized my heart was in the wrong place.
Then, a year or so later, a huge health crisis landed me in the hospital for ten days. I couldn’t drive for six weeks. Outpatient therapy continued for four months. As a homeschooling mom of four school aged kids all under age 12, that time period was HARD. But
we were blessedly overwhelmed and sustained by the ministry of food!! I could not stand longer than 10 minutes and required a walker. Cooking for my family was not possible. People from church, husband’s work, and a few nearby family kept us fed for four straight months!!! For much of that time, I was too weak to even organize who came when – someone else took care of it.
My children will never forget all those precious meals and the kindness and generosity of all those people! When my husband recently considered an offer to change work departments, our kids’ first response was “will they take care of us if Mom gets sick again?” Not exactly the kind of measuring stick used to evaluate the corporate work environment, but absolutely precious!
Now I am fully recovered and we enjoy sharing with others when needed. Your post inspired me to pray that God will show me when to minister even if not so “obviously” needed. Thank you!!
Loved, loved, loved your comment! I am so sorry for that tough, tough period you went through (hard to even fathom) but what a miracle of meals (and I’m sure more) that you received! Honestly, four months…that is remarkable. It’s interesting reading all these comments and seeing many, many people state the same thing…that basically the giving and receiving does end up coming full circle. I just love that and it gives me hope and inspiration in those times when ministering feels like a burden.
Beautiful post and discussion. I also minister through food and have also been on the receiving end many, many times. Times that come to mind are when sisters met cravings I had that they didn’t even know about. We can do so much good when we seek and follow inspiration. I will never forget a sister who took my toddler to her house to play for the morning so I could rest with my newborn fifth baby while the other children were at school. She brought my toddler back with a giant piece of carrot cake for me-that I had been craving. Another sister brought a ham and pineapple pizza, also meeting a craving.
This fifth baby was due at Thanksgiving. I had a turkey in the freezer but I just could not wrap my head around doing a Thanksgiving dinner. I was exhausted and anemic. My ministering sister called and invited our family for Thanksgiving dinner, saving me the work and effort that I just could not do. I was in early stages of labor by the time we went for that dinner. I had offered to bring a dessert and I was really craving pistachio salad but it felt overwhelming to make happen. She did not know this but pistachio salad was served at that dinner. These sisters exemplify service and ministering and acting on inspiration. Thanks for a great discussion and so many delicious recipes, Mel. I recommend you to everyone.
Wow!! Those answers to cravings (and prayers) are amazing! I loved reading that. Thank you for sharing!
I echo so much of what you wrote. I lost my mom to cancer a month before my daughter was born and my dad to cancer two years later. Meals sustained my family on so many days when I could not. And I am overwhelmed at the beautiful community that lived into us well. But rewind 12 years and I was a newly married newcomer to a small town community just trying to find a place that fit. I decided to do that through cheesecake. I wanted to learn how to make it but goodness knows I couldn’t start a two cheesecake a week diet! So I began introducing myself and family to neighbors a few (subpar) slices of cheesecake at a time. As my baking improved so did the friendships that car along with it. Food can be a powerful communicator, a bridge to cultures, and just a gift.
I’m loving that cheesecake initiative that both allowed you to serve others and also perfected your cheesecake talent!!
Thank you for your post! I, like many others, cried as I read your post. You are a inspiration. The transparency and faith. Thank you.
Thank you, sweet Traci.
Yes! One year my dad had been without a job for too long and my independent mother struggled accepting any help yet someone who knew all that left baskets full of delicious food for us near Christmas time and it impacted me forever.
I’ve shared MANY of your recipes with my friends through ministering to them with food, most recently your chicken tortilla soup last week.
Thank you for enabling me in so many ways to spread the love in the world. I especially appreciate you using your website to post about it. I loved reading this!
Thank you for sharing that, Maria!
I have been thinking about these exact same things! I love your blog Mel- and go crazy anytime you post a new dessert until I can make it and take it to someone and share some love. I love to minister to others, with or without food. My husband also has a heavy and time consuming calling and we recently welcomed a new baby into our home. I was overwhelmed after our baby came at all those that wanted to bring treats and meals. My initial thought was, “We are fine- I’ve got a freezer full of meals I’ve prepped for our family or my kids can be picky eaters with other people’s food.” I had the though, “Let people love you.” I love to love others by caring for them, but often find myself resisting the same kind of love. I decided to accept ALL the love those around me wanted to share and result was amazing. I felt so cared about and support. I loved how you said that minister is not suppose to be one-sided- we need to allow others to minister to us. Thanks for you thoughts!!
I think what you mentioned is an important, and actually quite hard, aspect of all this. Sometimes maybe we really don’t need more food or meals or whatever. And I don’t think it’s wrong to be up front and let people know that, but I also loved your sentiment of “let people love you” – so important.
I grew up and remain intensely southern. Food was the language for love, sorrow, heartbreak and joy, Around the food-laden tables of my life. I have learned compassion, gentleness, spiritual generosity and the biggest attribute to me: a willing heart. My personal testimony to my friends and family is “I will…” whatever they need, whenever they need it. And to God, my deepest commitment is “I will.” Without question or argument, yes, I will. Life is tough but I am tougher. And when I need to get up for the next fight, it is my girl friends that put me on my feet. Prayers for your sweet journey.
I will. So simple. So profound. Thank you for sharing that, Susan. Thank you so much.
Oh my goodness! Amen! I feel the same way! So many stories of people ministering to me and where I’ve been able to help others with food. The first one that popped in my head though was a time I was feeling very lonely and probably having a pity party. I told my husband I felt like no one ever brought me a little treat, when food is definitely a way I show my love. Within a few hours, a friend brought over the best banana bread just out of the blue! I cried! Heavenly Father knows our hearts. I’m grateful for angels who have ministered to me AND those I’ve been able to help!
Thanks for sharing this today.
Thank YOU for sharing, Bonnie.
Mel, you are brave and thoughtful and awesome. Thanks for sharing your faith (in action). You inspire me to be brave and thoughtful and awesome too.
Thank you, sweet Jan.
I just cried and cried reading your post because it resonated so deeply with me. The last few years have been so full of people ministering to our family with food from babies, deaths, random I’m thinking about you, and currently surgery for me. And when you said that you want to think your family is fine and have people minister to others that need it more, but then think maybe we actually do need it. It was what I have always thought but could never articulate. Thank you for these good and true words.
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Jessica – and much love to you through these trials you are facing. It’s so hard to be on the receiving end…but I’ve learned to tell myself that for every service given to me and my family, it allows me to open my heart and pay it forward to someone else even if that may be far in the future.
I almost could have written this myself. The first time I was ministered to through food was when I was a very young first time mom with a new baby. Those hot delicious dinners changed my life! The impact that service had on me has been immeasurable and altered the course of my life. I love to be on the giving end and am humbled and grateful when I’ve been on the receiving end. Love this, love you. Just yesterday I finally made a huge batch of those burritos you posted because there have been many families on my mind and how easy to bring some over with some cookies and lighten someone’s load just a little and let them know they’re loved. Thank you for all you do, Mel. ♥️
Thank you, Holly!!
Thank you for sharing and for your example Mel!I started baking cupcakes to make some extra money a few years back and almost always I’d have extras. In the beginning I’d offer the extras to my young children(I too have 5) but then I started thinking why not give them to someone who “needs” them(we all “need” cupcakes now and then, am I right?;) So instead of offering them to my kids, I would ask them “who do you think needs these cupcakes today?” and they’d get so excited and start naming off friends, family members, their teacher at church or at school. Then I’d load up the van with kids and cupcakes and we’d deliver the goodies. It was such a wonderful experience for our family that we cherish and still do from time to time. And I completely agree with you Mel, food is love and we’re so thankful to share our love with others and for those who have shared their love with us
Yes, we all need cupcakes now and then! 🙂 I love how your kids have responded to the call to figure out who needs the extra cupcakes. What a valuable life lesson for them.
Thank you so much for sharing! Reading this made me teary. I appreciate your inspiring words and example. Lately I’ve loved how my daughters have gotten into baking and seeing the joy it brings them as they bring joy to others through sharing things they’ve created.
I bet that is truly awesome to see this aspect shining forth in your daughters. How amazing.
Sometimes people come to you and do things without knowing what a blessing they have been.
Yesterday we had to put our sweet dog to sleep. My poor sweet tender hearted 6 year old has not know life without his dog. Last night was full of tears and requests to just bring him back home. And then there was a knock on the door. We had been boo’d! This sweet sister in our ward didn’t even know what had happened that day, but her sweet treat brought a smile to my 6 year old. Bless her and her remembering my kids. She didn’t even realize that she changed a little boys out look on life for the rest of the evening with her funny faced sugar cookies. (She doesn’t know I know it was her)
Ministering comes in all forms and sometimes a prayer is answered without even realizing it. Love the quote, he is a very wise man!
Oh my heart is breaking for your family and for your sweet 6-year old. But what a tender mercy for that sister to drop by treats at that much-needed time (when she didn’t even know!).
Ministering is a blessing! Food is a blessing! God blesses us! It warms my heart to know people are thinking of me and my family and reassured me that through them, the Savior has my back.
Amen.
Thank you for sharing. My mother often ministered through food, also. I love to reach out but my time is just not available at this season in my life. I am looking forward to a time when I can once again reach out to others by making goodies. Appreciate your blog. God bless you.
And that’s what it’s all about – recognizing those times and seasons. It will come around!
THANK YOU, Mel, for the BEAUTIFUL post today, and thank you, as well, for all of the inspiring postings from your readers, below….In 2012, my mother unexpectedly passed away from a physician’s medication error, leaving Dad, my sister, and me feeling adrift at sea, as Mother was ~ and had ALWAYS been ~ our Captain. We were all bereft, virtually on the edge of not being able to function. HOW GRATEFUL we all were for our friends, family, and neighbors all over the USA who ~ besides messages of condolences (delivered both in-person and remotely) ~ generously provided us with main dishes, soups, desserts, etc. , comforting and relieving us from having to prepare meals & snacks for ourselves and the many loving people who called on us during our “shiva”/mourning period.
Both before and since our personal grief, I, too, have always found that supplying food (both homemade & store-bought, whether cookies or an entire meal) in times of crises (large or small) can concretely demonstrate to your loved ones just how much you care.
I also learned this valuable life-lesson from that WONDERFUL mother of mine, who was always at-the-ready- with a warm, loving heart, wisdom, a tissue, and a cookie (usually chocolate chip!) to wipe away any grief that came my sister’s ~ or my ~ way.
Thank you so much for your comment, Cheryl! Truly, truly wonderful what good can be found amid the grief of those moments. I’m so sorry about the loss of your sweet mom. She sounds like a remarkable woman and the gift of her example will last forever.
I really appreciated your words. I find ministering through food the easiest for me to do. Sometimes I let my introverted side take over and it is hard to be around people. There are constantly times where I serve with more then food but sometimes it is easier to drop off bread, cookies or a meal then go into their home and help in other ways. I’ve always felt very guilty about JUST dropping food off. Especially, when it started to be joked about or seen in a negative light at church.
I loved that you said this: “Food is the gateway that can lead to deeper, truer friendships and possibly alter the course of someone’s life…” I’ve gained some friendships because I made that first reach out with a plate of cookies. With that friendship, I then feel more comfortable to serve in other ways. I really appreciate your experiences and thoughts on this. Plus, 90% of the time, I’m taking in a recipe from your website! Thanks for the great recipes and letting us, as complete strangers, feel like we know you and are apart of your family.
Thank you, Keri! I think all service is valid and love that you minister through food. I, too, am introverted in a way that some situations fill me with anxiety and dread. I think the Lord knows our hearts and validates our service when we do it in the best way we know how.
We haven’t had a lot of opportunities in our lives yet (luckily). But there was one time about a year and a half ago, that I think will stick with me the rest of my life. A co-worker of my husband’s was diagnosed with cancer. It was a total shock, discovered from a routine appointment for something unrelated. And it was bad. He had to immediately go on chemo. Had a wife, 3 girls. I’d only met him a couple times, but everything I knew, he was an amazing person. There’s so many other parts of this story that make it even more heartbreaking, but I won’t go into it all because this is already long. My husband told me people were signing up to bring dinners and I told him I’d be happy to make something. No one was home when he dropped it off. But the next day he called my husband to say thank you. Said his whole family came home exhausted and drained and hungry. And they found a Mexican feast waiting for them. (I believe I made your creamy green chile enchiladas plus some other things) These are men that don’t get mushy, but my husband said he could tell how much it meant and what an impact it had on their family that day. A few months later they tried an experimental treatment that seemed to be working, then he suddenly passed. I’m tearing up just thinking about it. But I’ve never been so happy that I made a dinner in my life. Knowing I was able to provide even just a few moments of love and happiness during the worst part of their lives. You never know what a simple act can do for someone.
Thank you for sharing that, Angela! I got a little teary-eyed reading about this sweet man’s journey with cancer…and his unexpected passing. I’m sure the meal you made for his family made a lasting impact as well…and not just because of the food. I agree that you just never really know the impact of a seemingly simple act.
Loved this post because it resonates with my heart. My 92 year old father-in-law is living with us now. His sweet wife always cooked him delicious, from scratch, farm food and he has missed it so much. I’m so glad I can provide that for him now he is in our home. I do believe we need to remember to minister in our homes as well as to others, it’s so important, thanks for the reminder.
You are amazing, Tammy! Truly amazing.
Your post made me teary. It does matter so much and I am so hard to serve. I need to be better at that.
So! I made your big fat chocolate chocolate cookies, the ones in the photo, and brought a huge bunch into work. My friend told me that one of the nurses took 6 of them!! I just laughed and said they went to a good home. I made two kinds of the same cookie with different recipes. Yours won. Thank you, from the bottom of my ever lovin’ heart. You help me serve others so well. God Bless You!!
And how on earth can you keep up with this many comments!!! I am clearly not alone in being your biggest fan. Wait, yes I am. I am claiming the title officially….right….now! Nanananabooboo!
Um, she took six?? I love that! I wish I had the courage to take six cookies when faced with a whole tray. Haha. And I’m only barely keeping up. I’ve been reading and responding for hours. It might take me a few days but by golly, I’m going to respond to all of them!